This was one of the worst mornings ever , i
cried myself to sleep and even now i couldn't get out of my bed until atike came in .

" Come on you should wake up you can't do this " atike took the cover from my body but i pulled it back

She sighed making me turn to the other side

" Murad will be mad if you don't show up todafy , he had planned a meeting today for you and mehmed pasha

I immediately got up staring at her in disbelief

" You must be joking right " i said pushing my hair off my face

" No , look you should go meet him maybe you will like him " she tried to consolate me but it just seemed off

" Atike i don't want this , i don't care how he looks like or anything please leave me alone " i layed on my bed facing the side

" Believe me if you don't go it will get you in trouble " she said one last time before leaving my room

A part of me told me to get up and another part of me told me to stay and i sure chose the decision to stay .

I shut my eyes and surrouded to my tired body , but before i can already sleep fully the door opened after revealing murad's presence but i continued on sleeping

" Neslihan " murad said in a different tone this time , i immediately got up in a sitting position before i got up fully bowing to him

" Now why are you doing this " he said walking around my room as i was biting my inside cheeks from nervousness

" do you know what's the punishment of breaking a sultan's word " he stopped soon as he was standing infront of me

I had no choice but i fell on my knees

" Murad please don't make me marry someone i don't love " i sadly spoke trying to make him go back on his word

" If my father was still alive he wouldn't have married me like this , i am from the dynasty too not just like one of the harem girls you can do whatever you want with " the last sentece jumped out of my mouth angrily but i held myself back from yelling

"I am doing this because i love you , you not many years apart from gevherhan and she got married but why not you " i got up staring at him

" if you truly love me you shouldn't rush things on me like this " i replied as i wiped my tear away

sat back on my bed and pushed my hair behind before i sobbed on my pillow .

Why was this happening to me ? What was my sin to deserve this . I was so angry at murad , at one point i started feeling hatred towards him and my anger took over me fully

" if this is what he wants then i'll do it " i tried to calm myself down by repeating this but deep inside i knew i was going to take revenge on him and his decision .

The door now opened to reveal dilara who had a worried expression in her face

" Sultanum ? Why did his majesty come did you fight again " she said taking a seat next to me

" the usual , but for now i'll accept his decision but he will regret it after " she raised her eyebrow

" Look i don't want something to happen to you in the process fine ? Just stay safe and don't make any trouble . You know how bad his majesty's temper is more than i do " she warned me while she had a very worried expression in her face

" Kosem sultan had the idea and she will regret it too " i said reaching out to my cap who wasn't very far from me

" Where are you going " dilara asked getting up to tie the cap around

" Murad set up a meeting for me and mehmed pasha " i said turning around for her to tie it up

" Fine , kosem sultan already made me do alot of work that isn't mine i can't go with you " i turned around to stare at her

" Since when did she give you some tasks , you are my in service and she already has meleki and haci agha in her disposition " i said getting a bit pissed off

" She's our great valide sultan what can we do " i sighed in annoyance

" I'll look up on this matter after finishing " i reassured her before i opened the door to my room .

Me and dilara walked down the hallway gaining everyone's attention , i looked at everyone bowing to me before i continued walking . Atike and gevherhan never cared if someone bowed to them or not but i cared . This is why i was very feared in the harem and no one ever tried to disobey me , i was the strongest one among my sisters along with fatma and hanzade who were away from the country

As we were walking down the hallway my eyes caught a woman whom i've never seen .

" Who is this " i spoke to dilara who whispered in my ear

" Princess Farya " i raised my eyebrow as i scanned the woman up and down

" What is she doing in the harem it's forbidden " i said enough for her to hear

She immediately bowed as she noticed my presence

" Kosem sultan " she bowed making me laugh , does she really thinks that i am kosem sultan ?

" I am Neslihan sultan his majesty's sister " she immediately blushed

" Forgive me but seeing you looking this magnificent made me think you are kosem sultan " she awkwardly smiled before atike came

" Farya neslihan you finally met " atike took farya's side , then i realized i was the only one who didn't meet her yet .

Farya looked happy when atike joined , but i had to go

" Atike i have to go now , princess we will talk later " i smiled to them before i continued walking with dilara .

We walked towards the garden where i saw mehmet pasha standing there , i approached him quickly and his gaze immediately went to the floor

" Neslihan sultan " he said in a low tone before i ordered the maids to distance themselves from us

" I guess we both know why we're here right " he looked up at me deeply before clearing his throat

" murad always does this i am no longer surprised " i said under my breath before he spoke again

" If you don't want this marriage i can tell his majesty " he sounded serious but i only stepped closer to him making him look down awkwardly

" Did i mention that " i smiled before i could glance a smile on his face soon after

" Murad is talking about an expedition i think " i stepped back so he can speak

" Yes , we are aiming to go for revan this time and it would take so long . Maybe seven months or more " i nodded

" Then we should get married before right " he looked at me deeply in the eyes .

I was mesmerized by him since nd i never thought he would be young and very tall ,i only excpected an old man .

" What you desire " he said looking over at the person who was coming to our direction

" Sultanum , pasha " the agha bowed before mehmed pasha ordered him to turn his back making me chuckle

" What do you want " mehmed asked nonchanlently

" His majesty wants to see you " the agha said before walking away

" It was an honor to meet your highness , have a good day " he said slipping a paper in my hand before he walked away .

I never thought i would get butterflies in my stomach but i just got them . I despised him a lot and hated myself for getting married but now i might change my opinion about it