Let's see what fate has in store for #Axria...

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Scene 6: Worse Yet

A.D. 2015

More than anything she'd ever done, she hated this. Every cell in her body - and every fiber of her heart, in spite of the fact that it didn't exist - screamed against it, struggled to resist.

For one thing, she was giving credence to a warning from the creepy scissors lady, letting the freak's foreboding coos control her actions, basically. Even though she'd sworn to herself to never listen to a thing that woman said. But the words she'd heard last night had not stopped echoing darkly inside her mind: 'Vengeful enemies who may seek to exploit your greatest weaknesses... Ruthless foes who will not hesitate to threaten or to harm whomever you love most...'

And worse yet, worse than the fact that Atria fully believed what Charliese had told her recently... even worse than that was what it meant. What she now knew she had to do.

The only thing worse would be staying, becoming his ruin. Being the death of him. Just as she always was, to everything she touched, to anyone her shadow of a heart might ever love.

Given how... physically attached they always were, it was hard for her to snag a moment apart from Axel, a moment long enough to put on clothes for once and pack a bag. Today, she decided to do it right after his fine ass had hopped in the shower, while he was impatiently waiting for her.

"I'll join you in a minute," she lied.

Then scrounged around the house gathering what little she owned, anything she needed, cared about, or couldn't live without - though honestly, all of that applied only to the one she was leaving behind.

His sinfully, stupidly beautiful voice called out to her over the sultry patter of the shower, slicker than the steady stream of steaming water. "Been way more than a minute, babe..."

Ugh, of course he had to call her babe. "Yeah, uh, I meant more like ten."

"What the hell for? I'll be out by then."

Atria stuffed her hairbrush in her bag, atop the crumpled up, handwritten draft of her admissions essay. "Fine, I - I don't need a shower now anyway. We'll just fυck in bed when you're done, okay?"

"Um, okay..."

Once she'd finished packing, she sat at the edge of the bed, looking at the bathroom's open door, burying her face in her hands, then releasing a tremulous whisper. "Axel, I... I have to say something, but I can't let you hear it. It's the reason for what I'm about to do."

And then, for once, she let spill from her lips words she had never breathed aloud, to anyone, in all her life till now. Words that killed her because they were true. "I love you."

She knew there was a time when he had loved her, too. He had all but told her so. Whether he felt anything toward her anymore, she didn't know. But, for the sake of his sinfully, stupidly beautiful soul, she hoped to hell that Axel had stopped loving her long ago.

A.D. 2014

Shıt between them had officially reached an insane, unacceptable level of serious. Ever since they'd gone to Paris - which should so never have happened - they were all giggles and giddy smiles every time they got in bed, and it was straight-up stupid. Even stupider was just how much she loved it, but that was a secret she'd never admit.

She had already confessed far too much to Axel, in the several months they'd spent together, utterly inseparable from one another, ever since that weekend they'd first met. She'd shared some of the secrets from her shadowed past, though not all of them just yet. He now knew of what her foster father had done to her, but Atria hadn't mentioned how she'd killed the man, nor even that he was dead.

At any rate, those secrets had spilled out one night some time ago, after a round of life-alteringly amazing sex had left her brain completely broken - which, with Axel, happened to her often - and apparently his brain had been broken then, too, because they had ended up bonding over it and cuddling and shıt, and he'd fυcked her all gently and whatnot, with a touch that healed her wounds, which was the dumbest and most dangerous thing to do, and she'd enjoyed it, way more than she was supposed to, and he'd kissed her like she mattered, and she'd almost thought that maybe it was true.

Worse yet, ever since then, they'd done it again. And again. Their natural habit had always been to fυck like rabbits, but now they fell into this sweet, gentle thing basically just as often. And it was so blindingly mind-blowing that they didn't even know they'd fallen.

Or maybe they did, but surely neither of them would ever admit it.

Her heart felt compelled to say something, sometimes - like tonight. But she always held back, and was proud of herself for that; times like these, she would just stare into his gorgeous eyes, wondering if he could read her mind, then look away, hiding the truth with silent lies.

This time he didn't let her look away. Laying his hand softly upon her blushing cheek, Axel held her in place with his golden-green gaze.

Atria bit her lip, then nervously released it. "What?"

The faintest and most perfect hint of a smile pulled at the corner of his lips. "Just... stay still, like this. Just for a second."

Shıt. She shifted, slightly, too afraid to do as he had told when his voice was like that, resounding through the core of her soul. "Why?"

His smile widened, just a bit. "So that I can remember this."

"Remember what?" she instantly regretted having asked.

The smile on his sweet lips was still subtle, but nothing on earth had ever been so bright or half as beautiful. "The moment I knew..."

Fυck, double fυck, triple infinity fυck. She knew straightaway what he was set to say, and now she had to shut him up. "Don't," she butted in all of a sudden. "Don't say it. Because I won't say it back."

There was a little bit of heartbreak in his eyes, but also a heartfelt selflessness - which in turn, of course, broke her heart. Even though her heart didn't exist, she reminded herself for the billionth time.

He blinked, for the first time in what felt like years, clear eyes belying all his unshed tears. "You wouldn't have to..."

"I would want to," she murmured, meaning it. She truly wished that she could bring herself to say it back. "But I'm sorry, Axe... I can't."

He paused, for what felt like years once again, then slowly nodded, heart as heavy and as hollow as the motion of his head. Atria wished for a moment that her own heart still existed, but she'd extinguished it on that dark night when she had learned firsthand how fatal love could be, so any hope of that was dead. There was no use in talking about shıt like that, so she just held him and kissed him and fell into him again, letting her body tell the truth instead. It'd always been far more fluent than whatever empty words she might've said.

And so was his, tonight more than ever; Axel's every movement expressed that he knew all the secrets she'd never confess. She could tell that he wanted to win the words from off her lips, to conquer and to break her lying silence, more than he'd ever wanted anything before.

Yet it was not a war. Or if it was, it was a war within themselves, not with each other. She was biting her tongue the whole time, arching her head up to meet his luscious gasping mouth, framed by those trembling lips, to seal hers with his so the words wouldn't slip.

He fought off each attempted kiss, forcing her to gaze into his dark, glowing eyes. She closed them. Tight. But even and especially when her eyes were closed, he was the only thing that she could see. He was inside of her and all around her, everything she'd ever needed, secretly and desperately, and she... she... Oh. Where he moved in her, so deeply now, he hit a spot she hadn't even known she had. Her bright eyes fluttered open on the instant, meeting his, and then, right then, there in the endless mirror of his gaze, she knew she loved him.

"Axel, I..." her voice faltered and faded, succumbing to the echo of her own words in her head: I can't. She shut her eyes again.

"Atria, look at me - look at me when you say it," he breathed, bringing his beloved hand once again up to her cheek. "Please."

She died inside, a little death - and in that moment, for the first time, she felt life. She had to say it... had to say something, at least, as a lifelong wave of pent up pain and passion came crashing down, flooding her body and her soul with greater pleasure than she'd ever known or even thought was possible.

Oh, holy fυck, to hell and back, she loved him. For the gift that he had given her, tonight and every time. For everything he was. For everything she had to say, wanted, needed to say so badly - but could she?

He was reading all these thoughts that flashed across her flawless face, and he was smiling, breathlessly and beautifully, because of what he hoped to hear. The hope in his heart now was almost enough to free hers from its cage of repression, its prison of fear. Almost.

Her lips parted and words poured forth. Though not the whole truth, at least they were wholeheartedly true. "...I love fυcking you."

And that was that. The one word broke the sentence; to his open heart, it made a world of difference, and the world was deep and dark.

Axel had not erupted yet. Had been holding back, waiting for her words to set off the release, which would have made it that much sweeter. But instead, her words now left a bitter taste that broke down all that had built up, in both his body and his soul.

He hovered over her in silence only for the briefest second, then withdrew, rising from the bed and reaching for his clothes.

"Axel..." she tried to draw him back down toward her, but he only resisted and moved even farther. Every muscle in his body was a brick, forming a wall that she could probably never penetrate again.

"I love fυcking you too, okay?" he spat.

She stared at the firm barricade of his bare back, biting her lip before daring to speak again. "So... let's just keep fυcking, then?"

He abruptly turned to face her, at that. "Seriously? Are you fυcking serious right now?"

His visible fury legitimately terrified her for a second. His eyes featured a violent rage, the utter opposite of his beauteous gaze from mere moments ago. He quickly simmered down, though, stepping into a pair of pants, then rifling through one of his drawers in his bureau and grabbing up a wad of cash.

Atria sat up in the bed. "Um, what are..."

"I'm not sending you out into the streets without a little help," he bluntly stated, all the heated anger vanished from his voice, his tone as cold as if he'd never had a soul. "We both know you're broke, we both know I... care about you, and can't let you out there with just-"

"Axe...!" she gasped.

"This should be plenty for a while, though. Keep the change," he ordered, tossing the money at her. "A whore will always take a tip."

"Axel, do you really think this is fair...!"

"No. No, I don't think it's fair at all, this goddamn game you've played with me, probably with every guy you ever fυcked, and with yourself. It isn't right, it isn't fair to anyone."

She shut her eyes and shook her head. "But... but tonight, I just-"

"It's not about the words you said, or didn't say tonight. It's more than that," Axel told her. "We both know that it's more."

He was right, and she couldn't deny it. Didn't dare to try hiding the truth from him this time, let alone telling him a lie. "I..."

With his next words - the last that she would hear from him tonight, if not forever, as she feared right then - he couldn't look her in the eye. "Just take your fυcking parting gift, pretend that you're sorry you ever walked into my life, and then get the fυck out."

She did not take the gift, nor pretend anything, but she left him. Broken, in the void where her heart should have been.

A.D. 2015

It was easier to just pretend no time had passed since then, to forget everything that had happened, between that night last year and this present instant. To pretend that she was just obeying his command. Again.

Axel shut off the shower and stepped through the doorway, hair adorably damp and lower half wrapped in a towel, for some odd reason - Atria was just grateful that he wasn't naked. He started toward the bed, but then stopped in his tracks upon seeing his lover fully clothed, with a packed bag, standing across the room.

She inhaled a shaky breath, glad that he was far enough away from her, and freshly showered, so that her judgment wouldn't be impaired by his intoxicating scent, which happened all too often.

No excuses. She could do this. She had to do this.

"So, since I'm not big on bullshıtting or sugarcoating things... I'm leaving, and never want to see you again," she declared, wishing she could manage sounding like she meant it. "Don't - don't say anything, and don't ask why. Because no one can ever know the reason."

He just stared at her blankly for a few seconds, then nodded slowly as he blinked. "Right. Don't mind me, I - I'll just go on pretending I don't feel a damn thing."

His fractured voice and the forced smile that cracked across his perfect features, for a fleeting instant, almost did her in.

She lowered her gaze, hoping that this whole thing would be a little easier if she didn't have to look at him. "Never admit that you're pretending," she murmured. "We both know that's rule number one about having no feelings."

"Well, I guess just like hearts, rules are made to be broken."

Fυcking fυck, were those tears - in his eyes and now hers? No way she could let them out now. She struggled to summon her own tears back in. Why was he even talking. "I told you not to say anything..."

"And I told you to get the fυck out, to regret that you'd ever walked into my life, on that night, and I wish you had listened," he snapped, tone cold and sharp as an ice axe. "Wish I'd never let you back in, but don't worry - I sure as hell won't let it happen again."

She wished words didn't hurt. What hurt worse yet was the silence that came afterward, one that she feared would last forever.

"You're right - hearts are made to be broken," she agreed before turning to leave, flashing a forced smile of her own to fight the lonely tear that spilled, granting that one last truth before the lie she'd always told herself in order to survive. "Good thing I don't have one."

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... Thoughts? Feels? :'(

Next scene, we'll check up on the Campions in modern-day Greece - and I know they're nobody's favorite couple, but you*might* not hate me after this upFate... and I guess that's all I should say without giving too much away ;)

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