Ren

Back in my bedroom that night, I take a shower and start to regret the decision to have Gio meet my dad.  The idea of them meeting for the first time the very night I was planning to sleep over at Gio's house secretly seemed... wrong. I let the water rush over me and overthink. 

I'm being reckless; my dad's not stupid. He'll put two and two together. Maybe I should just be honest. I could go downstairs and just tell my dad the truth. Tell him I'm going to my boyfriend's birthday party and spending overnight at his house, straight up. 

No, no. Definitely not. 

My dad was cool, understanding, and pretty darn lenient, but this is unfamiliar territory. I had never really mentioned Ryder to him and had never tried to spend the night at Ryder's house. 

Maybe I should say we are going over to Jace's like usual? Perhaps I should make up a whole other story, like going to a movie and staying at Kristin's house afterward? 

Ugh, I hate lying to him.

After my shower, I try not to think about it, and an idea pops into my head for an actual present for Gio. I'll finish that mix tape I started making of all of our songs and give it to him. I borrowed Toni Braxton's album on tape from Vicky a week ago, but that's where I had left it. 

I sort through my music collection again, get my Pulp Fiction tape out of the car, compile a few other songs, and decide I have enough to make one complete side. The other side will be blank for us to complete together later. It takes two hours to finish the tape and create a little artistic cover.

Now it's two a.m., and I can't fall asleep—thoughts about tomorrow, both excited and anxious, spin on an endless loop in my brain, and I can't find the off switch. 

I was relieved when Gio said he was a virgin—happy to know he hasn't been with another girl in that way yet, and also a good thing to hear as far as being safer. But another feeling was now creeping in. Last year with Ryder, I guess I had just wanted to figure out what sex was all about and just... not feel the pressure anymore. But with Giovanni...ugh—I want to be close with him in that way more than anything! And I start to kinda wish I could take it back—to be a virgin again... with him.

♡♡♡

My alarm goes off at 6:45 a.m., and instead of feeling groggy, as I should feel with so little sleep, I feel fully awake and hop out of bed. I pull open my top drawer and take out the new black lace underwear and bra set I persuaded my mom to buy me last weekend, recklessly ripping off the tags and dropping them onto the floor.

After I've gotten them on, I dash into the bathroom, stare at my reflection in the mirror, and turn to view the back—damn, I've never felt so sexy before. I race back to my closet and promptly hide them under my baggiest black pants and my blue striped baby tee (which I've never dared to wear to school before), so I cover that up with my Adidas zip-up sweatshirt. A small smile curls my lips, feeling so covertly provocative for a school day.

"You're up early." My dad remarks as I zip downstairs and into the kitchen for some cereal.

"Yeah..."  I hesitate, wanting to say something about the afternoon but not knowing what. "Um, Dad?"

"Mmhm," he says, unloading the dishwasher.

"Remember, I told you last week that I kinda had a boyfriend now, um, Giovanni? The one I've been studying with after school?" 

He puts a few cups on the shelf, "Yes."

"Um, I'd like you to meet him today."

"Really?" Surprised, he turns his head but smiles happily, "I'd love to meet him."

Hmm. Maybe I won't lie to him after all...

 "Well, it's his birthday and..." The next part sticks in my throat.

He waits for me to continue, but the way he looks at me—my courage falls away.  

"We're going out to dinner and a movie with the group. Alexis and I will spend the night at Kristin's after. We'll stop by the house after school before we go out again. Gio loves football, so you'll have that in common," veering the conversations away from the lie.

"Great." My dad seems so pleased, but I feel so icky lying to him.

"Great," I say, looking at my cereal. 

♡♡♡

As Gio anticipated, morning classes go by so slowly, and I watch the clock tick by, minute by minute. In my math class, I blanked I had a quiz. I hadn't studied since we watched the movie last night instead, and I do terribly and feel like crap. At lunch, I meet up with Hannah and her friends out on the front lawn.

"So, you ready for the audition?" Hannah chirps as I sit down.

Oh, SHIT! The audition! 

I groan. "Oh no, Hannah, I completely forgot. I'm not ready, and it's Gio's birthday today."  

I look over to see Kristin strolling up to me.

"Hey there, lady, you ready for the audition?" 

I bury my face in my hands. "No, Kristin. I can't do it. I'm not ready." 

"Oh no! You're doing it. Fo' shizzle you are!" she insists with a laugh, then adds softer, "Come on, I'm doing it. You can't be worse than me."

"But it's Gio's birthday today. We made plans right after school," I moan.

"He can come watch you," Hannah suggests.

"No!" I almost shout. God. I'm already feeling insecure about doing it. I can't have him watch me bomb.

Kristin laughs. "Well, go first, then." 

In class, Hannah persuades Mrs. Jones to let me go first, and at the end of class, I instruct Hannah to find Gio by the busses and tell him I'll be fifteen minutes late.  

We're all sitting in the auditorium seats, waiting to be called. My stomach has curled into itself, and I feel like I'm about to be sick. I hear Ms. Jones call my name.

"Lauren Baker, you're up first." 

Crap! Crap! Crap! Why did I decide to do this?

My monologue is memorized, but nerves and the lack of sleep are finally hitting me. I heighten the zipper on my sweatshirt, stand, and walk up to the stage, shaking like a leaf.  

I stand mid-stage and look out into the crowd. A rush of heat and dizziness overcomes me, so I lower my gaze closer to the front row, where Hannah and Kristin sit, giving me big thumbs up. I force a weak smile and focus on them. Taking a deep breath, I start. 

"I had a dream once..."

Once I begin, it all seems like it's going to be okay. The words start to flow without thinking, becoming an out-of-body experience—I feel like I'm watching myself perform from the side. My chest begins to swell with pride.

I'm doing it!! 

Feeling more confident, I look further out into the audience. I'm just over halfway finished when my eyes land on a boy who looks like Gio sitting in the darkness in the back. Shit. Immediately, my mind blanks, then I panic. The rest of the middle section just won't come to me as the blood drains from my face, and my heart goes into overdrive.

My mind is grasping for words—any words. The only part that comes to me is the last line, and I say it and bow and race off to stage left before the audience even begins to clap.

 I sit on a folding chair and bury my face in my hands, feeling embarrassed, defeated, and mad at myself for being so disorganized today. 

When I think the deep red hue has mostly drained from my face, I shakily descend the stairs back into the auditorium. My eyes dart to where I thought I saw Gio, but some other kids are sitting there now. Someone else is already starting on stage, so I quickly say goodbye to Hannah and Kristin, who give me those "Sorry, but we still love you" smiles. 

I grab my things and speed off to meet Gio at our spot near the busses. 

As I open the doors, he is waiting at our spot, watching for the first glimpse of me. His beautiful smile spreads across his face like the sun after a rainstorm. I skip down the steps into his arms and melt into him as he pulls me in tightly. 

My emotions are clanging like pots and pans, and my eyes grow damp—I'm also just so happy the day is over and to be with him.

"Happy Birthday!" I say, muffled into his chest, squeezing him so tightly.

"Thank you." His voice is warm and soothes me. 

Raising my face to his, he covers my mouth with his, which melts away most of my worries. After our sweet kiss ends, he looks at me, studying my face. "What's wrong?" 

"God, I'm so glad school's over. I had a terrible day!"

He brushes my face lightly. "Why?" 

He holds our hips together as I tell him about not getting much sleep and my lousy performance in both math and the audition.

He grimaces. "Yeah, I saw that."

I groan in agony, hiding my face in his chest, and he gives me another big hug.

"Yeah, but don't worry, it wasn't as bad as you think." 

"Yeah, right," I grumble, unconvinced.

"Hey. But now the fun part starts!" He's smiling, trying to cheer me up, but his smile fades slightly. "I have been nervous about meeting your dad, though."

"Me too. But he loves sports and probably doesn't get to talk about it as much as he would like to, with me being a girl. You should talk about football with him." 

He nods. 

"Also, I panicked this morning. I told him we were going to dinner and seeing a movie for your birthday. So... can we go with that story?" It's my turn to look guiltily at him.

He seems unfazed. "Of course. No problem." He smiles. "Um, so, what movie are we 'seeing' tonight?" 

"Oh, good call! We need to have our story straight. I don't even know what's playing."

His eyebrows go up. "Um, 'Scream' is playing. I kinda do want to see that." 

"Hey, what time do we have to be at your house for dinner? You want to go see it, after we go to my house? Then it won't be a complete lie."

"Yeah! I can call my mom and ask her to make dinner late. The party won't start till at least nine, anyway."

We drive to the theater just down the street from the community center to check the movie times. Scream is playing a matinee at 3:50, which is perfect. I offer to purchase the tickets because it's his birthday, but he elbows me out of the way, insisting on paying for his girlfriend. 

We have an hour till show time, so that gives us just over a half hour to be at my house and still get back to the theater on time. As we turn onto my small street, I see his body stiffen. I park the car in the driveway, offer my hand, and practically pull him up the three cement stairs to my front door. 

The afternoon light is streaming in through the front windows and onto my dad, who is bent over a drawing at his big light-table while golf plays on the TV in the background. He raises his head from his work as we walk in.

"Hi, guys!" He beams a big smile at us. 

My dad is so friendly—all my friends love him.

"Hi, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Giovanni," and I put my hand on Gio's back.

"Hi," Gio says timidly and offers his hand, which my dad shakes heartily.

"Hi Giovanni, so nice to meet you!" clasping him on the shoulder, Gio's eyes widen in surprise. "I heard you like football."

Sports chitchat ensues, so I get Gio a can of Pepsi to split from the refrigerator and sit next to him on the sofa and watch them get on. My dad's so easygoing and friendly that I already see Gio relax and start to enjoy the conversation.  After a respectable amount of time, I interject.

"I'm going to show Giovanni my room quickly before we head out." 

"Okay," my dad says and then coughs. "Leave the door open a little."

Taking Gio's hand, I lead him up the stairs. I had cleaned my room for the occasion—mostly just putting the laundry in the basket instead of all over the floor. My full bed is the dominant feature, sticking out from the corner at an angle. 

"Nice room. So it does have a balcony!" he winks, then crosses over to the sliding door, angling his head, checking out the tree nearby before turning around, "But your room's not at all like I imagined."

I cock my head. "What did you imagine?" 

"I guess I was thinking... more pink? I dunno, I guess I thought of how girls' rooms are on TV shows, and my sister's room—more bows and shit." he grins.

My room is definitely not pink with bows. It isn't very girly at all—maybe my dad's influence. The colors are blues and greens, but the corner behind my bed is still filled with all the old stuffed animals I don't play with anymore but can't part with.

 "Let me just grab some things," I say, and he sits on the foot of my bed.

I grab my weekend bag and some PJs, duck into my bathroom for a hairbrush, a toothbrush, and make-up, and zip up my bag. I reemerge seconds later and gasp, almost forgetting his present. The wrapped mix tape sits on my dresser, and I discreetly place it inside when he's not looking. As I do, I notice my half-used Kodak disposable camera.

"Hey, should I bring my camera and take some photos of you on your birthday?" playfully holding the camera to my eye as if to take a photo of him on my bed.

"No!" he barks, holding his hand up and shooting me an icy look. 

I freeze. 

"Okaaaay..." slowly putting the camera back down, a little unnerved by his knee-jerk reaction to such an innocent suggestion.

"Sorry," he says, rubbing his neck. "I, uh, I just don't like photos taken of me."

"Oh?"

He fidgets and picks at his thumbnail. "Um, yeah, it's a new thing, I guess. I'm sorry, um, I just... prefer not to." 

He's obviously uncomfortable, so I let it drop, but there's an awkwardness now as we stare at one another. I hear my dad's footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Hey, sweetie," he says, popping his head into the room through the open door. "Can I talk to you for a sec before you go?" 

My tummy suddenly sours. "Okay."

My dad turns and walks down the hall to his room. I give Gio a quick glance. 

He gives a little grimace. "Can I call my mom on your phone quickly?" 

"Course." 

I leave Gio and walk down the hall to my dad's sparsely furnished room. When I come in, he is standing next to his dresser and quickly turns to face me, looking uncomfortable. Crap.

"Um, what's up, Dad?"

He clears his throat. "So, I know you, sweetheart, and I trust you, but I want you to take these tonight if you happen to need them now... or in the future." 

He hands me a small pack of Trojans.

"DAD!" I gasp, and a look of horror covers my face.

"I'm not saying I think it'll happen tonight. Just take them... so I know you have them, and you can be safe... whenever that is." And with that, he quickly walks out of the room and down the stairs again.

My body is frozen, my mouth agape, holding the condoms. After a minute, the shock subsides, and I rejoin Gio, who has moved to the side of my bed by the phone, looking through all my CDs.

I cough slightly as I enter. "Did you call your mom?"

"Yeah, she's cool with doing dinner later," he says, sliding the CD he has in his hand back into its space. "Soo... what'd he say?" he whispers, looking up with concerned anticipation.

"He gave me these!" my eyes go wide, and I throw the condom pack into Gio's lap.

He picks them up, his eyes widening just as much as mine, shock covering his face now. Then, the slightest smile creeps into the corner of his mouth. 

"You have such a cool dad!" he says, amazed.

"I do," I agree. 

••• A/N •••

Thank you for reading!

If you liked this chapter, please vote for it by tapping the star :)

What was your room like in high school? And hidden stuffed animals?

Someone is coming for some birthday cake next chapter... who could it be?