Gio has still been thinking about me, and we almost kissed! 

My brain keeps repeating these tantalizing facts so often I can barely focus on my schoolwork this morning. Plus, it's Friday, and the weekend awaits.

On the way out to lunch, my eyes scan across the faces for him in the hall—my heart ready to leap out if I see him again, but I don't. I consider the possibility of casually walking by his lunch table now that I know where he eats, and would if Sydney were with me, but instead, I just end up eating with some acquaintances I only know from last year's art class. Ugh. I hate lunch hours like this.

As soon as the end of lunch bell rings, I snatch my bag and head to my last class of the day. Drama. As I enter the blackness of the school's theater and inhale its musky smell, my shoulders relax. The theater feels like a second home to me at school. It's dark and vast but somehow produces a feeling of coziness and warmth within me—cocooning and protecting me from the outside world.

My eyes slowly adjust to the dim light to see the big proscenium arch surrounding the black wooden stage, and I let my hand drag over the backs of the old 1920 wood seats, which have red velvet cushions that match the heavy theater curtain. Memories of different years and plays and people flip through my brain like a slideshow. I really have met a lot of really special people here.

I come down to the second row and quickly take a seat next to Hannah. We exchange a brief smile before the drama teacher, Ms. Jones, begins talking about the upcoming auditions for the spring musical.

I love musicals and like to sing and act in my room at home—alone. Acting in class is still hard for me, but I'm getting more comfortable with it this year. Standing up in other classes to give speeches or presentations causes near-clinical panic attacks, but acting feels different—it's not YOU on stage; you're someone else, saying someone else's words.

"Why don't you act in the musical this year?" Hanna whispers to me.

"I don't know. I'm just not ready to be in front of a big audience," I whisper back.

"But you're really good." Hannah encourages.

"Really?" I furrow my brow. "Well..., thanks, but I think I'll just do backstage stuff again this year. Ms. Jones said she'll probably make me assistant stage manager, which is such a big deal."

Ms. Jones shoots me a sharp eye, warning us to stop talking during class. "The spring musical will be Oliver! this year," she announces.

Oliver! That's one of my favorite musicals! I first watched the movie on TV when I was twelve and had a crush on Dodger. I had the Broadway tape and knew all the songs already by heart. God, could I be in one this year? Nancy, the lead female, is right in my vocal range. Nope! I could never do that... but maybe I could just be in the chorus.

"I love Oliver!" softly escapes my lips, and Hanna smiles at me.

After class, Hannah and I walk out together.

"Come on, Lauren! Audition!" she says as she pulls on my arm.

"Maybe..." 

Her face falls. "Just maybe? Give it a shot. Please? We'll do it together." 

I laugh. "Okay, maybe just for fun."

"Yay!" Hannah cheers. "Hey, the girls and I are going to The Redwood Theater next Saturday night to see Train. Call me if you want to meet us there."

"Really? Hey, thanks, that sounds awesome!" 

She gives me a wave, and we part ways in the hall, but my body bubbles with excitement about the invite. Feeling buoyant, I deviate from my usual route and walk out the side doors to where the buses are—my heart aching to catch a glimpse of Gio today. The sun is out and shining right in my eyes just above the tree line, so I raise my arm to block the intensity of the light. My luck doesn't disappoint me this time—my spirits soar even higher as my eyes spot him and his friends about to board the bus.

I hope he sees me, too, but he isn't looking in my direction. I watch him laugh and smile with his friends, and it makes me smile as well. I love how his dark chestnut hair looks perfect yet effortlessly undone, the auburn colors picking up in the low afternoon light you wouldn't usually see—my heart flutters.

He's the next to board the bus as I walk the double-wide sidewalk beside them. The sun feels warm and wonderful on my face, and I feel warm and wonderful inside, too. A kid runs past me, shouting to his friend at the perfect moment, and Gio turns and catches my eye.

I don't even have time to overthink what I should do—I'm already smiling, and he smiles the most handsome smile back. My heart skips, and I momentarily look down to enjoy the excited rush his smile gave me.

Lifting my eyes back to him, I see he is now holding up the line, and he has the most devastatingly alluring look in his eyes—his smile growing wider, as is mine.

"Hey, move or lose it!" The kid behind him yaps.

"Chill out!" he shoots back at the kid, then slyly winks at me and boards the bus.

Ah! I'm dead.

I practically skip to my car with delight, turn on the stereo, and pop in my "Happy Mix" tape. I fast-forward it to the Cure's "Friday I'm in Love," singing along with the lyrics as I drive to my usual after-school hangout: Cool Beans Cafe.

"I don't care if Monday's black. Tuesday, Wednesday, heart attack. Thursday, never looking back. It's Friday, I'm in love!"

...

Alexis and most of my old guy friends hang out at Cool Beans, especially on Fridays. If any of them is having a party, that's where you have to be to find out about it. Since I can't drive to Sydney's college to be with her every weekend, I still cling to this opportunity to get out of the house, even though they don't exactly seem ecstatic about my company. It's not that they dislike me by any means... but they'd never just call me up, either. 

Once you leave the house, there's little chance you can contact anyone—you just have to know where they are. Cell phones exist, but no one I know has one unless they're a doctor or a major drug dealer. Everyone has pagers—a poor excuse for a way to get contacted by your friends if you ask me—but it's all we have, and I still feel pretty cool to have one.

However, in reality, barely anyone pages me, and no one will return their pages if they are out of their house unless somehow they know it's super urgent. The coffee shop's public pay phone is regularly out of service, or even if it is working, kids have probably already spent their quarters on coffee.

Anyway, the bottom line is I just have to show up in person if I want to hang out or party with them.

I park my car in the lot out front. Cool Beans Cafe is in an old train depot, with two old trains rusting away inside. It looks a lot like a large barn, with a weathered grey wood exterior and a huge peak-shaped roof, and the coffee bar is where the waiting area would have been.

On my walk up, I see my friend Colin, in his big black trench and fedora, on the pay phone out front. I walk past him and skip up the stairs under the big roof, along the station, and into the coffee bar. Inside, the seating area is full of adults doing work, but that's not where I'm headed. I order my coffee and go out the back door to look for my friends.

I find them immediately, sitting outside on the patio at our typical plastic table. Still rail-thin and graceful, Alexis is bumming a smoke off her ex-boyfriend Jace.  They dated for two years, and I have yet to find out why they broke up, but they remain good friends.

I go to sit with them, stepping over Jace's long legs to get to my chair. It wobbles a bit because its plastic back is cracked. Are there any chairs here that Eddie hasn't broken? flits through my mind as I take a sip of my coffee.

"Just take your GED and get out of that shit hole," Jace says as he blows out smoke from his cigarette, flipping his blond grungy hair to the other side with his long fingers. "The classes at the junior college are way better. High school's such a fucking joke."

"I know, I'm so over it," she laughs blithely. "Not like I can afford university, anyway."

Alexis' mom is still single with a dead-end job at a bar and is on the verge of emancipating her. Her mom plans to move back east to take care of her aging parents and live at their house in Maine, and Alexis refuses to move with her. When I ask her about it, she usually laughs and says she will be the lucky one with no parents at seventeen, but I don't quite believe her. 

"I'm going to work at the bookstore and write novels," she says. She can charm the pants off anyone, and I think she's counting on using that skill to get by in life.

Jace ashes into his empty coffee cup. "You will easily pass it. I didn't even study." Then they finally acknowledge I have sat down. "Hey," he nods to me.

"Hey, Ren," Alexis says and sips her coffee.

"Hey. I didn't see you at lunch today." 

"Nope—skipped eighth period and came straight here. I'm on my fourth cup of coffee right now," she smiles triumphantly.

"Ren, you never told us if you and Sydney made it to the Conspiracy show last Saturday night," Jace points out, putting one of his large black Doc Marten boots on the table, his knee exposed out of a giant hole in his black jeans.

I tuck my hair behind my ear. "Yeah, it was awesome." 

"Oh, what fun!" Alexis sings and takes a drag. "At the Trinity Theatre, right? Anything exciting happen?" she adds as she blows out her smoke. Just then, Colin joins us, taking a seat next to me.

"What's up, Ren?" he says in a monotone voice. His parents divorced at the same time as mine, and he wants to be dark and brooding all the time now, but really, he is goofy and kind underneath that black fedora and trench coat.

"Ren was just telling us if anything exciting happened at the Conspiracy show last Saturday..." Alexis prompts. "You and Sydney usually have amusing stories to share when you get together."

"Nope," I say shortly. I'm definitely not talking about what happened with Gio to Alexis right now, especially in front of Jace and Colin.

Jace begins talking away emphatically—something to do with globalization I can only partly follow. He's charming and very smart—usually the one talking the most, never running out of things to say. He seems older than he is—though only a year older than me, he often refers to me as 'kid' in an endearing way.

His mom lives in an old Victorian duplex in the city near my mom's house. Jace's dad left when he was young—seems our entire group at Cool Beans is being raised by single parents. His mom is very sweet but absent a lot—spending most nights at her boyfriend's house. However, this leaves his house open most Fridays for parties, which works perfectly for me since I stay with my mom on the weekends, and tonight is no exception. 

Finally, many cups of coffee and cigarettes later, it's decided: we'll go out for pizza and drive over to Jace's after.

Gio will remain my little secret... for now.

https://youtu.be/mGgMZpGYiy8

••• A/N •••

Thank you for reading!

If you liked this chapter, please vote for it by tapping the star :)

Should Ren try out to act in the musical or take the assistant stage manager's job backstage?

What did you think of Ren's Cool Bean's friends?

More study hall time with Gio next chapter. See you there.