I'D ROYALLY screwed up, I knew that for sure.

My heart was pounding and my legs couldn't stop shaking, I almost felt pathetic for even being this worried. What's the worse she could do, kill me?

Or worse, expel me.

For once, James didn't have a stupid smirk on his face or a cocky attitude, which was a relief. He simply sat in his seat next to me with a blank face, hoping he could leave soon.

Professor McGonagall stood over us as she said very firmly, "This sort of behaviour is not tolerated at Hogwarts! You're lucky it's your first day, otherwise you'd get a letter straight home to your parents and a train back!"

Neither of us reacted. I certainly didn't want to anger her further then I already had done. But I couldn't quite pin point who she was more angry at, me or James?

Perhaps both.

"As this is your first offence, I will let you two off somewhat lightly."

We both sighed in relief, but she immediately stated loudly, "But you have lost 20 points from Gryffindor each, and you will spend the rest of week after classes in detention."

We both groaned in frustration, my house was going to hate me for sure. She turned to me and asked, "Miss Black, how on earth did you manage to learn the disarming spell? You shouldn't even know what it is until next year."

I grew nervous, I didn't want to explain how I knew. I didn't want bring my family into this mess, I needed to make up some excuse in order to keep it a secret.

I mumbled, "I read it in a book, one of my sisters had one and I borrowed it a while ago."

She eyed at me, trying to figure out if I was lying or not. I tried to give her my most convincing look that I was 'telling the truth'. She simply nodded, buying into my lie.

James asked impatiently, "Can we go now?"

She sighed slightly, she said in a calm manner, "Yes Potter, you two can go to your lessons now. I shall see you in the Detention Chamber at the end of the day."

We both stood up and mumbled, "Thank you Professor."

I quickly headed for the door and sighed in relief as I finally left her office. James came out a few seconds later and unfortunately had his stupid smile back on his stupid face.

I rolled my eyes and started walking down the corridor to my next lesson. James quickly ran up to me and exclaimed, "Damn, she's scary. Don't want to get on the wrong side of her."

I retorted back, "I think you already have, Potter."

He pulled an fake offended look and said in a dramatic tone, "Whoa, bit harsh. Well, if we're just going to refer each other by last name, so be it.. Black."

I just grumbled, "Just stay out of my way. You're lucky I didn't do worse."

Eventually, I lost him and finally found my classroom for Charms. Sadly, I knew it wasn't going to last long enough and I had detention straight after, which really bummed me out.

But I still enjoyed Charms, learning simple but useful spells really did cheer me up. My favourite was definitely Lumos, it definitely helped me with my fear of walking in the dark.

Plus, Alice managed to cheer me up with her cheerful and "go lucky" attitude. I had never met someone so positive and optimistic in my life, it was certainly refreshing considering my background.

Then again, all the girls were extremely happy and just filled with sunshine and rainbows. Unlike me, who extremely pessimistic and had a different outlook on life.

Eventually, the lesson was over and I reluctantly started walking to the Detention Chamber. I couldn't believe that I managed to get detention for the whole week, on my first day!

Actually, I take that back. I can believe it, I'm a Black who has managed to make friends with muggle-borns and half-bloods, get into Gryffindor and start a duel with a fellow student.

It's not hard to believe.

I proceeded to spend at least two hours with Mr Filch, who's the caretaker at Hogwarts, in the Detention Chamber. It was agonisingly boring, I prayed to Merlin that it was going to end soon.

He certainly didn't like me, but then again, I don't think he liked any of the children. But I did know he was a squib, I couldn't help but feel a little bit sorry for him. Imagine knowing that magic existed, but never having the pleasure to perform it yourself.

It would be hell for me, magic was everything to me. I'd die if I couldn't ever use it, it was a part of me that I never went to let go.

The detention finally ended and I was free to go. I immediately bolted out and headed up to the Gryffindor Common Room. I quickly gave the password and raced upstairs, where I saw Lily, Marlene and Sirius by themselves by the fire.

Marlene immediately saw me and exclaimed, "Pen! You're finally back!"

She ran up to me and flung her arms around me. This girl had a thing for hugging people, not that I was complaining that much.

It was... comforting.

"So, how was your detention with miserable Filch?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes and said, "It was boring. What's worse is I have to be there now for the rest of the week."

Sirius asked me out of the blue, "Have you seen James yet?"

I mumbled, "No, thankfully not."

He rolled his eyes at me. I immediately started to get annoyed with him, ever since we arrived to Hogwarts, he hadn't said a word to me. It was like he just pretended he didn't know me, which did hurt me a lot.

He was my cousin after all, he's the only family member I cared about. I got no one but him.

I asked in a nervous tone, "Sirius, can I talk to you?"

Briefly, I looked at Lily and Marlene, "Can you wait for me at the dorm? I'll be there shortly."

Both of them nodded, knowing that we needed to be alone. They went to the stairs and went up to our dormitory.

I turned back at Sirius, feeling worried about what I was about to say to him. He stared at me with a expressionless look, his arms crossed as he stayed sat on his chair.

I breathed in and simply said, "A lot has changed, Sirius. Especially you and me."

He asked, "Why do you think that?"

Nervously, I messed around with my hands as I tried to figure out what to say next. This was harder then I thought it would be.

I started to explain, "Since we got here, you haven't said a word to me. In fact, the last time you even spoken to me was on the train. I don't want us to suddenly go drift apart, you know, we're family. We're supposed to stick together, we're Sirius and Penny."

He breathed in deeply as he took in what I was saying to him. Finally, he said in a rather harsh tone, "Maybe I don't want to be just Sirius and Penny anymore. Maybe, for once in my god damn life, I don't want you to clinging to me like a lost puppy. You don't need me; you have your friends and I have mine, alright?"

I was extremely hurt by his words. Did he suddenly not care anymore? Gradually, I began to get extremely pissed off at him.

This was all Potter's fault, he's changed him.

"Well, sorry I give a damn about you! Next time you have a problem, you can go to Potter for comfort 'cause I'm certainly not going to do it!"

He scoffed in disbelief and exclaimed, "What is your problem with him?! He's the first friend I've ever had, and you're just automatically hate him."

"He's an egotistical git! Are you seriously asking me why I don't like him?! You're unbelievable, you know, I wish I never showed up with you."

He immediately spat back, "Well, sometimes I wish you weren't my cousin!"

That stung. That really hit me hard, it was like someone had stabbed me in heart and decided to twist a little bit more for fun.

I could feel tears starting to develop, I wanted to spill all of them out. I wanted to shout, scream how much I hated him and how I wished he was never born.

But I couldn't bring myself to. Part of me still loved him, despite what he said to me.

I just stared at him in disbelief, I couldn't even bare to look at him.

I simply mumbled as I held back my tears, "Everything is moving too fast. Including you."

He looked at me, unsure whether he meant what he said to me. But I didn't care at the time, I just wanted to get away from him.

I finally said to him, "Well, I hope you'll be happy without me then, Black."

The moment I said that, he immediately started to reject what he said to me. He said quietly, "Wait, Penny, I didn't mea-"

I didn't let him finish as I started to walk up the stairs to my dormitory, tears flowing down my face and aching pain in my chest.

It was clear that he didn't consider me family anymore and if that's what he thought, then so be it.