LONG CHAPTER INCOMING!!!

Connie's POV:

I wish I could say that knocking back the two hefty glasses of bourbon had given me the courage to explain everything to Chase but if I did, it would be a lie. Nothing in this world could prepare me for the story that I was about to tell. Not even time. Sure, I'd known that Chase would eventually find out about his paternity given his love for all things genealogical but that didn't mean that I hadn't held out the briefest hope that he never would. But here we are, him pissed off and hurt –and rightfully so.

Finding a spot on the wall, I focused on it as I took a deep breath for courage and began to tell the story.

"In order for you to understand all of this, I need to start from the beginning, I mean the very beginning." I said, not taking my eyes off the spot I had chosen to focus on. I felt Chase shift on the couch a second before I heard the glass bourbon bottle clink against the glass on the table. I waited until he had returned to his reclined position on the couch before I spoke again.

"I was six the first time I ever went to a race. Your grandfather took me. It wasn't what the races are today by any means. Just a dirt track and guys in cars that they worked on in their spare time. They used every spare dime they could scrounge up to make their cars better. Everyone had a dream of making it a sport that was slowly gaining traction but they all knew that not everyone would make it." I said, a smile coming to my face as I thought about that experience. Mama had been mad that daddy had taken me to the track in one of my Sunday school dresses. The red clay of the dirt track had ruined the dress but daddy had brought me a new one to make up for it even though buying the dress had taken away from his weekly allotment of cash that was his to do with what he wanted. "Anyway, Daddy and I were sitting on the bleachers watching the race when a father and son sat down beside us. The father looked to be about daddy's age and son about mine. I was shy at first, not really understanding what was going on but unable to take my eyes off the cars as they zoomed around the track. But as the night wore on, the son – I'm guessing you know it was Dale by now– and I became fast friends, running up and down the bleachers playing tag. When we weren't doing that, we were standing at the fence watching the cars go round and round the dirt track sending red dust flying from beneath their tires with each pass.

"The two of us were standing at the fence as we waited for the next race to start. Dale, who the father had left with daddy and I, pointed to a car that was just pulling onto the track, telling me that it was his daddy, Ralph. Dale and I watched as the cars lined up for the start of the race, Ralph on the front row. It was my first time at a race and I didnt know anything about it but I knew that starting at the front of the line was a big deal. I remember commenting on that and Dale telling me that his daddy was starting in second place.

"Dale and I watched as Ralph dominated the track and the other drivers, cheering him one each time his car flew by the spot we were sitting. As the laps ticked off, it was evident that Ralph was a great driver, that he could go far in the sport. But it was the look on Dale's young face that told me that he had been bitten by the racing bug too. The smile that came across his face each time his daddy passed by, the loud cheers he screamed when his father would block someone from passing him, the energy that came off him in waves as the laps counted down, all told me that there would be a day that Dale would be in a car driving just like his father.

"When the race was over, Dale ran to his father who was sitting at the finish line celebrating his win. Daddy had lifted me up onto his shoulders so that I could see what was going on around me. He heard me cheering on the man that we had both just met tonight and vowed that he and I would make this a weekly thing and that we would always cheer for the man that had won at my first race."

"So you knew Dale Sr when he was a kid?" asked Chase. I could still hear the residual anger in his tone but there was also astonishment in it too.

"I did. He and your grandfather actually became good friends. He actually hired my daddy to help him work on his car from time to time and to help with touching up the painted logos of the sponsors before the race." I said. "On days when daddy was helping Ralph, me and Dale were usually off playing. Most of the time that playing included sitting in old cars at his house and pretending that we were racing. Like I said, we became close friends.

"Fast forward a few years –I think we were both about fourteen or fifteen by then– and it was Dale's turn to get behind the wheel. I remember being terrified that my best friend was going to get seriously hurt. He'd begged me to go to the race and I gave in but I did not stand at the fence and watch. I couldn't bring myself to do it because if he was to wreck, I didn't want to be there to see it. Looking back, I think that I knew back then that there was something developing between Dale and I that was more than just a great friendship.I think that was why I was so hesitant about watching him race.

"Anyway, Dale ended up winning." I said, needing to move forward with this story. "I was sitting in daddys car in the lot when I heard the guy over the bullhorn announcing his win. I climbed out so fast that I tripped, scuffing my knee and tearing the lace trim from my skirt. But I didn't care. All that mattered was being there to congratulate Dale on his win. But when I rounded the corner that led down to the track, I found Dale with his lips plastered to the girl that would later become his wife, Latane. I think that was the first time that I can honestly say that I had felt what it meant to have your heart broken. Not that Dale had ever led me to believe that there was more between us than friendship on his part but like I said, on my part, there were definitely feelings. But just like I had been raised to do, I shoved my feelings down and walked over to him and congratulated him on his win.

"After that Dale and I stayed friends but he obviously started dating Latane. It didn't take long for Latane to notice that I felt more for Dale than just friendship. Ultimately, she was the one that caused the riff between us and basically tore our friendship apart. Dale and I stopped hanging out. I stopped going to his races. I think Daddy knew why but because of the type of man he was, he didn't ask any questions. He let me deal with the loss of my friendship and the loss of my crush on my own terms, never pressuring me to go to another race even though I knew that it hurt his feelings that he and I didn't have that time to bond with each other any more." I said, as tears streamed down my cheeks. God, what I wouldn't give to go to one more race with my daddy...

"Anyway, a few years later, I met your father as he was on the way to pick up a blind date that he had been set up with. You've heard the story countless times over the years about how he got the address wrong and showed up at my door thinking that I was the blind date that he was supposed to be picking up so I won't go into that. Nor will I go into the whirlwind romance that he had or the birth of your brothers. Those details have no bearing to this story."

I turned to Chase then and watched as he held the glass of bourbon in his hands. He might not be Daniel's son, but in that moment, he reminded me so much of that man that I had spent my life with that it hurt.

Knowing that I needed to get all of this story out, I reached for my glass and poured another hefty serving of bourbon and downed it, letting the burn shove the ball of dread that was threatening to choke me, down. Placing the glass back on the table, started the story again. "Chase, I know that you idolized Daniel. I know that he was a major part of shaping you into the man that you are today. But that doesn't mean that he didn't have demons of his own."

Upon my words, I felt Chase's eyes on me and heard the questions that he refused to ask. Telling him this part of the story was going to be the hardest because of how much he looked up to Daniel. It was going to be hard because in the twenty-two years that Chase got to spend with Daniel, there was never any indication that he was ever the type to do what he had done just before Chase was born. But I was there. I lived it. I knew that it did happen.

"About two and a half years before you were born, Daniel got restless. He was drinking heavily and just seemed to be in a bad mood no matter what I tried to do to make him feel better. One night, he came downstairs carrying the duffle that he kept his hunting gear in and his rifle. He stood at the bottom of the steps and told me that he was going on a hunting trip to clear his mind because he was scared that he had jumped into marriage and rushed into having kids. He never even gave me a miss as he walked out the door.

"A week passed, then two without a word from him. And I knew that I needed to do something to support my family. That's when I got the job as receptionist at the high school. The wage was barely enough to keep food on the table and keep the farm going but somehow I managed, all while studying and taking classes so that I could go into education. I know that I could have let the farm go by the wayside but part of me wanted to keep it going because I believed that Daniel would come to his senses and come home one day.

"It was about a year after him leaving that I finally let myself believe that my hope of him coming back was ever going come true. In order to clear my mind, I dropped Casey and Chad off with the nanny that kept them while I was working and went for a drive. I didn't have a destination in mind. I just knew that I needed to be alone. I found myself pulling into the parking lot of the dirt track that daddy and I used to go to. There was a race going on.

"The nostalgia of it all had me parking my car and walking my way to the bleachers to watch the race. I didn't know anyone that was racing since I had not followed the sport but that didn't matter. I'd just sat down on the bleachers when the announcer came over the PA system giving the starting line up for the race. I was only halfway listening but when I heard Dale's name, my heart had stopped and my eyes began to wildly search the track. I saw him standing by his car, waving at the crowd. I don't know how, but out of all the people in the stands that day, his eyes found mine. The smile on his face grew from polite to full of happiness.

"I watched as he climbed into his car and strapped himself in." Tears once more flowed down my face.

"What happened next?" asked Chase, his hand landed on my shoulder.

"Well, Dale raced well, ending up finishing in third. I'd wanted to go to him, to say hi since it had been years since we had seen each other, but I was scared that Latane would be around and would stir the pot if you know what I mean. So instead of acting on my desire to see him, I turned and headed for the parking lot. I was about halfway to my car when I heard someone call my name, making me stop and turn to see who was calling me. It was Dale.

"The two of us hugged when he ran up to me. We stood there catching up for what seemed like forever but really couldn't have been more than ten or fifteen minutes. We didn't talk about Latane and he didn't ask me about the ring on my finger.

"I was just about to make an excuse to leave when he asked me to go grab something to eat with him. Part of me wanted to deny him since I was a married woman and this was a small town where everyone knew your business, but the part of me that felt jilted because of your fathers hiatus told me to go for it, to spend some time catching up with an old friend. So that's what I did.

"Dale and I headed over to the small diner across from the track. We sat there and talked for hours about everything from his marriage and then divorce from not only Latane but from Brenda as well. He told me about his son Kerry that he had with Latane, about how he had wanted to spend time with him and be in his life but he had chosen to make a name for himself in NASCAR. He told me about his other two children, Dale Jr and Kelly, about how they both were already obsessed with the sport of racing. We talked about his career and the woman that he was casually dating, Teressa.

"And then he shifted the conversation so that it was about me, looking at the ring on my hand as he spoke. I hadn't realized how much I needed to talk about my feelings about Daniel until that moment. All the hurt, all the love, everything that I had been struggling with poured out of me in that diner as I told him about Daniel and your brothers. I told him about Daniel's absence. And when I'd started to cry, it was Dale that had stood from his side of the booth and sat down on mine, pulling me into his arms, comforting me.

"Maybe it was the familiarity of him or maybe it was the loneliness I felt upon Daniel's abandonment, but I lifted my head and placed a kiss on his lips, right there in the middle of the diner. Part of me had expected Dale to pull away but he had only deepened the kiss. Just like I had dreamed of him doing all those years ago, he held my face in his hands after breaking the kiss and looked me in the eyes. He told me 'I should have never let you out of my life.' With emotions and hormones running high, Dale paid the bill and he and I headed out. I'll spare you the details about what happened next."

"Appreciate that."

"Anyway, Dale and I parted ways on the promise to stay in touch. And we did for the most part considering that it wasn't as easy back then as it is now. Cell phones really have changed the way things work in today's time." I said.

"I don't know a single person that doesn't have one," said Chase. As he spoke, I saw him pull his own phone from his pocket. I heard the groan that came from him as he looked at the screen. Chancing a glance, I saw countless notifications.

"Do you need to handle that before I finish this story?" I asked.

"No. There can't be much more." said Chase, slipping his phone back into his pocket."Better just get it all out and over with."

"Okay." I replied, even though I had hoped that he would at least call Callie and let her know that he was okay. "Anyway, Dale and I had arranged to meet up after his qualifying rounds at North Wilkesboro the week before Daniel came back into my life, breaking all the plans that Dale and I had talked about asking on. He was going to stop seeing Teressa and I was going to finally file for divorce since my husband had abandoned me. He and I were going to be together finally."

"So why did you stay? Why didn't you and Dale keep your plans?" asked Chase.

"The simple answer? I loved Daniel even though he hadn't really given me much of a reason to. I knew that Chad and Casey would be ecstatic to have Daniel back home and at the time, their happiness was more important than mine. I only ever wanted the best for my boys and I thought that them growing up with their father was the best.

"And me? Was going up with Dad- Daniel best for me?" asked Chase. It broke my heart to hear him calling his father by his legal name and not daddy. But I couldn't blame him.

"I didn't see a way to make it work where you could grow up with your father and Chad and Casey could grow up with theirs. Especially considering the grueling schedule that Dale was keeping at that time."

"So how did he find out?"

"Who? Daniel?"

"Yes."

"Well, after he came back, he and I did our best to make things work. I was working at the school and he was working long hours on the farm. I came home one day from school with what I thought was a stomach bug. Daniel had come in smoking a cigar and the smell sent me running for the bathroom. It was while I was emptying my stomach into the toilet that I realized that I was late. Since there had only been one man that I had slept with in Daniel's absence, I knew immediately who your father was. That led into me telling him about how I had thought that he wasn't coming home, how I had run into an old friend and how one thing had led to another. I had expected Daniel to get mad that I had broken my vows but really, he didn't have any reason to be mad since he had broken his too.

"Once we had confirmed my pregnancy, he and I decided to go get in touch with Dale, to tell him about my condition. But when I found Dale sitting on the wall of his pit box with Dale Jr. and Kelly with him, I couldn't tell him. I didn't want to blow their lives up. So Daniel and I decided to keep my secret. We decided that even though you weren't biologically his, we would be the only ones to know it."

"So no one else knew? Or even suspected?" asked Chase.

"Nope. Since Daniel had just gotten back and he and I were working things out, no one questioned whether he was your father or not. They all just figured that we had made up and were working on our relationship." I said. "Now, when you got older and started becoming a household name, I started to hear rumors about how much you and Jr looked like you could be related. I saw comments on posts that were made with you two together saying that you two had too much in common and favored too much to not be related.

"I can't see it." said Chase.

"It's in the eyes and the smile. You look more like Dale Sr the older you get."

"If Dale hadn't died in that crash, would you have told him about me after daddy passed away?" Said chase after a bit.

"I probably wouldn't have had to. He more than likely would have still been racing when you started working for Ryan. He would have taken one look at you and knew instantly that you were his. Especially if you had that mustache that you have now."

"Thanks for telling me, Mama, I just wish that you had done it willingly and I hadn't been blindsided by all of this."

"I know you do, baby. I just didn't know how to tell you." I said. "Tell me that you forgive me."

"You know I do mama. As mad as I am, I can never not forgive you for doing what you thought was best." said Chase.

I pulled him into my arms and hugged him with all my might, tears streaming down my face as I did so. I could have stayed that way for a long time too if it wasn't for the headlight cutting across the front of the house. Since I wasn't expecting company, I had no clue who it could be.

"I'll see who it is." said Chase, breaking out hold and standing from the couch.

I followed behind him as he walked to the door and swung it open. I don't know who I was expecting to see sitting in the driveway but it surely wasn't Dale Jr.