(Thomas and Bach are in the dining room of the Young's, with no one else around)

Thomas - "Do you want to see something?"

Bach (genuinely curious) - "Sure what?"

Thomas (Pulls out one of those cheap disguises with glasses and an attached moustache and puts it on his face) - "I just got this disguise recently to obtain extra free samples at Costco."

Bach - "Have those actually ever fooled anyone?"

Thomas - "Well yes. I fooled the sample lady at Costco just yesterday. Let me tell you what happened. You see, I already received a sample and then I returned a few minutes later wearing the disguise and she fell for it! Can you believe it! She gave me another sample...for free. Ha! I can't believe I just stumbled upon this genius idea within the last few months. It pains me to think about all the free samples I missed out on."

Bach - "Well they are free samples, and they don't care about giving more than one sample. You know that right?"

Thomas (appalled) - "Wait, you mean to tell me I have been spending countless dollars every month for the last few months on disguises to fool sample ladies for no reason!?"

Bach - "Well not entirely for no reason. You now have a collection of disguises and one could find amusement in trying on a number of disguises...Perhaps if they revamp Scooby Doo and make a live action film, like they do with all the other cartoons, you can provide your disguises to the film set."

Thomas (bummed) - "They already made a live action Scooby Doo film."

Bach - "Oh yes that's right! That movie was actually great."

Thomas (solemn) - "Yep, it was amusing. So there goes that idea."

Bach - "They could make a sequel, or just an entirely new series."

Thomas - "Nah, I wouldn't want them making another film, and possibly tarnishing the Scooby Doo Legacy."

Bach - "True...Oh wait, I got it! You can open up a Museum of Disguises!"

Thomas - "Are you kidding me?"

Bach (bewildered) - "What? Do you not like museums?"

Thomas - "I love museums, but rent is outrageous in the city."

Bach - "True...You are right...Well at least the samples were delicious? Right?"

Thomas - "Yeah, yeah...You're right."

Bach - "When am I wrong?"

Thomas - "You have been wrong numerous times."

Bach (offended) - "When!?"

Thomas - "20 minutes ago you told me tomatoes prevent ass cancer!"

Bach - "They do!"

Thomas - "Okay, well what about that time you told me rain makes a girl horny."

Bach - "It does! It makes them wet!"

Thomas - "It makes everyone wet!"

Bach - "Yeah! Exactly. Why do you think we all get excited when we see movie characters kiss in the rain? And have a longing and yearning for that sublime experience?"

Thomas - "I guess. Well what about telling me that KFC is considered a crueler form of torture than waterboarding and that there were statistics to prove it."

Bach (shows Thomas the research and conclusive evidence on his phone) - "It is! Look! Everyone agrees on the torture method being too cruel. The UN strictly prohibits its usage. Some even believe that if it was around in ancient times, it would rival even the cruelest of torture methods from antiquity."

Thomas (closely examining the article) - "Wow, you are right."

Bach - "Another fact about the horrors of KFC is that the show Fear Factor couldn't have a contestant eat a KFC famous bowl on live television because they thought it would be too graphic to show audiences. They claimed that showing John Goodman naked would be less graphic and less traumatizing for the masses to witness."

(Thomas is disgusted by the image and throws up all over Bach's sneakers)

Bach (outraged) - "You puked on my new Nikes! How dare you! You owe me new ones."

Thomas (wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and says in an unapologetic manner) - "Those were ugly shoes, I did you a favor. Now you must throw them out."

Bach - "But these were $120."

Thomas - "Just because something costs a lot of money does not mean the product is of high quality."

Bach (upset) - "I don't insult your shoe style!"

Thomas (haughty) - "Well you have nothing to insult."

Bach - "I can insult your salami nipples!"

Thomas (vehemently offended) - "I don't have salami nipples! Bologna nipples sure, maybe even Lunchable-ham nipples, but definitely not salami nipples."

Bach - "Your nipples are practically an exact replica of two generous slices of meaty salami. They resemble them so closely, that I am extremely tempted to grab one and place it on top of a water-cracker and top it off with a slice of cheddar cheese and take a monstrous bite. To be honest with you, my mouth is salivating to the point that you may as well call me Pavlov's dog."

Thomas - "I didn't know you had cannibalistic instincts, nor did I know that you found my nipples so appetizing and appealing...But then again, I didn't know you personally until a hour or so ago."

(It begins raining outside. They both look at each other)

Thomas - "I know what you are thinking."

Bach (attempts to hide his smile but can't) - "What?"

Thomas - "That you want to go outside in the rain just so you can see my nipples through this white t-shirt. I am not doing it, you hear me. I am not doing it! I refuse to be sexually objectified. I refuse it Bach! Absolutely and positively refuse it! Ya hear me!?"

Bach (covers his ears in pain) - "Yes I hear you, I'm a foot away from you and you are literally screaming. And I wasn't thinking that at all...But it isn't the worst idea you've suggested."

Thomas - "No! Absolutely not!"

Bach (flirtatious eyes and teasing grin) - "C'mon? How about just a quick nip slip?"

Thomas - "Do I need to say it in Spanish to you? (with a Spanish accent) No!"

Bach - "Sorry I don't speak Spanish."

Thomas - "No means no! Okay."

Bach - "I just looked up the definition of no in the Dictionary and it doesn't define no as that. Therefore you just lied."

Thomas - "Shoot, you caught me in a lie."

Bach - "And I caught you in a titty twister." (firmly grabs Thomas's salami nipples.)

Thomas (slightly frightened) - "Don't you dare twist."

Bach - "I don't dare."

Thomas (aggrieved) - "I don't dare you!"

Bach - "Three dares were mentioned, consequently that rightfully equates to three dares. I am able to refuse the first two dares, but I cannot say no to a triple-dare. That is just an irrefutable law of science, I'm sorry my friend. I don't want to do it, but I have to, science says." (Twists Thomas's nipples with a great ferocity and liveliness)

Thomas (screaming in both agony and ecstasy) - "AHHHHHHH! It hurts so good!"

Bach (calmly says) - "I know we just had dumplings a little while ago but can I pour you some Frosted Flakes? They're great!" (Does his best Tony the Tiger impression)

Thomas (shrugs his shoulders) - "Sure...why not? I have a sweet tooth."

Bach (perplexed) - "You have one sweet tooth? How is it more sweet than the others? How is that possible? Did it accumulate more glucose than your other teeth? If so, how? My interest is piqued."

Thomas (rolls his eyes) - "It is an expression."

Bach - "A mathematical expression?"

Thomas - "You are lucky you are attractive Bach."

Bach - "I don't need luck, I don't carry any lucky charms! I don't like that cereal, the marshmallows are so odd tasting."

Thomas - "They are fantastic. Dare I say, magically delicious. What are you talking about?"

Bach (spits on the ground) - "Yuck!"

Thomas - "I just had a sudden craving for the magically delicious breakfast cereal."

Bach (in a demeaning tone) - "Yeaaahh, I am pouring you some Frosted Flakes."

Thomas (coldly) - "No Lucky Charms dumbass."

Bach (slightly wounded) - "No need to call me names."

Thomas (apologetic) - "You are right, that was harsh. I'm sowwry. Will you pwease forgive me?" (playfully touches Bach's chest)

Bach - "I will forgive you...if you let me see your salami..."

(Thomas glares at him angrily)

Bach - "I mean bologna shaped-nipples...just for three minutes."

(Thomas continues to intensely glare at him angrily)

Bach - "Okay fine! Three seconds."

Thomas - "Fine, three seconds and not a second longer." (pulls down shirt to expose his bologna shaped nipples)

Bach (gleefully) - "Thanks! (Examines the nipples very closely with a magnifying glass) Let's go get Korean bbq. I have a sudden craving for meat."

Thomas (raises his eyebrows) - "Is that a sexual innuendo?"

Bach - "No! Not at all. I am just hungry and having a buffet of juicy meat just sounds great all of a sudden."

(Thomas suspiciously looks at him)

Bach - "Don't give me that look! I am just saying that I want some meat in my mouth, it is nothing to ponder over."

Thomas - "Alright let's satisfy your craving. Let us go get meat then."

(They drive to a Korean BBQ restaurant)

Bach (confused) - "Why are we here?"

Thomas (slightly confused) - "You said you wanted Korean bbq."

Bach - "I thought I made it clear that I want a buffet of meat."

Thomas (slightly confused) - "Yeah, there is meat inside."

Bach - "Ohhhh...I see." (winks)

Thomas (still confused) - "Yeah..." (They enter the restaurant.) "Table for two please."

(They are seated and order their food)

Bach - "Soooo...Is the place in the back? I get kinda shy."

Thomas (perplexed) - "Huh? What do you mean?"

Bach - "I thought I made it clear that I wanted to suck several dicks at once."

End of scene