"You were wonderful out there, little brother.    I hope we can sing together on that stage again with Master Liu and Mei Mei to make us stars in our own world. Would you like that?" Hana said with a bright expression. Her face dazzling with the white makeup and headdress, the stage lights illuminating around her head like a halo.

"Promise me we will always sing together, sister?" Lien asked in response.

"Always."

~

Lien's eyes shot open as he jolted upright in his bed. His heart was racing and his muscles were tense. He was sweating like crazy and he had looked around the room. Everywhere he had been so far from home, despite the fact that he had been in Vitya's house for two weeks. After Butterfly Garden, Vitya had rewarded Lien's obedience with giving him a break from that place, even if it was risky due to Master Cheung's fervent efforts to locate his grandson. He swung his feet off the bed and placed them against the floor. He remembered this bed, the first time that he and Vitya were physically intimate.

It was early morning and Vitya was not in bed with him anymore. The man was likely on the balcony drinking coffee. Lien rubbed his forehead free of the sweat on his brow. He had been dreaming about his older sister Hana a lot recently, perhaps that meant she was okay? Wherever she was. Lien stood and walked to the closet, grabbing clothes from inside that were not his particular style. Sweatpants and a t-shirt. He didn't have the energy, nor confidence to wear his silky, bright garments. He looked dull and moved like a zombie to the shower.

After that, he hadn't bothered wiping the fog off the mirror. His appearance didn't matter to him anymore, besides he couldn't look at himself anyway, even if the bruises were gone. He buried his face in the towel, enjoying the soft fibers. Then, he screamed into the fabric and muffled it. Dropping the towel, he walked backwards out of the bathroom until his knees bent at the corner of the bed and he collapsed against it. Staring at the ceiling.

~

"Little brother! It's lunchtime what're you doing?" called Hana. She had caught him picking flowers and shoving them in his pockets for decoration. He was laughing and running around the garden at their parents home.

Gao's voice had called out, too. "Lien! Ma made cookies!" His voice was kind and when they saw Lien running their way they were hit with a flurry of flower petals and stems. "Oh no, Lien. Ma is going to be so mad you picked her roses again!" Gao shook his head and Hana started laughing.

~

Lien moaned in the bed as if trying to suppress hiccups from crying. Scrunching his palms on his temples. Why was he remembering all of this now? Where had it gone all those years when he needed it? He was whimpering like a child and no matter how hard he tried his eyes were flooding and tears split down the corners of his eyes, staining the sheets with each drop. His vision was blurry, but he heard the sound of footsteps getting closer to him, and then stopped. He felt a hand on the side of his shoulder. He was being shaken as if to take him out of his emotional state.

He moved his hands away from his face and saw Vitya come into focus as if adjusting a camera lens. Lien went to wipe his tears, but Vitya rose his hand. "Don't." He requested and moved over top of him, his hands at both sides of Lien's head. "You're pretty when you cry." Vitya whispered and Lien looked shocked to hear that. However, he wouldn't complain. It was the first full sentence Vitya had said to Lien since they arrived here. He didn't respond to what Vitya said and he had no need to. The man had leaned in close and kissed where the tears had fallen, kissing Lien's cheek and soon his lips. "Vitya, what are you-?" Lien asked when the kiss ended. "Isn't this what you want, to be loved and needed?" He asked and had begun undoing his his belt.

Lien was beginning to catch onto the tests that Vitya put him through. To prove loyalty and submission to the man. He didn't say anything and instead he used action. He pulled Vitya in close to kiss him again. It happened so fast, how quickly their clothes came off and sharing the bed like lovers do. And yet, Vitya had no love in his heart. His one true love was power and Lien's was Vitya. However, as Lien's legs wrapped around Vitya's thrusting hips and his eyes met the others face. He kept seeing flashes of Feng's face, that foul monster haunted him. Every grunt, touch, and kiss. Lien couldn't distinguish reality from nightmare, he had started to tense up.

"No." He muttered as Vitya continued, "I can't do this." Lien exasperatedly sighed, his expression turning vividly emotional. Why was it that when Lien seemed to have no grip on his self control that made Vitya want him so much more? "Please, Vitya." He was shaking again. 

Of course, Vitya knew exactly how to play this off and would cup Lien's face. "Look at me, Lien. You are safe with me." The man said to Lien as though his words could cure the thorns sprouting in Lien's mind. He felt like he was falling further in love with Vitya, his arms wrapping around his shoulders and moans of passionate affectionate filled the room. It had worked. "Will you let me love you, kotenok?" Vitya persuaded and kissed along Lien's neckline. There was no rejection, Lien nodded his head and kissed the man. Perhaps he could let himself be loved, right?

~

The tomato that narrowly missed Lien's head the day that Peng was teasing him about his smoking habits. He could remember how vibrant the red mush on the pavement was and his cigarette rolling into the street drain. He couldn't remember the last time he smoke, Vitya wouldn't let him. Did it mean that Vitya cared? Or was it that Peng had truly cared about Lien from the start. Why was he remembering that day with Peng now? It couldn't have been significant, they weren't to the market every week.

Lien missed the market with Peng. He was recalling how one time he and Peng had snuck into a local Ma and Pa restaurant that had stinky tofu rather than buying groceries. Peng loved the tofu while Lien hated it, but it always made for a fun time. Peng making all kinds of faces while eating to try and convince Lien that it somehow tasted better this time. It never did, but Peng's theatrics made Lien laugh. Why was he remembering all of this now?

~

Lien's eyes were streaking with tears as he held onto the contorting muscles of Vitya's back as he was fucked. Why had he been crying? He missed home. He missed China and most shocking to him, he missed the way Peng cared about him. No one else in this world other than Hana and Gao had cared that much. Though, maybe his judgement was impaired. He tried to forget about it, that want to go home. It was childish. He noticed how Vitya was nearing finishing. Lien was getting a bit pained by the staggered movements and Vitya was seemingly trying not to be rough, even though Lien knew the man wanted to be.

When they were done, Lien had felt some sort of relief that it was over, and yet he craved that intimacy more. He couldn't quite make sense of it and was in not condition to untangle the inner workings of his troubled soul. And yet, one that he knew for certain was that he hated Sasha. When Lien was brought here from Butterfly Garden, Vitya had decided to keep Sasha and Lien separated. It was rather specific on Vitya's part, separating the two people whose only similarity was that they both are objects of his desire.

Vitya was kissing Lien still even after they'd finish. Lien enjoyed the affection, to be loved like this was to have purpose in this terrible world. "Kotenok, would you fetch me my scotch from the kitchen?" Vitya asked, the man was laying on his back and cooling off. Lien nodded dotingly and had put the sweatpants on, walking out of the room and heading down the midcentury modern aesthetic of Vitya's home. He had reached the liquor cabinet, pouring a glass for Vitya and then poured another for himself. Throwing the shot back and feeling the burn coat his throat.

"You shouldn't drink his scotch. That is his and only his." an effeminate voice sounded from the living room. Lien gripped the glass in his head and slowly turned his head to see Sasha standing there. He was getting irritated just by looking at Sasha. "That's the difference between you and me. You're the whore and I'm the one he loves." Lien spat and Sasha crossed his arms. "You don't actually believe that the man who left you at Butterfly Garden is your soulmate, do you?" Sasha's brows were furrowed, a small wrinkled forming in the center of them.

Lien poured himself more scotch and down it, sucking his teeth. "You have been with him for six years, not as a lover but a toy and you think you have any input? You don't know him like I do." Lien was gripping the glass in his hand tightly. Sasha sighed and shook his head in disbelief, "I was your age when I met him. You don't think I thought the same thing? Wake up, Lien. Before it's too late." Sasha's words were cut off by Lien having launched the glass at him. Sasha moved out of the way and looked over at how the glass shattered against the wall and Sasha turned his head back to see Lien running right towards him.

The two of them tumbled to the ground and Lien was on top of Sasha, straddling him. "I cried for you to help me. And you didn't listen." Lien's eyes looked crazed and full of resentment. Sasha was shocked at how irrational Lien was being, though he wasn't scared. Sasha hit the joint in Lien's arm causing him to fall forward some and Sasha quickly switched their positions, grabbing a shard of glass of holding it up to Lien's throat. "You aren't in China anymore, Lien. Growing up is realizing that you can trust no one. Not me, not even yourself." Sasha pushed the glass further against Lien's neck.

"Do it, cut my throat open." Lien started laughing almost hysterically. Sasha got embarrassed and concerned by that behavior. What had Vitya done to this young man? This wasn't broken, it was a complete fall from grace.