It all happened so fast. One minute Hellen is enjoying some lemonade on the front porch and the next she is holding Negan's bat as he just gutted some guy named Spencer who was trying to overthrow Rick and have Negan do it for him.

She stood breathless as she watched Negan freshly shaven and covered in blood all over his white t-shirt. Spencer had attempted to collect his innards but he died from sock and blood loss quickly after. Negan's men were close by, but a gum shot went off and Hellen dove to the ground.

On high alert Negan watched as his men took down the person who had fired the shot. Hellen's ears were ringing as she felt something on her face. Looking beside her the women who had came over earlier to check up on Judith and Carl, only to find them not there, had been shot in the head right smack dab in the middle.

Hellen knew the bullet had been meant for her.

"Enough! You!"

Negan yelled the intent to kill the person who had just tried to kill Hellen clearly in his tone. But he stopped and looked down at the ground seeing something she couldn't make out. Men rushed to her side to check on her and she took their hands as they went to help her up into her feet.

"These are handmade -- who the fuck made these?"

Negan question catching Hellen's attention. Someone was making bullets? Negan must have known because he sure as hell had seen enough bullets in his last seven years going through his hell.

"Who made these!"

"I did!"

A woman called out. Negan stepped over to her getting right up in her face.

"You?"

He questioned holding the bullet casing in his hand.

"No. No you didn't."

His whisper deadly. Suddenly Rick had come running everything was a blur for Hellen. Rick was begging Negan to not take a man who had stepped forward and explained that he was the one who had made the bullets. Hellen held her head her eyes closed as she toppled over.

"Miss. O'Connor!"

The man said as he went to catch her. Negan's eyes glanced to her, but he staid planted where he was. Watching as his men held onto her as she sank to the ground, the men attempted to walk her down the steps and away from the dead woman beside her.

"Now look at what your men did, Rick. Done scared my girl. I don't appreciate that one bit."

He sneered as Hellen sat on the ground. Her hand on her head as she tried to grasp reality around her. Her breathing calm as she took deep breaths to try and clear her mind. Lucille gripped tightly in her hand as voices and images echoed in her mind.

Next thing she knew she was back in Negan's room. A jolt upward onto her feet and she stumbled.

"Whoa there! You're safe! You're safe, Hellen."

Her body had been caught by Negan's strong arms as he held her there against him.

"What -- what the hell happened? How'd we get here?"

"You had an episode. My men brought you back here. Luckily nobody was hurt."

He said allowing her to hug him. She breathed out, eyes closed. Unable to recall anything much after the fat woman beside her had been shot, Hellen just focused on the sent of Negan.

"It's been months since your last attack. I thought you were getting better."

"I did too."

She said her voice muffled by Negan's shirt. He was without his jacket as he stood in the middle of his room. His boots removed and his belt gone as well. Scarfless and merely in his white shirt, jeans, and socks, Negan felt thin in her arms. He was tall but he was skinny. Not at all like he was when she first met him. His dad body was something to behold, but he slimmed down over the years.

"I'm sorry. I made us look weak."

"Ah shit, baby girl. If anything you made us look extremely strong. You showed those people that if anyone was gonna try to hurt you, we'd all kill em."

He whispered into her hair. Pulling away from him she shook her head.

"Shit I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here tonight. It's one of your wives night ain't it?"

"Well they're just gonna have to be disappointed. I ain't sending you anywhere not after the day you've had."

Hellen looked up at him.

"Now you're just making excuses to keep me around."

She joked but Negan wasn't laughing. Instead he moved his hand over the side of her face and through the back of her hair. His mouth came down over hers hot and slow. Her eyes fluttered close as she kissed him back.

Negan wasn't taking no for an answer when it came to her.

She had staid there two nights in a row. This was becoming a bad habit and people were more than likely going to start talking. The next morning Negan was gone completely from bed which left her to having his room all to herself. She smiled a little feeling the ache between her legs from last night after two rounds of passionate love making had taken place.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed she winced feeling her back sore from the way Negan had bent her almost in half. A blush came to her cheeks recalling that moment.

Getting dressed she headed out. She was probably one of the only Saviors here that didn't use a gun. She couldn't use a gun due to what happened yesterday. Most people wouldn't understand it or even know what had happened if they seen it.

But Hellen had PTSD. No she hadn't been to war it was from past abuse. Past abuse that was always there in the back of her mind.

Another reason why if she were to leave the Sanctuary it was to be with Negan and Negan only. Negan and Simon had learned early on the tragic mental disorder that Hellen had after someone had forced a gun in her face.

She had left the man without a face as Lucille had helped her in his demise. That's when Negan learned just how strong she could be when pushed to her limits -- so he made sure she never had to get to them again.

After she bathed and finished making herself nice for the day Hellen smiled at the reflection in the mirror. She had been looking at herself for a while now and just letting time pass through her fingers. Calm mornings like this were the heat she found.

"You're finally awake."

A gasp slipped from her lips as she jumped. Holding the towel that she had wrapped around her body from the shower. Her clothing laying on the counter beside herself.

"You scared me!"

She snapped from more embarrassment than actual fright. Negan just grinned and walked toward her. Moving behind her, he wrapped his arms around her body.

"I'm wet."

"I know, I'm just that good."

She snorted before bursting out laughing which caused his grin to widen. His hold on her was something. It was protective and warm, welcoming. Everything that she could ever want from someone holding her.

"That wasn't at all what I meant and you know it."

"I know baby."

"You've been calling me "baby" quite a lot here lately."

She mentioned having realised it. Negan looked at her reflection in the fogged up mirror. His bright gaze on hers.

"Well, youre Daddy's little girl aren't you?"

Her ears warmed as she cursed under her breath.

"Where'd you go this morning?"

She questioned changing the subject. Negan's hold fell from her finally and he took to leaning against the sink instead.

"Makin sure Eugene knows the ropes and what's expected of him."

"Eugene?"

"Oh right, you were blacked out for that part. Guy that's gonna be home making us bullets."

"Gotcha. I remember the bullet part after almost having one between my eyes."

If she had been standing just a little bit more to her right, she would have been dead.

"You know I'd never let anything happen to you."

He quickly mentioned. Lowering her gaze she recalled Negan gutting the man in the middle of the street and grinning about it. She shook her head for a second as she ran her hand over her face.

"I know..."

She said trying to shake that vision. That wasn't her Negan. That wasn't the man she had known for almost seven years. That man that gutted a human like a fish, that man was a stranger to her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just trying to remember."

"Don't worry about it. Nothing really important to know except you're safe now."

"Right-o. So imma get dressed and get caught up with today's work."

"Oh no. I don't think so."

Her brows shot up to her hair line. What did he mean by that?

"Wha?"

"You're resting today. Light paperwork and staying inside where I can keep an eye on you."

"I'm not a child. I'm fine."

Negan snorted and ran his hand over her cheek.

"I know, but just fuckin amuse me on this just once? Try and act like I'm the one in charge of shit round here?"

Nibbling on her bottom lip Hellen sighed giving up and letting Negan win -- for once.