Sherry was gone. Daryl was gone. Nobody had any idea what the fuck was going on and this new guy Eugene was an odd ball. Hellen discovered that he loved to talk and sound smart. But little did the man know she was smart too, maybe not his level smart, but she was smart.

She was smart to the point where she had caused Eugene to go silent at one point during their walk to the gates where he would go out to his factory for the day and make his bullets for Negan.

"Don't look so surprised."

Hellen commented seeing the expression on his face when she understood the process of making the bullets that he had been talking about and questioned a way of how to improve his process.

"I'm a smart idiot."

She laughing at her own joke while Eugene just stared.

"Well I wouldn't say that. The fact that you're indifferent is certainly true. But to accuse ones self of being an idiot when clearly they are not is that in itself foolish."

"... You ruined my joke, asshat."

She snorted and walked ahead of him. The man followed behind her quietly until they came to the truck which would be taking Eugene to his little work shop. Once he was loaded up and on board Hellen patted the side of the truck and walked back inside not caring to watch him leave.

"Out for a little walk kiddo?"

Stopping in her tracks she hadn't expected to see Simon. She blinked a bit before shrugging.

"Was taking that guy to the trucks. Eugene? Yeah."

She said trying to recall his name after being so horrible with remembering them in the first place. It took her nearly three months to remember Simon and Negan's names.

"Well, I'm sure he appreciated it. Not every day someone gets to walk with the Queen."

"Not the Queen, Simon."

"No?"

His tone was a teasing type of shocked sounding as he fell into line with her as she walked back to her room. His hands on his hips over his belt as he took step by step beside her.

"Well, coulda fooled me little chica. What with the way you show so much power every time you walk into a room."

"I don't hold power, Simon. It's Negan -- "

"Damn. You really don't see it do you? The type of effect you have on these people here?"

They both stopped walking and Hellen just looked at him. He gave an amusted huff as he scratched his chin.

"You know, when I first met you I didn't think you'd last a week with us. Hell, I was almost sure of it! Fire fighter or not you just didn't seem to be much of a fighter. You didn't know how to use a gun or want to use it. Just that little police baton on your hip there and the knife in your boot."

He paused holding out his hand to motion to everything around them.

"And now you're top dog. Everyone respects you. The kids here love you as do their parents. A handful of men look at you like they'd love to eat you up, someone women too -- but you just don't see it do you?"

"I'm nothing special."

She shook her head and started to walk away.

"That's not what he thinks."

His reply caused her to push forward or else she would have stopped. She knew who Simon was talking about when he said 'he'. It was no secrete to anyone that Negan wanted her and had her whenever he wanted. It wasn't a shock to anyone to see her standing by the bosses side through everything he did.

But what would have surprised them was to hear that even though she had been by his side since day one, she was becoming afraid of what she was seeing happen to him. Negan was slowly starting to become someone other than who she had come to know. Someone who she had so openly given her heart to -- and all that scared her.

She was terrified standing before the council. Most of them she didn't even know their names. There was Michone, Gabriel, and who she believed to be Aaron, but aside from that she didn't know those people.

Everyone looked at her as if she were a wounded animal. As if they were giving her pitty for being the only person to care for a monster like Negan. It was foolish she understood, but there was a reason for why she was here to beg for his life.

"The council has recognized you, Hellen O'Connor, as a speaker who wishes for Negan to live. You have the floor."

Aaron said causing her to nod. She flexed her fingers by her side's before she clasped her hands in front of her.

"I know that you all hate him. I know that he's hurt you, your friends, people you cared deeply for -- "

Hellen said trying to gather her thoughts.

"I can't even begin to ask you to forgive him for it. I know what he did was more than a step too far."

She paused and inhaled deeply.

"I'm not asking for you to forgive him. Im asking you to not be like him."

The council seemed to look at each other from a side glance. This certainly didn't seem to be what they had expected out of Hellen.

"Let him live and be the example Rick Grimes wanted him to be. Let him be the example that people can change like Carl wanted."

"You have no right to say their names."

Michone spat, but Aaron raised his good hand having the woman fall quiet with a deep sigh of anger.

"Please, continue Hellen."

Gabriel spoke which caused the woman to nod her head and exhale deeply. Her hands came apart and started moving a little around her as she spoke.

"You all love your people. You want to keep them safe. You want them to grow and improve. But how can they when they see their leaders killing someone who was granted sanctuary by your leader -- what message does that send? When someone you care about steps out of the picture the first thing you do is dishonor the choices they made?"

"Enough!"

Michone shouted. It was evident that the pain in her eyes told Hellen that she had stepped too far, but she swallowed her fear and continued.

"Through everything that's happened, Negan has kept me safe. This man that you all view as a monster because that's what he's made himself out to be has kept me safe since this all started. If there wasn't a shred of goodness in him, he wouldn't have wasted all this time doing that. I'm not the easiest person to have as a friend, girlfriend, whatever you view me as -- but if he had no chance of changing, he would have left me to die all those years ago in those woods."

Her bottom lip quivered as she quickly wiped her eyes clear of any tears.

"All I ask is that if you feel that you have to kill him -- then you kill us both, because I can't care for myself. Without Negan... I'm already dead."

She said as she lowered her head and continuously wiped her eyes with her hands. She didn't dare look at the council as they looked at her and then to one another.

"That was some speech you gave, Hellen."

Aaron said. His eyes shifting about.

"Some speech."

"The council has heard your testimony, Miss. O'Connor. Now we'll take it to vote."

Her heart was racing pounding in her ears making her feel sick to her stomach as Gabriel spoke.

"All in favor of those who wish for Negan's death."

She kept her eyes on her shoes not watching the hands. She couldn't watch the hands.

"All those in favor of letting him live the rest of his days locked away hoping that some good could someday come of it?"

The silence was killing her. The room spinning. She felt faint.

"The votes have been made. Let it be shown that the motion to spare Negan has been passed 4 to 3."

Her head shot up with a quickness as her mouth dropped. Negan was going to live by one vote. It was one vote that soared his life. Seeing Gabriel looking at her and Aaron, she knew that they had both voted to keep him alive.

"Th-thank you."

She sobbed her tears running free. Aaron seemed sad as he nodded and Gabreil motioned for her to head to the doors of the chapel. Hellen stumbled out the front doors and first thing she did was throw up her anxiety all over the ground.

Inhaling deeply she found herself being light headed. Placing her hand over her mouth she cleaned herself up and headed back home for some much needed rest.