Simon walked up to the front desk in the house and pressed the concierge bell. No one was there. He stood with his expressionless face as he waited for someone to talk to about his new home. He looked at his wristwatch. He said he'd be here to speak with me at this time. He thought. Where the hell is he?

"Ahhhh! If it isn't Mr. Adams!" A jolly sounding old man appeared next to Simon. "I've been expecting you!" He held his hand out for a handshake. Simon shook his hand seldom smiling an extremely faint smile.

"You already know my name is James T. Leonard." The man said. He had a grey mustache and a bald shiny head with white sideburns and a blue shirt with a red vest. "But, please call me Mr. Leonard. I'm the landlord here and the president of the homeowners association. Please do come into my office!" His office was next to the desk. He and Simon walked into the office which was as grey and plain as Mr. Leonard's hairstyle. In there was a bright black desk with a laptop, a coffee mug, and a desk lamp. The desk had two chairs on opposite sides. And, a chair at the back corner of the office. There, sat a teenage boy with a black hoodie covering most of his face.

"So, I assume you're here to collect the key to your new house, kiddo?" Mr. Leonard asked, as he and Simon sat on the chairs at the desk. Simon nodded. He suddenly eyed the teenager sitting at the corner.

"That's my son, Peter." Mr. Leonard pointed out. "Peter, say hi to our new neighbor, won't you?" Peter didn't utter a word. He just sat there staring at his phone. He was almost as quiet as Simon. "Oh, don't mind Peter." Mr. Leonard said. "He's just angry because I said he couldn't go out tonight."

".............." As usual, Simon didn't utter a word.

"Aaaaanyway," Mr. Leonard started, pulling out a stack of paperwork, "before you officially move into your new home, I'm gonna need you to sign these here papers with your signature and we need to test you and see if you're or previously were infected with COVID."

"For the last time, Dad," Peter suddenly spoke up, "this 'COVID' isn't real!! NONE OF THAT SHIT IS REAL!! And, why would he need to do a 'COVID' test if he's just moving into a house in which nobody is in there but HIM??!!!"

"You'd better get your ass together or it's the belt for you, boy!!" Mr. Leonard shouted, pointing at Peter. Peter quieted down. Simon stared at both of them shocked.

"Sorry about that, Simon." Mr. Leonard apologized. "Like I said, he's just cranky. Now, if you don't mind." He lightly nudged the stack of paper and a push pen towards Simon. Simon filled out all the papers in a minute and allowed Mr. Leonard to scan him with an infrared thermometer.

"All righty!" Mr. Leonard said, handing Simon a house key. "Welcome to Tiger's den, Simon! That's the name of the neighborhood as you know."

Simon stood in front of his new house in (sort of) awe. As he walked up to the house. He turned around and saw a car drive up to the house next door. It looked similar to his house. The car door opened and a creature climbed out of it. It was a fox humanoid creature. It had long flowing hair like a lava lamp, a pink crop top, and light pink short shorts. It's stomach also had a lava lamp color to it. It also had four arms.

"Oh, FUCK me!" The creature said to herself. "That was one crazy ass night I'll NEVER forget!" Without eyeing Simon, the fox creature walked into the house calling out, "Hey, Loona, I'm hoooooome!" She closed the door behind her.

What the hell was that thing?? Simon thought to himself out of anxiety and confusion. Was that a fox?!? And, did it talk?!? He hit himself in the head multiple times and walked up to his house and opened the front door with his key. He walked into the house and found himself in his empty living room. The walls were painted brown and the flooring was clear as crystal.

Ring!

A ringtone interrupted Simon. He pulled out his iPhone from his pocket and read a text message, "Will be seeing you soon, Simon." Simon replied back by typing in, "Just got here. Will be coming over tomorrow."

Earlier...

Simon was sitting in his basement in his old home on a worn out rocking chair holding a pistol. Dozens of negative thoughts swarmed in his head.

You're a fucking loser!

You have no one!

Fuck yourself, cuntwad!!

Die, bitch, die!!

You should really kill yourself. Putting you out of your misery will solve everything.

Tears began to form in Simon's already red eyes. He took off his round glasses and aggressively threw them at the wall causing them to shatter like diamonds. He shoved the tip of his pistol onto his head and prepared to pull the trigger.

Knock knock knock!

Knocking on his front door interrupted Simon. He dropped his pistol and ran up the stairs, out of his basement, and flung open his front door. It was his childhood friend, Steven Jasperson.

"Hey, pal." Steven said with a blank expression. "So.... You're really moving out, huh?"

Simon nodded his head sadly.

"Still a silent one too, huh?" Steven asked.

Simon nodded again.

"And, you quit your job too?" Steven asked. "You know what, don't answer that. Besides, I have a better job for you to take when you get to I-Wood." He handed Simon a folded newspaper. Simon unfolded the newspaper and found a teaching job at a college known as I-Wood University.

"..............I can't take this job." Simon finally spoke. "I can't have anything to do with college students. They'll learn nothing from me."

"Sure you can, pal." Steven assured. "It'll help you take your mind off things. Especially with your........."

"Don't........say it, Steven." Simon pleaded, his hand up. "I don't wanna talk about it. It's already screwed everything up for me."

"Okay, okay." Steven said. "But, you really need to take this job. It'll help you pay for your new house and it'll help you mentally too. You're an intelligent man. You've done a buttload of podcasts."

"I don't do podcasts anymore. I retired." Simon sighed.

"Aren't you too young to retire?" Steven asked. "Anyway, please take this job when you get to I-Wood. I promise you you will love it."

Simon stared at the newspaper intensely.

End of flashback...

Simon stared at his phone with seething eyes. His hand trembled and he began gripping his phone.

CRASH!!

He suddenly threw his phone at the window shattering the window, his body full of rage. Then, tears filled in his eyes.

"Fuck!" He muttered. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

He walked outside at the side of his house and picked up his broken phone. He stared at it his face expressionless again. He looked up and saw the sun was getting ready to set.

"For the last time, Bee," A female voice complained, "you can't be breaking into the smoke shop with all those security cameras out! For fuck's sake, you can't be breaking into them at all!"

The fox creature from before walked out of the next door house with another creature. It was a wolf-like humanoid with long grey hair, ear piercings, a dark crop top, and short shorts. Simon watched them as they talked.

"You can't be doing this, Beelzebub." The wolf creature said. "I can't keep bailing you out of prison."

"Oh, come ON, Loona, it's not like I murdered somebody or anything!" The fox creature, apparently named Beelzebub, said. "You really need to chill the fuck out, girl!"

"I am perfectly chill, okay?!" The wolf creature, Loona, exclaimed, as Simon continued watching. "I just can't keep dealing with you breaking into places and getting arrested all the time! I don't think you realize how this is-!" She stopped talking when she noticed Simon watching her and Beelzebub. Beelzebub suddenly noticed it too. Simon held his hand up in embarrassment and walked to his front door.

"Hey, wait!" Loona called out. "Aren't you our new neighbor?" Simon ignored her calls and walked into his house.

"Wait!" Loona called out, but Simon closed the door behind him. Loona and Beelzebub stared at the house and then each other.

"Was that our new neighbor?" Beelzebub asked. "I heard we were getting one of those moving in. But, why the fuck did he ignore ya?"

"I have no idea..." Loona sighed, rolling her eyes.

A few hours later...

Simon brought his last box of stuff from his moving truck into his house. He dropped it to his feet and let out an exhausted sigh. Thank god that was the last of it... He thought to himself. I thought this would never end...

Knock knock knock!

A sudden knocking on the front door interrupted Simon's thoughts. Simon walked up to the front door and cracked it open.

"Hello." Loona said from the other side holding a bundt cake. "You must be Simon. I'm Loona, your neighbor."

Simon did his usual expressionless face staring at her.

"..........May I come in?" Loona asked politely. "I brought you a bundt cake my friend made for you."

Simon stared at her. Then, he closed the door and unlocked it and slowly opened the door remaining with an expressionless stare at Loona.

Simon dragged at chair and placed it in front of Loona, who was sitting on another chair, and sat down with his arms crossed.

"You...certainly got a lot of packages in here, Simon." Loona said awkwardly. "Must've taken a lot of work to bring them in here."

Simon stared at her.

"..........What happened to your window?" Loona asked. "Was there a break in or something?"

"................A bird flew in." Simon replied.

"Oh, you CAN speak!" Loona exclaimed. "That's good, that's really good. For a second, I thought this conversation was gonna get more awkward."

"Yeah, I can speak." Simon said. "But, I don't see a point in doing so."

"Why not?" Loona asked.

".............I don't wanna talk about it." Simon sighed, looking away. "I'm not gonna talk about something that would..........freak me out."

"Oh, that's fine." Loona said, her hands on her lap. "I'm not gonna force you to talk about something you don't wanna talk about. But, if it's something serious, you have to say something."

"Why should I?" Simon grunted.

"Because holding in your problems wouldn't help you at all." Loona explained. "It's better to release your stress than to hold it all in."

"That doesn't sound right at all, kid." Simon grumbled. "And, I'm perfectly fine when I 'hold in' my stress."

"Then, how do you explain the broken window?" Loona asked sarcastically.

"I told you a bird flew in." Simon said.

"Okay, okay. A bird flew in." Loona said, rolling her eyes. "We'll go with that story."

"Whatever..." Simon sighed, getting up from his seat with Loona doing the same and following him. "Anyway, excuse the mess. Didn't exactly get here several months ago." He walked into his kitchen, pulled out a tub of ice cream from the fridge, and set it down on the table with a spoon next to it.

"If you don't mind, I gotta start eating lunch." Simon said, opening the ice cream tub, scooping out some ice cream, and stuffing it in his mouth. Loona stared in disgust and disbelief.

"Want some?" Simon asked flatly.

"Uhh, no thanks." Loona said.

"Suit yourself." Simon said, continuing to stuff ice cream in his mouth. "Now, if you you'll excuse me, I have a lot to do today. Please show yourself out the door."

"Oh..." Loona said sadly. "....Okay. See you later, I guess..." She walked to the front door and exited the house. Simon began to feel bad.

A few hours later...

The moon began to rise and Simon jumped in the shower and later put sweat pants on and jumped onto his bed. He didn't fall asleep. He just stared at his ceiling with his blank expression.

Guess I shouldn't have been rude to that wolf girl.. Simon thought. Or was she a hellhound. I'm pretty sure those two animal creatures came from hell.

"Pancakes!!" A voice called out from outside. "Pan-motherfucking-caaaaaaaakes!!!"

Simon jolted from his bed and looked out the window. No one was there. But, he continued to stare out into the darkness. What the fuck was that??? He thought, shocked. Am I hearing things?!??

"Pancakes, pancakes, PANCAAAAAAAAAKESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!" The voice screamed, causing Simon to slam his hands onto his ears. Then, suddenly, everything quieted down.

"Okay, whoever the hell you are," Simon called out, "you better knock it the hell off or I'll call the cops!" The sound remained quiet.

Maybe I should take my medicine. Simon thought, as he grabbed his medicine bottle, pulled out a pill, and swallowed it without any water. Then, he jumped onto his bed sighing a loud sigh.

Christ, when will they go away?? He thought anxiously.

An hour later...

Time passed by and Simon remained sleeping on his bed.

"Whoa, what?!" Simon cried in his sleep. "Look out!! Look out, run!! LACYYYYYYYY!!!!"

Simon found himself in a round room with dim lights. He frantically turned around repeatedly.

"Hello?!" He cried out. "Where are you?! You can't hide from me! We're all here for you!!"

"Siiiiiiimmmmooooooooonnnnn!!!" A shrill voice screamed. "Siiiiiiiimmmmooooonnnnnn!! Want some motherfucking browwwwwwwwwwnnnieeeeessssss???!!!"

"Get out of my fucking head!!!!" Simon screamed, hitting his own head repeatedly. He started running through the tube like room while constantly hitting his head, screaming, "Shut up, shut up, SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!!!!"

"All yooooour faaaaaaaaaaauuulllllt...." The voice grew quieter. "All yyoooooooooouuuuuurrr ffaaaaauuuult.."

Simon stopped dead in his tracks.

"Allllll your ffffffaaaaaullllllllt...." The voice repeated.

"Gaaaaaahhhh!!!" Simon screamed, jumping out of his bed. He repeatedly panted like a dog, sitting up on his bed. "What the fuck is happening?!" He cried. "Am I losing my mind?!"

The next morning...

The sun slowly began to rise and Simon remained on his bed. Though he was sleeping, he had thoughts about last night swarming in his head.

Christ, what is happening to me?! He thought. Why isn't my damned medication helping me?! Is this gonna happen to me for the rest of my-?!

"🎶BEAT IT, BEAT IT, BEAT IT, BEAT IT!!!!!🎵🎵🎶🎶"

"AAAAHHH!!!" Simon screamed, as he fell off his bed. He got up and yelled, "What the hell is that noise?!!" He realized the music was coming from next door. He jolted up and ran down the stairs and out the door and saw next door that Beelzebub, who was wearing a bikini top, was cleaning her car while listening to Michael Jackson music.

"Hey!!" Simon called out. "HEY!! HELLOOOOO?!"

Loona suddenly came out from the house and immediately turned off the music.

"Loona, what the hell?!" Beelzebub snapped, dropping her cleaning supplies. "I was listening to that!"

"Bee, what the hell are you DOING?!" Loona cried. "You're gonna wake up the whole fucking neighborhood! Will you PLEASE not play your music so loudly?!"

"Oh, come ON, it's like the best thing about waking up in the morning!" Beelzebub explained. "YOU should be thanking me, girl. And, besides, it's a habit."

"Well, your 'habit' just woke up Simon!" Loona snapped, pointing at Simon, who was also pissed off. And, Beelzebub could clearly see it.

"Oh, heeeeyyyy!" Beelzebub said happily, walking towards Simon. "You must be our new neighbor! It's a pleasure to fuckin' meet you! Name's Beelzebub! But, you can just call me Bee!" She held out one of her hands for a handshake. Still peeved, Simon reluctantly held out his hand and Beelzebub shock his hand rapidly.

"Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa!" Simon exclaimed, as Beelzebub shook his hand.

"It's REALLY nice to meet you, man!" Beelzebub said, her hands on her hips. "Things were getting SO fucking boring in this neighborhood until you showed up!" She tilted her heads at Loona's direction causing Loona to make a sour look.

"So, what brings you to I-Wood Cove, Simon?" Beelzebub asked with a smile on her face. Simon, as always, didn't respond.

"Uh, helloooooooo?!" Beelzebub said, waving one of her hands at Simon's face. "Don't you speak?"

"He spoke to me yesterday, remember?" Loona said. "And, he's not much of a talker. So, PLEASE give him time, will you?"

"Oh, I see." Beelzebub said. "You're the strong but silent type. I like that."

"Well, as you can see, I'm not strong at all." Simon corrected. "I mean, look at me. I couldn't beat up a baby."

"Oh, NOW you're speaking." Beelzebub said. " And, just because you're skinny, doesn't mean you're not strong. Oh, and by the way, NEVER think about beating up a baby! Babies are CUTE!"

"It was just a comment." Simon said. "Look, WHY are you playing loud music at this time?? It's too early for this."

"I see Loona's buzzkill rubbed off on you already." Beelzebub joked, causing Simon to make an annoyed expression. "Aaahh! I'm kidding! She's no fun, but she's not contagious!"

"........Look, I need to go and get ready for my new job." Simon said. "It's early and all, but I need to be there whether it's early or not."

"Okay, well, have a good-!" Beelzebub said, but Simon just walked off back into his house. "Nice to meet you again!" Beelzebub called out, causing Loona to facepalm herself.