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Comment Contest Results

A few weeks ago we set a challenge, 2,000 characters or less about the events of what happened at a midnight swim. The prompt was in honor of the new subgenre account, talesofthedeep, and we were hoping for some creative answers...

But you all did more than give creative answers, you brought in magic, danger, and, in some cases, scared us silly! 

After much deliberation and countess rereads of all of the fabulous entries, without further ado, here are the five entries we picked! In random order, you can find their entries and their usernames! 


writervid

"Let's go skinny dipping, Uma," he whispered. His lips quirked into a smile, and my knees felt weak. God, this boy was going to be the death of me.

"My parents will kill me," I said as his lips met mine. The kiss was hot and soft, and my skin prickled with goosebumps as his hand slipped under my shirt--an even more daring option than the one already proposed. I pushed away.

An hour later, I was on the beach, watching Sam run into the waves. The salty sea breeze swept around my body.

"C'mon, Uma!" Sam hollered before diving back into the sea like a dolphin. "At least undress!"

I carefully disrobed, trying to calm myself down. Everyone did it. It was just swimming naked. I would be fine. My parents wouldn't ground me for doing something teenagery. I would be fine.

I ran into the freezing ocean, scurrying like a sand crab. Sam whooped and whistled, making me blush. I laughed, doing dives into the waves like we did on the synchronized swimming team. I even successfully did a somersault underwater, despite the constant push-pull motion of the waves.

My head poked up out of the water. "I told you I could do a somersault, Sam," I said, looking around. All I could see were the barely illuminated waves. My heart hammered in my chest. "Sam?"

No answer. I counted the seconds until over two minutes had passed. He could only hold his breath for one. "Sam!"

After calling his name for a while, I walked out of the ocean. I needed to call someone. If Sam was missing, Sam needed to be found.

I dressed hurriedly, pulling my phone out of my shorts pocket. I scanned the waves and the shore with the light on my phone, but the only things I could see were his jeans, his Journey t-shirt, something that looked like meat on the beach, and something reddish atop the waves.

I walked towards the meat object, praying for Sam's safety. But when I saw it, I froze.

It was a...a hand. The same shade as his skin. Wearing the same bracelet he always wore.

That was when I began to scream.

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_Palen 

... The water turned white.

Lilah didn't have time to blink before the waves crashed around her like glowing beacons of mist. She sank beneath the surface, the currents taking her away from shore. She struggled and gasped, only to realize she could breathe... under water?

Her eyes burst open in surprise, then blinked to adjust to the bright lights of the surrounding water. How could she see through salt water? Wouldn't it burn?

It didn't.

Her eyes darted back and forth, widening when she realized it wasn't a light, but a glow. Surrounding her were hundreds, if not thousands, of jellyfish. Their glowing bodies danced in a seductive rhythm, tentacles reaching then retreating with every stroke.

Lilah couldn't tear her eyes away. One began to approach, and her hand unconsciously rose to allow its fluffy little arms to tickle her palm. It didn't sting.

She pushed up with her hand and the animal floated, carried by the light current towards the others.

Something moved beyond them, a shadow of a man perhaps, drifting like a predator behind their dancing bodies. Lilah frowned, moving towards the shadow.

The light began to fade.

Lialah couldn't breathe anymore.

The water darkened once more, and she kicked against the currents to rise to the surface.

The shore was gone. In its place was nothing but a dark horizon, and the fin of a fish flicking over the waves.

Or was it the figure of a man floating before the light of the moon?


-------

LoveIsPatient_

I stood there, waiting, as time flowed through my fingers.

The moon reflected in the ripples of the ocean, wavering with the waves as froth came about from the ocean, spreading onto the sand. The dark sky was lighter than my soul and was speckled with millions of dust from the heavens.

The black waters washed around my feet, brushing sand and debris against my skin. As usual, I could hear the voices of the past, calling out to me. I crouched down, running my fingers through the waves. Screams and agony came rushing through, staining my hand with left over traces of blood.

Suddenly, a round of laughter sounded in the air and for a moment, something jerked inside of me. But then it was gone, replaced by destiny and cruel fate.

A splash came next and I turned, taking my first step in the sandy shores. As my feet hit the ground with each moment, the plants that had bloomed naturally on the sand shriveled up and disintegrated into nothing but a pile of ashes.

I lifted my eyes, slowly. They met a girl, swimming in the ocean, and a boy, who waited for her on the shore. I stood there, watching, almost hesitant, but that itself is a cruel joke. I stepped deeper into the ocean, feeling the water prick at my skin as it rose to my waist. I went to approach the girl and she turned around, noticing me for the first time. Opening her mouth, she went to ask who I was, but before she could, my magic exploded, sucking the life out of her body. The waters around me turned into a darker black as I watched her float on the surface. A wave pushed her to the shore and into the arms of the awaiting boy.

I turned around, ignoring his scream as he cried out. I didn't bother hiding. He wouldn't see me. They never did. Only those who entered noticed me.

Besides, it was their fault for not obeying. Because just before entering these parts, lay a warning. A warning that made the decision between life and death.

Death's Lake Ahead. Trespassers will pay.


------

GhostQueen2187

Night surfing was always one way to have fun. It was never the smartest idea, but that never bothered Nala.

"Come on, Rayna. Hurry up." Nala ran into the water carrying her surfboard.

I followed.

...

After an hour of surfing and messing around, Nala and I casually sat upon our surf boards. Despite the night, I was warm. I looked at Nala while she was relaxing. Her tribal tattoo round her shoulder caught my eye. Intricate thick and thin swirls, and beautiful patterns of waves decorated her skin.

"Have you ever heard of the sea goddess, Namaka?" Nala snapped me out of my thoughts. I watched her stare at the Big Island.

"No, tell me." I said curiously.

Nala leaned onto her board and with a smile she began her story.

"There were two sisters, Pele and Namaka. Pele was the goddess of fire and Namaka was the goddess of the sea, and because of their differences they would fight. Pele tried to live on the Hawaiian Islands, but Namaka would always cast tidal waves to destroy them. Finally, Pele had enough and summoned all her fires to fight Namaka. Namaka challenged it and created the largest tidal wave she could to clash into Pele's fire. Pele was knocked down and disappeared."

"Did she die?" I leaned forward, completely entranced by Nala's tale.

"Nope." I let out a sigh of relief. "On top of a large volcano, Pele appeared and forced Namaka to stay away. Everyone rejoiced and lived with her. Guess what volcano she used."

Nala nodded forward and I looked toward the island. The Mauna Loa.

"Wow. So what happened to Pele after?" I asked.

Nala shrugged. "I don't really know. Maybe she's waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

Nala looked at me with a sly smile. "Round Two, perhaps. Isn't that right ... Pele?"

My heart stopped briefly, but I just sighed and dropped my act. I smirked at her. "It's been a while ... Namaka. Good luck."

Far off on the island, dark clouds formed over the Mauna Loa and rumbling could be heard all around the island. Hell was about to break loose.


-------

wisteriaflower

Trying not to shake, I stare down at the water, thirty feet below. This should be easy. Just one jump, one bitty little jump off the end of the pier and I'll truly be a member of the elite, award winning SHS varsity swim team. Finally have a chance to live up to Mom's underwater legacy.

Before I can back out, I step back, taking a running start and leaping over the chain, off the edge. The fall seems to stretch on for an eternity, certainly longer than I've ever been in mid air, before the waves envelope me.

I let myself sink for a while longer, relishing the smooth feel of the water on my skin. Despite sneaking out of my house at midnight to illegally jump into freezing ocean waters, I can't help but feel warm and bubbly. I am a swimmer, and the water is my home. Ready to face the seniors, I start to kick up.

Except I don't. It takes a moment to realize that my legs aren't working anymore. They've gone numb all over and refuse to move when I try to kick, or even treat water. Instinctively, I open my mouth to scream. It fills with salty water, burning all the way down my throat. This was stupid. Swim team wasn't worth it. Not worth dying.

That's when I feel a strong arm clamp down on my wrist and pull me forcefully up. Panicked, I open my eyes. For a moment, I can't comprehend what I'm seeing. It's...

A tail. A bright orange fish tail; a beam of sunlight cutting through the water.

My head breaks the surface and all my focus is on breathing. I inhale huge gulps of air, gasping. Once I've caught my bearing, I realize that I'm staring straight into the eyes of the team captain. Remembering what I saw, I look down under the water and am shocked to see that my eyes weren't tricking me. She really does have a tail.

On impulse, I look down at myself and realize that my legs have been replaced with a sleek silver fin, not unlike hers. Trembling, I open my mouth to scream when another firm hand covers my mouth from behind.

"Welcome home, sister."

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Thank you again to all those who entered and congratulations to our five picks! We had a great time reading them all and we can't wait to do something like this again. 

What about you guys? Did you have fun? Do you think we should do something similar again?

Let us know in the comments! 

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