Hi everyone, SK here.

Valerie has made it to the last stage, Time.  What will this stage be like, and will she make it through unscathed?

Without any further adieu, let's get Val's first test finished up shall we?  I hope you enjoy this chapter.  IT IS VERY LONG SO FAIR WARNING.  (Around 13K words.)

!!! WARNINGS: Bad language, violence, death, other trigger warnings (references to suicide and r*pe) -- i.e. do NOT read this chapter if you do not handle mature material or are easily triggered, if you would like to see how the first of Val's Queen's tests end, skip to after you see one of the images you saw last chapter (the one with the sacrificed Spirit Soldiers) but with Leaf on it.  Past that point will be safe to read. --

(Yes I know wow Val had some great past lives didn't she)

P.S. There's references to a dream.  If you want a clue, what's the chapter that has 'Dream' in its title?

Valerie

"I love you, that's why."  Leaf's spirit approaches me.  "We all do, that's why we all did this."

"But I-"

"I don't care what you did," she interrupts, a heartfelt smile on her face.  "I know you, I know the person you are inside, and that person is the person I want to spend forever with.  That person and all of her friends."

My eyes begin to water even more.  "I..."  What do I say to that?  I know I'm not the person she thinks I am, but there must be a reason why she is going to sacrifice herself, right?

Leaf opens her arms.  "Hug?"

"Hug."  I don't hesitate to rush into her arms and hold her close.  Maybe this is why I wasn't upset over Leaf dying, part of me knew that I would see her again deep inside even though my conscious mind didn't know yet.  All of a sudden a whoosh! noise sounds, and the portal leading to the last stage opens up.

My best friend looks at me, a determined smile on her face.  "You made it this far, let's finish this."

I take her hand, the pain that I'm in being pushed to the back of my mind.  "Absolutely."  We jump through together, and Leaf even laughs as the air rushes past us like we were on a rollercoaster.

When we land, I glance around in confusion.  This stage, unlike the others, is blank.  It's not like the Darkness stage when it was black and we were blinded, this one I can see just fine.  It's just... grey.  That's it.  

Footsteps sound as Calem approaches us- well, me.  I can only assume that Leaf is still standing by me, because during the test stages I don't have access to my Spirit powers to be able to see her.  

I'm still in disbelief that she did this for me.

The Time Spirit Soldier, soon to be former Time Spirit Soldier, has a tiny smile plastered on his face when he comes close.  "So, you've made it to the final stage, are you ready to finish?"

"Oh boy am I," I say sarcastically with an exasperated laugh.  "Now what physically-taxing thing do I need to do in this stage?"

Calem pats down his blue jacket.  "This stage, unlike the others, will not be physically taxing... that doesn't mean that it won't be difficult."

"What do we have to do?" questions Leaf's voice from somewhere close to me.

"This is the Time stage.  You and Leaf will be travelling through your past memories.  There will be two versions of the memory you will have to enter and relive, but one of them will have a slight variation which will make it false.  You must select the version of the memory that is true in order to travel to the next memory test."

"This seems... almost too simple," I admit to him, because it really does seem simple after I've just climbed a mountain with Red.

Calem's mild look turns into a hard one.  "There is a consequence of course.  If you select the wrong one, instead of being teleported to the next test, you will be teleported to a black abyss where you will spend the rest of your days before you die."

I gulp.  Yeah, I knew it was too good to be true.  This is the last stage after all.  

"The memories will start with recent events and will progress backward.  There is one thing to note, though, that's just specific to you."

"What is it?"  Is this going to get even more stressful somehow?

The Spirit Soldier averts his gaze.  "You lived multiple lives, Valerie, meaning that your memory tests will stem from those lives as well."

My stomach drops.  "But I have no memory of those lives!"

"Exactly," agrees Leaf in a huffy tone.  "How is she supposed to pass the test if she literally has no way of remembering?  This isn't fair, Calem!"

"You'll have help," he reminds me.  Calem snaps his fingers and two Pokemon fade into view behind him.  "Dialga and Celebi will help you if you need clues."

I'm about to say something else to protest when I notice how shaken the fairy-winged Pokemon looks.  "Celebi, are you okay?"

"Lance captured me, so my time here is limited- I'll be taken away if he summons me out of the Pokeball he trapped me in."  The Mythical Pokemon almost sounds apologetic as I look on in horror.  Lance.  Goddammit.

"Then that's all the more reason to start quicker," announces Calem with an alarmed tone.  He glances at me.  "You both ready?"

"Yes."  Leaf and I say it in unison, but she sounds a lot more... confident than I am.

"Then good luck."

Calem disappears and the grey around us begins to change colour; it's like a billion tiny scales flipping and shifting their hues.  With a sweep of magic the scenery around us changes, and I go to stand beside Dialga and Celebi.

"What do you think the first memory is?" Leaf inquires, sounding deep in thought.

"I honestly have no idea," I reply as the memory finishes setting itself up.  Leaf and I find ourselves in a very familiar location... our school.

"Looks like the first one is from this life," she observes.

"Wait, Leaf, did I ever tell you about me having lived multiple lives?"

Her little chuckle is music to my ears.  "I honestly can't remember, but so much shit has happened that it just makes sense."

I laugh an actual genuine laugh, but it stops as I see younger-Valerie step into the scene.  She steps into the cafeteria quietly with younger-Leaf, both girls clearly trying to avoid being picked on.  Under her right arm, freshman-Valerie carries some rolled up posters that I can only assume are posters for the then-under-development Myths Club.  

"Do you remember this?"

"Yeah..." my reply to Leaf trails away as I watch what's happening.  

The girls go to sit down but some jerks walk by and, with a flick of their wrists, flip their trays of food so that it splatters all over them and their posters.  "Stupid fantasy nerds," they tease, their laughter fading with them as they go off to (probably) torment someone else.  Younger-Valerie and younger-Leaf sullenly walk to a round, empty table, not bothering to go back for more food because they don't want it to happen again.  Younger-Valerie rolls out the posters she was carrying on the table, and she looks like she's about to cry as she sees that spattered spaghetti sauce has ruined Leaf's sketch of Celebi.  I wince as the memory comes back in my mind, that was not a pleasant day to be either of us.

Out of the corner of my eye I spot the rest of our friends- Nate, Rosa, Hilda, Hilbert, Brendan, Ethan, Kris, and Calem- approach our table with full trays of cafeteria food gripped tightly in their hands.  A loud whooshing noise rings out as the scene begins to split into two; it looks kind of like how a cell duplicates itself through mitosis.  

Both Leaf and I remain silent as the situation begins to play out differently on both sides.

On the left, Calem and co. ask us if we need help with our posters, and when the younger versions of us answer yes, they proceed to dump their food trays on us and bounce away cackling.  Younger-Valerie and younger-Leaf just sit there at the table with blank looks in their eyes, and the former begins to cry a little bit.

On the right, Calem and co. ask us if we need help with our posters too, and we of course answer yes.  All eight of them offer to split their lunches with us to compensate for the fact that we had none, and the whole group begins to happily talk about Celebi and what the posters were originally for.  Younger-Valerie shyly explains what she wants to do with the Myths Club as both scenes fade to grey.  Two silver doors appear on each side, and I realize that I have to make a choice.

"Well this is an easy one," says Leaf's voice.  "Obviously it's the one where they didn't bully us, because that for sure never happened."

"This is almost like the tutorial," I joke, "because after this I have a feeling that the memories will start coming from lives I can't remember, and you won't be able to help me either."

"But that is why we are here," reminds Dialga in a very low-pitched voice.  I jump when it speaks because I was so mesmerized with the scene playing out in front of me I sorta forgot that they were even there in the first place.

"True," I say absently, and head for the door on the right.  It doesn't take much for me to push it open, and all of us walk through.  An almost shimmery sound rings out when the door disappears behind us, and we enter yet another grey area.  I heave a sigh of relief that we made the right choice, even though said right choice was very, very obvious.  

Almost instantly the scales begin to shift colours again, just like they did for the sub-stage we just came from.  This time we find ourselves in a much darker area that looks to be a hallway of some sort.  The walls are paneled in a beautifully grained wood that was stained a dark reddish brown, the planks stretching from the baseboards to the crown molding.  It becomes clearer as the two Pokemon, Leaf, and I walk down this corridor that there was a lot of money spent on this place.  Everything from the red velvety carpets lined with gold tassels to the crystal chandeliers hanging from the arched ceiling.  

Is this where a past version of me lived?  Is this her house!?  What- how did she make so much money?

We near the end of the very elegant hallway when muffled voices can be heard: a younger-sounding girl and a deep male voice that is clearly coming from a much older man.  

Instantly my gut instinct kicks in, and it isn't good.  I haven't even listened to what they're saying but I have a feeling that something isn't right.

Our little group locates the source of the voices behind a closed door, and I subsequently press my ear against said door to try and hear what they're saying.  My stomach drops when I hear the fear in the girl's tone and the sense of domination that I can get from the man's.

It also takes me a moment to realize that this girl is me, well, Past Me #1 anyway.

"Please," she whimpers.  "Stop it."

"This is easier if you don't talk, Little Miss," replies the gruff voice of the man.  

"My name is Lisa, not-"

"I said," I gaze wide-eyed at the door as I hear a snap followed by a scream, "don't talk."

The tension in my shoulders hikes up.  "I need to go see what he's doing to her," I tell Leaf and the two Pokemon.  "Don't follow me, this is for me to do only."  Leaf's voice is quiet but understanding when she replies with a quick "okay", and both Dialga and Celebi nod their heads at me.

Fingers shaking, I curl them around the ornate handle of the solid oak door and slowly creak it open.  I only push it open just enough so I can get through, and I do so with my back to whatever is happening inside this room.  The door closes with that classic creaking noise followed by a small click, and I turn to face what...

What...

My eyes widen.

"STOP!" I scream, running up to the man who is forcibly kissing Past Me #1 while she just cries, tears rolling down her cheeks and soaking the snow white bedsheets.  "STOP FUCKING TOUCHING HER!"

 But of course, neither of them can hear nor see me, and I am forced to watch this memory that is apparently real come back to life.  

He has her tied to the bed with rough rope that is leaving red marks on her skin, and what I can only assume are her clothes are shredded in a pile in the corner of what I'm guessing is this guy's bedroom.  So he must own this place, I think bitterly.  He can always get her new clothes if he wants.  Although, when I walk up to the pile of wasted fabric, it's clear that the clothes he was forcing her to wear were very... revealing.

I have no idea how she ended up here, maybe she was kidnapped, maybe this guy was her only family and he turned on her- which, if that is true, then that just makes this even more sickening- or maybe something else I don't know.

All I can say is that I'm glad I don't have any clear memories of this, although now I'm going to live with the memory of seeing a version of me being sexually assaulted.

Out of the blue, just like in the first stage, the loud whoosh! rings out again as this memory begins to split into two.  "Valerie!?" Leaf calls out, probably wondering if she should come in.

"I've got it," I call back, not wanting her to see this.  Once the scene fully splits the guy begins talking to Past Me #1 again.

"When I'm finished with you," he hisses in the scene's first variant, "put on the clothes that I picked out for you, clean my kitchen, and seduce me with that lovely flute playing of yours."

Sick, I think disgustedly, then watch as the same exact thing plays out on the right except he asks for her lovely tin whistle playing instead of the flute.  Almost at once after he asks her that, without me being able to catch her reply, the scales return to their neutral grey and two doors come into existence.  Since the walls are now gone, Dialga, Celebi, and I'm assuming Leaf too come up to me.

"What'd you see?" she asks curiously, although I think she understands exactly what was going on thanks to me screaming at that guy.

"It doesn't matter," I say quickly.  "The difference was that he asked her to play her the flute in one, and asked her to play the tin whistle in another.  It's so random, how do I pick the right one!?"  I glance at Dialga and Celebi.  "Help?"

"It will come to you in a dream," says the Temporal Pokemon vaguely.

Yes, that's very helpful Dialga, because I definitely have time to sleep right now.  "How is that supposed to give me a hint?" I protest, feeling frustrated.

Leaf's voice is really close to my ear when she speaks.  "Maybe you've had dreams about it before?" she suggests.  "Although, most people forget their dreams so-"

"No no, you have a point," I tell her quickly, my train of thought taking a different turn.  I try to recall that one night I slept with August, one of my first nights in the Colony.  I'd come to him because I had a bad dream...

Suddenly it clicks.

Those girls in the dream.

Same hair.

Probably same eyes too.

They were me.

They were my past selves.

THERE'S my clue!

Rapidly I try to recall anything, anything at all, that can relate to this life.  I heave a sigh of relief when I remember that at the end of the dream I saw a girl who whimpered in fear when an older man asked her to dance and play the tin whistle.  That has to be this life, which means...

"The right door is the correct path ahead," I say confidently.  "The path where he asked Past Me #1 to play the tin whistle is right."

"Okay, then let's go!" Celebi chirps, zooming toward the door.  The Time Travel Pokemon opens the door for me and goes through.  My anxiety returns for a brief second as I follow it, but it quickly disappears when I'm met by a sea of grey instead of a sea of black.

"I wonder what your next life will be like?" Leaf ponders, her voice sounding extremely curious.

I just hope it's a lot better than the last one, I think as the scales begin to change colours again.  This time, we find ourselves on a fairly busy street, although I can tell that we're not in any kind of city.  The roads aren't asphalt, they're paths of cobblestone but with the lane lines marked out in white paint like normal.  Just the general atmosphere of this place screams small rural town, and I must admit it's quite a lovely street.  Lots of tiny boutiques and little cafés and other stores of the sort line it.  

"Hey look in the window, it's a You!"

"That sounds weird," I respond to Leaf's observation with a small laugh.  "But what window?"

"The one directly behind you!" she exclaims.  If I could see her, she'd probably be aggressively pointing at the window by now.

I turn behind me, and indeed a girl with hair the same shade as mine has it tied up in a hair net as she is working behind the counter kneeding a dough of some sort- maybe bread dough, but what kind I wonder?  Glancing up, I spot the sign for this place.  

"Erin's Pastries in Pastels", it reads.

"Go inside," Celebi suggests, and I hurry in.

Past Me #2, who I can only assume to be Erin, is working hard behind the counter.  Her little setup is actually quite pretty, at the front of the little bakery there are freshly baked goods like various kinds of bread, croissants, cupcakes, cannolis, cakes, you name it.  All of the baked goods have something special though, they all have some way pastel colours are woven into them; the cupcakes are iced in pastel icing, the chocolatines have a white chocolate pale blue drizzle on top, a loaf of sandwich bread has pastel stripes on its crust.  I guess that's where the Pastels part of her place's name comes from, I reason.

At the back there are aisles, not many though, where people can pick up even more baked goods to purchase.  There are even tables where I can only presume that people can order to eat here.

I look around, there's literally only her in this store.  She looks to be in her mid-thirties if I were to guess, and although she has a smile on her face, Past Me #2 looks super tired.  Well if I had to run a bakery by myself, I'd be tired too- I laugh inwardly.  I guess I did run a bakery by myself, technically, didn't I?

"Valerie, pay attention!" Leaf whines at me as I find myself getting too focused on Past Me #2's well-being.  But she's right, I do need to start paying attention, because the scene starts to split into two just as another customer walks into the store.  Both of the variants of Past Me #2's eyes light up as they spot said customer, probably their friend or something.  The scene on the left plays first.

"How're you doing?" asks the customer as Past Me #2 goes to take a tray of mini muffins out of one of her ovens.  "It's been a while since we talked, I know you needed space, but I wanted to come see you in your new life."

The girl that looks exactly like me laughs.  "Sorry Jazz, I should've called you sooner.  I'm doing okay- well, a lot better than when I was with Lucas at least."

Jazz smiles sadly at her friend (well, assuming they're friends anyway).  "You don't have anyone else here with you?"

"No, I told you I needed to get away from everyone that I knew, I needed to start a new life for myself, just for myself."  Past Me #2 sounds a little irritated as if she's said this to Jazz before but her friend didn't listen.  She then shakes her head, and gives Jazz a little smile.  "But don't worry, it looks like I'm alone, but I'm not.  I have neighbours, and good friends like you who check on me even when I go no-contact."

Jazz smiles.  "I'm happy for you," she says warmly.  "But, I want to try my friend's baking for myself.  Can I order a Pastel Cup?"

"I want a Pastel Cup," Leaf says longingly and I snicker.  The first scene begins to fade though, s I so I shift my eyes to the second one.

"How're you doing?" asks Jazz as Past Me #2 goes to take a tray of mini muffins out of one of her ovens. "It's been a while since we talked, I know Lucas keeps you busy."

Past Me #2 roughly tosses the tray on the counter which causes Jazz to jump a little.  The sound makes me jump too.  "Erin?"

"He makes me do everything here!" she shouts frustratedly.  Good thing there are no other customers in the store right here.  "I make all the bread, all the cupcakes, every single thing and he just sits upstairs and browses Pokéflix all day long and does absolutely nothing.  The name of this place makes sense, because it's LITERALLY JUST ME DOING SHIT AROUND HERE!"

"Babe?" a distant male voice calls out to Past Me #2 and she freezes, a sudden fear coming into her eyes.  "Everything okay?"  The voice grows slightly more menacing.

"Yes, everything's okay, I just dropped a tray of muffins and I got frustrated," she calls back in a silky smooth voice.  

"'kay," is all we hear from Lucas before he disappears yet again.

Jazz looks at her friend wide-eyed.  "You need to get rid of him!  Divorce him!"

"I can't," says Past Me #2 tearfully.  She actually does look like she's about to cry.  "I wanted to open a bakery, that was my dream, so we did it through his parents because of their money.  If I break up with him, since they legally own this place because I haven't paid off my debt to them yet, they'll sell it.  I can't give up my dream, I just can't."

"Is there anything I can do?" Jazz asks in a small voice.

"I think I need to be alone," replies Past Me #2 in a woeful tone.  "But thanks for stopping by, Jazz."

Jazz pauses for a bit, trying to take everything in that she just heard.  "N-No problem."

And just like that, both scenes fade to grey, but I already know which one is the correct exit.  I confidently head toward the left door, the door belonging to the version where Past me #2 divorced her husband.

"How are you so sure?" asks a shocked-sounding Leaf, probably confused as to how I reached my conclusion that quickly.

"She also appeared in a dream I once had," I explain. "When I saw her, she was alone, still working hard, but she was happy.  There was no way she could be happy being married to a person like that, so she must have divorced him at some point."

"I guess that's one way to a happy ending," Leaf remarks as she gets close- I can tell because her voice is getting gradually louder.  "Guys are overrated anyway."

I laugh as I push open the door, the two Pokemon still following us.  "We both have boyfriends."  My hand pauses for a split second before I continue- August.  Is he a blip, or is he someone special?

The problem is, I can't tell.

Because he'll always be special to me, even if the future doesn't see him as such.

Either way, I need to save him.  I need to tell him that I was wrong for the words I said that day, but I also deserve an apology for his demands too.  We were both wrong.  I see that now, if I hadn't already before.  

"...ve got a point," Leaf is saying when I tune back into reality, laughing herself.  The four of us step through yet another door into a world of grey.  I've only done this a couple times but it's already becoming routine.  I'm just glad, I think as the scales begin to change colour, that the last stage is not something physical and I didn't have to, I don't know, fight a blackhole or something.

When the grey hue gains new colours, we find ourselves on yet another street- although this one is different, it's clearly a bustling city street.  Something I'd have seen in Wyndon if I ended up going there for my undergrad.  Large crowds of people are walking past us, all encompassed in their phones or other aspects of their clearly busy lives.  However, unlike the other memory tests, I can't spot my past self right away.

"Do you guys see a past me anywhere?" I ask while I turn my head back and forth to search.

"Let's look around," Leaf suggests.  "I don't thinks she's out on the street anywhere, maybe she's in one of the buildings?"

Well, the building we're standing in front of right now is an office building, and I unless Past Me #3 is working in there, I don't want to climb what seems to be fifty floors of boring cubicles unless I have to.  There's an alley between this building and the next one, which looks like... another office building.  Great.  Just great.  Do they just make up the entire street!? I think irritatedly as I step past the alley that actually goes pretty far back.

"Wait!" Leaf's voice sounds much farther away because at this point, I'm past the alley.  "Your past self- she's here!"

What is she doing at the back of an alley!?  I think as I return to where I'm assuming Leaf is, it's kind of hard to tell when I can't physically see her.  Sure enough, Past Me #3 is at the back of an alley, but something's wrong.  There's a person threatening themselves onto her, not like the guy in the mansion, but he's holding a gun to her head.  Her tears drop onto the cold, concrete ground as the scene begins to immediately split into two.  

On the left, Past Me #3 whimpers as the masked criminal presses the gun further into her forehead.  "Give it to me," they demand through gritted teeth.  "I want your wallet, your phone, your watch..." they list off various demands and Past Me #3 nods like a meek kitten. 

"I'll do whatever you want," she says through sobs, "just please don't kill me."  From my point of view, she only looks about twenty, and I feel selfish for the fact that I'm happy I don't have vivid memory of this happening.

"Good girl," says the criminal in a creepy voice, and lowers the gun which causes her to let out a tiny sigh of relief.  Jeez, what kind of things have been happening to my past selves!?

Past Me #3 just hands her entire purse to him and places her silver watch inside it.  She pushes it toward him.  "Just take it."

The masked person snatches the bag from her and fishes her I.D. out of her wallet.  "Isabella Lindberg," they read.  Looking back at her with evil eyes, they continue, "if you even dare think of reporting this to the police, I know where you live, I will come find you."

Past Me #3 just nods, carrying herself like a beaten puppy as the criminal escapes further into the alley.  She sinks to the floor and cries.

On the right, Past Me #3 whimpers as the masked criminal presses the gun further into her forehead.  "Give it to me," they demand through gritted teeth. "I want your wallet, your phone, your watch..." they list off various demands but Past Me #3 remains defiant.

"No," she says coldly, clearly trying to hide her fear because the criminal will probably kill her at any second.  "Thieves like you despise me.  When you murder me, you'll go to court and then to jail for the rest of your life.  Your own life will be ruined, so go, I dare you, kill the twenty-year-old that doesn't matter at all."

I blink back in shock; for once, the two versions seem like two different people.

"If that's what you want, fine."  The masked person presses the shotgun even further into her forehead.  "Any last words?"

At last, Past Me #3's eyes begin to show some fear.  She probably didn't think he was actually going to go through with it.  "Wait, please, don't-"

The bang is loud, but clearly not loud enough to alert the passerby who all are in their own worlds.  I try my best to ignore it but the memory of me running from that man when he was chasing me with a gun just resurfaced.  My attempt to push it away is successful just as Past Me #3's body flops onto the floor, her eyes permanently stuck wide-open as her blood forms a pool around her.  The criminal grabs her purse and the now-bloodied watch from her wrist and escapes.

"Oh my Arceus," Leaf whispers beside me as the scenes fade into two silver doors.  "That person killed you.  They killed you."

"I... I'm just glad I don't fully remember that memory."  I'm shaken up myself, I won't lie about that.

"So which one do you think is the right one?" Leaf inquires after a small pause to let the event we just witnessed sink in.  "Maybe let's be optimistic and go for the one where she was just robbed?"

I'm about to say "okay" when I remember that this event too appeared in that same dream, so I shake my head no.  "No, the right memory is the one where she actually died.  In the dream I had, I remember clearly hearing the gunshot."

"Good on you for being able to remember your dreams," Leaf says with a little chuckle despite what just happened in front of us.  Her voice fades away as, I'm presuming, she heads for the door on the right.  I glance back at the silent observers, Dialga and Celebi, as they follow us through into the next stage.  

This whole process is becoming a little cut-and-dry, although I do admit it's pretty interesting seeing snippets from the lives that I used to live.  Almost as soon as we enter the next stage the greys begin to turn into vibrant colours from a memory that I will never be able to remember for myself.  This last stage is really just go go go, isn't it?  I remark inwardly.  We haven't stopped once, but at least this is less tedious than the other stages... well, in a way.  It is very tedious trying to remember this dang dream.

I will admit that the way the colours form is really pretty.  Think of the northern lights crossed with paint pooling on a canvas.  I've seen a lot of magical things once I arrived in the world of the fairies, but this must be the most magical of all.

The memory we're in this time- my fourth-last life I think?- is definitely than the previous two when were on a busy street with lots of other past people.  This time we're alone in a small house that looks very rough around the edges.  Not much furniture, not much anything really, it looks kind of sad to be honest.  Past Me #4 is sitting at her tiny kitchen table going through bills and having a mental breakdown.  I want to hug her, but I know my place is to watch and not interfere- it's not like I even can anyway.

A guy comes down the stairs and, immediately once he sees her crying, quickly runs up to Past Me #4.  When he kisses her on the cheek it pretty much confirms to me that he's her boyfriend.  "Ria, what's wrong?  What happened?"

"These bills, Grayson," she sobs.  "We can't pay them."

He quickly takes the big handful of bills from her hands and runs through them with a thoughtful look in his eyes- maybe he's running the numbers?  Grayson glances back to his girlfriend who has calmed down a slight bit.  "Maybe you calculated wrong?  Our paychecks will cover this, just barely but we're not going into debt yet."

"No, you don't get it," she says as the scene starts to split up into two.  Wow, early this time.  "You don't get it."  She looks at the ring on her finger, probably an engagement or a promise ring, and tears up again.

"Then tell me Rie, I'll listen."  

His sincerity kind of reminds me of August.  The thought makes me go a little sad inside myself.

"I'm pregnant," erupts both of Past Me #4s, and the second version of the memory fades to black in order for the first one to play.

Grayson looks at her, eyes wide.  "You're... pregnant?" he repeats in a shocked whisper, his eyes full of stars.  

She nods pitifully.  "How are we supposed to be able to pay for a child?  We can barely support ourselves, how are we going to be able to-"

Grayson breaks off Past Me #4's words with a kiss.  She seems shocked at first but leans into it.  When he pulls away, he looks so happy he's about to cry- I can see why someone would fall in love with him, he looks absolutely adorable.  

Just like my Auggie.

"I'm so h-happy," he stutters, his voice cracking as he hugs her close.  He kisses her forehead as she continues to hold him close to herself.  "And sweetheart, don't worry about the money, we'll cover it somehow."

My heart hurts, this guy reminds me of August so much.

These two could be us if... ah nevermind.

August may be a blip in the main future, but he's special, this memory shows it to me.  He's special and I still love him.  I know that's selfish, but I need him.  I need a part of him to always be with me.  Even now, I want him here.

"But-"

"I love you more than I worry about our money situation," he promises lovingly.  "I love you and our baby."  

Past Me #4 just sniffles, but she has a smile underneath.  This version of the memory fades into the second version pretty quickly.  

Grayson looks at her, eyes wide. "You're... pregnant?" he repeats in a shocked whisper, his eyes full of not stars, but anger.  "How!  How are you pregnant!?"

"Are you seriously asking how you got me pregnant!?" Past Me #4 counters angrily, banging her head on the table once.

Her boyfriend just sighs angrily and looks at the bills.  "We can't have a child," he stresses, looking at the numbers, "how are we supposed to feed them, or give them an education!?"

"We can-"

"No," he says angrily, "our jobs are already paying us the bare minimum, I'm not having my life spiral into debt having this baby."  Just like that he goes toward the front door, grabbing his phone, his keys, and his jacket.  

Past Me #4 is hysterical at this point, tears pouring from her eyes as she reaches after him.  "No, wait, please, you said you'd love me forever no matter what!"  She holds out the hand with the ring on it.  "That was what you told me when you gave me this promise ring!"

Grayson remains silent, opens the front door, walks through, closes it and doesn't look back as the scene fades.  The two silver doors make their appearances again and I find myself making a tough decision.

"Try recalling your dream again," Leaf suggests when a few moments go by without me speaking.  "Think of anything?"

I think back to that dream I had, trying to remember if any details stuck out to me.  Assuming these memories are coming in reverse order, that means the area I should be trying to remember is what happened right before the shooting.  Hmm...

After thinking for a minute or two I remember that there was a girl crying who also had a promise ring... and if I remember right, which I'm not sure I do, I think he said that he would love her no matter what happened.  A hug or a kiss might've happened, but I can't recall it exactly.

"The left door is the right door," I say as soon as I figure it out.

"Say that again," Leaf deadpans.

"The left door is the right-" I break off laughing.  Bless Leaf's soul for keeping me happy during this, I don't deserve her as a friend.

Leaf and I, as well as the two Pokemon head through the door- and thank goodness I'm correct, because we reach a very grey area, not a black one.  The same shimmery noise I've been hearing rings out again and, just like last time, we're not given any kind of break before being pushed onto stage... what is it, five?  Four?  Six?  I've lost count.  I've also noticed that my legs are beginning to wobble and my left arm is going a little numb, but I'm glad that these memories are here to distract me from the pain that comes from too many uncontrolled Elements within oneself.

In this memory test, the scales form a forest in the dead of night.  Luckily the moon actually has decent light to provide on this clear night, so it's not completely pitch black.  I hear some crying echoing in the distance, the sound brought to us by a gentle summer breeze.  Motioning for the rest of my group to follow me, we go and approach a weeping girl who is pulling a large piece of rope from her backpack.  With dread, I realize that this is indeed Past Me #5.  

I know exactly what she's about to attempt to do, because there's not-so-conveniently a tree stump sitting right in front of the giant oak she's about to tie that rope to.

Past Me #5 grabs said rope and ties a knot to form a noose.  She tosses it over a low-hanging but sturdy tree branch, and as she climbs up onto the tree stump the moonlight catches her in such a way that the tears that have gathered around her eyes sparkle like diamonds.

As she puts the rope around her neck, the memory begins to split in two.  Fast again this time with that split, thank you Calem.  I need to finish this test, my whole body is beginning to ache. 

Both versions of Past Me #5, once they've fitted the two versions of the noose around their necks, take a step off the tree stump.  Each of their right feet are still on the stump, and I close my eyes when they each finally step off the dead tree.  Interestingly enough, both scenes are playing at the same time.  The first one is just the same morbid reflection on what happened, although in the second one I can hear footsteps approaching closer and closer and-

"ELLA!" screeches a girl that I've never met before.  Past Me #5, who is still choking and sputtering in the noose unlike the other version of herself, is glancing in shock at the girl- who I'm just gonna guess is her friend because why else would she show up?- who might make her attempt fail.

The girl swiftly climbs the tree and helps Past Me #5 out of the noose as quick as she can.  She jumps down nimbly and holds her friend close as she keeps crying.

"I'm so sorry, Lara, I'm so sorry," Past Me #5 says between sobs as her friend, Lara, holds her close.  It's jarring looking between this scene and the first, where Past Me #5 is hanging, dead.

Just like that, the memories fade into grey as well as the two silver doors.

"She ended up killing herself," I say quickly, not wanting to bother with the specifics of retelling a dream this time.  "She didn't live."  I progress toward the left door and practically kick it open.  I hate the fact that two of my past selves died so young, they deserved far much more.  

"Are you okay?" asks a concerned-sounding Leaf as we travel through the shimmery door into a new area of grey.

"I just want to get out of here, my head is starting to pound from all this extra magic that I just claimed."  I'm not lying, there's this ringing noise in my ears that won't stop either.

"We'll get out of here soon," Leaf promises sounding even more anxious for my well-being than before.  I sigh; I get that she cares about me, and I right now I need her to have enough energy for the both of us.

Dialga and Celebi follow us through as the door closes behind them.  "There are only three more memory tests after this one," says the latter.  "Your first test is almost finished."

Thank Gardenia for that.  "Thanks for letting me know, Dialga."

The Primordial Pokemon just gracefully nods its head up and down as the scene begins to shift.  This specific memory test, I'm discovering, is different from all the rest because we're being split into two right from the beginning.  The scales have formed some kind of magical barrier between the two versions of the memory, a wall if you will, and while the one on the right fades to black the left one begins to play.

Once again we spawn on a street- what's with these important memories being on busy city streets!?  I instantly spot Past Me #6, she's definitely older than I am but she has my hair and my eyes as she walks past.  There's also a bouncy little six-year-old who Past Me #6 is trying desperately to hold onto.  In a heartbeat, I realize that this little girl is my daughter from a different time.  It's... a strange feeling, to say the least.  It gets sadder when I realize that, by now, that daughter is long gone.

"Mummy, Mummy, can we go get some yummy pretzels from the store?" asks the giddy toddler, her grin giant as she points at what is apparently a place that sells pretzels.

Past Me #6 shakes her head.  "No salt for you, Lili.  I don't want you to have heart problems again."  She mutters that last part to herself so her daughter, Lili, can't hear her.  In a split second though, Past me #6's voice returns to normal and grows overly enthusiastic.  "But how about we go get some ice cream instead?"

"I want M&Ms," Lili whines, skipping ahead much to Past Me #6's unhappiness.  Lili turns back, a beaming smile on her face.  "Can I have sprinkles too, Mummy?"

Past Me #6 smiles at her daughter.  "You can have all the M&Ms and sprinkles you want, Honey."  She then walks forward and once again grabs her daughter's hand, not letting go.

To my disappointment, this scene fades and the next one begins to play.  However, the scene is much different.  Past Me #6 appears to be around the same age, but she's fighting in a war zone.  This is... jarringly different than the first scene, is whatever is different really so significant it could start a war?  

Past Me #6 appears to be some kind of general or some rank of higher status, because she's the one giving orders.  Gunshots are firing all over, and she's trying to help the clearly injured members of her army get to safety by giving them cover. 

What h... wait, where's Lili?

"Ms. Lydia, we-"

Past Me #6 cuts off the soldier who has clearly lost an arm.  She points him to the direction of the medical area, ushering him there and not letting him speak another word about him most likely wanting to help.  I know she just wants him out of the combat.  

The enemy draws closer, too close for her and the rest of her uninjured front-line soldiers to escape.  A dreadful feeling creeps up on me again as Past Me #6, looking like she's about to cry now, pulls out a photo from her breast pocket.  I run up to her, I want to see what it is.  My stomach sinks when I see a picture of her smiling with Lili.  

"I'm going to see you again now, Honey," says Past Me #6 with a smile.  "I missed you so much." 

Since this brave soldier is in a position where she's about to die, it only makes sense to believe that Lili died... at six.  Before six.  A toddler died, my daughter.  

I already know that this is the real memory, because I have no memory of dreaming about me and my daughter going out for ice cream.

My daughter from another time died, but just like it was with Leaf's death, I don't feel anything.  I just feel numb.

The gunshots get louder and louder, and that sad smile grows a little thinner on Past Me #6's face.  It doesn't take long for the barricade to go down, and all she could do was get the injured soldiers out to safety before a bullet comes hurtling at her face.  It hits its target perfectly and she dies instantly.

After that the greyness returns, but I just step straight up to the door in front of me, walk through it, and don't look back once I reach the other side.  

I hear Leaf's voice growing a bit louder as she gets closer to me.  "Valerie, what'd you see?"

"In this timeline, her daughter died of whatever heart problems she had, she joined the army, and you saw that she died.  She said she was happy to finally see her daughter again, and was smiling even as the bullet struck her and killed her- how, how am I supposed to live knowing that happened to me- well, not to me- ugh!"  It's nice seeing the sweet moments from my past selves, but it's memories like these that really make me want to cry.

If I could see her, I'd imagine that Leaf would be giving me a smile right now in order to try and cheer me up.  "But hey, she gets to see her daughter again, and isn't that a good thing?"

I sigh.  "I guess you're right."  It's too bad that I will never get the chance to meet Lili, she's long gone at this point.

Even before Dialga and Celebi enter the scales begin to change colour again- seriously, do we not get any time for a break!?  I like the speed that I'm progressing at, but at the same time, I need a few minutes to process what I just witnessed.  Leaf'd probably like it too- if our positions were reversed, I'd be mortified at what I'd be seeing.  

This time, we're standing on... another street.  Why are all these significant memories happening on city streets, is there some kind of significance behind it that I'm missing?  A car is driving by, and we're moving with the car so that it looks like the street is the thing rushing by in a blur and not the car that, by now, I can guess is holding Past Me #7.

I can't hear the sounds of the other pedestrians on the sidewalk that we're passing by, only the sounds of the car and the people inside it.  

"Hey, you wanna get some ice cream after this?" asks the girl in the driver's seat.  From what I can see, past Me #7 is the passenger in this vehicle.

The person in question nods.  "Mmm, I would love that," she agrees in a lovey-dovey tone as she clasps her hands together.  "But thank you for agreeing to drive me to my job interview, dear sister."  She adds that last part in a teasing voice.

Past Me #7's sister rolls her eyes as she takes her right hand off the steering wheel.  It disappears for a second but she raises it again shortly, this time with a drink.  She takes a sip from the steamy beverage as she glances at Past Me #7.  "Why would I not?  You're literally the only family I've got left, of course I'm gonna help you out."

"Do you love me enough to wait for me there?" 

The sister laughs.  "Nah, I don't love you that much.  I'm going to pick up some groceries for my roommates while you're doing your thing, just send me a text after you're done."  They arrive at an intersection with a green light, so they keep passing through because there's no reason to stop.  "Green light, that's gotta be a good sign for y-"

This split is the fastest I've ever seen compared to the others, almost as fast as the speed of light; our angle changes to a front view rather than a side view of the event.  A van who could care less about the red light telling it to stop speeds right through the intersections, brutally crashing into both versions of the car.  As soon as the crash happens the sounds from the rest of the world start to fade back into my ears- the first things I hear are screams from all the passerby that witnessed the crash.  The van caught fire, and the fire is now spreading to the car that my past self and my past sister were in.

One of them dies here, but who?  I wonder.  It takes me a moment, but I do end up remembering from my dream which one does end up dying as a result of this car crash.

Still, there's some part of me that wants to see what happens, so I wait and watch.

The driver of the van appears to be dead in both versions.  In the scene on the left, Past Me #7 pushes herself out of the passenger door just as her sister pushes herself out of the driver door in the scene on the right.  They're both bloody and broken, but they're both still trying to pull their sibling out of the car.  They somehow manage to do so and cradle them close even though it's clear that they're both dead.

"No, Alice, please talk to me," weeps her sister.  "Please.  You're all I have left, please..." 

Past Me #7 doesn't reply, her eyes lifeless.  Her arm flops to the ground, as a result of both brokenness and lifelessness, and her sister starts to sob.  After a few minutes of dealing with the shock, she passes out.

The version of the memory that's playing to the right is basically the same but the roles are reversed.  I don't really want to go over it because those feelings of hopelessness and despair are starting to creep up on me again.  Losing someone who you love the most; that's one of the worst things in life, and as I watch Past Me #7 cry over her dead sister, I'm reminded of it.  I was reminded of it when I lost Leaf (at first), and now thinking back to when I abandoned August, those feelings are brought up.

I need to see him.

I need him.

"I need to finish this test," I mumble as the two versions of the memory fade.  Two silver doors take their place, shining and tall.  I instantly head to, walk through, and emerge on the other side of the one to the right.  In my dream I thought Past Me #7's sister was just run over by a car, but I guess they were in a car crash.  

"Two stages left, right?" Leaf checks, not even mentioning the scene we just witnessed.  

It's not me who answers, but Celebi.  "Yes, this is the second-last stage.  Although, we should mention something about the last memory test.  It is a bit... different than the rest."

"Oh?" I tip my head to the side.  "What's different about it?"

"You pick a path from the start, and as you notice things in each path, you may choose to transfer to the other one.  Transferring is easy from the start, but the closer you near to the end the more impossible it will be.  It is the last part of the test, did you expect it to be easy?" Celebi adds in a cheeky tone.

Well, I was trying to be optimistic... "Thanks for letting me know, Celebi," I tell the Time Travel Pokemon as the blank grey palette begins to change.  So this is the last normal stage- well, as normal as things are.

Wait... this is the second last stage.  Meaning, this must be the life that Heliux and Layra dropped me off into.  

That also means the next stage...

Nevermind it for now, I tell myself.  Cross that bridge when we come to it.

When I rejoin reality again there's a beautiful graduation party set up for- I'm assuming- Past Me #8.  My suspicions are confirmed when she walks down the hallway in a beautiful dress holding her diploma.  That's all we get to see before the memory splits itself into two.  This split is also a fast one, I observe.

The one on the left plays first.  When she comes out of the hallway, she rejoices with her parents, grandparents, and siblings on the other end.  She gives each of them a tearful hug, and her smile is so wide that she's making me smile just watching her.  Her eyes, the same as mine, are wobbly with happiness.  They look like Wobbly-fets, those jiggly jelly desserts.  

"Thank you, Mom, for getting me here," she whispers when hugging her mom.  "You too, Dad."  Past Me #8 goes to hold both of her parents close.  "Thank you for being there for me, you helped me pay my way through university, and now I'm on my way to working toward my PhD.  I just- I don't know how to put it into words, gosh this is really embarrassing isn't it?" she laughs and cries at the same time.

"We'll always support you Violet," responds her mom who is of course crying, what mom wouldn't cry at her kid's graduation?  "You don't have to thank us."

The girl and her family sit in the great room together, balloons filling the place and loud pop music blaring.  Past Me #8 looks so happy she could burst, so loved by the many people that care about her, and then this scene fades to black while the other one plays.  

Past Me #8 steps through the hallway to greet not her family this time, but a group of others her age that I'm assuming are her friends.  With them they have a suitcase, and Past Me #8 walks up to it and grabs it quickly.  "We've gotta leave before my parents come home," she says in a rushed voice.  "They'll stop us."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" asks one of her male companions.

She nods.  "I'm done with them, they've ruined my life more times than I can count, and I'm officially cutting them off."  Already I know this is incorrect- if Heliux and Layra are the good readers of people that they appear to be, then they wouldn't give me to a bad set of parents.  I have to trust them on this, it's the only thing I have to go on.

Her four other friends nod and rush through the front door.  Past Me #8 doesn't even look back.  The four of us follow them out to the driveway where a five-seater is waiting.  The friend that questioned her earlier takes the wheel as Past Me #8 piles her suitcase in the trunk.  She slips in the passenger side door as another car is going to enter the driveway- her parents'.

Her mother's eyes widen as she spots her daughter, and she doesn't hesitate to roll the window down.  "Violet?  Sweetie?  We haven't seen you in months, how are-"

"Fake," Past Me #8 deadpans, and tells her friend not to lower the window.  "Just drive, it's all fake.  They've used my money, stole my friendships, you guys know.  It's just fake to get me to give them money to pay their rent.  Drive."

"On it."  Her friend steps on the gas and the car speeds out of the driveway and down the street.  Her parents just stare in shock at their daughter who they've pushed away so far that she isn't ever going to come back into their lives.

The scenes fade to grey but I stand by my thought process and head immediately toward the left door.  When Leaf asks me why I chose so quickly, I explain my logic to her.  She understands pretty fast and follows me through- well, I don't see her, but her voice stays by me when I do and- you get it.  No need to explain silly things in my head.

Unlike the other scenes, we don't step through into a world of grey.  Instead, there's already a memory split into two.  Both scenes are paused currently.  I can see each one stretch forward, each memory a cliff that form a V-shape.  Well, the two memories together form the V-shape.  

"You know what, I'm feeling left today," I tell Leaf.  "What do you think?  I can always cross if it's wrong."

"Well, usually the go-to way to go is right, but you know more about this stuff than me," is her answer.  "Do what you think is right!"

"Left it is then," I say, then head to the path on the left.  The memory on the right fades from view and the one that I just entered begins to play.

Baby-Me is currently crying, and both Heliux and Layra are fretting over what to do.  They're in some kind of tiny house, definitely not like anything I'd see at the Colony.  So I really was a secret.  Huh.  I'm not sure whether to be upset about that or not.

"When did she last-"

"I fed her twenty minutes ago, she's not getting milk early just because she's crying," retorts Layra.  "Oh, oh, oh, what else could she want!?"

"Her blankie," says Heliux quickly, clearly as distressed as my mother is.  "Go find it, I'll try and soothe her in the mean time."

Layra sighs, sounding tired.  "Worth a shot," she says, and gets searching.  Heliux, meanwhile, pulls out his violin case.  He carefully plucks the instrument and bow from their holder and walks over to where Baby-Me is sitting and crying in her crib.  The Light Minister, despite being probably tired and fed-up with her crying at that point, smiles down at his daughter.  

He readies the bow and begins to play a soothing melody on the violin.  Baby-Me's crying slowly fades to a halt as she looks at her dad in wonder.  Heliux just continues to smile at her and- and sings!?

"Lay down your head, and I'll sing you a lullaby,
Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay.
And I'll sing you to sleep, and I'll sing you tomorrow,
Bless you with love for the road that you go."

The Light Minister bends down to her level and continues.

"May you sail far to the far fields of fortune,
With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet,
And may you need never to banish misfortune,
May you find kindness in all that you meet.

May there always be angels to watch over you,
To guide you each step of the way.
To guard you, and keep you, safe from all harm,
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay."

Layra walks into this with a baby blanket in hand and softens when she sees what's happening.  Baby-Me by this point has calmed down and looks almost sleepy (as the song seems to aid) as Heliux stands up.  He sets the violin down and holds Layra close as they look at their daughter.  After a few seconds though, Layra breaks away from her boyfriend and picks up her baby girl.  She returns to Heliux, and the two adults hug each other around Baby-Me.  

My mother places a soft kiss on her daughter's forehead, and my father whispers a gentle "I love you, Starshine," into her ear.  

Their daughter.

Me.

They're my parents.

The thought is so sudden, I almost jump when it comes to my mind.  My parents.  Them?  Is that...

The scene suddenly loops back to its start.  I can still see the other memory from here, and it looks like the exact same thing just happened... so this memory is 100% real.  "Wait," I say to Leaf and co. as the two Legendary Pokemon, and presumably her, move forward.  "I want to watch this again."

"Okay..." my friend sounds skeptical, but she doesn't question it.

My feet stay firmly planted in place as I watch the memory play again.  I think about this, this love and affection, and how it's so different than what I remember my childhood being like.  It was all yelling, fights, pain... none of that is hear.  All I see is love.  Love between a father and his daughter, love between a mother and her child, love between two soulmates.  A tear falls down my cheek, I can't walk away.  Is this... is this what I've been missing...?

I could tell that Heliux meant every single one of those words, and the motherliness in Layra coming out when she picked Baby-Me up was no accident either.

They both really care about me.  I guess I could see it before, every moment they could they treated me with kindness.  They never forced me into uncanny situations or anything like that, they respected me and my demands.  Back then, all those years ago, they cared enough to find me a caring family to grow up with, at least for my first life.  Now there's this memory.

I think I can see that I'm their child now.  I want this love, I want to be apart of it.  I want their love.

I want them.

I want my mom and dad.

I want them as my mom and dad, and I think I can accept that now.  "Let's go," I say, finally stepping forward past this first scene.

After seeing memories like this, after seeing all of these memories, I'm grateful for the experiences.  Even the bad ones!  I got to live.  I got to experience life to the fullest because I could do it multiple times.  They're the ones that gave me that gift, and although I hated them for it initially, I'm finally beginning to understand their reasoning.

I can tell that they loved me.  I can tell that they still  love me, despite all those years we spent apart.  

I think... I think I can finally start to call them Mom and Dad.  

It'll take some work reminding myself, but I think I can do it.

The next couple memories we go through only seem to solidify this thought for me.  The months pass by and I see more sweet moments between my parents and I.  My parents.  I admit, it's a bit odd using the term "parents" in a fond way, but I think I'll get used to it.  I want to get used to it.

We're in the middle of a memory that's Heliux and Layra baking some cookies.  They take the tray out of their little oven (which I think is just powered by magic) and use their magic to turn it off.  "Cookies for us later," La- Mom says lovingly to Dad, "but come, let's take Star to the Colony, it's about time she meets the people she's going to live with for the rest of her life, right?"  Wait.  Wait what?

"Of course.  There is no better day."  He smiles at her, which I'm starting to see is a common occurrence around Baby-Me.  Dad leans down and brushes his fingers against her chubby baby hands, earning him a giggle from her.  

I pause as it suddenly hits me.  What?  They're doing what?

"I don't think this is right," I say out loud as the two leave the house with their child.  "I don't think they would've done this.

Celebi starts saying something, but instantly vanishes.  Lance must've called Celebi out, I realize with a pang.  Shit.  "Dialga, can you get Leaf and I across to the other memory?"  I look out, and realize that the other memory is near its end... and then I look forward.  This memory is near its end.

Celebi said it would be almost impossible to cross near the end.

I need to cross.

Shit.  Leaf was right about that 'go right' thing.

"You sure?" Leaf asks.  "Why do you think it's false?"

"If they showed me to the Colony," I explain, "they wouldn't have given me up, they would've kept me.  Plus, none of the fairies knew that I was their daughter when I entered the Colony for the first time.  This is the wrong one, and we need to cross or else we'll all die.  I don't want you dying twice," I add mournfully.

"Dialga, can you get us across?" asks my best friend to the Legendary Pokemon.

Dialga gives a curt nod.  "It will be quite the jump, and I will not be able to make it.  I will try-"

"Can't you fly?" I point out.

"Not here, only you can," it answers much to my disappointment.  "I will jump, then you jump off and bring yourselves to the other side."  I glance across- it is a really far distance.  I can barely see the other cliff from here, so there's no way I could fly across without fainting or something.

"Let's do this, our last challenge," I tell Leaf.  "Give me your hand!"

"Okay!" I feel an odd sensation in my left hand which I take to be Leaf's spirit placing her hand in mine.  It's definitely not like normal hand-holding, I'll tell you that.  Together we climb up on Dialga's back, and the Primodrial Pokemon makes a jump across the black abyss of Time.

It feels strange that it's almost over.  Once Dialga begins to fall, sacrificing itself to the empty depths for us, I grip Leaf's hand harder and fly.  Who knew carrying the spirit of your best friend would be hard, but it is for some reason.  I find my fingers grasping for the opposite cliff, but a wave of pain caused from the extra Elements makes them falter and I miss.  

Thankfully, Leaf isn't in pain, and she grabs the cliff just fine.  She pulls me up, and by this point I'm shaking from fear, pain, and excitement.  We just missed the memory of Heliu- Dad and Mom giving me up to that nice family.  The only thing I catch is a small bit of their tearstained faces as they fly away before a silver door rises up from below.  I feel a bit sad for missing that memory, but I suppose I can always ask them about it later.  Now, I need to focus on this test.  Together, Leaf and I push it open.

Calem turns around and smiles.  "Congratulations, you've passed."  He glances at some spot beside me.  "I think you know what happens next."

The Spirit Soldier wastes no time conjuring a portal for me to go through.  I turn to the spot where Calem was looking at a moment ago.  Leaf has to die again, why would she do this?  "Leaf..."

"Go," she says determinedly.  "Go get the last Element, then you'll be done.  I'm counting on you."

"I won't let you down," I say meekly, then turn to Calem.  He deserves a proper goodbye from me, we've been through so much together, but he practically pushes me through that portal without saying a single word more.

Still, I turn back to him even when I am through.  "Calem... thank you."

The last thing I see from him is a smile before it closes.  

This time when I walk up the stairs it's even more tiring.  For one, this set of stairs seems longer every single time, although that could just be me talking.  I trip on one of them, which when I fall and hit the ground triggers a bigger wave of pain and I cry out.  Unable to pull myself I find myself crawling up the steps slowly, one by one, until I pull myself up.  Using the wall for support I force myself to stand up as the Time Element is right there.  Sucking in a breath, I claim the final Element needed, and finish the test...

... almost.

See, there's one more thing I need to do.

I need to summon my Spirit Soldiers.

I look toward the empty torch in the center of the room, then gaze at the nine closed doors that surround it.  Finally, I look at the giant door just in front of me, the one that will lead us all out of here.

I stumble toward the torch and summon an overload of magic, an overload because I can't control this, I can't control myself at all.

I'm going to try for a second though.

It is time to end this.

August

That meeting with Lance... his deal... I'm shaken.

There's the obvious choice, I need to sacrifice myself for them all.

I know that I don't want to go to war anymore, I want to take the fairies and go far, far away from here.  We need to escape before anyone else is hurt... but if worst comes to worst and the others don't come by tomorrow at noon, then I'm going to give Lance what he wants.  I'll die, but the rest of them will be free.  

I've come to terms with it, but at the same time, I haven't come to terms with it.  I'm just curled up in a ball in the corner instead of leading.  The fairies need, they need someone to depend on, and it's supposed to me me, their Leader.  May the person that's going to come after me be a much better Leader than I am, I've failed everyone.

I can't Lead, the fairies need me and all I'm doing-

"August," comes Mallow's urgent voice, "look!  Out the window!"  She raises it.  "Everyone, look!"

This peaks my interest.  I adjust my eyes to the window, and with astonishment, I see magic, fairy magic, swirl in the sky.  Element symbols appear one by one- Air, Earth, Light, Darkness, Life, Warmth, Storm, Cold, and Time- and begin to swirl around.  They grow larger and larger, brighter and brighter, more and more saturated as they spin.  My eyes widen.

Valerie just passed her first test.

She came back.

She came back for us.

She came back despite what I said to her, she came back she came back she came back.

The Elements burst and send a shock wave that resonates across the sky.  

We're going to have a new Queen.

And there's the hope I was looking for, thank you Valerie.

If Valerie came back, then that means maybe, just maybe, I'll live.  Maybe things can work out.

I glance at the rest of the fairies, who seem to be filled with that same determination as I am.

I smile.  But if things don't work out, I know that while I may not, they will live to see another sunrise.

Heliux

"Everyone, come look!" I race toward all the common areas, and I do not blame the fairies for being spooked by my sudden shouting.  "The final gem has lit up.  The torches are going to be lighted again!"

Layra perks up from the corner of the room and dashes toward me.  "Let's go get our baby back," she whispers, and I nod in determined agreement.  The two of us walk back to the throne room as the fairies begin to alert each other.  Alara will no-doubt show up soon, but there is nothing I can do to prevent that.  She can do what she wants.

I am going to see my daughter walk out from the torture that is the first Queen's test.

Alara will be gone soon enough, and although I am absolutely furious at her, she is essentially a dead girl walking.  As soon as Valerie makes that emotional sacrifice, that wretched woman will die.

First, the Air Torch lights up with a blast of wind.  

The Earth Torch lights up, the ground begins to rumble.  

The lights brighten and dim momentarily when the Light and Darkness torches' flames come to life.  

A mystic wave of water towers over us when the Life torch catches flame, and the wave turns into a flame when the Warmth torch follows suit.  

Lightning strikes with the Storm torch's ignition.  

A blast of icy-cold snow blows through the throne room when the Cold Torch ignites.

For a few moments, loud clock gears can be heard when the last torch finally ignites.

Many fairies have come by now to witness the phenomenon, and by now, Valerie has most certainly finished her test.  The slate blue, rich caramel, lime green, dark violet, azure blue, bright orange, neon yellow, pale periwinkle, and light rose flames rise high in the air, the Elements of the Queen once again stable.

Now all that has to happen is for her to walk through the door behind the throne.

I can finally breathe a sigh of relief knowing that my daughter is alive.

Valerie

One by one, my friends enter through the doors.  A small snippet from each of the stages enters the tiny room when the doors open and my new Spirit Soldiers leave the places where I left them at.  

They all have the new tattoos on their faces, just like the old Spirit Soldiers did.  I'm almost in awe when I see them, and when Leaf walks through everyone's faces, especially Red's, light up.  She doesn't look like a Spirit anymore, she looks alive again.  Well, technically they are all dead.  

The moment she comes through we all grab hold of each other and form a giant hug, even Red, although he gives Leaf a giant kiss first before he lets her join.  I sob, from pain and from tragedy.  My friends have doomed themselves to eternal suffering, and instead of doing the spell to summon people like I originally planned I just let it be because I was too shaken.  

"You guys-"

"Are going to help you get through that door," finishes Nate.  The final door has ten handprints on it, and I have an inkling on what we're supposed to do there.  "Don't talk, we're gonna get you through there and onto a very comfy bed."

A bed sounds nice.  I offer him a weak smile.

My friends support me as we walk toward the door, because my head is pounding so hard I can barely walk.  I press my hand against it, as do they, and the door lights up a bright amber colour.  

In a few seconds it vanishes, and I can see the anxious faces of fairies down below... including my parents.

However, as soon as I step through, the pressure in my head finally gets to me.  I fall toward the floor, but luckily there are people to catch me.

WOW was I kidding?  This chapter is just shy of 13K words, so this takes the cake of being the longest chapter I've ever written (for now... XD).  What did you think?  I hope you liked it, I wrote this very late at night (hehe, it's almost 2 AM when I'm originally writing this).  If you're wondering about the meeting between Lance and August because it seemed mysteriously skipped, then have no fear because that's coming next chapter.

Anyway you've already read a lot today, so I'll leave it at that.  Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, and stay tuned for next week! :)

Congratulations though for making it through this chapter, if I could I would personally deliver each and every one of you a gold star.