“Phil! Finally,” Angel said, coming over to me in school the next day. I mentally sighed. I should’ve just skipped school today. I wasn’t in the mood for this. Plus, I really didn’t want to see Nick with his boyfriend.

                “I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone Angel. Leave me alone,” I growled dangerously.

                “I already know. Nick is with that Kenneth kid,” he said.

                “Shut up!” I snapped. I didn’t want to fucking hear it!

                “Phil, chill the hell out. We can kick his ass. Show him that no one messes with you like that,” he said, clenching his fists tightly.

                “No,” I said, feeling crushed. “No, just leave him alone Angel. Don’t hit him. Don’t yell at him. Just leave him alone.”

                I turned and hurried away from Angel. My mom would be at work until later tonight, so I could just go home. I would curl back up in my closet and just try to stop hurting so much. I couldn’t face school today. I couldn’t face Nick.

                I left school and hurried back home. I went in through the back door so that my neighbors wouldn’t see me. My mom would punish me if she knew I was skipping school.

                I rarely ever skipped school. I loved to go there and learn things. I liked to know things. Then I didn’t feel so stupid.

                But Nick would be there with his boyfriend. I couldn’t watch that. It would break my heart even more.

                I locked the back door and crept through the house, checking each room to make sure that mom was truly gone before heading to my bedroom.

                I curled up in the darkness of my closet and wrapped my arms around my knees. I buried my face against them and bit my lips as I felt my emotions choking me.

                I wasn’t good enough for anyone. I wasn’t good enough for my mom, or Angel, or Nick. The three people in the world I cared about, and I wasn’t good enough for any of them.

                I rubbed at my eyes to make sure they were still dry. I rubbed my aching chest and squeezed my eyes shut, just trying not to scream and cry and lose myself. I couldn’t lose myself.

                Because I had already lost Nick.

                                                                                ***Nick’s POV***

                I sat at the lunch table by myself. Phil wasn’t in school today, I had only briefly glimpsed Angel in the hallway, and Molly wasn’t talking to me.

                Kenneth came out and sat next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist and kissing my cheek. “Hey baby,” he greeted with a smile.

                I ignored him and bit into my pizza. I just wanted to find Phil so I could talk to him. I wasn’t sure what I would say, but anything would be better than leaving him with silence. I didn’t want the poor guy to think that I had just played him.

                I was scared to go his house, though. I didn’t want to anger his mom and get him beat. I was pretty sure I had already done enough damage without pissing that abusive woman off and getting his ass kicked.

                “Nick, let’s go to your house afterschool,” Kenneth said with a bright smile.

                “Sure,” I grumbled, taking another bite of pizza.

                We ate in silence after that. I refused to talk to Kenneth right now. I was mad at him for threatening me into this, but mostly, I was mad at myself. Why couldn’t I just stand up to Kenneth and end this? Then I could be with Phil!

                Well…Maybe not. I had a feeling that Phillip Brooks would never want to be with me after this. I had hurt him, the look in his eyes made that clear. He was probably done with me forever. Any chance of happiness I had had with him was completely ruined, and it was my fault.

                The bell exploding, startling me out of my thoughts. I got up and dumped my tray in the trash can before hurrying away from Kenneth.

                The rest of the day dragged by until it was time for me to go home. I went to my locker and exchanged a few books before looking around.

                “Molly!” I cried and rushed over to her. “Molly baby, please talk to me,” I begged desperately. She was my best friend, and I needed her.

                Molly crossed her arms and glared at me. She shook her head. “No, Nick. I’m not talking to you until you stand up to Kenneth and fix this fucking mess,” she growled.

                “Molly, I don’t know how to stand up to him,” I said miserably.

                “Well be a big boy and learn!” she snapped. “The whole reason I ever shoved you into Phillip Brooks, and pissed him off at you, was so that this shit would stop happening. So that people would stop taking advantage of you and walking all over you. But you obviously haven’t learned anything, and now you and Phil are both suffering because of it. And you could fix everything if you would just put on your big boy pants and stand up to that creepy mother fucker!”

                She clenched her fists tightly and glared at me harder. “Stand up to him. Until you do, I’m not going to help you. I’m not even going to talk to you. This is all the advice you’re getting from me, Nicholas Bradley. Man up, defend yourself, and fix this.”

                She turned and stormed off without looking back at me. I stared after her in shock. Her words hurt, because I knew she was right. This was my fault, and I needed to learn how to stand up for myself on my own.

                “Nick, let’s go,” Kenneth called, walking over to me.

                He took my hand in his and we walked out to my bus. We sat down together and he smiled and kissed me deeply.

                We got off at my house and I sighed and led him inside. I pulled him into my room before my mom could talk to us. I didn’t want her asking me questions. My relationship with Kenneth was not something I wanted to talk about.

                “Let me get on your computer quick,” he said as I sat on my bed.

                I gulped. “No,” I said firmly. “You’re not deleting my social networking sights. You’re not going through my phone. You’re not deleting my contacts. You’re not controlling my life. That wasn’t part of this, Kenneth. My phone, my computer, and my iPod are all things you’re keeping your hands off of.”

                He stared at me in surprise before glaring. He opened his mouth to say something, but snapped it shut again. He slowly forced a smile onto his face and sat next to me, wrapping an arm around me and nodding.

                “Okay, you’re right,” he agreed.

                He kissed me deeply and I kissed him back, hating it. It just wasn’t the same as Phil’s soft, comfortable lips.

                He kicked my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, letting his tongue in. It rubbed up against my own, and he wrapped his arms around me, tugging at my shirt.

                I shoved him off of me and glared at him. “I’m not doing anything sexual with you Kenneth. And if you try to force me and threaten me into it, I’ll tell my dad and he’ll arrest you for attempted rape,” I said flatly.

                Kenneth glared at me furiously. “God, when did you become such a fucking asshole Nick?” he demanded.

                I shrugged. “I told you I wasn’t faking it,” I lied casually.

                Even just being this mean to him was driving me crazy. Guilt was stabbing at me like a sharpened knife, and I hated it. But the crushed-looking Phil kept flashing through my mind and driving me.  

                Kenneth sighed sadly, dropping his gaze to the ground. “You know, all I wanted to do was get back together with you Nick. I really missed you. I fell in love with you, and you just broke up with me out of the blue. Then my grandma got really sick, and my family had to move. I had to start a new life at a new school with new people, while you moved on and dated Nolan, forgetting about me,” he whispered.

                He looked up at me with big, sad eyes. The guilt crushed my heart, and Phil was wiped from my mind. How could I be so mean to him? He may be creepy, but he must have had such a hard time with everything after I had broken up with him.

                “Once my grandma passed away and my parents told me we were moving back, I got excited. I was excited to see you again. And there you were, moving on with yet another boy. You could get anyone you wanted. You’re sweet, attractive, and just a great guy. I was lucky to have had you at all. I know I’m pathetic,” he mumbled sadly.

                “Kenneth,” I said and bit my lip.

                I mentally sighed. How could I be so mean to the poor guy? It wasn’t his fault he was so deeply in love with me. He couldn’t help that. Just like I couldn’t help my feelings for Phil.

                “I’m sorry I was mean to you. I had no right to be. I’m awful sorry,” I said honestly, hating myself. I was just hurting everyone lately, wasn’t I? I was such a terrible person!

                Oh my lanta. I had to stop this. I had to stop being so mean and hurting people. I wrapped my arms around Kenneth and gently kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry,” I repeated miserably.

                Kenneth smiled weakly and hugged me back, kissing me. “It’s okay Nick. I forgive you,” he said with a bright smile.

                Kenneth left a little while later, and I went out to the dining room for dinner. I sat down and sipped on my glass of milk as my parents sat across from me.

                “Nicky, why are you dating the crazy boy? I don’t want my son to be around crazy people,” mom said with a deep frown.

                Oh my lanta. She did NOT just say that.

                “Long story mom,” I mumbled, shoving a forkful of mashed potatoes in my mouth to save myself from explaining.

                “Nick, you might want to check on your friend,” dad said with a sigh.

                “Phil?” I asked and he nodded. “What’s wrong with Phil?” I asked, my heart slamming wildly. Had he gotten in trouble with the police?

                Dad sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. “A friend of mine lives up there by the Brooks’. He called me up and told me he heard her across the street, screaming her head off at her kid. I wouldn’t be surprised if that bitch was beating the hell out of him.”

                He winced and rubbed his arm as mom punched him. She looked at me and put her hands over her ears.

                “When daddy says a bad word, you do this Nick,” she said with a nod. She pulled her hands away from her ears and glared at dad. “Leave the bad words and unfriendly conversations away from the dinner table David.”

                “Dad, why don’t you arrest her for child abuse?” I asked, ignoring mom.

                “We can’t, Nick. We’ve got no real proof that she abuses him. Screaming at him and dragging him inside by his shirt isn’t child abuse. When the neighbors ask him about his injuries, they say he honestly claims they’re accidents,” he said sadly.

                I frowned deeply. Poor Phil. He had probably gotten the hell beat out of him again, and probably for skipping school or something. What if it was my fault?

                The guilt struck through me again and I winced a little at the force of it. I had to find some way to fix this whole situation and make everyone happy. But most of all, I just had to make Phil Brooks feel better.