You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are, and change the ending.
-C.S. Lewis

A month had passed since Alexandra had been rescued from the forest. She had rung the brass bell at the door of the shelter and had been greeted by a stout and motherly looking woman. Alexandra had spoken to her putting in every bit of pain she possessed, into her voice.

'Please, I am alone and an orphan. I have no one in the world. I'm terribly hungry, I haven't had anything to eat for days. A kind man pointed me here, he tells you are good people and this is a shelter for Abandoned children ... would you please keep me?' She had always been good with words, the old woman's heart must have melted, for Alexandra really did look in bad shape. Her dress was dirty and soiled, her face was streaked with grime and upon her head was a fresh, open wound, surrounding which was dry, caked up blood.

'Yes, yes, dear. Just two days ago I lost my Mabel to some mysterious affliction. Come in, why are standing out?' The lady had replied, her forehead wrinkling with emotions as she held the door open, wide.

Alexandra had took the cue from her, entering. 'Heavens, my name is Mabel too! It's all I remember.' She had lied, taking off her Royal ring and slipping it into a pocket.

'You are God's gift to us, dear! Go upstairs. You will find Betty, she is the one with braids. Have a bath, I'll get you something to eat.' And the old lady had shook her head once, leaving through a low side-door, perhaps to a store-room.

Alexandra had been stunned. In the two hours before arriving at the Shelter, she had come across two people - and both of them were ones she had never met before. Yet, the way they had helped her made Alexandra feel oddly guilty. She knew she was in Vedessa. That was the only way she could have left Doveland so soon. And just a border beyond, did something fundamentally change in the people? This was a country that was not Doveland's ally. In fact, it was Ethoris' sworn enemy - which somehow made them almost inimical. She had always looked at Vedessa with a biased preconception that it was pathetic and shoddy. Misgoverned - with a headstrong heir. She had considered the Dovish to be her "own" and the rest to be "foreign". When the "own" had turned their backs to her, it was the "foreign" who had taken her in. And melted her heart with their kindness.

Alexandra had felt her pride crumbled to dust, standing in the Shelter home. The thing that Liam had called "Princess Pride" - it had disintegrated. And so had her bigotry - her discrimination. The people here, were many times better. The atmosphere here was much less intimidating. People looked genuinely happy, they had hearts of gold. Alexandra didn't know any such "shelter homes" that existed in Doveland. The answer was simple - she was in a new place. And she could build her new world. Most of all, she could change herself. Alexandra could start looking at hearts now, for outside the four walls of the Dovish Palace, their births no longer mattered.

* * *

A bath had felt good. Betty had given her some clothes to wear. They had been a bit loose - and a little longer than they naturally ought to be - but soft and cozy. The whole place had been cozy. Laid-back and merry, with jovial people who had no complaints with life.

'What is this kingdom called?' She had asked Betty, out of curiosity. Though she knew their borders touched, nobody taught geography to Princesses - out of a general stereotype that princesses who learnt the globe's state, became male-like and conquest-hungry.

'Idgard, Mabel. We are Idgardians. This is the capital of Vedessa. Where are you from?' Betty had answered, dreamily and in a low, rounded lilt that Alexandra had come to recognize as the way the Idgardians talked. Betty's and the stout lady's (whom everybody called Mother Diana) accent was thicker than Liam's had been. Perhaps because he was a traveler, and didn't stay confined to Idgard? Alexandra didn't know - for all she knew, Betty's simple question had made her go pale.

She had hesitated, 'I ... I don't belong anywhere. I move from place to place, after I was abandoned ... last night I slept under a tree in a forest. Now I'm here...' She had ventured.

'But you will stay, won't you?' Betty had asked, frowning slightly as she twisted her braid.

Alexandra had considered that. For now, she had no other place to go - nobody she could trust, maybe apart from Liam - who Alexandra had to grudgingly agree, was trustworthy albeit wisenheimer.

'Yes - I'll stay.' She had concluded. 'I like Idgard. You people are really good and - it already feels like home.' She had praised, shrugging and making Betty beam with pleasure. The last part had been truer than anything she had said before. Idgard felt like home.

After that, things had fallen into a routine. There were many children in the place. But Betty had turned into her confidant ever since the first time they had set their eyes upon each other. She was the one Alexandra stuck with. But there was also Sarah, who was eleven and very wise for her years. But she was constantly bullied, because she was unusually quiet.

Once after their dinner, Alexandra noticed her surrounded by teens - younger and older. They were pressing her back, telling her to do something perhaps. But she was unusually calm, and firm, like it was a routine.

Alexandra trudged closer, trying to understand what was happening. Her gut instinct was of a peacemaker though she didn't mind getting into a good, few fights herself - every now and then. But one good thing, in the mound of other useless that had been taught to her as a princess, was that it was her duty to become the "voice of the ones without it". And while Alexandra was pretty sure Sarah was not completely helpless, "watching on" was the last thing she would do.

'You will do it!' A big girl barked - Alexandra knew she was Elaine - the feared, no-good bully of the Shelter. Elaine was infamous for kneeing young children in the stomach, pushing them out of washrooms just so she could occupy them and routinely terrorizing anybody who dared raise their voice. In fact, some suggested that she had connections with underground criminals and was only staying at the Shelter for free food. The claim sounded valid, for Elaine was no "kid" or "orphan". But neither was Alexandra...

Poor Sarah meanwhile shook her head and squeaked. 'No, I won't. I have been it doing it forever.' She mumbled.

There was one boy in the centre of it all, the rest looked like his gang, just helping him. Some claimed that Elaine and he were a couple - it seemed quite true.

'What's the matter?' Alexandra questioned, barging in. The central boy and Elaine were as old as her. Alexandra's eyes clashed with Elaine's and just like she had immediately befriended Betty, from the moment their eyes met, Alexandra knew Elaine was going to scratch her wrong side.

'Nothing.' Sarah herself clarified. She wasn't terrified. She said it more like she didn't want those people to fall into trouble.

'Then leave!' Alexandra commanded the gang.

'Who are you?' The boy asked.

'Who are you?!' She asked back. Clearly, no one had ever asked him that before, he was a bit unnerved, but quickly regained his wits, pushing her aside.

Never.

Never had Alexandra been pushed aside by a man. She had been always guarded, kept secured. Though it surprised her and made her a bit scared, she was also feeling oddly exhilarated. No rules to bind her, here: if he could push her, she could retaliate - without being punished.

The group had turned their attention back on the tiny girl. This time, Elaine gave Sarah a smack on the face. It must have hurt, but Sarah stood her ground, her back against the wall.

Alexandra put her hand inside her pocket and drew out the pocketknife. She remembered the time Liam had pulled it out and said it looked real to him. Of course it was real - and right now, it was needed.

'You sloths!' She barked at them, to get their attention. They did turn, and upon seeing Alexandra's new weapon, eyed the small knife's evil edge warily. 'I don't mind thrusting this up your necks!' Alexandra threatened, holding up her knife like it was huge cavalry sword. 'Or giving you a good few cuts!'

Half of the group, basically nine to ten year olds dissolved then and there.

But the rest didn't seem as inclined to budge. So Alexandra stepped in front of Sarah, the top of her head came up to Elaine's eyes, but height had nothing to do with this. 'Get going - you two aren't the King and Queen of this shelter!' She told Elaine and her mate.

'Are you deaf?' Elaine hissed. 'We asked you to stay away.' She added, and grabbed Alexandra's wrist in a grip so tight that it hurt.

'I asked to go away, twice.' Alexandra informed, careful not to show the tiniest bit of pain on her face when Elaine was twisting her wrist as if she wanted to wrench it off the joint. For another second, they stared at each other. 'And leave my hand!' She finally ordered, the pain getting the better of her. In a sudden impulse, she thrust the knife back into her pocket and swung her empty hand around.

Somehow, it came in contact with Elaine's face.

Smack!

Utter silence followed, as Elaine dropped Alexandra's hand in pain and staggered backwards. The other boy was staring at her, wide-eyed. The whole shelter had gone numb with silence.

'Look, we just wanted to talk.' Explained the oldest boy, breaking the silence. His tone had changed completely, it was as if he was pacifying Alexandra.

'That's very nice.' Alexandra spat at him, her slap seemed to have brought Elaine to her senses too, who apparently was not a very courageous bully, after all. 'But it didn't look like talking, you know. And this is the third time I'm telling you - get lost.' She added, through gritted teeth.

'You-' The boy began again, but this time Elaine put a hand to his shoulder and shook her head slightly.

'Noah, no.' She advised him.

'Final warning!' Alexandra yelled at them, 'or maybe I should call Mother Diana...'

'Fine!' Noah grunted, turning his heel and marching off. Elaine rushed off behind him.

Slowly, the shelter came back to life. The children moved around in their night dresses, wishing their friends and some laying down their mattresses.

'You are...?' Sarah asked her, unfreezing.

'Mabel.' Alexandra smiled, 'You are quite brave, you know.' She added.

Sarah nodded, 'Thank you. But nobody's ever hit Elaine before. They haven't so much as taken her name.'

'There's always a first time.' Alexandra shrugged. Sarah obviously didn't know that the smack had been nearly unintentional. 'But what did they want you to do? Why were they ganging up like that?'

'Oh - they.' Sarah began, turning crimson. 'It's Noah's turn to clean our toilets, but he doesn't want to, so-'

'They wanted you to do it?' Alexandra completed, appalled.

'Yes. I've been doing for months. No one ever wants to, so I do it.'

'You do?' Alexandra gawked. She'd never met such a good girl - in fact, if ever her turn to clean the toilets came across, she was pretty sure she would get somebody to do it for her - of course not by bullying. By bribing, maybe.

'Yes.' Sarah nodded, 'Noah is Mother Diana's own son. So he is like the King of this shelter - after all. She doesn't however, favor him. She just - doesn't know.'

Alexandra nodded, 'leave it. Would you like to share rooms with us tonight?'

'Us?'

'Betty and I? The right-most room on the top floor. Would you?'

'Ye - yes, sure!'

'Come.' She said, putting a hand around the small girl, 'I'll tell you how I once set my own hair on fire.' She grinned. It was completely true, Alexandra had once set her hair on fire, while trying to toss a few papers into the hearth.

* * *

They all woke up in the morning, and along with other non-aristocratic females of Idgard, walked two miles to get water from the wells. Alexandra was quite useless for it, because if she did carry a pot, she would definitely spill half its contents on the way. But she did give company to Betty along the way. They made small talk on the way. Betty pointed out different people and enlightened Alexandra about who they were. Who she had to avoid and who was friendly.

Upon returning, they had breakfast - helped the Mother Diana somewhat, where again Alexandra wasn't of much help, because she'd been taught to order people around, and not exactly work.

Liam had been right. People were troublesome. The children were, at least. They clamored and pestered as if there was no tomorrow. The one time she had lost her temper on them - when they had been asking her why she pronounced "r" so thickly (because of her Dovish accent, obviously) and called them "nasty little, annoying chipmunks", they had put spiders into her food in retaliation. An incident that had made Alexandra lose her appetite for half a week. They didn't have lunch, only two meals a day. One in the morning at nine, the other in the evening at six. Everyone was asleep by eight.

'It's my life now, I can't go back.' Alexandra muttered to herself every time she felt self-pity churning inside her.

At night, lying beside Betty and Sarah (who'd moved in permanently) on the mattress they spread on the floor, to sleep, Alexandra had looked at her ring and wondered if this was what she was supposed to do. At that rate, she would get married to some peasant or worker. And spend a life full of labor that she so not knew to do. It was in the middle of that night, that Alexandra had realized with a hopeless and dismal lurch of her heart, that she had left behind her diary in Doveland.

But weren't all those plans and incidents now only futile fragments of the past? A past she had left behind? A past that did not define her?

And if that was so, Alexandra asked herself, turning over to the side, then what was the point of dismay over them? What was the point of dismay over anything. Like a game of snake-and-ladder, the vilest snake had bitten her and dropped her back to the starting point.

The starting point of life.

But unlike a game of snake-and-ladder, the journey this time, wouldn't be in the slightest, the same as the last one had been.

* * *

Two nights later, she found Noah sitting in a corner of the Shelter.

It was seven, they had nothing to do. So she went to him, and sat down. 'Again your turn to clean the toilets?' She asked, jovially.

Noah jumped. Then his eyes fell on her, 'No.' He said, looking down. Alexandra wondered why he was looking so glum. Had he and Elaine separated?

'Sometimes, if someone startles us, Mabel, we are more scared than we would be if they were threatening us with a sword.' He muttered, looking at his knees.

Alexandra smirked. 'And you're saying this for what I did that night? I only startled you and so you were scared off?' Alexandra questioned. It was very stupid of Noah in that case - Alexandra had threatened him with a knife, if not a sword.

He nodded. 'My mother, she is. But she takes all of you in, and treats me like I'm one of you. How fair is that?' He then asked.

'Not fair.' Alexandra agreed, nodding knowledgeably. 'But Noah, it is life. It hasn't been fair to us either. We have no one in the world. You have your mother. If you share her with us, if she gives us a bit of love, is it bad?'

Noah stared at her as though she wasn't a girl but a talking animal, because he looked at once amazed and afraid, 'But she hardly ever talks to me.' He protested, feebly.

'My mother,' Alexandra recounted, 'didn't have much time for me either. But one day, when I stole away to this fair and got a pocket knife, which was never allowed, she told me I could keep it, that is if I didn't harm anyone. She told me it could be our -' Alexandra choked, her eyes brimming over, she wiped them - after all she had been through, crying didn't feel good. 'Our little secret.'

'Your mother?'

Alexandra nodded. 'She doesn't know where I am now, she doesn't even know if I'm alive or not-' fresh, hot tears rolled down her cheeks. 'But - I want you to know - just because our mothers sometimes cannot make time for us -' She explained, wiping her tears furiously, 'it doesn't mean they don't care.'

'Mabel - I'm sorry, I didn't know-'

'No, no.' She said, 'It's no big deal...' Alexandra sniffed, managing a smile. 'I'm not crying - my eyes are just watering. And, Sarah's a really good girl. If you could all be friendly, I mean, it's no use. We all don't know where we'll land up the next day. They will all forget who was the strongest, the prettiest. But nobody will forget the kindest. If we leave behind good memories of us, at least, people can smile, when they think of the moments we gave them.' She said. It felt awkward, to sit on a stone platform and talk philosophy, with a boy her age. But Alexandra felt some weight rolling off her. She felt better.

'I know - I understand. I'll try my best,' Noah said, and he nodded, sounding rather sincere. It was rather good if he was away from Elaine, once and for all. But he didn't need to say it. Alexandra knew he would.