Nothing in the world can trouble you as much as your own thoughts.
- Anonymous

It had been two days of Aunt Sabel's visit and life had gone seriously boring. Yes, Alexandra had thought they would be making a huge episode full of tripping each other and exchanging scathing words. But it seemed as if that wasn't what her Aunt planned to do. There was once a time when Alexandra thought her life was boring and useless. If so, she now realized how wrong she had been. Life without Aunt Sabel was equivalent to heaven.

On the brighter side, the Aunt had clearly lost her earlier interest in Alexandra. She now took more interest in touring over the city with Olivia. Olivia had to spend the whole day answering her never ending questions and bearing her sharp tongue. Aunt Sabel had said that she wanted to relive her moments in the country by visiting old places that she had liked. Alexandra had a theory that Aunt Sabel couldn't be going anywhere, actually, because she wanted to go to places she liked.  And as far as she knew, Aunt Sabel didn't like anything. But Alexandra shrewdly kept that theory to herself.

The Prince ... what-was-his-name ... Nicholas. Nicholas the prince looked sick. Not because of the Palace or anything ... he was downright sick. Or so Aunt Sabel said. He had not spoken a word to anyone ever since they had met. And normally, at the age of eight, princes were off to the Drill - an institute of military training for six years - before they learnt more about Kingship. Nicholas, who was nine, didn't seem particularly inclined to leave anytime soon. There was common consent among the four siblings that there was something mightily wrong with that boy. There was also common consent that they did not want to know what was wrong with him.

The next day, Aunt Sabel insisted on taking Alexandra as a guide - to which she was bluntly asked why she needed a guide in the first place, by a startled Alexandra.

'I do remember Doveland,' Aunt Sabel replied, with surprising calm. 'But it has changed in the past twelve years, my dear Alexandra. Now - where were we? Ah, yes - so Olivia is a good girl. But she has the horrible habit to agree with everything. I like people with minds of their own, you see.'

Was that a compliment?

Alexandra didn't find out. For all she knew, Aunt Sabel - no matter whether she liked mindless people or mindful people - was too bad a person to travel with. Especially after she had shown how vindictive she could be. Alexandra knew it would be foolishness to comply.

'Why me, then?!' She asked - there were professional tour guides she could take. There was Rose. There was even Queen Ava, who no matter how busy she was, wouldn't decline any request. 

'Excuse me?' Aunt Sabel asked, fixing Alexandra with a side-stare and speaking in her vilest tone.

'I - I mean, why not, then!' She corrected, hurriedly. That apparently, was not the best thing to say - because Aunt Sabel accepted it at once.

'That's nice. Wait for me next to the carriage.' She commanded, as if Alexandra was her handmaid. The tone however, didn't disappoint Alexandra as it earlier would have. It seemed as if her ears had made peace with the fact that one of the human voices it had to hear, was very shrill, unpleasant and only spoke rude words.

After making her wait for almost half an hour in the burning sun, Aunt Sabel finally arrived, did not even mention her delay and simply got into the carriage. Alexandra, her eyes narrowed, nose wrinkled and mouth open indignantly, just watched the lady climb in gracefully and make herself comfortable by smoothing the creases on her robes. Not a word of apology?

'Girl, don't stand there like a statue, come and sit!' Aunt Sabel said, without even turning to look  at her and pulling out a hand-mirror at the same time. She propped it up and stared into her reflection, arranging a few loose tresses of hair behind her small ears. 

Alexandra must really have looked like a statue at that point. Bad as Aunt Sabel was, she had never spoken this way to anybody. At least Alexandra had never heard her do it. For a while, she wondered if the intense heat had made way into her brain, making her hear wrongly. Finally, when Aunt Sabel showed no signs of correcting herself, and continued to toss the hand-mirror away, only to pull out a velvet emollient she began rubbing on her palms, did Alexandra realize she did mean her to "come and sit". 

Twisting the free end of her robe around her hand, Alexandra walked around the carriage to the other end of it, ducked slightly, and entered. Now Aunt Sabel was busy polishing a thin, peppery powder in her somewhat sunken eye pockets. 'Do you talk like this with Olivia too, Aunt?' Alexandra asked bravely, she just knew the Aunt would ignore her. And as expected, she did. Alexandra exhaled, shaking her head, and asked the driver to take for the Kalopzic Gallery, a place that Rose claimed had some of the best paintings of the century. It was a reputed place and Alexandra didn't want to antagonize the Aunt any further.

'Take for the Ivaze Point.' Commanded the Aunt.

And they turned towards the left, towards the Ivaze Point - a popular, calm destination for couples. It was a blend of two names: Blaze and Ivy, a popular, tragic love-story that had occurred for real. Since Alexandra wasn't much into love stories, she didn't know the exact details - but perhaps that was the place the duo used to meet at. 

But that was irrelevant. For now, Alexandra felt confused and repelled. What did Aunt Sabel have to do with that place? It was for couples. Had she ever been in love? Even normally, Princesses weren't supposed to do that. And then, of everybody - Aunt Sabel?

'You know that place, Aunt?' Alexandra asked, as casually as possible. Aunt Sabel didn't reply immediately. The lines around her mouth deepened and her eyes hardened. But she didn't speak. Alright, a top secret. The curiosity flared up in Alexandra. The slight flare-up, however, dimmed for the next ten years with Aunt Sabel's next statement.

'Don't ask questions. And it's unbearably hot, fan me.' She ordered, in a maddeningly casual tone.

Alexandra turned to look at her for a minute. 'What?' She asked, uncertainly. 'Aunt - you told I was to guide yo-'

'Olivia didn't question me. Not about the places I chose, not about my orders. You are certainly an upstart. But girl, you won't become smaller by fanning your aunt. It's hot. And I hate this weather here.' She criticized, wrinkling her nose disdainfully. Alexandra stared at the carriage-seat. In between them, a hand-fan seemed to have materialized out of seemingly nowhere.

Sabel was right, Alexandra wouldn't become smaller by fanning her, but Alexandra certainly lost all the little respect she had for her then and there.

Reluctantly, as if it was a poisoned, Alexandra grabbed the hand-fan and began shaking it from right to left - halfheartedly. It wasn't particularly mortifying, but Aunt Sabel's smug expression made Alexandra feel as if her skin was burning. She would have loved to push the hand-fan into the Aunt's mouth.

'Don't you eat, girl?' Aunt Sabel asked, startling Alexandra. 'I can't even feel the air. My goodness, the princess who doesn't know how to fan!' She continued. 

'Then you should just as well do it yourself.' Alexandra shot at her, slamming the fan down and turning away. She expected to hear a reply, but nothing came. And she could feel Aunt Sabel's satisfaction in having successfully flustered Alexandra.

What pleasure was she getting from this? What pleasure had she got from tripping her? Alexandra knew for sure that Aunt Sabel was ill. Not physically. She was mentally ill. For Alexandra, it was equal to madness. And Aunt Sabel was certainly mad. Perhaps, she had passed that illness to Nicholas.

They stopped at quite a few places. Hardly any of them sites worth visiting - after the Ivaze Point. One was a grey bower of leafless trees, another was a bridge over the River Cessabit - a rain-fed yet perennial river. Once they stopped for Alexandra to get a cool drink for Aunt Sabel who apparently did hate the summer a lot. The shopkeeper looked downright unnerved to see her there - she just told him to keep quiet, because she was keeping a low profile - took the light honey and lemon drink and went her way, making sure to have a cautious sip or two of her own from it.

Then again, they stopped to send the Carriage-driver away.

'Why?' Asked Alexandra, 'Who will drive the carriage then?'

Aunt Sabel looked as if Alexandra was a retarded girl, 'You, of course!'

It was enough. Alexandra didn't even think that Aunt Sabel was joking, anymore.

'Look aunt, I am not driving any carriage for you. You are a guest here. I am the princess. I will certainly not drive you around my own kingdom.' She clarified, the words were brave, but Alexandra didn't feel anything more than scared - and reckless.

'Oh dear, of course you will. Olivia did, but she was extremely red in the face from the people watching her at it. Now, that was amusing.'

'And what if I don't?' Alexandra asked, really wanting to punch the aunt or even better: push her down the carriage.

'I will ruin this alliance!' Aunt Sabel thundered. 'If my servants can become queens, princesses must serve me. Your father owes me. This kingdom owes me. You must repay!'

'Break it!' Alexandra yelled back, spraying her aunt with spit, 'Break the alliance! That's the best you can! Ruin it! Doveland needs no alliance like yours!' She barked, 'Are you unsteady of mind?' She questioned spitefully, '"Fan me", "upstart", "amusing" - have you lost your marbles?! Or maybe - you just need waking up!' And without a second thought, Alexandra dived beneath the seat and pulled out the flask of water that was always kept ready, in case of an emergency. She pushed the cap up and unhurriedly splattered the liquid on Aunt Sabel's face. In a moment of plain heroism, without bothering to recap it, Alexandra tossed the flask out of the carriage window.

'I told you I would repay the kind act.' She informed, rudely, pushing the gate open and stepping out. 'Take the carriage back to the Palace.' Alexandra told the driver, who obliged mutely. Aunt Sabel's expression was one of mingled disbelief and bewilderment. She seemed to have gone numb.
She decided to ride back with the entourage that secretly followed them.

Alexandra didn't realize then, just how dangerous a wet, insulted Aunt could be.

* * *

'Alexandra, you are quite early!' Olivia remarked, as soon as the former entered her chamber - the room was dark, the curtains pushed together and no lamps lit. Nowadays, Olivia's rooms were always dark and murky. For the past few years, she had seemed distant and irritable.

'Why?' Alexandra demanded at once, 'Why didn't you tell us what that sick woman asked you to do?'

'Shhhh!' Olivia warned - shutting the door, and waving the servants around them away, 'Softly, Alexandra! You didn't anger her, did you?!' She asked, her beautiful face contorted with worry and chagrin.

'I did! I told her I wouldn't drive her carriage.' Alexandra spat. 'And don't tell me I was wrong, sister, because I WAS NOT! She enjoys it, we are not here as her slaves!'

'Perhaps... you were not wrong. I agree Aunt is a sick woman. But this will cost us a lot-'

'You still care? If she breaks this alliance, it's her loss too! Besides, Doveland doesn't need any alliance with a kingdom whose queen is a mad woman. Goodness knows what sort of friendship it will even be - how does that King bear her! If I'd be in his place, I'd have her tried and executed.'

Olivia was silent, 'You - you are right, Alexandra. But can you stop being outraged? I have known her for longer than any of you. Aunt Sabel is harmless, she wouldn't actually harm anyone. Let's just go down to dinner.' She managed, looking around the room as her eyes flashed with another - different, determined light. Alexandra did not understand why. A lot of planning seemed to be going on within Olivia's mind, all these years. A strange, dangerous sort of determination. Like there was a fire of resentment within her- none of which Alexandra ever understood the reason behind.

She stared at Olivia for a second, unsure of what was going on. Then she dropped her shoulders.

'Alright- I am hungry,' Alexandra confessed, 'down to dinner we go.'

And they did.

* * *

Dinner was unnaturally quiet that evening. Aunt Sabel kept shooting Alexandra glances and answered in monosyllables. Olivia was quiet too, she looked thoughtful and played with her food. Rose and Queen Ava made some talk initially but that too fell silent soon.

Once dinner was over, King Adelard suggested, 'Why don't Alexandra, you and Nicholas go for a walk?'

'A walk?' Alexandra asked, blank.

'Yes, that would be nice. Nicholas, go.' Said Aunt Sabel, pushing her plate away.

Alexandra looked at the pale boy, she, with some difficulty, smiled. It was not returned. But they both got up and left.

Nicholas sat by the fountain, Alexandra walked around a bit, wondering if Rose had succeeded at painting it yet. She then tried for a conversation.

'Do you like you mother?' She asked, regretting as soon as she had said that. Which child did not like their mother, 'Wait I didn't want to ask th-'

'Mostly, I am ill. Mother doesn't like that.' The boy interrupted, though it wasn't what Alexandra had asked for, it appeared quite true.

'Why?'

'I suppose she wanted a healthy child...'

'Oh ... that - that is bad. Poor you.' Alexandra said.

Nicholas looked at her a bit differently, he sort of looked interested, 'Poor? How am I poor?'

'Er... like you are not ... exactly loved, are you? So ... poor, that's saying like ... I pity you.' Alexandra felt her chest tighten up the way it did when she knew she'd made a terrible mistake. Pity was not something anybody wanted. Least of all, a noble-born Prince. Out of the ocean of things she could have said, Alexandra chose - I pity you. It was almost as if some madness was controlling her. A chain of hatred: beginning with Alexandra's resentment for Nicholas' mother, seemed to have found its way to Nicholas himself. She realized Nicholas made her angry too, in the same, inexplicable way as Aunt Sabel did.

It was true. It was the biggest mistake of her life. Perhaps Saturn really was heavy on her. But whilst bringing ill luck, Saturn brought about changes too. Not necessarily unpleasant changes. Not only was it the loftiest mistake, but it also was the one incident that changed her life. Almost instantaneously, Nicholas' expression changed.

'Pity me? Why?!' He demanded, standing up at once, 'And I'm not loved?!'

'No, I didn't mean it like that.' Alexandra tried to explain, her throat going dry at the response. 'I just said that you are ... ' Alexandra searched for something right to say, 'Different.'

She then wanted to slam her palm to her face. Where was her eloquent speech gone? Why was she talking so uncontrollably? Those were unanswerable questions. Nicholas unnerved her, he had a bad aura like Aunt Sabel's. It terrified Alexandra a bit, made her act like a cornered prey: desperately. And that was the worst word she could have used. Different. It was wrong to have said that. It was thoughtless and harsh. But Alexandra was no longer completely herself, at that point.

'I am not different.' Nicholas said, through gritted teeth. 'Neither am I unloved. And I pity you!' He said.

'What?' The boy seemed to have a lot of bitterness welled up in him. When Alexandra was ill, she was bitter and complaining too. But could the blind know what it felt like to see? Alexandra had never been an empath. Nobody around her, valued that ability. In fact, she didn't feel things like that were possible - things like "putting oneself in another's shoes". 'See, I'm sorry I shouldn't ha-' She nevertheless began.

'I see you!' the boy snarled, interrupting her again, he looked very much like Aunt Sabel now, but Alexandra was not scared of him - she was just getting angrier with each passing minute. Aunt Sabel was one thing, now a nine year old boy would bark at her? Especially when she was apologizing. 'I see you!' Nicholas repeated, 'Your siblings are all better than you! Your parents love you the least. You don't have any qualities - any talents! They have sent you away, because they must be discussing what you did with mother today! Oh yes I know!' He said, all his bitterness falling on Alexandra, saying things that made her hands tremble. It was only a matter of seconds before she'd fly into a rage, Alexandra felt it. Unfortunately, she knew no way to control it. Those leaping flames of rage. 'My mother might be a little disappointed with me, but she tells me things! And tells me what a HORRIBLE person you are! What a witch you are! Don't you dare say I am piti-' But he never completed that sentence. After a very long time, Alexandra lost all control over herself, the devil was telling the stuff that had always troubled her and gnawed at her. The thoughts that had weighed her down and made her feel like an unwanted extra in her family.

She smacked the nine year old as hard as she could, right on the face, taking sharp, uneven breaths. But it was so intense that Nicholas collapsed onto the ground like a house of cards. Alexandra didn't even notice his eyes were closed. She knelt down, held his collar and - 'SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE DEVIL! YOU LIE!' She yelled, punching him once again, right on the nose, she almost saw Aunt Sabel in him - and that made her twice as angry.

But Alexandra hadn't realized what a commotion she had made. Rose rushed into the garden, 'ALEXANDRA! LEAVE HIM!' She yelled, rushing over and trying to prise her off Nicholas, Alexandra resisted, but Rose succeeded in pulling her away, 'What were you doing, Alexandra?! Why?!' She said, shaking her. Alexandra didn't reply, she was shaking with rage and she wasn't sure if she would even be able to form sentences.

'My son! My son!' Cried Aunt Sabel, haring into the garden. Right in tow behind her was Olivia, holding her yellow dress up and running in her heels, next to her was King Adelard, whose face darkened when he saw what had happened.

'He isn't dead, okay? He is just unconscious.' Alexandra murmured, as Aunt Sabel pushed her aside and Rose steadied her, still asking questions Alexandra didn't register. Aunt Sabel collected her son in her hands, but when she heard Alexandra say that he wasn't dead, she dropped him and got up and registered a burning slap on her cheek.

'YOU - YOU MAD, WRETCHED GIRL! YOU EVIL WITCH! YOU HAVE KILLED HIM! YOU'VE KILLED MY SON!' She howled.

The slap didn't hurt nearly as much as the words did.

'Wh-what?' She said, thinking that this was another bit of Aunt Sabel's oddity, 'I - I didn't! I just - slapped him...'

But as the words died down in her throat, she realized that it was true. The reason everyone appeared so grave - why Rose was holding her hands behind her back like she was delinquent who needed controlling - and why her father was standing there, shaking his head and looking defeated. The little devil indeed had destroyed something.

He had destroyed Alexandra's life.

Please vote n comment. I have got no uploading schedule- usually every Wednesday and Sunday, until the story's completed.
Any mistakes you find here? Do let me know.
The interesting parts have just started so continue reading because Alexandra's life has taken a 360 degree turn.
Lots of Love!!