"Do you get that?", he repeated with his thumb softly caressing my cheek.

Manik's words were like honey to my ears. Did he really mean that? He said he would not ever separate Manini from me. I was trying hard to believe him. His eyes looked into mine with genuine assurance. My eyes bore a plea for me to calm down and I was still exasperating for a whiff of breath, the whole emotional turmoil was taking a complete toll on me.  I tried to look elsewhere so that I could calm down but Manik's gigantic palms had clasped my face from either side. My silence was annoying him now.

"And and what was this stupidity that you were about to do? Why were you standing at the edge? I know you are hell scared so don't even think of lying and just tell me what were you up to? And where from did this crap land into head..who told you this bullshit", he was dead serious in demanding a reply to his questions.

Manik's rightful talks and behavior had never annoyed me so much as it was doing today. He well knew the reason behind my ridiculous behavior and still pretended to be ignorant. But I was in no mod to give in either.

"How does it matter to you Manik? You anyways think I am a horrible mother to Manini..I don't take care of her..I am negligent and irresponsible towards her...whatever happened was because of me..I don't deserve to have her in my life and so I don't deserve to live as well..Right??", I fisted his collar and spat out. The allegations on me sounded as accusations on him now

"What??? What shit are you talking Nandini? When did I say these things", Manik looked at me as if I had accused him of State terrorism. Mr. Malhotra had an one track brain which could conveniently skip his faulty behavior and only register my mistakes.

"Really Manik..if you don't think so then why didn't you let me go to Manini..why did you stop me?", I still couldn't forget his bare minimal words and his tone when he set his sole claim on Manini. Even if I knew Manik had uttered those words in anger but they were enough to shatter me at least. It made me feel all the more guilty.

"Uhh!! Come on Nandini...please for gods sake don't hold that against me...you know I freak out every time she gets hurt even if it is a little cut on her..you know that right...fine I agree I got a little carried away for the moment and lost my temper but that was just for that moment..but does that mean I would separate her from you...DAMN!! NO!!!", he tightened his grip on my arms to assure me of his words.

My tears were like a speeding car without brakes and every time Manik tried wiping it I jerked his hands off.

"You are lying now...just to pacify me.. I know you would have done it...you didn't speak to me...every moment of your silence killed me hundred times over..your words wouldn't have hurt me so much like your silence did", I blurted amidst my tear marathon and just for the sake of arguing. Manik tried to hold me again but I pushed him back. I wanted to let out all my frustration that had accumulated with me for so long.

"That was because I knew I was losing it and if I opened my mouth that time I would have only blurted nasty things Nandini", he kept his arguments ready in his defense.

"You had already said the most hurtful thing Manik and now all you are trying is to cover it up"

"Enough Nandini I am not going to take these baseless accusations from you..do you understand that...I have never tried to keep Manini away from you...I would have taken her long back if I wished to but..."

"But.. what but ...tell me Manik why did you stop... complete your sentence..you had pity on me..no let me put it in exactly your words...I am a big zero without you..whatever I am or I have is just because you made me and you gave me and so is Manini... right??"

Manik looked at me with utter shock in his eyes. He couldn't believe I remembered his hurtful words to me in the hospital exactly the way he had said back then. He released the stiffness in his shoulders more like surrendering. It took him a moment to settle the feeling that his words had hurt me immensely not only today but even months back.

Manik's eyes softened the moment he recalled the horrible fight between us which led to more fights and then the ultimate loss, "Nandini...I didn't mean any of it please..main gusse mein tha aur..."

Of course his standard excuse that he was angry and that gave him the license to do almost anything and everything.

"Gussa?? Gussa Manik..Really..that has like become your ultimate excuse..whatever happens you always blame it on your wild temper and expect me to understand...every single time...can you please tell me the last time when you tried to understand me", I grasped his collars and looked at him with charging eyes, "...I try to reunite your parents and you think I favored your Mom, I try to lessen the loneliness of your Dad and you think I am encouraging your Dad's weaknesses, I try to convince you and you think I am emotionally blackmailing you, I come to your office to sort things out to give you the best news of your life and you think I am resigning and taking up Harshad's offer instead, I try to nurture hope about our relationship and you think you are saving me from that Steve by stealing my designs..Wow Manik just Wow", I badgered him without even stopping to breathe. I jerked his collars once again for him to come up with a reply but he was nothing less than a statue now. I was sobbing badly and almost getting out of breath.

Manik could see how stressed I was and with the pace I was shouting and screaming I could collapse any moment, "Nandini please calm down"

"Why...why should I calm down..tell me..because you want me to..tum bolo toh khadi ho jau tum bolo toh baith jaun..am I a puppet Manik..bolo", I pushed him back with both my hands and he helplessly stepped back. Today he was really in short of answers or at least I thought so.

Manik was trying his best to mellow me down but I was literally in a hyperventilating mode. I kept on accusing him one by one and now even his patience level had reached the borderline.

"Stop it Nandini...okay so you knew everything na then why did you let these misunderstandings creep in between us...fine I accept my temper ruined everything but you knew how sensitive I was regarding my parents still you didn't think it was needed to be discussed with me..you straight away called Dad and did whatever you wanted to..all the while I was clueless about everything...you hid from me that you were pregnant...god dammit!! I am the father of the baby..how could you just hide the fact from me...you were the more sensible between the two of us na then why did you let me drift away from you...I stood there getting humiliated by your Mom, waiting for a single gesture from you for US but you kept quiet that just reiterated what your Mom was saying that I don't deserve you", he defended himself with sheer helplessness in his eyes.

Did he really mean that? Or I was over analyzing. His complaint was why didn't I support him in front of Mom. It actually took me a moment to gulp down the allegation. The very man who after being slapped by my Mom didn't leave my hand, after being insulted numerous times didn't leave me alone in Ahmedabad couldn't withstand two harsh words from Mom who was instead more than broken to see the plight of her daughter. How could I possibly go against my Mom when my own man had let me down

"Oh so what were you expecting me to do Mr. Manik Malhotra..fight with Mom... for you who had hurt me to no end", I had lost it to no limit at his counter allegations on me.

I was screaming like a maniac by now. I rambled things which hardly made sense even to me. I just charged him and kept on pushing him backwards and now even the ever so suave Mr. Malhotra was losing it. He tried to stop me a number of times but I was literally on a mood to fight a wrestling match with him. I couldn't believe a while back I was so vulnerable that I wanted to end my life and now I was ready to take one my 6'2 feet husband head on head. Manik had some power to give me a complete 360 degree rollover. I was almost out of his control now; he dodged and covered to save himself.

"Nandini can you please calm down for heaven sake", it sounded more like a warning rather than a plea and when I didn't he came forward and grabbed my hand, "I exactly know how to cool you down", he gritted his jaws together and grabbed me by my buttocks and swept me like a gunny sack over his shoulders. I punched and flapped with my free hand and screamed for help as if I was being abducted in the middle of the ocean. It was pretty late in the night still a few staff doing rounds saw us but none dared to cross Manik's path. In fact they found it amusing, probably they had never seen a couple fight like cats and dogs and that was not enough that they cleared the area to give us some more privacy. One of them giggled behind the tray in her hand and her colleague yanked her inside before I called out for help. I dangled my legs and scratched Manik's back with my brutal yet manicured nails at least he wouldn't get any infections but then who cared.

"Last time...will you calm down or not", he warned again and I was too busy imprinting my nails on his back that I didn't realize where he had gotten me. I huffed like a bull and jerked my legs to get down, "So now don't blame me", and before I could figure out, he twirled me and me threw me in open air.

Almost in a nanosecond I was in loss of my senses because it was water everywhere, Eyes, ears, nose and mouth whatever it was clogged and jammed with water only. Just sometime back I had saved myself form this horrible experience and now I was back to it and all thank to my eccentric husband. I coughed and flapped my hands trying to find an anchor and I did. I found a rock like figure and almost climbed onto it, panting badly. Shit!! I would have just drowned. How on earth had I even thought of jumping into the ocean, there were probably a 1000 better ways out.

"Are you cool now..umm I mean have you coo..led down", the jerk spoke breathing life into the rock that I was clinging too. I was too busy in thanking my stars that I was alive than looking at him but when I did a horrible scowl appeared on my face. He held me by my waist and pulled me up closer to his face, "Sorry for this but you really needed it", he licked his lips sheepishly and brought me back to the poolside. I was dripping like a soaked cat and literally shivering partly because of the chilly wind and partly because of my fury that denied dying down. I was losing it big time now. How dare he do that to me? Fine I know I was behaving like a maniac but that was too because of this jerk.

Manik stood at a somewhat 3 feet distance from me and was trying hard to purse his laughter seeing me like that. A slight giggle escaped his lips and my already soaring high temper sky rocketed in a split second. I didn't bother for a warning and took a step swirled a feisty punch hitting hard right through his jaw.

THWACK!!!!

There was a moment's silence amongst the silence that already prevailed. Manik was completely stumped and it took him a moment to realize that I had punched him. I sensed his nerves tighten and bones crackle and a fierce glare took over. He moved his thumb over the corner of his lips to stop the thin stream of blood that trickled down.

And as expected he too reacted without a warning. He grabbed my head with one of his hand and pulled me in for a ruthless kiss and separated on the very next second.

"And that is how you get punished for hitting me", he licked the traces of my lip color gracing his lips now.

"How dare you?", I grumbled under my breath and without another thought I raised my left hand and slapped him on the other cheek. Yes I wanted to give him variety besides I was considerate enough to not hit him on the same side and hurt him more and that jerk answered me with another force full kiss.

I gasped for breath when he left me again with a satisfying smile playing on his lips, "Every time you do it...this is how I will respond"

I slapped him again but this time it was more like a light brush on his face as if I wanted an excuse to be responded by his kiss and he stood by his words as he gently pressed his lips on mine. I felt so low and fatigued. I hung my head low and my nose sniffled and the shoulders quaked in a rhythm.

Since the time we had known each other Manik had almost viewed every cent of my mood swings, be it happiness, love, anger, jealousy or hatred but one thing he couldnt handle was the crying me. It was indeed strange of him, the same man who found it funny when girls cried went almost clueless when he saw me crying well that went for Manini too. Besides we mother daughter made sure we cried the loudest when Manik was around. It was not just to bug him but more because we knew he couldnt see us like that and would do almost everything in his power to make us feel better.

So I continued sobbing and Manik tried to look at my face but I didn't give in. He swiftly came by my side and swept me into his arms.

"Let me heal you tonight", he whispered softly into my ears and walked inside as I hid my face in his chest and just cried. Yes I wanted to be healed...healed by him.

Why do I feel d response I mean in terms of comments n likes is going down?