^^^

"...explain everything, starting with 'I'm going to ruin my nonexistent relationship with [name]."

"February 16 could've been a page out of a fanfiction!"

"He mentioned the hot slides! RETREAT!"

"YIPP!"

"Me, ranting about love"

"Like I could do anything from jumping on tables to shooting [Name] with a rubber band (both of which I did)"

" February 16. Enough has been said. "

"…he stood against the wall and said, "You can't see me; I am Wall.""

"Me being his mom in countless skits..."

"…and I guess Monday Night decided to hand me a full plate of courage."

" tHis iS mY fInaL cHanCe" (it's actually written like that)

"(I'm only redacting the name because I honestly don't remember who it was)"

"Like when I told [name], she absolutely lost it and set a reminder on her phone to beat him up."

" Yeah, I'll make your tacos well. Spit. "

"...got a marshmallow dino and a cardboard cutout of Will Roland."