19th March 2012

It was nearly two in the afternoon and I was still in bed. While it could have been due to my late night with Isaiah, I was mostly still in bed because I wanted to avoid seeing him.

I felt like I had made things awkward because I had declined his kiss and also because we had gotten really close really fast. I thought we were moving too fast and I didn't want to rush things with him.

I was really trying to avoid him and opened the bedroom door to check if anyone was upstairs with me. When I deemed it safe for me to leave, I ran to the bathroom.

I was in such a hurry, I didn't even check to see if anyone was in the bathroom. Isaiah was in the shower. I mentally cursed myself for not noticing the light was on in the bathroom. I was going to leave but I had been holding in my pee for too long and my bladder felt like it was going to burst if I didn't release soon.

He hadn't noticed me yet and his music was playing so I thought I had a good chance to do my business and get out without being seen.

I tried to close the door silently but that failed miserably as it creaked loudly. I closed my eyes in frustration. I hoped he didn't hear.

"Who's that?" He asked. I stayed still, praying he couldn't see me. He turned the shower off as I didn't respond. I felt him staring at me but I just stared at the door.

"I need to wee." I said after a while. He nodded although I wasn't looking at him. He went back to showering as I used the toilet.

I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I realised I would have to face him sooner or later so I decided to talk to him while he was in the shower. I wouldn't have to actually see him and that was beneficial for me.

"Sorry about last night." I started.

"Don't worry about it." He replied quickly.

"I'm coming out if you want to turn around." He said. I turned my back to the shower.

"I feel so bad about it Isaiah."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I stopped you and you wanted to. I wanted to. I should have let you but I was just so scared. I don't really know how to kiss and if I did it wrong I wouldn't want you to see me as a kid. I didn't want to disappoint you." I rambled. I realised how long I had been talking and sighed.

"Riah, there's no way you could ever disappoint me. You're not ready to kiss me yet, I get that. Maybe I was moving too fast for you, but it's okay, we can do this at your pace."

"Are you sure?" I turned around. I was not prepared to see him as he was. Standing in just his towel. I felt myself blush as naughty thoughts cascaded to the forefront of my mind.

"I'm positive." He watched me humorously as I tried my hardest to keep eye contact. He could see my struggle and found it amusing. I turned around so I would stop checking him out.

"I should get going." I said. I opened the door and looked to see him place his hand on it, closing it again. He hovered above me and I felt my heart rate accelerating.

"You don't need to be afraid of telling me how you feel. I'd rather you tell me when you're ready and stop me when you're not, instead of us doing things and you be upset about it. I'm not gonna judge you for saying no." He reassured me.

I turned around. "Thank you." I nodded. He smiled.

"Can I get a hug?" His eyes searched my face.

"Sure." I wrapped my arms around his body and he did the same. I sighed as I hugged him. It felt so right being in his arms. He made me feel safe and wanted.

"I love your hugs." His voice was gentle. I chuckled.

"I love yours. You're so soft." I commented. His skin was buttery smooth and I kept moving my hands, stroking his back.

"Thanks. It's cocoa butter." He replied. I laughed and pulled away.

"You're funny."

"I agree." He winked, making me laugh again. We stood in silence momentarily.

"I love how you don't wear makeup and you're still so beautiful." He whispered. I grinned.

"Thank you."

"Do you even realise how beautiful you are? Like it's incredible how much beauty you possess."

"Aww, Isaiah you're gonna make me blush." I smirked.

"It's the truth." He smiled. I grinned at him and went in for another hug.

I got breakfast and was giving the little ones their lunch when Amber walked into the kitchen.

"Hey." I looked up at her. She glanced at me and cut her eyes. Okay? She pulled out some makeup thing from her pocket and began applying it to her face.

"Are you alright?" I asked. She looked at me and sneered, continuing to apply the makeup. I placed my hands on my hips and stared at her.

"What did I do?" I questioned, genuinely confused. She ignored me again.

"Amber, hey, I don't know why you're mad at me-"

She rolled her eyes and huffed before slamming the makeup on the counter and storming out. Isaiah walked in and gave me a confused look.

"I don't know what's wrong with her, she won't talk to me." I complained.

"I'm sure she's fine. Probably just boy trouble." He shrugged. I nodded although I didn't agree. I was the only person she was being hostile to.

I took a shower and was currently on my phone when Mrs Duboe knocked on the door.

"Oh sorry I didn't realise you weren't dressed yet. Me and Isaiah were meant to take the kids down to the park but I have some errands to run so would you be willing to go with him instead?" She asked. I nodded and she smiled. I got dressed in my usual clothing; long sleeve top and jogging bottoms. I brushed my hair into a low ponytail and put my air forces and body warmer on.

We arrived at the park and Isaiah and I played with the kids for a bit before we got tired and sat on a bench watching them play close by. I looked around feeling eyes on me.

A group of 3 boys stood a little way away looking in our direction. I looked behind me to see if they might've been staring at something behind us but it became very clear that they were staring at me and Isaiah. I tapped his thigh.

"Don't make it bait, but you see them boys over there?" I gestured their direction with my head.

"They keep staring at us." I said quietly even though I knew they couldn't hear.

"Probably just jealous." He laughed.

"I mean who wouldn't be? I've got this gorgeous girl sitting next to me." He whispered into my ear. I faced him and smiled.

"Boy stop." I pushed his chest and he grabbed my hand.

"Are you alright?" I asked him.

"Are you?"

"Yeah-"

"Then yes, I am." He let go of my hand and laughed.

"Those kids are having so much fun." He nodded. I looked at the kids as they ran and screamed.

"Yeah they are." I smiled. Kacey saw me looking at them and ran over to where we were sitting.

"Hello." She climbed onto my lap and grinned at me.

"Well hello there munchkin." I kissed her forehead.

"You having fun?" Isaiah asked. She nodded and gave us both a hug before running off to rejoin the rest. I laughed. Little kids running is one of the funniest things ever.

"Aye Isaiah!" A voice called. I looked around to see a dude in trackies looking at us. He was medium height and had skin a bit darker than Isaiah's.

Isaiah recognised him and left me to go and talk to him. I watched the kids and saw Kacey fall.

I quickly jogged over to where she was and looked her over. She had scraped her knee. I picked her up and when I looked up, the boys from earlier were in my face.

They looked a bit older than me, about Isaiah's age or older.

"Can I help you?" I asked, politely.

"Are you Isaiah's ting?" One asked. He had light skin and scruffy facial hair. His eyes were dull and brown and his hood was up, covering his hair.

"Excuse me?" I frowned.

"Yeah, we saw you lot getting comfortable on the bench. Are you his girl?"

"Why does it matter?" I looked him up and down.

"Just want to know innit."

"Kay, well you don't need to know." I frowned.

"Rah pure attitude." A second boy said. He had dark skin and pearly white teeth.

"Why should I have to explain myself to you? You're a stranger." I rolled my eyes.

"Aye you didn't even answer my question though. It's a yes or no answer." The light skin guy spoke again.

"It doesn't matter, excuse me." I pushed past him and his friends beckoning the children to walk in front of me to the bench.

"What? I'm still talking to you-"

"Cool, I'm not talking to you so goodbye." I cut him off. He grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"Are you dumb? Don't walk away while I'm chatting to you, that's disrespectful."

"Who are you for me to respect you? I don't know you, I dont know if you deserve my respect but you're making it clear that you're not worthy therefore I will continue to disrespect you. Goodbye." I turned around again.

"Do you want to die today?"

"Do you? I recommend you get your filthy phalanges from me, I will not hesitate to put you in your place. Talk about fucking respect, what gives you the right to touch me? Fuck off." Kacey covered her ears as I swore and I put her down so she could run to the other kids.

"She thinks this is a fucking joke." The dark skinned boy laughed.

"Nah I don't but clearly you do." I looked at him. I returned my focus to the guy who had a grip on my arm.

"I will put you in an ambulance if you're not careful. Get off me." My anger was beginning to rise and I clenched my fist.

"What, do you want to fight?"

"For your sake, I'm hoping it doesn't come to that. Get off my arm."

"Or what?" He pulled me closer to him.

Someway, somehow, Isaiah had managed to get beside me silently and quickly pulled the light skin guy from me, throwing him to the floor.

"Leave her alone, Jamaree." He stood in front of me protectively. Jamaree's pride was obviously hurt as he stood quietly, not saying a word. Isaiah turned away from the boys and we started to walk away but upon hearing what Jamaree said Isaiah spun back around.

"Fuck you and your dutty Jessica number two." He had gotten way too confident.

I tried to stop him but he pushed me aside and well I'm guessing you already know what happened next. Yep. Isaiah beat the crap out of Jamaree. I didn't want the kids to see so I tried to turn them away from the fight but at the same time I was calling Isaiah trying to get him to stop. I didn't want to leave the kids alone either.

Jamaree's two friends tried to jump in but Isaiah wasn't having any of it and started his attack on them too.

I couldn't let him carry on and I tried to pull him away from the boys. It took a while but I was able to and I let him calm down before we returned to the kids.

We walked back home silently, I didn't want to say anything that would anger him.

Me and the kids watched T.V for a bit before I made them dinner and allowed them to play in the garden for a while before bath time.

Isaiah went straight to his room when we got in and I didn't bother him until it was late and I was going to sleep.

I changed into shorts and a vest top and put my hair up in a high loose bun. I knocked on his door gently and waited for a response but I didn't get one. I walked in and saw him laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. He only had on basketball shorts and socks.

I closed the door behind me.

"Are you alright?" I asked. He sighed. I crawled onto the bed and lay beside him.

"Talk to me." I urged.

"I don't know, them man just piss me off."

"Why'd Jamaree call me Jessica number two? Do I look like her or something?" I asked. He glanced at me and laughed. He sat up and reached under the bed. He got out a small metal box and gave it to me. I looked at him and he nodded for me to open it.

The box had some pictures in it along with some money and other small stuff. I picked up the pictures, scanning through them. The first picture was of Isaiah and this pretty girl. She had olive skin and dark hair perched on top of her head in a messy bun. Her eyes were piercing green and she had a small button nose. Her smile was genuine and she had cute pink chubby cheeks. Her eyes were small when she smiled and she looked tiny stood next to Isaiah. She looked a tad bit familiar but I knew I had never seen or met her before.

"That's her." He said. I nodded. She was gorgeous. My heart ached that she wasn't alive anymore. I looked through the rest of the pictures of her. She had gotten blonde highlights in the newer pictures and I was truly gobsmacked. She looked so gently and fragile, I don't know what made Charlie harm her, she truly looked like the kindest person ever.

"I'm sorry." I handed the pictures back to him.

"It's not your fault."

"She doesn't look like me though." I looked at him.

"Yeah but she used to take the kids to the park with me. She was really good with them, like you. That's probably why he said that." He yawned. I nodded. He put the box back and lay down.

"You tired?" I asked. He nodded.

"A little bit."

"Oh okay, goodnight." I got up and he pulled me back.

"Nah, stay." He looked me in my eyes.

"You're going bed though."

"Yeah, so what? Stay." He pouted. I laughed and lay down. He pulled me closer to him and I placed my head on his chest. He was so comfy. I was in his arms and he held me tight to him.

"I'm not going anywhere." I giggled.

"Well technically you'll be going home soon." His chest vibrated as he spoke and I sighed in bliss.

"That's true. But I don't even want to think about that." I closed my eyes.

"Okay, cool. Think about me then." He said. I laughed loudly.

"I'm always thinking about you." I said quietly, more to myself than him.

"Rah that's mad because I'm always thinking about you too." I could hear the smile on his face. I grinned.

"Mm I've got you all happy now ahlie." He said. I laughed.

"Proper."

"You make me happy as well." He sighed.

"That's good."

"Very good." He agreed. He sighed again.

"Look, when you go, I don't want you to forget about me."

"I won't."

"I mean it. I'm a better person when I'm around you and for some reason, you make me feel happier just by me being in your presence. There's something special about you and I know we haven't even known each other for two months but it feels like I've known you all my life. I don't want to lose you or lose what we have when you go home." He rambled. I raised my head from his chest and looked up at him.

"You won't lose me. We might not be together physically but I'm always going to be thinking about you. I'm always going to want to come back and see you and I promise I will. I love being with you so if that means coming to visit every few days or coming to stay the weekend, I will make the journey because you mean as much to me as I mean to you." I smiled. A grin appeared on his face and I laughed.

"Would you really?"

"Of course. Maybe I can even bring Rianne with me and you can meet her." I suggested.

"Yeah, I would like that." He nodded. I stared at him. He was looking delectable at this moment and I knew now I was truly ready to kiss him.

He bent his neck so his face could reach mine and I closed my eyes, pouting slightly as I awaited his lips.

His kiss was so gentle and his lips were way softer than I thought they were going to be. He kissed me again before his hand slid from my waist to my bum, making me breathe in sharply. He flipped us over so I was on my back and he was positioned between my legs. He watched me intently before we locked lips again, harder this time. My stomach was filled with butterflies and I knew then that Isaiah was the one for me.

"Tell me when to stop." He huffed, kissing me again.

"What?" I opened my eyes and looked at him as he stopped kissing me.

"Tell me when to stop." He repeated, breathlessly. I was about to ask him what he meant before he dived into my neck, kissing me there instead.

That was the first time I had ever gotten kissed on the neck, obviously, and I was stunned by how good it felt, how much pleasure I got from it. I gasped in response to the kisses before holding him in place as he continued attacking my neck.

"Fuck Isaiah." I whispered. That's all I could get out to be honest. I felt him smile on my neck as he chuckled lowly. My nether regions started to feel funny and this is what I concluded was what was felt when a girl was horny.

"Feels good?" He asked.

"Very." I replied, as his hands stroked my back. He chuckled again before continuing his assault.

His hands roamed my body as we kissed, sliding from my waist to my thighs. He grabbed my bum and I pulled him into me, deepening the kiss. We moaned in harmony as I felt his hardness on me. My very first moan. He stopped, and sat up, my legs still wrapped around him.

We shared a few seconds of eye contact before he dropped his gaze to my chest. I smiled slightly as his eyez widened when he noticed my nipples standing to attention underneath my vest top. He looked at my face, then my chest before returning his gaze to my face.

"May I?" He asked. Bless, he was asking for permission. I nodded eagerly and he wasted no time.

His hands were underneath my top immediately, cupping my breasts and playing with my stiff nipples. I watched as he massaged them, played with them, making sure what he was doing to one he was doing to the other.

He stopped after a few minutes and looked at me with questioning eyes. I nodded, giving him permission to remove my vest top.

I didn't feel naked like I probably would have with any other guy. He made me feel wanted and special and I still felt like my body was mine and not his property that he used for entertainment.

I know I had only just turned 16 and this wasn't particularly something a 16 year old should be doing but he made me feel so comfortable and I felt like he wouldn't hurt me or do any of this just for his benefit, it felt like he was doing this for me too.

"So beautiful. " He whispered. My smile widened before he dropped his head into my chest, his hands fondling and his mouth licking and sucking.

When I look back at it, I still wouldn't change anything about that moment, to me it was special and couldn't have been anymore perfect. I felt the love he had for me, I felt that he cared immensely for me and I had allowed the right person to do those things with me.

We didn't go any further that night, there was no need to. Though we were both horny, I think we both knew that sex was a bit far fetched. After all, I was waiting for marriage and I let him know that. He didn't have a problem with it at all and in fact praised me for having that mentality. He told me he wished he had waited. He rushed into doing it because he felt that everyone else was doing it. He was 13 when he lost his. Way too young. He told me he regretted it. He should have at least waited for the right person because it would be so much more special. He laughed, joked and said he was sorry that he didn't wait for me to come into his life. He would have loved it if I was the one who took his virginity as he would take mine once we were married. Him saying that made me smile, he would wait for us to cement our relationship before we had sex and I was truly grateful.