https://youtu.be/AB7fEnWyZ1k

Walking into Trisha's kitchen knowing she would have to face Ryker made for some sweaty palms.

"I can make him leave," Trisha had reassured her after she'd told Emmie about Ryker's unscheduled appearance.

Emmie shook her head vehemently. "No, I can't let you do that. He's your brother. It makes sense that he'd want to spend Christmas with his family after his own plans got cancelled. I should be the one to leave."

Trisha grabbed hold of her wrist. "That is not happening. Dan will be heartbroken if you don't stay for dinner. The kids will be crushed. Christmas will never be the same to them again and their belief in Santa will die. I'll drink way too much and curse at Ryker. Well, that last bit will probably happen regardless of if you stay or go, but..."

Emmie laughed. "I don't want to go. And really, I have to get over this." Get over him, she wanted to say. "Moon Beach is a small town, I work for his family and... you're my best friend here."

"Aww!" Trisha put an arm around Emmie's shoulder and pressed her friend to her.

"So, we have to get used to seeing each other. It's been weeks since we parted ways. It's going to be weird at first, but we have to act like adults and get over ourselves."

Trisha squeezed her shoulder again. "'Act like adults.' That's so cute! I'm sure you won't have trouble with that, but my brother isn't exactly a textbook example of emotional maturity."

"It won't be easy for either of us, I'm sure." Emmie sighed. "I wish he wasn't here, believe me. But he is and so am I. I wouldn't want to scar Penelope and Rhys for life, so I guess... this is happening."

Trisha gestured towards the kitchen. "Well then, my advice is to get the initial 'oh shit, I have to talk to my ex' over with. Just say hi, ask him how his robots are doing, and then say you're on your way to go see the kids. They're in the backyard."

Outside of turning around and walking the half mile back to her apartment, that sounded like the best plan at her disposal. Into the kitchen Emmie went. Naturally, the moment she entered the room, it became apparent that Dan and Ryker were talking about her.

"What might Emmie do?"

Dan had the good grace to turn back to the stove, red faced. Ryker met her gaze dead on. The tension in his jaw gave him the look of a sharpshooter about to pull the trigger. After a pause, though, he lowered his weapon and his face softened.

"So, this is awkward. I didn't know you were coming until I showed up here. I just wanted you to know, I didn't mean to ambush you on Christmas Eve."

Emmie bit her tongue to avoid saying something she might regret. Well, maybe she wouldn't regret it, but Ryker certainly would. Typical arrogant Ryker, having to make it known that he'd done nothing wrong. He was merely an innocent lamb whose presence was sure to be so emotionally tumultuous for her, it must be compared to a roadside bombing.

After a slight pause, she was ready to speak in complete, expletive-free sentences. "Oh, you don't have to worry about me. I was just thinking how difficult this would be for you." She began to lower the zipper on her jacket, revealing the sizeable cleavage her red blouse put on display. Ryker's gaze slid down to where her fingers lingered. "Oh, wait." She zipped her jacket up again. "The kids are outside, aren't they? Trisha said they wanted to see me as soon as I got here. I better stay bundled up."

She stepped past Ryker on her way to the sliding glass door leading out to the patio and the yard beyond it. As she did so, she touched his hand gently, ignoring the electricity that shot up her arm. "It's okay, Ryker. Really."

He tensed up again, this time not just his jaw but his whole body. His whispered words were almost lost on her as she slid open the door. "Maybe for you it is."

Shutting her eyes for a moment, she refused to look back at him and instead proceeded out into the fresh air, closing the door behind her. She could have handled that better, dammit. Her emotional maturity might not be any more advanced than his. Then again, maybe he'd deserved a bit of karmic payback. Maybe she did as well, though.

The kid's boisterous laughter soon overtook her and the next minutes were spent distracted from her thoughts. When Dan called them for dinner, the children each took a hand and led her inside. Trisha had added a setting to the table, strategically placing Ryker and her on opposite corners. She spent most of dinner complimenting Dan on his cooking and listening to Rhys talk about his pet hamster, Henrietta.

"Henrietta loves carrots. She doesn't like having her belly scratched."

"These sweet potatoes are amazing. Is that cayenne and... what else?"

"I got Henrietta after Harriet died. Harriet was a Winter White. Henrietta's a Golden. They live longer."

"Of course, I'll have more salad. And cranberry sauce. You really need to give me the recipe. Out of everything here, I think I could manage to make that."

"Henrietta poops a lot."

"Rhys, you know you're not supposed to bring up that subject at the table."

Emmie was relaxed by this point. Iola and Marilyn provided a welcome buffer, spinning tales of Christmases past and discussing with embarrassing openness details of their current love lives that went right to the line of what was appropriate to discuss around a five and seven-year-old. Emmie was grateful for it all. Between them and the kids, she didn't have to talk to Ryker any more, didn't even have to look at him. If the night progressed like this, it wouldn't be entirely unenjoyable.

Since Dan had done the cooking, Trisha insisted on cleaning up, and Emmie quickly volunteered to help her. It wasn't until after they'd cleared the table and gotten a first load of dishes in the dishwater that they rejoined the family in the living room.

Iola sat at the piano, her fingers at the ready. "Dan refused to begin until you finished up."

Emmie scanned the room. Everyone stood casually around the piano, even Ryker, though his gaze was turned away from her. "What are we doing?"

"We're going to sing Christmas carols!" Penelope clapped her hands. "And you're going to sing too!"

Christmas carols after Christmas dinner. Just like back home. An unwelcome pressure formed behind her eyes. "Oh no, I.."

Trisha tugged on her arm. "Come on, it will be fun."

Before she could finish her objection, Iola had launched into "Angels We Have Heard on High." This was followed by "Jingle Bells," "Winter Wonderland," and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."

Emmie sang with a smile on her face, but each song sparked a memory that made her heart heavy. She should have been gathered around a different piano tonight, with her mother sitting at the keys and her young niece suggesting which song they sing next.

It wasn't so much the song itself that did it for her as it was the culmination of everything leading up to that moment – Marilyn suggested "All I Want for Christmas is You" because it reminded her of her newest fling.

It reminded Emmie of her latest "fling" as well. She was grateful that she had what she needed. But as she stood in Trisha's festive living room, her desires pressed in, nagging her with the knowledge that her life was missing certain crucial elements – her family, the freedom to go where she wanted, to be who she wanted to be without fear of it resulting in a violent death. Ryker was just the icing on the cake of her wants – the aftershock of her earthquake of a life that was finally causing the walls around her to crumble.

She'd thought she was fine, had acted so coolly towards him, but now... now she was swaying on her feet, sure that when the walls finally fell, she would fall with them.

"Emmie? Emmie, are you okay?" Trisha's concerned face was right in front of her and she didn't even know that had happened. Had she fainted? No, she was still upright.

"You don't look well. Do you want to sit down?"

Emmie shook her head and took the opportunity to peruse the faces of everyone else in the room. They were all focused on her, even Ryker. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she caught his gaze and saw in it an unmistakable mix of pain and concern.

"I have to go." Miraculously, her legs still knew how to move. She backed her way out of the room and retrieved her coat from a hook next to the door.

Trisha was right behind her. "Emmie, what happened? Please don't go!"

She slid into her jacket. "It's okay, everything's fine. I just... I'm tired. Must be the turkey. Everything's fine."

"If you have to say 'Everything's fine' more than once, usually it's not."

Ignoring this, Emmie gave Trisha a hug. "Enjoy your night. Merry Christmas and all that."

"Emmie!" Now Trisha looked like she might cry as well. Behind her, A figure stood in the shadow between the alcove and the living room. She knew who that was.

Trisha wasn't going to let her go easily. "I miss my family, Trisha. I miss them and I can't ever see them again and I can't tell you why and I hate that I can't tell you why and I hate that seeing all of you so happy is making me miserable but right now, that's the truth and so I have to leave." She gulped, ready to say one more thing for the benefit of the shadow still lurking around the corner. "I thought Ryker might be able to break that chain of misery but it wasn't right to put that burden on him, not when I can't be honest with him or with you or with anyone. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I have to go."

She pulled away from Trisha and raced out the door, dashing through their yard and down the road, praying that no one would follow her, yet hoping with an irrational hope that maybe Ryker would.

No one came. She walked home to the silence of a starless sky under a cloud canopy, the roar of ocean waves distant enough that they were no more than a mewing kitten. No one knocked on her door that night. The only communication was a text from Trisha. "You're welcome here anytime. Ryker feels bad, honest! Please call me when you can. Take care of yourself. Xoxoxo."

She would take care of herself, all right. Self-care with The Muppet's Christmas Carol and a bar of dark chocolate never sounded better.

Twenty minutes after arriving home, she was tear-free, if not completely emotionally stable. Cozy in her fleece pajamas, Emmie patted the small bump on her belly. "Merry Christmas to us." She bit into the bar and flicked on the television.

https://youtu.be/yhuKest_nuI

A/N: I've included Michael Bublé's version of "All I Want for Christmas is You" because Iola adores him! Fun fact... "The Muppet's Christmas Carol" is my favorite Christmas movie. The scene above was in the original movie but was cut from most DVD/widescreen releases. Which is a damn shame. It's so beautiful and sad.

So, the good news is... dinner went surprisingly well! Emmie learned about hamsters and Dan's cooking was divine. Bad news... the after-dinner entertainment did not go quite so smoothly. Where can these two possibly go from here? I feel bad for both of them now, and even for Trisha. She tried so hard to be a good hostess and keep everyone happy.

Thank you for your readership! Since this story began featuring a week ago, many more of you have found your way here. I'm so grateful! Your votes today will go to keep Henrietta the hamster in juicy carrots as well as providing a proper grave marker for Harriet. RIP.

Today's dedication is for awesome reader RachaelMole who is also the awesome founder of the #visible campaign official-visible which seeks to support disabled writers and promote disabled characters. This is a wonderful campaign and I urge you to check it out. Rachael is also a fellow Ambassador and is an awesome writer so give her profile some love too!