The garden outside the cabin was slowly beginning to spread. Each plant was thriving under Aria's obsessive care, but every time she tended to them, she knew it wouldn't be enough for what she needed.

Medicine was a difficult thing to acquire, especially for serious wounds. They were kept under lock and key with cameras and cautious eyes in shops and medical facilities. Sneaking out of the cabin to steal small amounts here and there was difficult. Even if that wasn't the case, Aria could feel Alex look at her strangely as her disappearances grew more frequent. There were only so many times she could go for a stroll before it was obvious she was lying.

No, these herbs would have to do for now. She could squirrel them away with the medications she had collected. It was better than nothing.

A shadow appeared overhead, blocking the sun off. "What are you up to?" Klaus asked suspiciously.

Aria blinked up at him, raising dirt-covered hands and hoping she looked as confused as she should. "Gardening."

Klaus squinted at her, clearly not buying it. He was an open book. That seemed like a flaw for an Elite, but it was a sweet quality. "The Elites are already losing their minds over what we did. If we do it a second time -"

"I'm not asking you to do anything," Aria broke in. "And I don't see what going through that a second time would accomplish anyway."

It wasn't a lie. Aria had no intention to do the same thing twice. She did plan on doing something, she just wasn't sure what yet.

"There's no way you're not thinking of doing something," he accused. "You've been way too calm about things not going our way after we leaked that footage."

Aria tried to focus on propagating the yarrow in front of her. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell Klaus, but her current idea was barely that. He'd disapprove, maybe even tell the others out of concern.

Klaus flicked dirt at her when she didn't say anything. She crammed a leaf into his mouth as revenge.

He scrambled back, wide-eyed and spitting, torn between shock and disgust. "You little shit!"

"I think I'm a couple of months older than you," Aria said dryly.

Klaus grabbed a handful of dirt, rearing his arm back to throw it when Eli emerged from the path. "You were right about Aria," Klaus told her in lieu of a greeting. "She's awful and we should throw her out into the woods."

Eli's jaw was tense, the look in her eye reminiscent of the time she interrogated that Hunter. Even though she was looking at Klaus, Aria was overcome with the sudden urge to run. Instead, she wiped the dirt off her hands and stood up, eyes darting between the two.

"I made soup," Aria said. "It's on the stove if you want some."

Eli nodded without looking at her and went inside.

Klaus seemed to sag in relief. "You saw that, right? She was ready to kill me. I don't even know what I did. You can't leave me alone. She won't kill me if there's a witness."

"She would."

"Aria!" he cried.

"Well, it's true."

"It's fine," he told himself. "She'll kill you instead when she has that soup."

Aria paused. "What was wrong with the soup?"

"She doesn't eat spicy food. She'll have it and be pissed off at you instead."

"It's not that spicy." Aria peeled off the gloves she was wearing and brushed the dirt off her jeans. "I'm sure it's nothing."

"I think she suspects I had something to do with the leak."

That could be a problem.

The shower was running when Aria went back in. Although she wasn't asked to, Aria went up to the office she'd been caught in a few weeks ago and shuffled through papers for confirmation of what Klaus suspected.

When Aria flipped open the file at the bottom of the pile, she found a photo of herself staring back. Some of the information was older - test scores and interviews from teachers and neighbors. But there was newer information written by hand too.

Aria's nerves were going haywire as she read through the pages. There was mention of her scars, how she fought, and potential weaknesses. What Eli could glean of her time in the facilities and the extent of her abilities. Things about her personality and possible manipulation she might be susceptible to.

Aria committed it all to memory before leaving it as she found it, heart heavy in her chest and gut churning. Did Klaus know? Did Alex? Did they help? There were things here that hadn't happened with Eli present. It wasn't like she trusted any of them completely, but something about the whole thing stung.

Aria wasn't entirely naive. Eli's promise to burn everything down with her had been a transparent appeal to Aria's resentment. Aria had allowed it, because even though it was manipulation, it was something she thought she could use. It was easy to tell early on that Eli was trying to figure out how to best use her. She didn't know if the three of them planned on giving her a choice. It didn't seem like it.

Aria could always ask upfront, but there was no guarantee she wouldn't be dragged to the Elites kicking and screaming. It wasn't worth risking some sort of involuntary recruitment. The Elites would want to use her as a weapon. Maybe it was unlikely, but they might treat her the same way the government did. Poked and prodded and tortured for results. No matter how much Aria wanted to help, she wouldn't place herself in anyone else's hands like that. Not even the Elites.

The scars across the expanse of her back ached. She could swear she heard electricity sparking behind her.

Aria found herself outside, like being a few feet away from the others would be enough to ease her. Her gaze fell to herbs she'd planted and another wave of rage washed over her. Aria wanted to rip them out by the roots and scream. She crouched before them and dug her nails into the ground, wanting nothing more than to set everything ablaze.

The front door swung open and Alex flinched as soon as he stepped out, hand flying to his head in pain.

Aria took a big gulp of air and tried swallowing down her emotions. Drowning in her own misery was harming more than just herself. She needed to get it under control.

Control. Control. Control.

Now Alex just seemed more alarmed than he was to begin with, but at least he didn't look like he was in pain. "That cannot be healthy."

Aria shrugged. That was a problem for later.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Alex made a sympathetic sound. Even though she had stifled her rage into something nearly nonexistent, she wanted to reach over and shake him until the truth fell loose.

Is your kindness real? Do you care about me half as much as you seem to or do you just want me to grow attached to you?

Would an honest answer change anything? Aria was so deprived of any gentleness, she just might feign ignorance if it turned out to be fake. She liked when Alex asked her if she ate or how she slept. She liked how it felt when he rolled his eyes when she fell prey to some of Klaus' antics like an indulgent older brother. It was a luxury to be cared for.

Aria wanted to laugh. Maybe she was still the child that used to chase after her parents with report cards and trophies, hoping for a scrap of affection. How pathetic.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alex asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"I'll be fine."

Alex stood there for a moment longer like his presence would loosen Aria's lips. "Come back in soon so you can eat with us. I can't deal with those two alone, you know."

✗

Something was wrong.

This wasn't an area of the city where many people wandered. It was unsafe for pretty much anyone - Enhanced or not, so most avoided it. But as Aria slinked through alleys and battered streets, she noticed more eyes around than usual. They drifted over her like she wasn't there, but their presence still left her uneasy.

There were more patrols than there used to be. There was no point in scouting out shops or facilities so she could steal medicine. It was too risky.

Aria was about to turn back when a weight hurtled into her - nearly knocking her off her feet.

"Sana!" a little voice cried with barely contained joy.

Aria stared down at the child clinging to her clothes like he hadn't been terrified of her when they first met. She didn't know how he recognized her  - her hair was hidden under a hoodie and there was a mask pulled over her face.

"You should be more careful," she said. "What if I was a bad guy?"

"You saved me from the bad guys," the little boy reminded her, one hand releasing her jacket so he could wag his index finger at her. "I lost my brother and you're good, so you have to help me find him."

"I never said I was good."

He shrugged without a care as he grinned up at her.

Aria sighed in defeat. "Where did you see him?"

It soon became clear that the child didn't know where he was or how he got there, but he was able to describe landmarks. He grew tired quickly, pace steadily slowing down. When Aria plucked him up off the ground, he tucked his face into her neck. Her heart twinged - a different child's face flashing through her head.

"My brother's taller," he mumbled.

"Is he now?"

"And he's warmer." He was quiet for a brief moment, shifting his arms to cling tighter. "Your shoulders are poking me. Why are they poking me?"

"It's because I haven't eaten any children in a while. It should be fine after I cook you, little boy."

The child laughed, lifting his head to look up at Aria. "I'm not a little boy! My name is Zain."

The longer they walked, the most energy he seemed to regain. He spoke quietly, as if he didn't want others to look at him, but his voice was full of enthusiasm as he talked about his brother.

Aria's back suddenly twinged - vision going black for a brief moment. Her arms tightened around Zain as she stumbled, choking back a surprised scream. The scars across her back felt tighter than usual.

"Sana?"

Aria gradually lowered Zain. "Do you think you can walk now or are you still tired?" she asked, hoping the child was still too young to pick up on her pain. She couldn't carry him any further. If he couldn't walk, they'd have to take a break. She was of little use when her back acted this way.

Zain stood on his own two feet and smiled. "I can walk now! But you have to come with me, please!"

Aria hadn't planned on leaving him to fend for himself. She straightened up and took one of his pudgy little hands. They didn't make it much further before Zain tore his hand away and ran to a frantic young man, throwing all his weight onto him like an excited puppy.

"I found you, Zayd!"

"If you run off like that again, I swear to -"

"We have a guest, so you can't yell at me!"

"We're outside, you little-"

"She helped me last time!!" Zain interrupted, pointing in Aria's direction. "She killed that guy! And she helped me again today!"

Aria didn't know if she should come off as friendly or threatening to escape from the situation as quickly as possible, so she settled for staring at the young man with a blank face. It took less energy anyway.

The brother stared back at her with an eyebrow raised. "Twice in a row, huh? Kill anyone this time too?"

Aria liked to consider herself fairly polite, but she wasn't dealing with this. "Keep better track of the kid."

He flinched.

Aria fixed Zain with her most serious look. Granted, it wasn't that much different from her regular look, so there was a chance the kid wasn't picking up on it. That would explain the sweet, toothy little smile he gave her.

"I need a favor from you. It's important."

The kid was vibrating with excitement. "What is it?"

"A pinkie promise." Aria held out her pinkie. "You need to promise you won't run off from your brother again."

"Why?"

"Because I might not be around to help you for a third time."

Zain didn't seem to like that, but he didn't argue. He wrapped his pinkie around Aria's with a solemn little nod.

Aria couldn't help but ruffle his hair before she turned to go.

"Wait."

Aria stopped in her tracks.

The older of the two brothers hesitated before saying, "It's not safe to be out right now. There are rumors about a raid. I was getting out of here as soon as I found him. Do you have somewhere to go?"

"I'll be fine."

He regarded her with a strange, probing look on his face, but made no further protest as she went on her way.

It took Aria a great amount of time to get back to the cabin. Zayd wasn't wrong about the raid - screams and gunfire were running rampant before the sun began to set. Aria found herself trying to ignore it the entire time. She was useless in her current state. If she got involved, if she tried to save anyone when she could barely stand, she'd probably earn a bullet to the head along with them.

Whenever the pain got to be too much, she would stop and hide, gritting her teeth until she could get back up. Time was lost in those moments. A stranger's scream would leave her thinking she was back home, trying to pry herself away from bloodied hands. The blood on the ground was from a lifeless child that looked too much like herself. A sudden gust of wind was the cold barrel of a gun pressed against her lips.

Night had fallen by the time she had stumbled in through the cabin door.

Safe, she told herself. It's safe here.

"Iqbal?" someone called.

Aria sank to the ground as slowly as she could without outright falling and tried to swallow down the urge to scream so she could answer. Somehow the pain got a dozen times worse as the adrenaline began to fade. She wasn't going to be able to get up of her own accord.

Alex poked his head out from the kitchen and gasped, "She's back!" as he hurried forward. "You're hurt! Where?"

Aria closed her eyes instead of answering. It was only meant to be for a moment, but when she opened them again, she was being jostled around on the couch as Alex searched for any obvious sign of injury. She smacked his hands away without thinking. "I'm fine."

Three different voices started up immediately, all of them too loud and too overwhelming. A dozen different questions about her whereabouts were launched in her direction.

It made Aria want to clap her shaking, sweaty hands over her ears and scream herself hoarse. Coagulated rage spilled out her mouth with a fresh surge of pain from her back. "Shut up," she hissed.

Three sets of jaws clicked shut, words unwillingly choked back.

Ah, there was that buzz. Aria hadn't felt it in quite some time. Sometimes it was strangely soothing. It might have been now if her nerves weren't alight with a wave of senseless anger. She pressed both hands against her face, trying to drown out the anger. This wasn't new - she knew how to regain control over her feelings.

Aria might have destroyed everything if she didn't. She would have gone mad if she let herself feel. When the world began to fall apart, she had become prone to being overcome with anger. It had taken her ages to learn to calm herself - to keep her emotions contained when she wanted to explode. There was too much there and it was too loud to bear. In the facility, she used to imagine packaging her anger into a box, neatly wrapped up in pretty paper before placing it on a shelf in a far corner of her mind. It pissed the guards off to see her calm and that alone gave her enough satisfaction to fall into the habit of doing so.

Aria pulled her hands away from her face when all of her fury was packed away.

Eli was the first to speak when they could finally pry their mouths open after a minute or two of blessed silence. "Did you just use your voice on us?"

"I'm sorry." She could swear that electricity crackled behind her for the second time that day."I didn't mean to."

The way Eli stared at her made her feel like a zoo animal behind glass. Any minute she would begin tapping the empty space between them.

Something like understanding lit up Alex's face. He leaned forward, taking one of Aria's hands in his own. He was smiling the way he usually was - warm and comforting. How much of it was real? "That's okay, it's okay."

"It wasn't on purpose."

"I think," he said gently, "I know why you can't use your voice whenever you want."

Aria met his eyes with cautious hope.

"I think you need to let yourself feel."

"I feel plenty."

Alex was visibly considering his words for a moment. "You stifle it. Like you did just now."

"It will hurt you," she said, instead of admitting that she was too afraid to stop. "You're always in pain when I slip up."

"It's precisely because you bottle it up that it hurts. If you start letting yourself feel what you need to, it'll be less overwhelming. Right now, you're like a shaken bottle."

Aria swallowed. "I am... a very angry person."

"We're all very angry people," Klaus said.

Maybe, but she didn't think there was a soul in the world with as much rage as her. It was worth taking a chance though. If she could get her voice to work when she needed it to, she'd be safer. She could keep herself protected from the world outside and the people around her if she had to. The next time there was a raid, she might be able to save some Enhanced instead of abandoning them to their fates.

The bare bones of a plan started to form in her mind.

"I don't know how to do what you're suggesting," she admitted to Alex.

"Alex can be your therapist," Eli muttered, almost too quiet to catch.

"You can spend more time with Eli," Alex retorted automatically. "Seeing her face always pisses me off."

"I would be a much better weapon if I could get a handle on my voice."

Klaus scowled. "Don't call yourself that."

"You would," Eli agreed, not noticing how Alex flinched minutely. "A Siren could have anyone in the palm of their hand. Nobody could make you do anything you didn't want to."

It was a novel idea, the possibility of becoming immune to outside manipulations just by saying a few words. If Aria was slightly less jaded or a few years younger, she might have bought into what Eli was trying to sell her. "Guess I should practice."