ALLY CONTRADICTS ME AGAIN when I get back from the bog. He still insists it's not an authoritarian rule because if it were, I should've been arrested as soon as I had voiced my opinion.

'And if they were bullies, as you think so, they could've forced you to live in the streets or somewhere worse. But look, we are living normally. Sure, we can't afford high-class flats for now. But so does every citizen in this city. It's a place with a dense population.'

'They're dense, all right. Look, I have my QR code. I didn't sign up for that! Since when did I get a QR code?' He asks me to focus and try to remember what they did to my passport. 'They checked it with a...scanner.' He nods, and that is it.

Ally doesn't say a thing but goes to see Haru, who I bet is palpitating. She wouldn't want to get kicked out whilst carrying another life in her womb. Thinking about that, I conceal my anger. At least for now. I'll need to earn money and get out of here. Why would I stay in a country where I'm not welcome?

* * * *

Haru had brought me eggs marinated in soy sauce with red peppers, crushed garlic, and onion. She said sorry a thousand times. 'I don't feel well, so I couldn't cook a proper meal. It must be the baby.' I haven't spent a week here yet, but I can already tell Haru only speaks in Zone 1 when I need to focus on what she's saying. Not wanting to upset her, I nodded and thanked her for the meal.

I thought that would be it. I thought Haru would leave me sulking. But she stayed and stared at me as though I should know what she was thinking.

'Your uncle loves you,' she said, nodding to the closed door. I knew Ally was sighing because I could hear him. I wondered if he was sending a message to Mum. Or if he was rubbing his hands together. He's got sweaty hands that I used to make fun of when I was a kid.

'I know that,' I said. I didn't dare look at Haru. For some reason, I always feel self-conscious around pregnant women. It's as if I should say the right thing, or I might upset them. And if I upset them, the humans inside their wombs would feel the same. Now I would have two people disappointed in me, and that is not a nice thought.

Haru smiled tenderly. Everything about her is so soft. Her hair, although always tied in a neat bun, seems so fluffy that I have this urge to pat her head. Her pale hands, although small, are quick and soundless every time she does something. Even though I'd never cared about Haru, every time she had a chat with Mum, I'd always known why my uncle had fallen for her. She's his dream girl. He said the two of them had met when he got lost. Thankfully, Haru was there, and she guided him to his flat. It was love at first sight. Yeah, I know. It was corny.

'He's a kind person, but my husband isn't that good at talking. Evansu-kun, maybe you should see him at work. He's so quiet.' Haru shook her head whilst still smiling. 'I had told him it wasn't that bad here. He could make friends if he wanted to. But he's so careful that he has forgotten how to express himself. He feels guilty for what your people did. Please, try to understand. I know Evansu-kun is a good boy.'

I chuckled. 'You don't know that,' I countered. 'I mean, I am not a good person. I like being praised, Haru.' I paused, wondering if I should add 'san', as Uncle had taught me. But I did not, since I found it stupid. 'I don't even know who you are, and I don't care. Do you see me asking who you are and what your dreams are? Or what do you do outside this flat? No. Because I don't care about you.'

My teeth immediately sawed the inside of my cheeks. I didn't want to say any of that. Haru is innocent. She should not get caught in our drama, but I couldn't help it. I was too angry.

'Well then,' Haru said, kneeling close to me. 'Let me introduce myself. My name is Nakano Haru. You may call me Haru-san. Or Haru-chan. It's all right to call me by my first name. You're a good boy, after all,' she giggled. 'Haru-chan was what they called me back in middle school.' She fluttered her eyelashes as she reminisced about her youth.

'Haru-chan sounds so childish,' I said. Although my voice was weak at that time. I just could not do it. Man, Haru is lucky she's pregnant.

'Exactly!' Haru exclaimed. Realising that she had said that too loudly, she covered her lips and giggled again. 'I mean, that's the point. I was voted as the cutest girl in our school. Can you guess how many suitors I had in my class alone?' she asked.

I shrugged. 'Five? Eight?' She shook her head. 'Tell me, then.'

'Fifteen! And there were twenty-four boys in our class!'

'No girls?'

'I don't understand.'

'You didn't have a suitor who was a girl?'

She shook her head. 'I honestly don't know.' Haru fanned herself with her hand. 'Expressing such love for another girl...That could put them in danger.'

My eyebrows quirked. 'You mean...the government doesn't allow same-sex relationships?'

'Oh, not necessarily. What I meant was, they could be bullied. The bullying cases here are extreme. Nobody would want to experience that. Also, we are encouraged to have as many children as possible. If Evansu-kun hasn't noticed by now, our population took a massive decline after the...well...'

'The Great Barricade,' I finished for her. She nodded. 'Well, what did you expect? You closed your borders for a very long time.'

She excused herself, said she had to make sure Ally was doing all right.

Now, I'm left alone with whatever this is. The nosh looks and smells weird, but I can't let myself be picky right now. Besides, I should be thankful that Haru had even bothered to serve me grub when I had refused to share dinner with them. I was too angry. I tried numbing myself, like that time when I was seven years old. I don't know how I exactly did it. All I knew was that I was imitating my mother. She'd cry herself to sleep every night, and then it stopped. At first, I thought she'd found out I was listening, but no, she made herself stop crying to focus on her present and her future.

I wish I were as good as she is.

Maybe I'm too narky that my skin is getting too warm. No, too hot. Shaking my head, I ignore it and poke the egg with the tines of a fork. Ally had tried teaching me how to use chopsticks, but he's no good teacher. I'd even watched tutorial videos, but two sticks aren't going to cut it for me. It doesn't make sense. The two sticks, I mean, not my inability to use them.

As I stuff my mouth with the weird but scrummy nosh, my skin keeps on getting hotter. Even at night, the weather can still be a bitch. This, however, feels different.

It takes me at least a minute before I drop my fork. The dining room is now swaying in my vision.

Flakes of red start to appear in my eyes. It's odd since most of the furniture pieces here are either white or green. My throat is parched. Maybe I'm just thirsty. I don't know, but that's the first thing that comes to mind. It's like I need to douse the inside of my body with water.

Raising the cup to my lips, I hadn't noticed until now how my hands are abnormally shaking. I hear something break. The next thing I know, the cup has slipped from my grasp, raining shards of glass down onto the tatami, blood running from my palm to the tips of my fingers. Did the glass shatter first in my hand?

Breathing becomes an exhausting task as my lungs explode into pieces. That's how it feels. I don't know what's going on.

'A-Ally...' The door to their room is closed. Haru and Ally have no idea what's happening on the other side of the door; that I'm clutching my chest with short, rapid breathing.

The floor gets closer to me as I tumble down, my face smashing against it.

What's happening to me? Am I dying? I don't recall smoking or taking those pills; I quit for Mom two years ago.

I refuse to die like this. So with the small amount of strength I have left, I crawl using my elbows, my hands, and then my fingers. I won't die without trying.

'Al...Un-c-cle...help m-me...' I'm back to being a small boy again. Ally was always there whenever I fell on my nose. Ally was there...and he'll be here for me now. He has to. Please, please, help me.

Please help me.

* * * *

Food poisoning. Needless to say, Haru's diagnosis of me is unpleasant and unbelievable. I've never had food poisoning in my entire life. She said it must be the marinated eggs, as it was my first time trying that delicacy.

If it were indeed the marinated eggs, I would've accepted her explanation (which would be too sad since it was bangin'), but I know it wasn't. I wonder why they didn't take me to a hospital. But then again, with the discrimination and all, Ally musta thought the doctor would call an officer to send me back to Zone 3.

'How you feelin'?' Ally asks, kneeling and feeling my forehead with light touches, which contradicts his huge and rough hands. It is my first time resting in their bedroom. Haru will be staying at her parents' place whilst I recover.

I want to shout. My own body is mocking me; it's as though that excruciating pain were nothing but a dream. Or a delusion. But mostly, it's made my uncle worried. His eyes are red, and I know he'll deny that he was crying, but that's OK. Crying is embarrassing. The guilt, however, is eating me up.

'That shirt is beast,' I chuckle between my coughs. The intense pain I'd suffered is now completely gone. Yeah, there's the fever, but I can manage it. I know the next day, I'll be OK.

Ally looks down at his shirt—blindingly bright yellow with a cartoon character that's sadly not Doraemon, but a dog wearing a police uniform—and forces a smile. My uncle has the most irritating smile, so seeing him like this breaks me a little.

'Cheers, chap. Bought it last week.' Work has been more taxing than usual on him, I can tell. He claimed to be an engineer, but I'm not sure what kind of engineer he was. I'll ask him later, and this time, I'll try to listen. Funny how death, or at least the sense of it, pushes you to appreciate your loved ones. 'How are you?'

I can't even bring myself to resent him for not calling an ambulance. Even though the pain isn't there anymore, I'm still exhausted. 'Am I still chung?'

'Yeah, just like me.' Fat seconds tick by until he holds my hands and squeezes them. Five squeezes. That routine used to be his and Mum's.

'Good thing it's Sunday tomorrow. I can take care of you for the whole day.'

'Hey, I may be sick, but at least I'm still...sick.' For someone sorry for me, Ally doesn't even attempt to laugh. 'Please don't do that again. It's awful. Although I agree cuz it's a standard in our family, still, don't do that. What an awful delivery of a joke.'

'I hate you.'

'I love you too, Jax.'

'Yuck.' He lets go of my hands, only to ruffle my hair. 'By the way, thanks for...taking care of me. And before this becomes awkward, I know why you didn't take me to the hospital. From what you've told me, I don't trust Jakes too.'

He cracks up. What an idiot. When I joke, he doesn't laugh, but when I don't, he does the opposite! 'For a second, I didn't get what you meant. I forgot you love rap songs.'

I once had found these old songs thanks to the internet. My mum hated them, not because of the profanities, but because of their melody. She had labelled them as 'unfashionable music'. I, on the other hand, love them. I love how rebellious they are.

'It's also a good thing I had help,' Ally continues. He dips a hand towel into a steel basin and then wrings it. Gingerly, he places the towel on my forehead. I let out a sigh of relief. 'Haru and I are grateful for his help. I'm also glad you've already made a friend here.'

'What are you saying?' It must be the fever, because I know I haven't made a friend yet, and I don't think I ever will, unless I need someone to help me get out of here.

Instead of answering me, he whips his head to the kitchen and says, 'He's awake now; you can talk to him.' Ally pats my shoulder before standing up. 'I'll leave you two. I know you don't like me eavesdropping.'

'Seriously, what? Who...' A kid, no, the kid steps inside, still wearing that stupid jumper. His head is exposed, so I see him smiling politely at my uncle.

Ally doesn't give me a chance to protest ('Thank this boy, he knew what to do,' he whispers), and just like that, Ally tells us he'll be back soon to get more paracetamol.