A/N: So here we are with the new chapter.

Apologies in advance! (You will know soon!) :P

Happy Reading! :)

***

Nandini:

It has not been more than forty eight hours since the nightmare that unfolded in the Malhotra mansion, on the morning to Manik and Aliya's wedding, but it seemed like an incident of the last decade; when we walked out of their mansion little did we know we were bracing up for yet another storm, but of a higher magnitude. That evening Aryamann had come to collect his luggage and talk to me, but I had told him I needed some time. It was the first time we were conversing after both our infidelity was out in the open, maybe he was ashamed, maybe he was as disgruntled, but he had easily agreed. He probably needed more time to gather his thoughts too. At home, 'mumma', me and Aliya didn't talk much either, we all figured after a high octane morning we all needed some space – and I realised my hostile feelings towards 'mumma' had gone, I wondered how that happened, was it because she stood up for me against Aryamann and even Aliya to some extent today, or was it because she pulled me out of an abyss of guilt that consumed me, when I thought I wasn't a good enough mother to Armaan. I don't know why, but her motherly act today felt genuine for the first time; maybe we still had a chance at reconciliation, even though it might be a long road? I would never find an answer to this question now; because the next morning 'mumma' never woke up. She had a massive cardiac arrest in her sleep and in the morning Aliya and I woke up without any parent in this world.

The rest of the day went in a haze, it was completely disconnected from the day before; I had instinctively called Aryamann and he had arrived immediately; Aliya must have informed Navya or Manik, and they followed soon. We acted as one family, burying all hatchets for the time being. As they took her body away for cremation, I saw Aliya sitting quietly, mostly in shock; and Navya and a couple of our neighbours consoling her, I found a trail of tears rolling down my eyes; I was amazed, why were there tears in my eyes? I detested her all my life, I blamed her for hurting my mother, for snatching my father, for favouring Aliya and never accepting me completely, then why did her demise actually feel like a personal loss to me, why did I feel like losing family, maybe another mother? I just called her 'mumma' . I never felt that way; was the last act of kindness and love that she showered upon me the day before, strong enough to overwrite all the wrongs of the past? This was not fair, she hurt me in life, and 'mumma' managed to hurt me in her silent death too. I felt I had a sort of 'home' for one day, before it was snatched away. I was guilty, I knew yesterday's incident must have played a huge role in this mishap, and like I always wished in hatred, I did end up partially being the cause of her demise. In the war that I opened against the universe and my fate by choosing Manik, it took from me a second sacrifice that day, in the form of the woman I hated all my life and hated to lose too, 'mumma'.

Aryamann, Manik, Cabir and a couple of other neighbours had gone for the cremation and were yet to return with the ashes; we were waiting for them, as guests and neighbours slowly started dispersing. I was avoiding Aliya like the plague since the morning; not because of the wedding showdown, but because I was afraid she would blame me; I knew she was equally at fault, but well her loss was bigger too. It was only Aliya, Navya and me at home then, I stared at Navya strangely as she constantly ignored my gaze and sat by Aliya consoling her; Navya knew I hated 'mumma', she probably thought I am happy deep inside, I didn't blame her for this, but her indifference stung. Soon the men were back with the ashes, and after a while, all departed. Navya hugged Aliya tightly before leaving, not acknowledging my presence. I kept looking at her hurt, as Cabir tried controlling the damage by coming to me and gently patting my shoulder before leaving; Aryamann held my shoulder and nodded at me in assurance, then he patted Aliya's head gently once before leaving with Armaan, I had insisted that he took him for a couple of days to keep his mind off this shock; Manik was the last to leave, he tried to hug Aliya, but she refused him, he sighed but didn't insist and turned to me; Manik walked up to me and hugged me gently, holding my waist, I relaxed in his broad chest and found myself burying my head deep in; I exhaled as he bent his head on my shoulder hugging me tighter. I realised I was shaking; I wasn't sure if it was because he was the first person to really hug me after the long shocking day, or was it because in his arms I finally let my guards down and let the hurt of losing 'mumma' sink in. He held me for some time, until I calmed down, then he let me go; I was reluctant to come out of his comforting embrace but I didn't stop him; he whispered that I should eat something and take rest and then he left.

I turned my gaze towards Aliya, it was just the two of us now; she was looking at me with calm glassy eyes. I nodded at her and motioned for her to come to the dining area to eat something, we both had not eaten anything all day. She quietly followed, and we ate silently before retiring to our rooms that night. As I lay awake that night, sleep evaded me. Strange memories from my childhood flooded my thoughts, all were with 'mumma' and somehow all good and easy memories, like a laugh we shared, a place we visited; I remember while we were living those memories, I wasn't happy with her, but now in hindsight, they seemed like happy memories. Also, despite my hate for Aliya, I knew the turmoil that was going inside her head and heart right then, she had truly and in all sense lost her mother, and ask me, someone who lost both parents, no one is ever ready for it; however old, also no one ever deserves it, however bad. A part of me wanted to put all animosity on pause and reach out to her, but another part, the one that felt guilty stopped me. What if she didn't want me around?

***

Aliya:

I couldn't sleep all night, the memory of that day haunted me right into the wee hours of morning; to be honest, I didn't try sleeping much either because every time I closed my eyes, flashes of 'mumma' came to me, and strangely, none of them were happy memories. People say when a person departs for their heavenly abode, they take away all the bad memories and what remains are only the happy ones they lived; more often than not we find it in ourselves to forgive a dead person for the sins they committed in life, but for me why was it any different, that to with 'mumma'? I never really said it on her face that I held her deeply responsible for a lot of my miseries in life, I felt that way when I was angry, but I would cool down eventually and not think about such things, but were these thoughts so deeply engraved in my subconscious that today of all the time, when my relationship with my mother seeks a final eulogy, I am incapable of giving her a happy one?

My mother always showed me love and affection, but never stood up for me; not once. She was always cold towards Nandini di, but still she always ensured di got her dues. I understand somewhere that it stems from a place of deep seated guilt she felt; the guilt of replacing 'badi ma's' life with hers, and thereby changing di's world at a tender age, but all I ask is, why did my own mother, in order to feed her guilt, and provide justice to my di, ended up being most unjust to me? Di deserved happiness and love, but did she deserve my share of happiness and love? She didn't. She didn't deserve it back then, she didn't deserve it now; and what was I expected to do, give in to her demands? Willingly or unwillingly, both times my mother ensured I did. Aryamann was mine, but Di was allowed to have her, then why couldn't she be happy with him, why was there a hollow in the marriage, why did Aryamann whisk back to me at the first opportunity? Why did Di not have any hold on him even after some time of marriage? I will tell you why, because, as much of a damsel in distress my Di pretends to be, always in life, it was her fault too. Aryamann could consider walking out of his marriage while his wife was with child, not only because we loved each other, but because Di never loved him. If she never loved him to begin with, what was the point of my sacrifice? I still didn't complain, in fact I sacrificed my love for Aryamann again when it came to Armaan; at least you'd think this time around she'd work things around with her husband? She blamed me for stealing her husband, but she never claimed him when I gave him back to her. Di in my eyes will never be more than a selfish child, whining for a toy, the moment she had it, she lost interest. Today, she used the knowledge of Aryamann and my affair to make her claim on Manik, legitimate; but when was the last time she cared about Aryamann? I have seen him trying to get back to life with her; did she ever give him a chance? But she used our affair as a card the moment she needed to prove her innocence, how is this justified? How is Di at the receiving end of anything?

Then came Manik; I was trying to move on, I wanted to find happiness, even if it began as a compromise from my end; if Di hated me all her life for what I did, how does she justify her act, how is what she did suddenly become okay, just because we did it in the past? What right does she have to hate me, rebuke me and punish Aryamann, when given a chance she did the same, she went for what she wanted. This time, Manik was the shiny new toy that Di wanted, and when it came out in the open, who lost anything, me. My mother wasn't going to get me married to Manik even if we had decided to, you know why, because deep inside she'd know Di wouldn't be okay with it; history repeated one more time, and this time too my happiness was compromised; I'd find it in myself to not blame my mother for this, but what irked me was how she defended Di, when we questioned her motherhood and motherly responsibilities towards Armaan; is Di justified choosing herself over Armaan? Over the years we all have changed but Di hasn't, yesterday it was me, today it was Armaan, but whenever there came a time for Di to choose between her happiness and someone else's, knowingly or unknowingly, she has always chosen herself; no one else; not even her son.

Navya di and I were trying to show her, her selfish ways when we asked Di, how she'd deal with Armaan, we were right and Di knew it, I had seen the question finally break into her conscience, I saw a glimmer in hope in that moment, maybe we could somehow miraculously mend our ways here, but then came my mother who blatantly defended Di's motherhood. She didn't let Di break down, that was my mother's final blow against me. She came out in the open and bashed everybody including Aryamann and Manik, but only Di got her word of support; why? How was she a good mother, why should I mourn her? Even after hearing all we had to say, she saw her two daughters, and decided Di needed her, when she was the one who was infidel with my fiancé, and as a result my wedding got cancelled right on the morning of the wedding. When she punished me in every single step of my life for no apparent fault of mine, and favoured Di for every single selfish act, then why am I expected to mourn her loss today and not Di? The unfairness of life is such that if I don't shed a tear today, people will judge me, but if Di doesn't nobody would be surprised. No one would probably believe it, but Di has always had it unfairly easy in life. And as for my mother, her punishment lies in the fact that the daughter she favoured all her life hated her too much to mourn her loss, and the daughter she stabbed all her life, has finally found the perspective to not give a shit to her loss and move on.

I was lost in my own thoughts, when I felt a palm gently touch my shoulder, in instinct I turned to my sources of comfort and whispered, "Thank you for coming over Navya di, I really needed you"; but when I looked up, it wasn't her, it was Nandini.

***

Nandini:

To say it didn't sting when Aliya touched my hand and called for Navya, would be a lie. It is true, however fake and affectionate Aliya was of me all her life, I didn't reciprocate; I didn't fake anything, hence whatever little memories we had of laughing and spending time together were actually genuine; maybe I hated her, but I did acknowledge her as my sister somewhere deep down; maybe she was the reason for all my miseries, but being a mother, the instinct to protect a vulnerable person comes naturally, maybe that's what finally pulled me out of my room to the hall, and when I found her sitting alone, I couldn't help myself but reached out to her.

As she looked up at me, she simply stared into my eyes, as if trying to understand my action, as to why I approached her. She didn't question me, she didn't take my hand off her; she just looked at me, like she was trying to see through my intentions. It felt like she was trying to decide if she could let her guards down before me, but she wasn't able to understand. I couldn't find words to say either, what should I say that would make her trust me? I was looking into the eyes of the woman who lost her dear mother a day after losing her fiancé to me, what could I possibly say to win her trust back? Don't get me wrong, I am not guilty of being with Manik, I don't feel bad for taking him from her either, to be honest, but keeping all that aside, what I saw was a woman who was deeply wounded, and I could relate to that, I wanted to help heal that.

"Come let's have tea" I said softly, as I tried pulling her up by holding up her wrist. She didn't say anything, but quietly followed me to the kitchen and sat down on the chair next to our counter. I looked at her from the corner or my eyes, she looked calm; she was looking out of the window lost in her thoughts.

"Sorry I can't see lemons here, I think we ran out; I'm just making black tea" I told her casually, trying to bring normalcy.

She smiled a little to herself before responding, "I'm glad, I hate lemon tea". A smile crept up my lips hearing her, it was true; we both hated lemon tea, but 'mumma' would forcefully make us drink it in the morning since it was a healthier alternative.

"I hated it too" I whispered back, while concentrating on making the tea, not looking up.

"Then why didn't you tell her?" she asked me softly. I suppressed another smile, I hated 'mumma' too much back in the day and wouldn't tell her about any of my likes and dislikes if it wasn't really unavoidable. I felt like it would be chipping the wall that I had built around my heart against them, if I let them look into who I really was or what I really wanted; but I wasn't going to tell Aliya all this now.

"Why didn't you tell her, you hated it too?" I asked back quietly as I looked back at her; I was surprised to see she was looking at me with a mild curiosity now.

"What I said never mattered, but I'm sure had you said you didn't like it, she wouldn't make us have it" she replied back softly and as she said it out loud, her age old complaint against 'mumma', a drop of tear leaked out of her eyes; it was soon followed by many others and she didn't try brushing them away; she didn't make a sound, but she let the tears flow incessantly.

Her reaction froze me to my spot, it haunted me; it took me back to one of my darkest days. I remember holding a one year old Armaan and rocking him on my lap. I was trying hard to make him sleep, but he kept crying; he was crying from fever, the temperature wasn't coming down and I had already given him his dose of medicine. I was frantically trying to call his pediatrician, but he wasn't available on the phone; it was late at night in Delhi; I didn't know what to do, how could I drive with such a small child and take him to a hospital, also it wasn't safe to take a cab at this hour. As I was rocking my son, horrified, putting faith on almighty hoping Armaan would be okay till morning, when I could take him to see a doctor; in all this Aryamann was missing, he was in Thailand with Aliya for a holiday, although officially I was told it's a work trip. That day I was crying the same way she was crying today, tears were coming out, but I wasn't shaking, I wasn't brushing them away; I couldn't shake and weep because that would disturb Armaan, and I couldn't brush away the tears because I was rocking Armaan in my hands. Life had indeed come full circle and the darkest part of me wanted to smile at 'karma', but I would like to believe I'm bigger than that, hence I didn't let Aliya weep alone that day, the way she had let me on that night, all those years back.

I left the teacups at the counter and gently went and sat next to her, as she looked at me with teary silence, I softly pulled her into my embrace; she didn't resist me, but she didn't embrace me either for a while; as I kept patting her back gently, and slowly she embraced me back. As she wept in my arms like a child, I wept too; the only difference was, she wept for losing 'mumma' while I wept remembering the unfairness of the night when I suffered like this, all alone with no source of comfort, because of her. In the silence lay an unmade rule, that until things were slightly better, we would put our personal differences aside and come together as a family; whether we like it or not, this was all we had as 'family' at that point of time. She had me, and I had her and Armaan.

***

A/N: Dear readers, I know this is quite a shocking turn in the story, but what can I say, it's important? Do let me know how you feel about this chapter - your thoughts & feedback if any :)

Btw inline comments are the best, please please keep em' coming! Also, do press the vote icon if you wanna show me some love :)

Next update on Saturday 4th Dec.

Much love,

A.