"You seem to be happier today."

The queen looked up from weaving her flower crowns. The king's sister, the priestess, stood before her, holding a basket of offerings. She was a woman she would talk to, in fact the only one, but she was too busy with work to be her friend. Everyone always was.

"Yes, it seems." She smiled. The previous night was one of the first she did not feel empty. There was also the good news that her love would return in a few months. The woman returned the gesture.

"That's good," she muttered. Before the queen could tell her more, the priestess excused herself and left to fulfill her duties. 

She slumped her shoulders and sighed, tightening her grip on the incomplete flower crown. Alone, again. There was so much inside her that begged to be heard by the world. She wanted to tell them how happy she was, how alive she felt for the first time in a while. She wanted to rejoice with someone. Apparently, they were to busy to hear of her 'useless' thoughts.

She could always visit that man in the woods, but would he welcome her as he did the previous night?

A butterfly flew past her and rested atop one of the flowers. It was plain, its wings pattern with the colours black and white, yet it looked so beautiful under the afternoon sun. Her gaze was fixed on it, a memory relived in her mind...

‘The flowers are beautiful today,’ he said, as the lovers both held each other's hands.

‘Yes, and the butterflies are ecstatic.’ She looked at the flying creature of nature fly around, gathering nectar offered by the fragrant and colourful flowers. She stretched out her palms to trap one of them. She peeped into her cupped hands, and huffed at the sight of an ordinary one. Shrugging, she let it go.

‘Why did you do that?’ he asked, eyeing the winged creature fly away. ‘You wanted one, didn't you?’

‘I wanted a unique one,’ she answered, ‘but they're out of reach.’

He laughed at her childish behavior. ‘Sometimes, what we want is out of our reach and we have to live with what we have.’

‘But I have you and you're what I want.’

Her lover kissed her forehead affectionately and she smiled warmly at the gesture. ‘You are my love, the most beautiful, the most graceful out of all the women of the world,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘Perhaps the reason why you did not get the unique butterfly is because you are the one.’

‘I...’ She turned red and puffed her cheeks, clearly flustered by his statement. She tried to cover it up. ‘I'm not an insect.’

He let out another laugh which brought her pleasure in her ears. She chuckled along, admiring his handsome face. Those bright brown eyes were squinted, his wavy, brown hair bobbed in the same rhythm his well-built body moved when he chuckled. His white teeth that smiled through his lips just added more to his attractiveness.

‘What's wrong?’ he asked, his eyebrows raised at her silence.

‘No, nothing.’ She shook her head out of her daydream and covered her forehead. Did she just—

‘Are you sure? Because you've been staring at my lips that whole time.’

She flinched at that statement, and her eyes subconsciously went there. She felt her heart beat faster. Her breathing rate went out of pace, her cheeks warming up as he closed the distance between themselves. Her abdomen felt strange, like it had feelings of its own and rejoiced at his closeness.

His soft lips pressed against her, gentle and slow. It wasn't abrupt as she expected it to be, but it was comfortable. She let herself smile foolishly instead of returning the kiss. He noticed it and let go. Still in the state of bliss, her fingers touched the part where he contacted her.

‘Sorry, it was my first time. It must have been clumsy.’ He stiffled a chuckle and covered his mouth, clearly satisfied by his action. Her face was transfixed to the sky, the stupid smile still fixed on her face.

‘No, it was good,’ she replied. ‘I loved it. Thank you.’

...She twirled an orchid between her thumbs. That's right, that was her first time too. The emptiness within her returned once more. Her chest ached, wishing for his warm presence. The presence that was hundreds of kilometers away.

He was right in a way: those things we want are way out of our reach and we have to live with what was present. In her case, nothing. However, that would not be the case in a few months. She would have to wait patiently. The hope was alive in her. She prayed for her husband's safe return as she hugged the flower crown closely.

Smiling sadly, she shooed the butterfly away from the flower. The plain butterfly she did not want. As she watched it fly away in the wind, she remembered a vague voice.

"Inferior objects like this can produce something beautiful. That is the same for people too."

It was spoken by a voice so kind and gentle. She wanted to hear more of it. The memory of what happened the previous night was fuzzy, but it cleared up gradually. There was someone with her.

He didn't mind speaking and inviting her in that night. She wanted to pay him a visit again, mostly because she wanted company and she was free then. Of course, he wouldn't be at home during the day; where would she find him?

The wind blew, bringing a wave of coldness and messed with her hair. She looked behind, swiping a hair strand behind her ear. Just as usual, it came from the town, in the opposite direction to the hill. Not far from it, she could see the dust build up from carts, colourful textiles being displayed in the markets and people of all ethnicity rush through the streets.

A thought entered her mind, perhaps that mystery person was somewhere there. He lived just outside town and had a noble's clothing, it would not be odd that he worked in the town instead of the farms. Despite that being the place where she had one of her most traumatic event, that didn't dampen her curiosity.

The memory of the prince making a move on her was abhorrent and undesirable. However, the satisfaction that would come when she encounters that person would overshadow the shame she felt. She just wanted to thank him and apologize about the hassle she caused, that was all.

Another trip to town was planned.

****

That was a long writer's block and the effects are still not gone. Hope you understood the message.

Keep on looking forward to the next chapter.
_____

“I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”
-John 14:18