Chapter 27
André
TW: violence. Please read with care.
I woke up with a massive headache the next day. Dragging my feet out of bed, I proceeded to the comfort room to wash my face.
Habang nakatingin ako sa salamin, bigla kong naalala ang mga nangyari kagabi sa club. First time kong pumunta sa Soul Club kagabi. I never really intended to visit that place because it was the turf of Tyler's newfound organization, the Soul Society.
Hindi ko inakalang doon ko pala makikita ulit si Charles. I swear my heart suddenly started pumping out blood normally again the moment I saw her last night. She ignited my dying heart, so now, I was utterly craving for more.
"I have to see her again," I told myself, going back to my room and looking at the time on my phone. 10:17 am.
It was still too early to be in the club.
Sighing, I proceeded to the living room area only to find out that a certain someone was already there, drowning himself in cheesy love songs.
"Jesus, bro! Patayin mo nga yang senti music mo!" I yelled out, looking at the guy sitting on the couch with his eyes red and swollen.
"Sobrang miss ko na si Bal," tulalang sagot pa niya sa akin habang nakatingin sa kisame.
"Bakit hindi ka nalang pumunta sa New York? Why do you have to listen to your parents?" I suggested.
Tinignan ako ni Logan at inayos na rin ang kanyang upo. "Dré, kasal pa rin ang mga magulang namin. Kapag natapos na ang annulment, saka ko pupuntahan si Bal. Three years nalang naman."
I clucked my tongue, shaking my head. "Hindi ba pagiging martyr na yan?"
"Hindi pagiging martyr to. Rinerespeto ko lang ang sitwasyon ng aming pamilya," sagot pa niya.
I sighed. "Kung pinigilan mo lang sana ang kasal noon, then you wouldn't have to wait this long to be with the love of your life."
Umiling naman si Logan. "Eh ikaw, kelan ka naman magpapakatino? Tsaka bakit ka ba nandito? Hindi ka ba hinahanap ng fiancée mo?"
I paused, sighing. Hindi ko pa pala nasasabi sa kanila. "Wala na kami ni Olivia."
Logan raised a brow at me. "Tangina? So, ano na? Babalikan mo si Charlie? Kaya ka ba nagpakalasing kagabi sa club?"
"Wala akong babalikan kasi hindi naman naging kami ni Charles. But, yes, plano kong ligawan siya, for real this time," I answered.
Umiling si Logan. "Ang gulo mo, Dré. Bakit ka ba kasi pumayag noon sa arranged marriage niyo ni Olivia?"
I hissed at him, marching my way back inside my room. There's more to it than what everyone knew. But, I couldn't say that to anyone.
When the clock struck seven in the evening, I immediately drove to Soul Club after an hour of trying to fix my disheveled hair and swollen eye infront of the mirror.
Once I reached inside the club, agad kong hinanap si Charles. I ignored the passing glares of the guys who noticed my presence. They were most likely to be members of Sigma Xi or Soul Society as they liked to call it these days.
Alam kong kilala nila ako bilang former Commander ng Omega Phi. I wasn't supposed to be here. No one was allowed to enter a society's den unless invited by a member. I was definitely not invited. But, I had to see Charles and make sure she was not being exploited in this sickening place.
"Hey, are you new here?" A woman approached me, her eyes visibly forming hearts.
I smiled at her. "You're beautiful. But, my heart is already reserved for someone. Sorry." I was about to turn around when she suddenly pulled the hem of my jacket, making me stop.
"Reserved?" she asked, arching a brow. "So, it means not taken yet? Maybe I can change your mind."
Sighing, I leaned closer to her ear to make sure she would hear every word I'd say. "No one can change my mind. Not even your pretty face, my lady."
Flipping her long curls, she finally walked away from me.
I made my way towards the bar counter, ordering a non-alcoholic drink from the bartender. Nilibot ko ang aking tingin sa loob ng club, but I couldn't see any sign of Charles.
"Atomic Cat? That's very cute," another woman commented next to me.
Turning to my side, I saw a different woman looking at my drink as she clinked the glass she was holding against mine. She looked more mature than me because of her heavy makeup, but who was I to judge?
"Sorry, lady. I'm not looking for sex," I answered straightforwardly. "Not with you, at least."
She chuckled. "Oh, don't worry. I'm not interested sucking your dick either."
I choked on my drink hearing her say that. "Jesus!"
"Oh, sorry, ngayon ka lang ba naka-meet ng lesbian na katulad ko?" she asked in the most casual way possible.
I shook my head, wiping the sides of my mouth with my hand. "So, why are you talking to me then? You need therapy or something?"
She laughed again. "Ang funny mo pala, Alexandré."
I snapped my head at her. "You know me, huh?"
"Of course, I know you. Everyone knows the French Charming Commander of Omega Phi..." she paused. "Or should I say Gen L Society now, since your frat is still suspended until God knows how long?"
I sighed, drinking from my glass again. "Goddamn. Why am I so famous? Hindi naman ako artista ah."
She suddenly tapped my back, catching my attention. "Hindi ba siya ang hinahanap mo?"
I followed her line of vision and from a distance, I saw Charles serving a group of guys in the corner of the room. Napansin ko rin ang pamilyar na lalaki mula sa grupo. Tyler was obviously trying to hit on her from the way she kept on shaking her head while he was reaching for her hand.
"Careful picking a fight here. Mag-isa ka lang. Hindi mo sila kakayanin," the woman beside me advised, standing up from her seat and leaving me alone.
When I glanced back at the corner of the room, Charles was gone.
"Putain!" I cursed, gripping my hands tight and moving towards the group of guys.
As soon as I reached them, they immediately glared at me. "Ano ang ginagawa mo dito ha? Naghahanap ka ba ulit ng away?" One of them asked.
"Gusto atang matuluyan niyan eh," another guy commented.
"Where the fuck is Tyler? San niya dinala ang babae?" I muttered.
"Ah 'yong pakipot na waitress. Tomboy ata yon eh."
My nails were already digging the inside of my palms, trying to keep myself calm. "I said where the fuck is he?"
A guy stood up, moving closer and even placing an arm around my shoulder. "Bakit? Trip mo ba yong tomboy na yon-"
I didn't let him finish his sentence as my fist already landed on his face.
"Putangina! Gago ka!" The other guys all came towards me, strangling me by the neck and making it hard for me to breathe. But, luckily, my childhood training in martial arts didn't fail me as I freed myself from the guys.
"Aaaahhhhh!" Someone from the crowd shrieked, probably because of the commotion I made.
I continued to punch the guys surrounding me. I couldn't even feel my fists anymore with how numb they were.
"San niyo siya dinala?" I growled, clutching the collar of a guy.
"S-Sa VIP... room 1," he stuttered.
I quickly let go of him and proceeded to find the VIP rooms upstairs. While running, all the lights and sound inside the club suddenly got switched off.
"Oh my God!"
"What's happening?"
I could hear the people around me panicking. Nilabas ko ang cellphone ko at binuksan ang flashlight. Kahit na madilim ang dinadaanan ko ngayon, nagpatuloy pa rin ako sa paglakad.
When I finally reached upstairs, biglang bumalik ang electricity sa buong club.
"Ano'ng ginagawa mo dito, André?" Charles suddenly appeared, looking at me with a serious face.
"Charles!" I exclaimed, pulling her in close to me and giving her a tight hug.
"T-Teka, bakit ka ba nandito? Alam mo na ngang lungga ito ng kalaban niyong frat," she continued to nag, trying to push me away.
"Okay ka lang? Did that asshole harass you?" I rained her with questions out of worry.
"Ha? Sino? Tsaka, anong nangyari sa mukha mo? Nakipag-rambulan ka na naman sa baba?" She brought out a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped my face with it. "Ano? Tawagan ko ba si Olivia?"
I rested my head on her shoulder, making her stop from wiping my face. "No, you don't have to call her anymore. You're the only one I need."
"André, sinasabi ko sa'yo. Ayaw kong makasira ng relasyon ninyong dalawa," she uttered.
"Charles, when will you stop pushing me away? Hindi mo ba nakikita? Mas lalo ko lang gustong mapalapit sayo sa ginagawa mo," I hushed.
"Pinapalayo kita kasi may asawa ka na! May tama na ba ang utak mo?" she pointed out.
"Jesus, Charles, ilang ulit ko ba kailangang sabihin na ikaw ang mahal ko?" I remarked, meeting her eyes again. "I tried to love Olivia for a whole damn year, pero hindi ko kaya. I just can't stop thinking about you to the point of insanity."
She slowly shook her head. "Hindi lahat ng gusto natin nakukuha natin, André... minsan kailangan mong isipin ang kapakanan ng ibang tao."
"Charles, please... I'm begging you..." I cried. "Iniwan na ako ni Olivia. Everyone just leaves me no matter how much I try to be unselfish... I feel so fucking alone and depressed."
"André, hindi mo ako kailangan o ang ibang tao. Kailangan mo lang hanapin sa sarili mo kung paano maging masaya at para maramdaman mong hindi ka nag-iisa," she continued to say.
"What do you want me to do for you to love me?" My voice cracked as I reached for her arm, gripping it tight.
"Ang kailangan mong gawin ay ang balikan si Olivia..." she paused, avoiding my gaze.
I shook my head vigorously. "I don't want to be with her. I don't want to hurt her anymore."
She ignored what I said, removing my grip from her arm. She took her phone out from her pocket. "Tatawagan ko na si Logan para sunduin ka."
"Hindi mo ba talaga ako kayang mahalin?" I mumbled.
She held my gaze this time, but nothing came out of her mouth. I just needed to hear a single ray of hope from her.
"Magbabago ako para sa'yo, Charles..." I added.
"At lalayuan mo na ako?" she asked.
I shook my head. "No, I will make you love me back."
"Hintayin mo nalang si Logan," she finished, walking away and leaving me dead inside.
Fuck me. Her nonchalance was much more painful than the throbbing cut on my lip right now.
Thank heavens I was born competitive... because I'd make sure she'd fall for me deeper until she could no longer get rid of me.
My phone was about to explode with messages the next day. Akala ko galing kay Charles. Na-disappoint lang ako nang makita kong galing itong lahat sa group chat namin.
Omega Sardines
9:04 am
Logan Max:
Tangina
Na-coma daw si Tyler
Koleen F:
Comatose?
Kell Atkinson:
Where did that news come from?
Logan Max:
Legit to
Galing sa isang kafrat nila sa Sigma
Koleen F:
Paano raw ang nangyari?
Logan Max:
Hindi pa nila alam kung sino ang gumawa
Jale Enrico:
Who's Tyler?
Koleen F:
Bri's ex-boyfriend
Remember?
Jale Enrico:
No I don't
Sorry hon
Logan Max:
Update!
Ka-frat raw natin ang gumawa
Sa soul club kagabi
My eyes shot up upon seeing that message. I was literally about to murder him myself if not for Charles' sudden appearance last night.
Logan Max:
Dre di ba nasa club ka kagabi?
May alam ka ba?
Koleen F:
Nasa club ka na naman kagabi @alexandrethegreat?
Alam ba yan ng fiancée mo?
Logan Max:
Wala na raw sila ni Olivia
Koleen F:
Ano???
I was about to type a response when the intercom suddenly chimed. Dragging my feet, I proceeded to the front door only to find two police officers staring straight back at me with unsolicited glares.
"Yes? How can I help you, officers?" I asked them.
"Ikaw ba si Alexandré Deux Laurent?" The guy officer asked.
I nodded. "That's me."
"Pwede ka bang sumama sa amin sa station?" he politely asked.
Of course, I went with them. Wala naman akong ginawang krimen. My conscience was pure as fuck.
An hour later, I was sitting inside an investigation room with a middle-aged man questioning my existence.
"Mr. Laurent, tatanungin kita ulit. Nasaan ka kahapon sa oras na alas-dos bente ng madaling araw?"
Napaismid ako sa tanong ng officer na kaharap ko.
Chewing the gum in my mouth, I decided to blow a bubble. A big one... until it popped. Fuck me! Definitely not my day today.
Dapat nasa Soul Club na ako by now... I still had to woo Charles back in my arms again.
But, no.
This man clad in blue uniform decided to ruin my day and dragged me into this shithole.
"Officer..." I paused, habang binabasa ang pangalan niya sa badge na nakadikit sa gilid ng kanyang uniform. "Officer Javier, I already told you, uminom lang ako ng juice saglit at nakipagsuntukan sa mga bastos na lalaki kagabi. Nakita niyo naman na sa CCTV. What more proof do you need to prove my innocence?"
"May bad history kayo ng biktimang si Tyler Kendrick Ravenna. Isa ka sa mga prime suspects sa nangyaring assault at attempted murder sa kanya."
Of course, I'm a suspect. "Look, Officer Javier, the only crime I'm guilty of last night is stealing women's hearts." I wiggled my brows at him.
Mukhang hindi nagustuhan ni officer dahil agad siyang tumalikod sabay senyas sa mga kasamahan niyang nakaupo sa likod ng two-way mirror dito sa loob ng investigation room.
"Dito ka muna mananatili sa selda hanggang sa may dumating na aabswelto sa'yo."
I shrugged my shoulders. "Okay lang, boss, basta bigyan niyo ako ng malambot na unan."
Umiling sa akin ang officer at hinatid ako sa likod ng rehas. There were other guys stuck inside the cell with me. Mas matanda sila kaysa sa akin. Definitely, more rotten than me.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit pinipilit nilang ako ang pumatay kay Tyler.
Well, totoo namang gusto ko talagang patayin ang gagong yon, but I got too preoccupied begging infront of the woman I love that I forgot about that prick.
Sinandal ko ang aking ulo sa pader habang nakaupo ako sa sahig. Wala talagang binigay na unan. Fuck this.
"Boy, anong kaso mo?" tanong ng isang lalaki sa akin sa loob ng selda.
I continued chewing on my gum saka ko siya tinignan. He was wearing a dirty sleeveless shirt and rugged pants.
Puno ng galos ang kanyang mukha. At sigurado akong wala siyang pambili ng toothbrush at toothpaste sa lagay ng mga ngipin niya.
I suddenly pitied the man. Mabuti nalang at medyo may distansiya kami sa isa't isa. I'm sure malakas ang bad breath nito.
"Boy, kinakausap kita," pagtawag pa ulit niya.
I stopped chewing my gum, turning to the man. "May pinatay ako," I answered, looking at him straight in the eye.
Narinig ko ang pagtikhim ng mga ibang kasama namin sa selda habang nakatingin na sa akin.
I chuckled in my mind. "Gusto mo bang isunod kita?" I teased.
Nakita ko ang paglunok ng lalaki sabay iwas ng tingin sa akin.
"Alexandré," biglang tawag ng isang officer sa akin mula sa labas ng rehas. "Makakalabas ka na."
"Already? Hindi pa nga ako nakakatulog-"
"Alexandré Deux!" Isang malalim at pamilyar na boses ang tumawag ng full name ko at isa lang ang ibig sabihin nito.
Agad akong napatayo sa aking kinauupuan habang nakita ko ang papalapit na matangkad na lalaking nakasuot ng brown na long coat at white turtleneck.
This old guy really... Does he think nasa Antarctica siya?
Pinagbuksan na rin nila ako at tinanggal ang posas sa aking mga kamay.
"Sorry, officers. He's obviously not in his right mind tonight," paliwanag pa ng lalaking nasa tabi ko.
"Okay lang, Chief. Hindi namin alam na kapatid mo pala siya."
Chief? Kailan pa siya naging chief dito?
I let out a long sigh habang naglalakad na kami palabas ng presinto.
"Long time no see, mon fréro! I didn't know you're here. How's everyone?" I spoke first because the awkward silence was killing me.
Hindi niya ako sinagot at nagpatuloy siya sa paglalakad sa parking lot hanggang sa marating namin ang kulay gold na Rolls Royce Spectre niya.
Show-off. Akala ba niya cool siya? Ang pangit naman ng design ng kotse niya.
"Nice car," I faked a praise, clucking my tongue out.
"Get in," he ordered with with his monotone voice.
"Copy, chief." Pumasok ako sa loob ng kotse, and immediately, I noticed the smell of lotus inside the car. "Lotus? Since when have you become a lotus guy?"
Wala pa rin siyang imik habang umaandar na ang kotse. Nababagot na ako.
Isidore Zero Laurent was five years older than me and he was the eldest among us. Close naman kami dati, but ever since he went to college, hindi na kami nagkita at nagkausap pa ulit. We just grew apart like that.
He became a prosecutor in France, and as far as I know, he's also an undercover agent. But, I couldn't care less anyway.
Napatingin ako sa kanya. Focused pa rin siya sa daan. Wala man lang music. Ang boring talaga niya.
I was about to touch the screen infront para mag-play ng music, nang biglang nagsalita ang lalaki.
"You didn't attempt to kill that Tyler guy, did you?"
I snapped my head at him. "Of course, I did. I hate that motherfucking bastard."
"Axe, the poor guy is in coma," Izo muttered, even mentioning my nickname that my family members liked to call me. "There's no reason for you to be cursing him anymore."
I chuckled. "So, what now? Are you going to arrest me? Why didn't you just leave me there in jail then?"
"Father wants to see you before you rot in jail," he stated so casually.
Kung hindi ko talaga siya kapatid, kanina ko pa siya sinuntok.
Looking away, napatingin ako sa bintana. It had been years since I last saw our father. In fact, I might have forgotten his face already.
"Actually, he wants to see all of us," Izo continued.
"All of us, huh?" Napatawa ako. The last time na nagkita-kita kaming magkakapatid, may namatay sa amin. It was definitely a bad idea.
"Father is dying, Axe," my brother suddenly dropped the d word that I had to look at him again.
I chuckled. "Oh, really? Why didn't he just go with grandpapi then?"
Izo glared at me. "For once, Axe, hindi ka ba talaga magtitino? How many more people do you want to see dead before you realize that not everything revolves around you? Someday, no one will save your ass."
"Ah, right. Thank you for saving my ass tonight, my precious fréro," I uttered in sarcasm.
Izo let out a long sigh. "Where are you staying? Are you still living with your good-for-nothing friends?"
"Huwag mo silang insultuhin. They're more like brothers to me than you all will ever be," I muttered.
Bigla niyang hininto ang sasakyan. "Don't speak to me that way. You don't know how fucked up my life was."
Napatawa ako. "Of course. Because my life is not as fucked up as yours."
"I'm not having this conversation with you," Izo gave in at pinagpatuloy na ulit ang pag-drive ng kotse.
We were both silent all throughout the ride after that. Binaba niya ako sa penthouse at agad naman akong binati ng mga kaibigan kong nasa living room area.
Alas-dose na ng gabi at alam kong natutulog na sila noong nag-message ako sa group chat namin tungkol sa pagkakahuli ko sa presinto.
"Dré?" Si Logan ang unang nakapansin sa aking pagdating. Halata sa mukha niyang hindi pa siya natutulog. But, I knew it wasn't because of me. Sigurado akong dahil ito sa kakaisip niya kay Ballerine na hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin niya pwedeng sundan sa New York.
I plastered a wide smile on my face. "Oh, guys, what's up? Bakit nandito kayong lahat ngayon? Anong meron?"
Tumayo si Koleen mula sa single couch habang nakahalukipkip na nakatingin sa akin. "André, ano ba ang nangyari sa club? May kinalaman ka ba sa nangyari kay Tyler?"
I chuckled. "Chill. Kung ako ang gagawa nun kay Tyler, kayo ang unang makakaalam."
"André, hindi na nakakatawa. Akala namin may nangyari na sa'yo," Koleen commented.
Nakita ko ang paghaplos ni Jale sa likuran ni Koleen para kalmahin siya.
"We all know hindi titigil dito ang gulo. Everyone already thinks that you did it," sambit pa ni Jale.
"Paano kung mag-riot ang Sigma? Lalo na ngayon na mas mataas na ang estado nila dahil sa pagkawala ng Omega," ani Logan.
Bumuntong-hininga si Koleen. "Knowing Tyler's family, baka buhay rin natin ang kapalit kapag patuloy na tayo ang pagdidiinan nila."
"Now, I'm worried for everyone's safety," Jale spoke.
"Guys, pwede ba, relax lang kayo? If it makes you feel better, magpapatulong ako sa kapatid ko para mahuli ang totoong may sala," I told them.
"Sinong kapatid?" tanong ni Logan.
"Si Lolo Izo. Siya ang nag-abswelto sa akin." I paused, letting out a soft cackle. "I didn't even know na nandito pala siya."
"Putang-" Logan stopped himself from cursing habang nakatingin sa kanyang cellphone.
"Bakit?" Koleen asked.
Pinakita sa amin ni Logan ang group chat ng Omega Phi Squad 2 na siyang handle niya. Pinindot niya ang video sa screen kung saan may babaeng nakatakip ang mata at nakatali ang mga kamay sa isang upuan. I immediately recognized her long straight hair.
"Livie!" I exclaimed, sweat already forming on my forehead.
"Si Olivia?" Koleen's eyes widened, covering her mouth in shock.
"André is not coming for me! Let me go!" Umabot dito sa penthouse ang pagsigaw ni Olivia mula sa phone screen.
I formed my hands into fists. I never thought it would end up like this. Okay lang na ako ang sisihin nila sa nangyari kay Tyler.
But, the fact na pati si Olivia ay idadamay pa nila... I was seriously going to commit a crime at this rate.
"Hindi ba ikaw ang fiancée niya?" One of the guys asked Olivia as they zoomed in on her chest.
"Fucking assholes!" I cursed out loud, marching my way towards the front door.
"Dré, teka lang! Susugod ka mag-isa?" Logan asked.
"We're coming with you," Jale offered.
"Kailangan mo ng backup. Hindi mo kakayanin mag-isa," Koleen added.
"Logan, call your dad, General Maxwell for help. Jale, stay here with Koleen and check if Fina and her child are okay. I'll call Izo to find Charles and make sure she's safe. I'm going to save Livie," I finished, proceeding outside and trying not to think of the worst that could happen.
I quickly found the location where they took Olivia. Thanks to my fratmates who were better than me at hacking IP addresses.
Malapit lang ito sa hotel nina Olivia. How amateur of them.
The moment I reached the outside of an old building, I was greeted by a group of guys hiding around the premises.
"Commander! Dito kami!" Nakita ko si Rance na papalapit sa akin kasama ang ibang mga ka-frat namin na may dalang baseball bats. Inabutan rin ako ni Rance ng isang wooden bat nang marating niya ako.
"Kanina pa kayo dito?" I asked them.
Rance nodded. "Hinihintay ka lang namin para full force tayo."
Tumango na rin ako. "Let's go, Suicide Squad!"
With one bat in hand and the other clutching my chest, I led the way inside the old building. Madilim, mabaho at puno ng alikabok ang loob nito. It didn't take long until I finally heard Olivia's voice again.
"I said let me go! You psychos!" she yelled. "You will all rot in jail! I'm telling you!"
"Takpan mo na nga yang bibig niyan. Nakakairita na," sabi ng isang lalaki.
I cleared my throat, preparing myself to sing a nostalgic song. "Tagu-taguan... maliwanag ang buwan... pagbilang ko ng sampu, nakatago na kayo..."
Gamit ang baseball bat, pinapalo ko ang pader na dinadaanan namin habang nagbibilang ako. "Isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat, lima, anim, pito, walo, siyam, sampu... Ready or not, here I come!" anunsiyo ko.
Just then, I finally caught sight of Olivia in the corner of a room, eyes and mouth covered and both hands tied on her back.
"Don't kill anyone, boys!" paalala ko sa mga kasama ko at sinimulan na rin nilang turuan ng leksiyon ang mga miyembro ng Sigma.
In the middle of the rumble, I rushed towards the woman who got dragged into this mess. "Livie!" Niyakap ko siya ng ilang segundo bago ko tinanggal ang takip sa kanyang mata at bibig.
"André?" humihikbing sabi nito habang nakatingin sa akin.
After taking off the tie from her hands, I scooped her up in my arms, carrying all her weight. "I'm sorry, Livie," I mumbled, habang palabas na kami ng building. She didn't answer me back, but I could hear her soft sobs.
"Dadalhin kita sa ospital," I told her as we finally reached outside. I gently put her down on my motorbike. "Can you hold on to me while I drive?"
"I thought you're not coming, André..." she finally spoke in whisper. "I really thought you won't care."
"Livie..." I placed a hand on top of her head, caressing it. "Of course I care. After all, kasalanan ko kung bakit ka nila dinakip."
"Sorry, André..." she rested her head on my chest. "I'm sorry that you had to come save me."
I clutched my other hand while I pulled her closer to me. "Livie... don't say that. Don't apologize."
She slowly raised her head, looking straight into my eyes. "Thank you for giving me a chance to love you, André. I can finally let my heart be at peace."
"Livie, stay with me..." I hushed, but her eyes were already closed, her head resting on my chest.
In that same moment, a siren from a police car deafened the silence in my heart.
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