She knew it was just sex, and strictly so, but somehow that didn't seem to make the situation any better at all, not that Lindsey had really expected it to, because she knew all too well that Gerard had feelings for Jimmy, and she knew all too well that she was fucking him over, in quite a literal sense, as she sat in bed with Jimmy in the aftermath of what she'd done.

Jimmy didn't seem very fussed by the whole ordeal, leaning over to the bedside table and lighting a joint, as if there was nothing wrong with this, not that there would be, in his mind, that was. Lindsey knew far too much about Jimmy Urine for her own liking, but evidently not enough, because she still found herself in his bed, even after all these fucking years, even after she reckoned she'd sorted this mess of hers out.

"You want a smoke?" Jimmy asked, gesturing towards the bag of weed on his bedside table, "pot, I mean, but whatever, I have cigs too. I have a lot of other drugs too - you can have anything you want, Lindsey."

"I want you to shut the fuck up." She snapped, turning away, and biting her lip, because fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Babe... what's wrong?" He let out a sigh, moving in the sheets to sit beside her, and again offering her his joint - this time she accepted, because fuck it.

"You're wrong, this is wrong: I feel guilty, because apparently, unlike you, I actually give a fuck about Gerard and how he's going to feel about this-"

"He doesn't have to know, and what he doesn't know can't hurt him, can it?" Jimmy grinned, taking his joint back, but Lindsey simply shook her head in response.

"It can, because he will find out. Gerard's not stupid... stupid enough to sleep with you, but not stupid enough to keep doing it, or at least I hope not, for his own sake, that is." She let out a sigh, meeting Jimmy's gaze in something like defeat.

"And you are?" He raised his eyebrows at that.

"It seems so."

"I wouldn't call you stupid, Lindsey." He added, and he did actually seem to mean it for once, which seemed to shock the both of them, "I'm just irresistible, but, yeah, this was probably a bad decision on your part, because you get too attached and I don't do commitment, and I prefer guys to girls, and Gerard has a prettier ass than you, I'm sorry, but it's true."

"I know," Lindsey let out a sigh, "I've seen his ass - me and Gerard have fucked."

"I see a very simple conclusion to this mess, you know?" Jimmy's face fell into a grin - the kind of grin that made Lindsey want to punch him in the face instantaneously, but with Jimmy Urine, that was the only kind of grin.

"Yeah?" Lindsey seemed apprehensive and she had plenty reason to be.

"Threesome. Threesomes solve everything! We have a threesome: you, me, Gerard, and then we can all love each other, and it'll be great!" And Jimmy just sounded far too much like he wasn't joking for Lindsey's liking, or sanity, for that matter.

"Yeah, I'd rather not. Jimmy you're just getting in the way here: Gerard has Frank, and I'm pretty sure that they're going to get back together soon, and Frank's like three feet tall but he will punch you in the face if you make a move on Gerard... Frank kind of loves him, even, I reckon, but I don't know recently, because he went off with Jamia who's like the epitome of hatred and depression in the universe, like I don't even know if she physically possesses the capacity to smile anymore, and like... we used to be best friends, and then... I don't even know what happened really, but there was one hell of a mess of an argument and now she hates my guts."

"Isn't that just what girls do on a regular basis?" Jimmy asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Don't be a sexist asshole, Jimmy, you're already an asshole, you don't want to be a sexist one too." Lindsey let out a sigh, and dragged her gaze away from the fuckboy beside her. "Why the fuck do I keep sleeping with assholes?"

"Because you love ass." Jimmy finished for her, laughing a little, "you should try anal if you love assholes so much-"

"Fuck off." She shook her head in disbelief, and seriously considered killing the guy, but talking to Jimmy was better than talking to herself, even if only slightly, it was still something. "I want to fix things with Jamia but I don't know how."

"Literally just text her and tell her that you're sorry and that you'll always be best friends and make some sort of soppy dramatic Facebook post about how much you love her with some weird throwback and some cheesy photo of the two of you from like a year ago - that always works with girls." He continued, leaning back onto the bed, and groaning aloud, "hey, if my advice gets you your best friend back will you have sex with me again?"

"How about no?" Lindsey shook her head, grabbing her phone from her jeans on the floor, "it's not like you've ruined things enough already, is it?"

"I'm not ruining things, Lindsey, you just need someone to pin the blame on, don't you, come on, now, don't lie to me about this." He grinned, watching as she tapped something into her phone. "If this does work, you do actually owe me one, and the easiest way to settle that debt would be a fuck, because otherwise I'll get you drug smuggling or something, and I really doubt that that's something you want to do."

"Jimmy, do you seriously not have anyone else to fuck? Anything better to do with your time?" She let out a sigh, as she hit send on the message she'd typed to Jamia.

"Well yeah, but you're here, like close, and I really don't want to get out of bed right now, so, you know, convenience?"

Lindsey shook her head: unconvinced, "I'll give you a blowjob if you shut the fuck up, permanently, like get the fuck out of my life."

Jimmy's lips turned up into a grin, "deal."

-

Frank knew exactly what was going to come of this, and still, he agreed to it, perhaps just because he wanted to prove to himself that he was especially stupid, because this certainly highlighted that fact.

The thing Frank most wanted to avoid in life was seeing Gerard again, and exactly how was he planning to do that? Oh yes, by agreeing to go to Gerard's house with Pete and Ray.

Well, technically, he'd rather say it was Mikey's house, because it was Mikey's too, and it wasn't like he was going to see Gerard; he wasn't even going to see Mikey, he was just providing some emotional support for Pete, because Ray had glared at him in a way that signified that he would indeed blackmail him if he didn't just fucking do this.

And Frank had as much of a backbone as he had common sense, so, fuck, there he was, waiting with the two boys on Gerard's- Mikey's doorstep, but it would be Gerard who would answer the door, because from what he'd picked up from the other two, Mikey wasn't exactly in the best of states at that very moment in time.

There'd been this whole mess where he'd tried to kill himself, and then Pete thought he actually had, which was mess all around, as you can imagine, but now, he's just kind of emotionally fucked up, and confined to his house or something of the like, because Gerard told their mother, and from what Pete had said, apparently Mikey hadn't spoke to his brother since, and Frank couldn't blame him, because he was very much in the same position with Gerard himself.

Frank seriously could not face Gerard again, though, because he most definitely would try and get him on his own again and try and talk some 'sense' into him, and Frank knew that today wasn't the best of days, and therefore he was already prone to a few violent urges, and he was beginning to worry for that pretty face of Gerard's, and just what his fist could do to it.

Frank knew for sure that he actually hated Ray for this, because he didn't have to be here, Ray had just dragged him into it, and yeah, okay, it was kind of the right thing to do, and Mikey was actually his friend too, but he reckoned that Mikey might be able to understand the circumstances once Frank had explained them to him, and anyway, it wasn't like Mikey was a big supporter of his and Gerard's 'thing' in the first place.

'Thing', because 'relationship' was no fucking word for it, and in fact, there was no fucking word for it at all, and Frank didn't even know why he cared so much; it was simply a matter of walking straight past the guy when he let them in, and talking to Mikey, and watching Pete gush over Mikey for a while, and then leaving, again while ignoring Gerard.

But even now, Frank already know that it was going to be far from that simple, and as the door finally opened and the nineteen year old faced the three of them with an awkward kind of smile, Frank's beliefs were little but reinforced.

"Hey, Mikey's up in his room," Gerard muttered, avoiding Frank's gaze as he did so, and stepping aside to let the three inside, and of course, Frank had to be the last of the three, and of course, Pete had to be wearing a pair of shoes that took twelve years to unlace, so they were stood there awkwardly, Frank and Gerard just trying not to acknowledge one another's existence, as Ray stood beside them awkwardly.

"These shoes fucking suck." Pete groaned, as he finally pulled them off.

"You don't say." Frank let out a groan, his tone absolutely anything but enthusiastic and it showed, and Gerard was chuckling to himself before common sense kicked in, and there was a part of Frank's mind that deemed it socially acceptable to glare him down for that.

"Jesus Christ..." Ray exclaimed, shaking his head a little, as he looked between the two of them, "you need to sort this out, like seriously, I feel uncomfortable with you two just glaring at each other beside me."

"I don't need to do anything-" Frank protested like the stroppy little teenager he was.

"Frank, we're going to go see Mikey, and you and Gerard are going to sort this mess out by yourselves, okay?" Ray began, Pete making his way upstairs a little.

"Fuck, no that's not okay, I want to see Mikey-"

"You didn't even want to come in the first place, you're talking to Gerard." Ray continued, meeting Gerard's gaze this time, and the older boy didn't seem entirely so opposed to the idea, which gave Ray just a little bit of hope.

"I wonder the fuck why I didn't want to come." Frank groaned, but watched in disbelief as Ray and Mikey made their way upstairs, and he was left with the actual spawn of Satan, or Gerard, as he was most often referred to.

"So... Frank, how's your life been?" Gerard dragged his words out awkwardly, swallowing hard, as Frank turned around, intent upon continuing to glare at him.

"Shit, how was fucking Jimmy Urine?" Frank decided being blunt was the best way to go about this, and it most definitely seemed to be the way that gave him the greatest reaction from Gerard.

"Alright..." Gerard shrugged off, making his way into the kitchen; Frank followed him, and without a single clue as to why he did so. "He's just another fuck, though, you know?"

"No, Gerard, I don't know," Frank shook his head in disbelief, "I have a conscience, and I don't make a hobby out of breaking people's hearts and fucking with their heads, unlike some people."

Gerard paused, simply heading to the backdoor and towards the garden in the place of responding, and yet again, Frank followed him, and seriously, fuck knows why he did that. Fuck knows why he even agreed to come here in the first place either.

"Things with Bert are complicated," Gerard began, taking a seat on the grass, leaving Frank, to once again mimic his actions, "I met him like four years ago, we've been on and off dating for four years, and it's always been a weird kind of thing, an open kind of thing, and the only thing I'm used to, and I'm kind of nervous and freaked out about everything else, and yeah, Bert's an asshole, but he's just comforting, in a way, like... when fifteen year old me need a confidence boost he was there, when sixteen year old me needed a relationship he was there, when seventeen year old me needed every drug on the fucking planet he was there, when eighteen year old me needed help with personal issues he was there, and when nineteen year old me needed someone to talk to in the early hours of the morning when I was slightly drunk and you were asleep and I'd fucked up... he was there."

"And I'm just the kid who you barely know, but isn't an asshole, but is just a kid... and yet, you'll fuck Lindsey, because despite the fact that we're the same age, she's not a kid and I am..." Frank trailed off, shaking his head.

"Is that all this is about to you? Fucking?" Gerard raised his eyebrows, not having quite expected that.

"Isn't that what everything is about with you?" Frank avoided the question, but Gerard already knew his answer.

"Not necessarily." He let out a sigh, pulling a packet of cigarettes from his pocket, and lighting one, before offering one to Frank.

"I can't imagine you doing a 'relationship' thing, I can't imagine you even possessing any kind of positive emotions." Frank decided blunt, brutal honest was the best idea here, and it seemed like Gerard was something like stuck with it.

"Neither can I..." Gerard laughed a little, "I can do emotions though, I promise, look this is me smiling right now, because I'm happy-"

"Why the fuck are you happy?" Frank snapped, genuinely curious. "I'm not happy."

"I wanted to see you again, and you're actually listening to me, and you haven't even punched me in the face yet." Gerard admitted, leaving Frank blushing, just a little, not that he'd ever admit that to anyone, of course.

"Yeah, I was planning on doing that later." Frank shrugged it off, still blushing, and doing a terrible job of hiding his face indeed.

"Jesus, Frankie, do you not care about my pretty face? I've got to protect it - it's my only asset, you know, like what am I without the pretty face?" Gerard laughed it off nervously.

"You're so much more than just a pretty face, Gerard," Frank admitted, and he meant it so much more than he'd ever care to admit. "You're... you, I mean... I don't quite know what to say, I mean, I'm supposed to hate you, but I'm doing a pretty shitty job of that right now, and I think that says a lot."

"Does it now?" Gerard raised an eyebrow, and Frank nodded, leaving the two in an odd kind of complacent silence for the next few minutes.

Frank was the first to speak and break the aforementioned silence. "What happened with Mikey? I didn't get much from Pete, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't even listening to the majority of it... not that I don't care about Mikey, it's just Pete... he cares too much about Mikey, if you know what I mean?"

Gerard let out an odd kind of nervous giggle, inhaling sharply as he did so, "yeah, kind of... well... I came back home on a Friday night, and I called out to Mikey just to say I'm home, but there was no response, and that was a bit odd, but I thought maybe he just had headphones in, so I didn't think much of it, until I saw the empty pill bottles on the cabinet, and I reckon I had about seven heart attacks then and there, and I stormed upstairs, and started banging on his door, and I... fuck, I made him throw up, and he turned out okay, and I ended up yelling a him, which I probably shouldn't have in consideration of the circumstances, but I was panicking, you know? And... I didn't ask much, just to respect his privacy, but I was the text from Pete on his phone, and he'd told Pete about how he was planning to kill himself, and Mikey saw me with his phone, and we argued a little, but I just told him I loved him, and I think he was pretty tired already so we just went to sleep, and I didn't think about the pill bottles until mum asked me about them, and of course blamed me, because I'm of course the horrible child here, but I had to tell her the truth, because she's heard every pill related excuse I've got before, and Mikey didn't like that, and he hasn't spoken to me since, and... and... with both you and him not talking to me, I made some stupid decisions, and I lashed out at Bert via text, and now he's not talking to me either, and even Lindsey hasn't replied to my messages in a few days, but I don't know if that's incidental or not, so all I had was Jimmy... and with Jimmy it was a lot of sex, and he's a good guy, but he's more of a good fuck than a good guy. I miss you, Frank, I miss everyone, and my head's a mess too. It fucking sucks, you know?"

"I'm sorry." Frank exhaled loudly, leaning closer to Gerard as he did so, "I'm really fucking sorry, I shouldn't have done that thing with Bert, and I don't like Bert, I'm sorry, but there's no way around that, but he means a lot to you whether you're together or not, like... some people, you just know them so well, that there's kind of no escaping them, is it like that?"

"Yeah," Gerard nodded, "I guess, you're more important than Bert, though, I actually feel like I can talk to you, you know? Because with Bert, I can at first, but then he has this awful habit of throwing everything back in your face when he's drunk, and Mikey doesn't want to see me at all, and ugh... I just... I wish I wasn't such a fuck up."

"You're not a fuck up, Gerard."

"Then what the fuck am I, because it looks an awful lot like a massive fuck up?"

"You're... you're... you're..." And that was when Frank kissed Gerard, because he reckoned that was a hell of a lot better than saying 'I don't know', which was kind of Frank's only other option there.

-

hey guys look update ayyy frerard vibes aff??? i hope you liked it and it would be v v v cool if u could vote and comment and shit if you did pals!!! i love you lots !!!