Requested by @ReadingWritingMyLife

I'm doing a gif inspired thing because shit do they inspire me.

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  How do you love someone who won't come to hold you close.

  How do you love someone who smiles when you're not around.

  How do you love someone who is nothing like you.

  I'm not the only one who has struggled with this. I may be the only elf, but I'm not the only person.

  Fucking hell, the resent burned in my throat when I saw him talking to her. I wanted to cry but it just felt like a coal was shoved into my esophagus and wouldn't move. It just grew bigger and bigger until I willed myself to walk away and wallow in self pity.

  I didn't hate Sophie. I didn't hate her at all. I loved my adopted cousin with all of my heart and soul. It was him I hated.

  Fitzroy Avery Vacker.

  Isn't it ironic that the first person you learned to hate ends the first person who you learned to love? More than anticipated?

  I hate the way he makes me love him.

  No elf has ever been plagued with such thoughts. The thoughts of..homosexuality. How was I supposed to live with it? I had nobody to turn to. Nobody to help me feel like it was completely normal.

  I felt out of place. My skin burned with every thought of Fitz. I loved him. God, love is a pain in the ass.

  Homosexuality is that unique spice that they put in foods and you don't know about it until you read the ingredients.

  I am the food.

  Fitz is that long list of ingredients.

  "Dex?" A crisp voice questioned. My blurred vision cleared and I locked gazes with teal eyes of a god.

  Shit.

  "Uhm..Yeah?" I mustered out, not wanting to stutter.  He offered me a small smile before pointing at the gadget in my hand.

  I wasn't entirely sure about what it was. It looked like a puzzle but also like a remote control. That had no definite shape.

  My pale cheeks flushed before I moved the device in my hand."I'm not sure what it is."I admitted in a quiet voice, looking off in the distance.

  Fitz laughed and took a seat infront of me. He reached over and took the item out of my hand. Our fingertips brushed together for a millisecond but to me it meant a million years.

  He began to fiddle with it, eyes trained on the object. I nervously ran a hand through my strawberry blonde hair before nibbling at my nails, shivering in fear.

  "How do you not know what it is, Dex? You were just staring off into oblivion, disassembling then reassembling it about 14 times." He persisted, tilting his head up.

  I huffed. Telepaths. Wonderboy sure was persistent, I'll give him that.

  I gazed down at my hands."Maybe it's a Technopath thing..."I trailed off, not having the energy to go into detail on my irrelevant theory.

  "You've been avoiding me."

  I looked up, surprised by the sudden remark. I didn't think I was avoiding him. Fitz and I rarely spoke, what exactly did he consider avoiding?

  "Uh..no..."

  I really couldn't say anything else.

  If I did avoid Fitz without realizing it, then it must've been because I've been trying to figure out what's wrong with me.

  Fitz was a drug. An extremely addictive drug. I had nobody who could relate to me on this subject. So I mainly kept to myself. I couldn't handle it all at once. The emotions, the hormones. The regret of not telling everyone. The fear of others finding out. The self-loathing and disgust. I had to take it one day at a time.

  You can't buy a guitar and expect yourself to learn everything in a day.

  "Dex. You've been ignoring me all week. What's wrong?" Fitz persisted. He stopped at nothing to get what he wanted. He could be surfing through my mind right now and I wouldn't know.

  But I wasn't stupid enough to come crumbling down so easily.

  "It's nothing."

  I heard a loud clink and looked up to see Fitz staring at me. The object had fallen from his hands onto the ground. His eyebrows furrowed and a frown creased his lips. Fitz got off of the beanbag and started crawling closer to me. Instantly I began to scoot away. But he kept advancing. I didn't know what to do. Questions, answers, theories, and comments swirled around my head. I kept going and going.

  Then my back slammed into the wall and the wind was knocked out of me.

  "Dex.."

  His hot breath tickled my lips and sent shivers down my spine. His eyes were so focused on me, I felt exposed under his meticulous gaze. Fitz could probably kill me at the rate he was going.

  "F-Fitz."

  Fuck.

  He smirked and let out a low chuckle before sitting up. Every tensed muscle in my body relaxed.

  Fitz placed his hand on my shoulder. "You can tell me anything, Dex. I promise. I won't judge you. Don't worry about crying or anything else like that. Just lean on me. Thats what I'm here for." (A/N|| hAH I used a Neverseen pickup line.)

  I was ready to break.

  This boy had me on a leash that he didn't even know was in his hand. I was ready to drop to my knees, beg, and roll over just for him. I was willing to do anything for Fitz.

  "Sophie." I blurted.

  "..Sophie?" He echoed.

  There was no going back now.

  "D-Do you like Sophie?" I asked, unable to make eye contact.

  Fitz snorted."What kind of question is that?"

  "Don't evade my damn question." I snapped. I didn't know I had it in me to yell at Fitz. But I did."You've spent all week with her. I thought you were too focused on her to care about me."

  I heard Fitz growl a little. I got a little too personal. But I wanted Fitz to know. He deserved to know.

  Fitz had a cold gaze now."Don't you dare bring Sophie into this. You're being petty."

  "OH. I'M BEING PETTY?" I reeled on him, standing up from my spot on the floor."You didn't know who I was before Sophie. Hadn't it been for Sophie, you probably still would've been calling me Dac. What the fuck kind of name is Dac?"I ranted, shoving my finger in his face.

  Fitz stood and grabbed my finger, shoving it out of the way.

  "I said don't put Sophie's name in your mouth when you have nothing good to say." He barked."She didn't do anything to you!"

  "SHE DID EVERYTHING!" I yelled back.

  The argument didn't last long but I was already red faced and blotchy, tears streaming down my cheeks as I cried.

  "People like you never notice people like me. All so high and mighty on your pedestals above us. What brings you down to Earth are people like Sophie. She did everything. She brought you down. She brought you to me." My voice quivered as my mouth hung open, trying to find the right words.

  "But when it comes down to you and me, I still stand in Sophie's shadow."

  "Dex I don't know what you're talking about-"

  "YOU DAMN WELL KNOW!" I shoved Fitz in anger but it was pitiful. He just stood there and watched me with a dumb look on his handsome face.

  "How am I supposed to go through the rest of my godforsaken eternal life watching someone I love be with someone who isn't me? Do you think this is easy? Do you think it's easy for me to see you with somebody else? It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

  I breathed heavily before raking a hand through my hair, looking up at the clueless dark haired elf.

  "I don't want to go through withdrawal. You turn into a medicine from a drug when you're around Sophie and all I want is to take more of you. But how do I do that when you lack the proper compounds?"I made no sense.

    Fitz walked towards me and placed his hands on my shoulders. Then gently rubbed my arm in a soothing manner. He pulled me to his chest and buried his face into my hair. I could hear soft sniffling and his chest shook.

  "Nothing is ever easy."