I've decided there has to be one for every guy. Tam has his. It's Fitz's turn.

---

Mama was a bit naïve
And her Daddy was a blinded thief
He went and stole away what was left of the remains of a family

  [YN] had always been a little distanced. She was never the happiest person. But she never failed to make others around her happy. She was a powerful [YT]. A simple benefit that was overlooked when Sophie and the others accepted her into their group of friends. Her smiles hid everything. Her laughter was a cloak. They never assumed that deep down, she wasn't okay.

  "We can go over to your place to study for Alchemy."Fitz suggested. Her [YEC] widened.

  "No!..I mean..No. My place is never clean anyways. How about we go over to Candleshade? Everglen? Rimeshire? Havenfield? Anywhere but my place. Please."She insisted, tugging on the sleeves of her tunic nervously.

  Before Keefe or Dex could protest, Fitz agreed."Yeah, we'll go over to my place. I'm sure my dad would enjoy your company again."

  It didn't bother the others that [YN] was constantly over at Everglen.

  But it did bother Fitz. He couldn't figure out why she never wanted to go home. Every time he interrogated [YN], she either burst into tears or completely avoided the question.

  "Dad, do you know anything that could possibly be wrong over at [YHN]?"Fitz asked.

  Alden slowly shook his head, the grip around the scrolls in his arms tightening. "Why?"

  Fitz hesitated before telling him.

  Nobody knew that [YN] parents constantly fought. Nobody knew she was the product of a bad match. Nobody knew the life she lived and the pain she endured.

She'd hide away behind the door she kept locked,
But the walls weren't thick enough to block out
Angry noises of the voices that once soothed her sleep

  When she did get home, she rushed to lock herself in her room. While she was at home, she didn't leave her temple of solitude. Not wanting to get caught in the crosshairs of her parents' constant verbal- and sometimes physical- battles. She missed the parents she knew as a child. Tucking her in to bed. Singing her to sleep. Making her custard bursts and ripplefluffs. Now they screamed at each other like banshees. Insults being slung through the air. This was it on a day to day basis.

  [YN] had a schedule on when they fought. And it was never planned. They just somehow found a natural way to fight at certain times of the day. Her hope dissipated years ago when she realized nothing could drown out the ungodly howls of her parents.

And she lies,
Tonight,
Underneath the caving roof,
And she cries,
Tonight,
Wondering what she can do
And she tries,
Tonight,
Remembering who she once knew,
They've died inside..
Another empty bottle takes a life..

  "You fucking drunkard! Just because you have access to the Forbidden Cities doesn't mean you should constantly go and get wasted!"Her mother yelled.

  There was a resonating slap that made [YN] dig her head into her pillow. But of course, it never worked. She could still hear her mother crying, collapsed against the wall as her father went to pass out on the bed from intoxication and forget everything in the morning. Like clockwork.

  Tears streamed down her face. "What could I possibly do to keep them from arguing? I've already tried.."She mumbled to herself. The family foundation of their home was crumbling. And soon enough, the minute her father walked out and slammed that door, the roof would cave in.

  She looked at a photo on the coffee table next to her bed. When she was five. They were so happy. Unable to find any flaws within each other, unable to hate. [YN] glanced up and stared at her door. She was silent for a long time. She could hear the shaky sobs coming from her mother. She turned her gaze to the photo once again. In anger, she used her telekinesis and threw it at the wall.

  The people in the photo were gone.

  They didn't exist anymore.

  They never did.

This world can be so cruel,
She lives her life as a broken tool,
And she believes she's unable to fix this broken machine
 
She stared down at her work blankly on the desk every day. In her head, [YN] knew how to do it all. She knew every answer. But..she had lost sight of the point. She didn't know why she bothered anymore. She knew she wasn't ever going to fix her family. It would be this way for the rest of eternity. [YN] sometimes wondered what made her keep going.

  She didn't have any determination to fix her family.

  She didn't want to live to make a life better than the one she lived now.

  Maybe..it was Fitz...She had never come to a complete conclusion of what emotion she felt towards the teal-eyed Telepath. All she could come up with was that her heart beat a second faster when they locked eye contact. And that it became a speeding train when he smiled at her. But she didn't want to have any emotions..

What's the use to throw yourself at love,
If in the end it never seems enough,
To be able to get through all of life's broken dreams

  [YN] gave up on her life, but also her love life. Fitz didn't like her. He liked Sophie. And he may have never said it. But [YN] wasn't stupid. They were Cognates. Cognates told each other everything. And eventually, that secret would spill and Fitz's emotions would awaken from their dormant state. Or he'd feel bad and tell her he reciprocated, and then in the end he'd begin to love her like she did for him.

  Even if Fitz did like her, it wouldn't be enough. She didn't want to milk him dry of all of his joy for herself because she never had any. She didn't want to make him miserable. Because no matter what, she'd always be empty.

  She had goals for herself when she was just a child. To grow up and not have to have a Willowing Gala and simply find your Number One on your own. To have a happy family for all eternity. To grow up normal.

  But fate just decided to ruin your life, didn't it? Dreams were for the hopeful. Not the hopeless. She didn't have room in her life for dreams.

She watched her father live in regret,
Heard her mother crying herself to bed,
And she swears,
This is the best life gets

  [YN] watched silently as her mother made dinner. This was the first time she had ever had calm silence in [YHN]. She intended on preserving it. The front door opened and her father strode in. His cape swaying. Her mother held up a finger, glaring deeply.

  "Don't. Say. A word. I just want to get through dinner like a normal family."She said, her voice threatening to break into a yell.

  She looked at [YN]. [YN] knew her mother regretted every fight. Not because of what she was saying, but because of how every fight made their daughter take three more steps back and forget the parents she once knew as loving.

  Her father heaved a sigh, his shoulders clearly heavy with regret as he sat down at the table across from his dead daughter. [YN]'s [YEC] eyes followed her mother's form as she set the plates of food on the table. She sat down herself, saying absolutely nothing. They ate in peace.

  "So how was your day?"Her mother chirped. [YN] didn't open her mouth. She knew she wasn't being addressed.

  It was her father.

  "I..."He hesitated. He had this look on his face. She knew what it meant. He knew that if he said what happened, his periodically stable world would collapse inwardly.

  "I was fired."

  The sound of a fork clattering to a plate was enough for [YN] to stand up, mumble "I'll excuse myself", and walk to her room. Her [YHC] hair hiding the forlorn look on her [ST] face.

  Her parents began to yell and scream at each other as she walked up the stairs. But it didn't even last two minutes, oddly. Her mother passed her on the stairs, retreating into her room. [YN] hurried up the stairs, standing outside her mother's room. She pressed her ear to the door, hearing soft crying muffled by something. Probably a pillow.

  She frowned and heard something ringing in her room. Her Imparter. [YN] headed back to her room, looking at the screen. Fitz. She accepted the call, seeing the male elf's concerned teal eyes."Are you okay?"He asked calmly.

  [YN] narrowed her eyes.

Oh and she lies,
Tonight ,
Underneath the caving roof,
And she cries,
Tonight,
Wondering what she can do,
And she tries,
Tonight,
But she's out of memories that she once knew,
She dies inside,
Another empty bottle takes a life

  "No." She hung up.

And every little bit,
Every little bit of her wants to see the light,

  [YN] laid face up, staring at the dark roof blankly. There was nothing left to resurrect of her family. It was torn beyond repair. She was invisible to her parents. She was invisible to others. Even if Fitz asked what was wrong, [YN] heard a hollow "We haven't talked, might as well act like I care."

  Would it ever stop? Would her suffering ever come to a halt? Right was smeared with wrong. Wrong had disappeared behind a veil of right. All she wanted was for it to stop.

  Stop.

  Stop.

  Please stop.

Oh but every single night a little bit of her dies inside,
She's trapped in her mind,
She feels more alive,
She feels more alive,
In her own dreams,
And she's wondering,
What's beyond the sky,
Could she see the light if..
She falls asleep..

  Nobody could bring her back. She didn't want to go back. A slumberry addict. A sedative addict. [YN] managed to get her hands on everything that could knock her out. Every dream she had made her want to slip away. They were conjured up by her mind. They would never be real.

  Fitz suffered.

  He suffered while she cried every night until she stopped. She ran dry. He took all her tears and cried them himself. She'd fall asleep in class. And on some occasions, he couldn't wake her up. It terrified him to see her at that point. Hooked over the drugs. She had taken so many.. she was beyond the point of being awaken by other people.

So tonight,
She lies,
Lifted up through her own roof,
With dried eyes,
Tonight,
There's nothing more than she could do,
And they cry,
Tonight,
A daughter that they hardly knew,
She's lost..in time..

  One class, one fateful day..Fitz glanced over to see her once again with her head rested on the desk. Only this time there was a smile on her face. She looked happier than ever before. Was she having a wonderful dream?

  Fitz glanced back and forth before gently nudging [YN]. A strand of her [YHC] hair fell into her face. Her beautiful [YEC] eyes didn't open to meet his teal orbs. They remained closed. He prodded her ribs before noticing something. The strand in her face wasn't moving.

  Had she been breathing, it'd be pushed away from her nose. But it simply rested. It rested eerily on the tip of her nose, not moving an inch. Fitz's eyebrows furrowed in horror and he jumped out of his desk, ignoring the surprised looks on his classmate's faces. And the scolds of the teacher. He pressed his finger under her nose.

  No breathing.

  Nothing.

  For 5 minutes.

  Fitz's lips parted. He wanted to scream. But nothing came out. He cradled her head to his chest, crying gently before everyone realized what happened. She had overdosed on sedatives.

  The day after, there was an immediate Wanderling planting. [YN]'s parents were crying. Hard. They never paid attention. They never noticed the signs. But nobody there cried as hard as Fitz. He never got to tell her the truth of his feelings.

  Every hour since he found her dead, he had wondered whether telling her he loved her would've kept her with them. Would she still be at his side if she knew Fitz loved her with every bone in his body? Had he been too late?

  Yet none of them knew she was happy. When she passed, it had been peaceful. She knew she was leaving. She felt her heartbeat slow down. She felt herself slip away.

  She had imagined death so much it seemed more like a memory. (hAMILTON.)

  "Teach me how to say goodbye..."

Another empty bottle takes a life..

---

  I finished listening to all of the Hamilton soundtrack writing this. I was listening to The World Was Wide Enough when I wrote the last few sentences.

DEATH DOESN'T DISCRIMINATE BETWEEN THE SINNERS AND THE SAINTS, IT TAKES AND IT TAKES AND IT TAKES-