The blank plain white ceiling.

His light brown eyes focused on nothing while his brain tried to pick out one favourite memory from his life so far. This moment had certainly made the list.

Lying on his couch, he turned his head sideways to look at the other boy in the room. Tae lay on the couch opposite his own, one arm under his head and eyes on the ceiling, like his own was a few seconds ago.

Out of the blue, when Tae called him and asked if he could come over to stay the night, Jimin was more than thrilled. This was the first time any of his friends had visited his house.

Now that he was eighteen and successfully keeping his parents happy, he felt courageous enough to openly do what he liked without feeling a little guilty.

“Tae?”

“Mm?” Tae hummed in response.

“What are you thinking?”

“Nothing.”

Jimin pouted.

“Anything happen with Kookie?” he asked unsure of whether or not he should.

“Someday I’ll tell you Jiminah. But not today,” Tae replied as he closed his eyes.

He should have known. If Tae had requested to stay a night way from Kookie, obviously something really bad must have happened. They were ‘Taekook’ after all.

Suddenly an idea occured to him.
Sitting up he said, as he changed the subject,
”let’s party tomorrow! We’ll eat, drink and have lots of fun! Forget all our worries!”

Tae turned his face and saw a very excited Jimin smiling at him. Anyone who ever saw those eye smiles and chubby cheeks was never able to resist his charm. Tae smiled back.

“Okay,” he chuckled with a nod, “on one condition.”

Jimin furrowed his brow in doubt.

“*Noraebang!” Tae showed off a sly grin.

“NORAEBANG!!!” Jimin smiled again as he screamed at the top of his voice and stood atop the couch.

(*Noraebang – Karaoke in Korea that you visit with your loved ones).

-----

The following morning Kookie head straight to Hoseok’s and they left together for Noraebang. The rest had decided to meet them at the venue.

Yoongi, Joon and Jin had already reached by the time they got there. A few minutes later Tae arrived with Jimin. Even though the boys noticed the distance between Tae and Kookie, they decided to not interfere.

It was a fun night. They sang a lot. Then they drank a lot. And then they danced some. And sang some more. It was a fun night indeed.

Kookie held the microphone in his hand and stared at the screen now. Eyes droopy, threatening to fall asleep, he felt like a drunk. He was sitting on the floor leaning against Hoseok’s leg who was sitting on the couch. They were technically the only ones who hadn’t had a drink at all.

Kookie looked around. Yoongi and Jin looked immensely drunk. While Jin tried to sing and dance to a non-existent song using whatever energy was left in him, Yoongi appeared the total opposite. He lay on the comfortable couch, his legs up on the table. He kept staring at his phone.

Even though he drank, Joon seemed sober. He was watching Jin who had now started to scream an unidentifiable song. Regardless of his screaming he looked really handsome in a pink sweater.

“I think I need to get fashion tips from hyung now! He looks so cute!” Hoseok shouted at Kookie’s ear.

Kookie chuckled, covered his ears and finally let his eyes fall on the one thing he was trying to avoid the whole night.

Tae.

Tae, who was sitting so close to Jimin. They looked as if stuck together by glue. Tae had his arm around the other one and were busy taking selcas. They’d make weird faces and later look at the pictures and laugh.

Hyung looks so happy with him.
Kookie thought.

When his eyes met with Jimin’s, Jimin waved his arm gesturing Kookie to join them. Meanwhile when Tae ignored this motion by staring into Jimin’s phone, Kookie’s face fell and he shook his head as his response.

Watching Tae chuckle and be happy again with Jimin, ignited something within himself. Events from the previous night rushed to him. Events from three years prior clouded his mind.

He didn’t like this feeling. Something was boiling. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. As if his head was going to explode. He was like a volcano ready to burst soon. And he did.

“WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF? JUST STOP IT! MY EARS MIGHT BLEED IF I LISTEN TO THIS NONSENSE ANYMORE!”

There was an immediate silence in the room. Their eyes shifted from the boy in distress to the microphone thrown on the floor, feeling very much sober now. This was a side of Kookie that wasn’t seen much by them.

Regretting his sudden outburst, he sighed and looked up. While everyone looked at him with open mouths, Jin however, who was the object of his rage, had an unreadable expression.

Kookie instantly decided to apologize,
“I’m-“

“You can’t talk to him like that Gookh! He is yourr hyungg! Fricking fo…fourrr yearrs olderr than you!”

a drunk Yoongi spoke in slurred words from the corner, putting up all five fingers of his hand, as he cut him short.

“You should always…always respect your friends…And brotherrs…Do not…keep…“ he trailed off.

After Yoongi mumbled some more and fell silent, everyone turned towards Kookie again.

“What has gotten into you? I have never seen you like this!”

Joon spoke still surprised at the unexpected behaviour from the youngest. Even though he kept silent listening to his hyungs, Kookie’s mind was still boggled with thoughts about Tae.

Is he going to ignore me now? He thought.

“Yelling at your hyung! Throwing things!” Joon continued meanwhile.

Kookie looked up at Tae, who still avoided his gaze.

Jimin however sensed the issue as he exchanged glances with Hoseok. Jimin then looked at Kookie and then at Tae who looked back at him.

That’s it.

“You have never seen ‘me’ like this?”

Kookie said, his eyebrows raised as he stood up. On the outside he was ready for a battle with Joon and the others, while on the inside he battled with his conscience.

Keep quiet. Please don’t say anything.

“Have you ever seen him like this?” he pointed his finger at Jin as he spoke.

Don’t go there Kookie.

“He drinks now! He sings now! He dances now!”

Please.

“Apparently he can even swim now! What did you do in the past three years?” he turned to Jin.

Please stop talking.

“It’s as if you are a completely different person and we know nothing about you!”

Please stop. You are crossing a line.

He turned to the others again.
“His own grandpa died a few days ago and I never saw him mourning. Did you?”

Stop.

“In fact I think I have never seen you this happy!”

STOP IT.

“It’s as if you were waiting for him to die so you could do all the things-“

He was cut short again as he fell onto the floor. He looked up in surprise as another body jumped on top of his own and hit his jaw.

Everything was a blur. In the background he could see many other figures running towards him. Then he felt another punch on his face. As his head tried to catch up with reality, the figures pulled the heavy body off of him.

Someone helped him sit up straight. When he regained his focus and his head started working properly, Kookie looked up and saw Joon and Tae trying to calm down a very furious Jin.

Hoseok and Jimin helped Kookie get up.

But when he saw Tae look at him, disappointment evident on his face, he pushed off his helping hands.

As anger got the best of him, he walked out of the room in a huff, knocking a vase by the door.