A/N: again, I don't really care about the quality of writing here. 😂 uploading onto Wattpad is nothing but some kind of motivation for me. Plus, nobody cares so yeah. I'm serious about this work, but meh, first drafts are meant to be awful and a test run anyway.

I went to work, as usual. I shoved my thoughts about Charlotte into the dark corners of my mind, wanting nothing more than to focus. Focus, I told myself, as I hit my head with my palm, looking in the mirror.

The thoughts ran around, circling like a shark on its prey. The cellphone call before Charlotte jumped over the bridge. The question. Diana's words. My growing sense of failure. The burn marks on my back.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath before placing the last touches of makeup. Looks are everything, my mother once said. It had to be perfect, with the right amount that hit the right notes of perfection. I scowled at the uneven blushes on my face. I itched to redo the makeup all over again, but I was running out of time.

Trying to ignore the gnawing feeling at the small imperfection, I quickly brought out my high heels and walked out of the apartment complex, to the parking lot. Driving out as fast as I could without looking like a mad man, I got out to work, eyeing at the time.

I was a little ashamed of myself for waking up later than usual and a bit more ashamed of myself to know the real reason for that—a part of me doesn't want to face reality.

But I stilled myself, made sure the rest of me protested as much as I could. I'd gotten good at ignoring what's not needed and focus on what's pertinent.

Charlotte may had been my friend, but I had grieved enough during the funeral.

Driving into the office complex parking lot, I took a breath, breathing as I exhaled and felt my heartbeat slow down. I shoved everything residue—the feelings, the haunting thoughts, the gnawing guilt. Don't give attention to things that won't help you, I thought to myself. Feelings were good motivation, but these feelings weren't. And right now they were frankly useless and disturbing me.

Yeah, don't think about things that would disrupt your day. Don't.

I nodded. Then got out of the car. With my posture straight and my blank face, I was ready to face the remaining day.

Or at least I try to convince myself that I was strong enough to do so.