Hello! I know it took me awhile to write it because of college and  my depression is at its worst because a doctor  told me to lose weight because of some problems and gave me a pill that supposedly helps my metabolism along with other women stuff  *hint hint* but instead of helping it feels like i'm bloating and gaining weight...

It stresses me out and makes me think i won't make it and that makes my depression worse.

On a happier note i have to shoot two short movies for two college assignments and i'm EVEN MORE STRESSED!

I hope you like this chapter as much as the others!

Oh! And if you're into Sci-fi also go check out one of my favorite books here on Wattpad called "Before Noon" by squirrelg and leave a good hearted comment!

I also wanted to thank you for the 669 reads, 25 votes and all the comments! This chapter is dedicated to SnartMiniMarshmellow thank you for reading most of my stories and commenting on them and spoting out some mistakes! 

I hope all of you enjoy this chapter!

A Few Days Ago:

Felicity was more than freaking out! She had just texted the Chaplin for a therapy session and the topic of Connor's past was catching up with them and how Laurel had entered their new lives as an ally and a friend. Also, how the amnesia lie she and Connor are planning to throw at Oliver whenever they see him again sounded so stupid.

She was aware of the fact that it was unethical but they were tired of having to consider what Oliver would think of their actions...they weren't married to him! They were married to each other! Oliver wasn't on the picture but somehow he was the source of all their problems and Felicity was angry about it!

She left Team Arrow to start a new life, a fresh start but there he was!

She didn't know what Connor thought but she knew she had to talk to someone who wasn't part of the problem and later maybe bring Connor with her to one session.

First she had to deal with her own problems and then get to speak to Connor.

Oh! Poor Connor! He must feel like a caged animal!

Her mind was swirling with doubts, self loathing and sadness when the Chaplin walked inside and touched her shoulder making her jump surprised and she smiled brokenly.

"It's your turn, Mrs. Rhodes." The Chaplin said with a kind smile as he walked towards his office/session room.

She took a deep breath and said;

"I don't know where to start. Help me unravel this big mess of wool that is my head."

She pleaded and the Chaplin sighed and rested his back to the chair.

"What was your childhood like, Felicity?" He asked her softly and Felicity sighed.

"Okay, normal until I became a teen." She answered looking at the ground as she had her hands folded like so and rested them on her knees.

"What happened when you were a teen, Felicity?" The Chaplin pressed on knowingly that it was a touchy subject. He had read the newspapers back then.

"My best friend Vera got raped by her older brother's best friend, became pregnant then her parents kicked her out and she end up killing herself by hanging by a stolen curtain. I found her in our school's bathrooms where she was staying in secret for months." Felicity started speaking with an emotion stable tone but moments after she mumbled her dead best friend's name she cracked and tears started crying, small tears fell down her cheeks.

The Chaplin looked at her with pity and she quickly wipe them away but he didn't spoke he let her continue.

"We took revenge...we... for her death by joining a gang and they helped us find out a way to kill him. Um....we found him in an alley late at night...the leader Alberto provided us with the knives....We used them to stab him in turns....i was the last in the turn so I used my turn to slice his throat putting an end to his life and to my best friend's nightmare." Felicity said between sobs and shaky breaths.

"What happened next, Felicity?" The Chaplin encouraged her to continue as he offered her tissues. She didn't spoke for a while she just cried.

"Um...then Alberto told us that he owned us then I told Alberto that he should let them leave and I'll do whatever he needs because it was my idea for the revenge. He agreed and made the evidence disappear, it was his talent. So, I became part of his gang, I regret it but I don't regret the people I met through it. Not everyone in the gang were bad people, there was this twisted sense of family. Like you had a lot of aunts and uncles and their kids were your cousins." Felicity said calmer now and with a small smile remembering the family, the Sanatos, who told her that if she continued that way she will reach her adulthood and feel this immense shame that she couldn't bare and end up having depression and killing herself.

She heard them and went to Olivia Benson.

Chaplin looked at her, studying her.

"There was this family, the Sanatos, who were part of the gang but they were a normal family with three kids and they always would stitch me up, especially Mrs. Sanatos Eliza, whenever I would get into a fight with the people I was send to kill and she would tell me how her brother was me before I came in. He had recently killed himself because he couldn't see a way out of what I was doing. At some point I finally started listening. And then acting." Felicity said to the Chaplin with a small nostalgic smile.

"What happened to them?" The Chaplin asked and Felicity sighed.

"Well, Alberto, let them leave the gang because they were moving away because Mr. Sanatos Russell got a promotion and from New York they moved to Seattle. They were at my wedding actually and they were so proud of me!" Felicity said smiling and looked at the Chaplin who nodded and wrote it down.

"So, do you want to talk about what happened when Alberto find out?" The Chaplin asked slightly hesitant.

"No." Felicity said abruptly and raised her voice a little. Her eyes had a weird emotion that the Chaplin knew it to be panic, fear, shame and loathing even a little anger too.

"Why not?" The Chaplin asked her and she sighed.

"Because I don't...because I deserved it...I should have been more careful with my movements when I became a CI." Felicity said and her tone seemed soaked with self loathing and sadness.

She was looking in her hands while they were folded like so and while looking in her hands she looked at the floor too.

"You didn't deserve it!" The Chaplin said serious. She just looked at the ground.

"I think it was what I deserved at the time though..." She said to the Chaplin who sighed.

"What all this made you feel?" The Chaplin asked her and she slowly raised her head and looked at him.

"I felt anger, sadness and hopelessness. Now, I just feel guilty for all that I have done to people that are dead, that I killed and guilt that now that I have changed someone might find it as a weakness and try to kill what I now hold dear." Felicity said with a sadness and she didn't just stopped looking at the doctor but looked at the carpet in shame for admitting such thing.

"Maybe you should find those people who you killed their family members and apologize that way you might feel redeemed." The Chaplin said and Felicity looked at him in fear, her eyes wide and her mouth dry.

"No! I can't! I won't!" She exclaimed in fear and stood up and try to walk out of the room but stopped mid-ways as she thought about it and hesitantly turned to the Chaplin and asked;

"Will it work?"

"I don't know, maybe...maybe not. You only have to try and see the results." The Chaplin said to the woman before her and she sighed.

"I don't remember them." She admitted sadly to the Chaplin who looked at me disbelievingly.

"What?" Felicity asked him after they stared at each other for awhile.

"I don't believe you!" The Chaplin said angrily and she sighed.

"Fuck my life!" Felicity yelled and she sighed while the Chaplin laughed and looked at her in a manner that said;

Language, young lady!

She sighed and sat down and looked at him who gave her a notepad and a pen.

She wrote names after names after names.

Two hours later she gave him the names and he read them silently and then looked at her with sadness.

"You killed 200 people in two years? How is that possible? Did you went to school and then killed a bunch of people returned home do homework?" The Chaplin asked caught off guard.

"Something like that...they were days where I would say to my parents that I was sleeping over a friend and I would go on a killing spree...well more like bounty...kill them and write off a name." Felicity said ashamed as she looked at the notepad the Chaplin had left on the table before them.

"Do they have families? Or..." The Chaplin trailed hesitantly and Felicity looked at him offended as tears picked up in her eyes.

"Or did I killed them all?"

"Of course I didn't!" Felicity exclaimed offended as she looked down at the Chaplin who was still in his chair and Felicity had jumped up at the sound of that accusation.

"Now, calm down. Okay so what I want you to look at their names and write them an apology letter and once you track them down you send it to them without a return address because I'm sure they will want to return it...I would have." The Chaplin said to Felicity who nodded in understanding as she slowly sat back down.

The Same Time:

Connor woke up and found a note at his bedside that said where his wife had gone, he was okay with it.

He prepared breakfast for his son and they watched cartoons as they ate. Grayson, he found Laurel's book and started studying it.

"Dad, can I read this book?" Grayson asked excited and shook the book before his dad's face.

Connor jumped back and let a laugh at his son's tactics and took it from him.

"When you are old enough, then yes." Connor advised his son who pouted and then started whine.

"Hey! You have to wait until you can read by yourself because then it's actual more magical to read books than having someone read it to you, plus your mommy is still reading this book." Connor told his son as he held him from throwing a tantrum and Grayson looked at him confused as he tried not to cry.

"How magical?" Grayson mumbled as he sniffed his nose and started wiping his eyes from tears.

"Well, you didn't hear it from me, but when you read inside your head it's like a movie...like the cartoons you watch on TV and it's so amazing that you don't want to stop reading! Every word is a portal to another place, a magical place where dragons and witches exist!" Connor spoke to his son as he picked him up and held him in his arms and Grayson listened intensely at his father as if his dad was telling him the secret to a perfect life.

But because he was son of Felicity he always seemed to find a rational flaw in his dad's explanation.

"What if the book isn't about dragons and witches? What then, dad?" Grayson asked excited as he smiled at his dad.

Connor didn't expect his son to ask him something like that so he stay silent for awhile before he said;

"Then it's like you are sitting by the side of the hero of the book and you experience the same things as him! You can live many lives through books, son, and it teaches you experiences that maybe you won't get to live because of the life you were destined to live isn't one with the same hardships." Connor explained to his son who listened and nodded.

"Have you ever done that?" Grayson asked his dad and witnessed his face darkening as if some bad memories occurred.

"Yes, I was around twenty years old when...an earthquake occurred...happened where I was working as a new doctor and a friend of mine got injured...I had read in books at Medicine school what I should when that happens and I saved him. Also, I learnt from books how to take care of you when you were a small baby!" Connor said to his son who listened serious as he dad told him about the earthquake and his friend but then giggled when his dad told him about how he learnt to take care of him.

Then Grayson hugged him and said;

"I'm sorry about your friend, is he alright? Can I meet him? Is it a him or a her?" Grayson asked his dad who sighed.

"Actually lives in Saudi Arabia so you can't meet him because he's far away." Connor explained simply to his son who nodded and then just stayed in his dad's embrace.

"So, can we go to the park?" Grayson asked excited and Connor nodded as he picked him up and went to grab their jackets.

Starling City:

Thea Queen was sitting in the kitchen of the Verdant and was looking at the space, she had just found out that her dad was none other than Malcolm Merlyn, she overheard Oliver and Sara talk about Malcolm and Sara asked Oliver if he had told Thea about who was her biological dad.

"No, I haven't but it would crash her if she learns of it." Oliver had said and Thea covered her mouth in shock and instead of walking out of the kitchen to the actual bar where Sara and Oliver were talking as they were setting the bar in order to be ready for opening she rushed back inside and stayed there crawled into a ball.

She wasn't crying or being angry, she felt absolutely nothing! Then her thoughts drifted to Tommy Merlyn! SHE HAD A CRUSH ON HER HALF BROTHER! EWWWW!

Keep in mind everyone thought that Tommy Merlyn was biological son of Malcolm and Rebecca and they waited for Tommy to reach age of walking so he can attend their wedding, which was not the case as we know.

Now, she remembered that Tommy was long dead and she couldn't tell him....she felt truly alone, Tommy was the only one that hadn't lie to her.

She then walked out from the back door she wanted to go somewhere to think, then she froze at the thought of Laurel, she trusted Laurel and she seemed to have a good head on her shoulder so she decided to go at her house. She wanted someone to help her understand what was going on in her head.

So she appeared in her apartment and knocked the door.

"Hey!" Laurel said surprised and Thea smiled at her but raised her eyebrows because Laurel was wearing glasses and she had a pen stuck in the upper part of her ear.

"Malcolm Merlyn is my biological father which would mean that Tommy would have been my half brother....what should I do with this, Laurel?" Thea said bluntly and then she broke down crying.

Laurel sighed and hugged her as she made her come inside her apartment.

As the young girl composed herself Laurel texted a quick text to Connor explaining the situation to him and asking if she could contact him and explain to poor Thea what was really going on.

Connor though was skeptical.

What would Thea want after the revelation?

Could he give her that?

"Thea...I have something to tell you that you probably not going to like." Laurel said hesitantly to Thea and the girl looked up to her with her puffy eyes and nodded.

Suddenly the sound of Skype call stopped Laurel from telling Thea that Tommy was alive and well.

Laurel answered the call and the two women came face to face with the adorable Grayson Thomas Rhodes!

"Auntie Laulel? HI!!!" The kid exclaimed as he laughed and started moving around the camera.

"Um..Laurel? What is going on?" Thea asked confused but Laurel was too busy laughing at Grayson's Vlogging attempt.

"Shh! Daddy wants to speak to ya!" Grayson said as he brought the camera very close to his face that his spitted on it while he spoke.

"Grayson, give the camera back to me!" Connor yelled after his son who giggled and run faster bring along with him the camera until Connor surprised Grayson and picked him up as he giggled and laughed.

Thea was gaping at the sound of Tommy's voice and was staring between the laptop and Laurel who was laughing at Grayson behavior.

"Sorry about that we were about to go to the park to burn off some energy but you texted. So...hello Thea! As you can see not dead." Connor said awkwardly in the camera once he got a hold of it.

"How? You have a son? When? What?" Thea stuttered confused and shocked yet relieved.

And like that Connor told Thea the truth about who he really was but made it clear that he was there for the young woman and she could come by Chicago any time she needed someone to talk to her.

Connor pitied the poor girl, she didn't ask to be dragged into a tornado of lies!

He smiled at the shocked Thea who drank a glass of water which would be have been glass number 34 since Connor started to tell her his story.

"So, we are not half siblings although I do see you as my little sister and that won't change that. If you want to get away for awhile and meet my family, you can come for a few days." Connor said to Thea in a comforting voice as he looked at Thea.

"Daddy, can we now go to the park?" Grayson whined for the nth time ever since Connor started explaining to Thea.

"In a short while, Gray!" Connor tried to calm his energized son.

"Alright." Grayson said disappointed.

"I will need time to digest everything you told me. Does Oliver know?" Thea asked Connor and he nodded.

"Okay, I will make sure not to tell anyone really that Tommy is alive." Thea said to Connor and smiled at Grayson and he smiled grateful. Laurel then turned to Thea once the Skype call ended and said with a smile;

"Take out and ice cream?"

Thea nodded as she rubbed her forehead as a headache was starting to form.

"So, you are okay with this?" Thea asked Laurel as they ate the take out which was to onion rings and chicken tortilla. 

"Honestly? Even if I wasn't I would have to get accustomed to it if I wanted Felicity and Connor...I mean Tommy and the adorable Grayson in my life. Furthermore, it's not my life to have a say in it and to be even more honest Oliver's vine of secrets most times drags his friends down. I get that he is hurt and has PTSD but he can't keep doing this to his friends and most importantly to himself, he needs to speak with a psychologist and start dealing with his very serious and extended trauma." Laurel spoke as she looked at the candle on the table and not to Thea because what she was saying could easily be interrupted as if she was bashing Thea's brother's mental state.

But she didn't think that Thea might not know about Oliver number 1 secret, his Arrow persona.

"I know but what lies?" Thea asked confused and suspicious which made Laurel literally jump out of the grove of a semi-uncovering his most guarded secret and betraying Oliver's trust.

"Um...lies like that nothing happened to the island yet he has all these scars." Laurel quickly cover it up and took a sip out of her soda with lemon as a way to calm her panicked nerves.

Thea though nodded slightly unconvinced but she knew that Oliver lied about these scars too.

"So, should I visit Tommy in Chicago? And when do you think it would a good time?" Thea asked after a small silent break as the girls used it to calm their minds of the swirling storm that was going on in their heads each for different reasons.

"Next week I could drive you there because I have an errand there." Laurel offered to the younger woman.

"Oh! What errand?" Thea asked confused, what a DA could do in Chicago during a week day?

Laurel had her first book read in Chicago which was signaling the beginning of her first book tour!

"Promise not to say to anyone?" Laurel asked with a small smile and Thea nodded as Laurel stood up and went to her room and a few minutes later she walked towards Thea with a huge box with books with blue/green covers.

"What's all these?" Thea asked confused and Laurel smiled.

"Go on, touch them, they won't bite." Laurel said smiling and encouraging Thea and she did.

"You wrote a book?" Thea suddenly exclaimed shocked and Laurel who was smiling proudly nodded excited.

"And next week is the beginning of my book tour that is why you'll have to return with the train back here but I can take you to Chicago." Laurel said smiling to the younger woman who looked shocked between Laurel and the book in hand.

Chicago:

Felicity walked out of the Chaplin's office emotionally drained and started texting her husband that she needed to blow off some steam so she was going to the Gym and if they needed to bring anything for dinner.

Connor texted that he would love to eat pizza and to buy extra diapers and baby wipes.

https://youtu.be/pMWdml5RJFI

Felicity sigh and texted back an okay and walked to her car. Soon she was in the familiar gym and she was boxing while listening to music with her headphones to BANKS' Trainwreck.

She punched and punched and punched again.

Suddenly she felt an warm hand on her shoulder and she acted on instinct and Judo flipped the person only to see that it was Jay Halstead who was laughing while talking but Felicity couldn't hear him with her headphones on.

"What? What did you say?" Felicity asked as she took off her headphones and gave a helping hand to Jay.

"I said what got you so worked up." Jay said with a friendly smile.

"The past I can't press delete." She said with displeasure and Jay understood the feeling instantly.

"The only thing you can do is to make peace with it." Jay said wisely Felicity sighed tired.

"Easier said than done. So, what brought you here at this hour?" Felicity asked as she drank water from a plastic bottle and Jay got ready to start boxing himself.

"Blow off some steam." Jay said cryptically but Felicity didn't care to press on because she knew everyone needed to have secrets even from their best friends.

"Want to spar?" Felicity said seconds before Jay started punching the punching bag.

Jay nodded and with a head gesture they got in the middle of sparring mats and started sparring.

At some point people had gathered and watched the ex-soldier turn detective and ex-hit woman turned doctor sparing and many of them were taping in their phones.

Rhodes Household:

Connor and Grayson were looking at the living room and gulped in fear of Felicity's outburst.

"Daddy, bad idea to play paintball." Grayson said with a disappointing tone as they looked the living room that was a mess with broken furniture and paint all over the walls and floor.

"I know buddy. Let's start cleaning what we can." Connor said as he snapped a picture of the mess and texted it to his dad with the caption;

"I need a painter, know anyone good?"

After that the two started cleaning and Grayson started signing the "Let it go" from Frozen as he put the fake flowers in a pile and then handed a plastic trash bag to his dad who was carefully gathering the glasses.

Grayson knew that he wasn't allowed to go near glasses especially broken ones so he kept away from there allowing his dad to clean that mess besides there were plenty of things to be cleaned up, so he had things to do.

"Dad what about the wall." Grayson asked worriedly as he studied the cream yellow wall that now was stained with dark blue and red paint stains.

"We'll fix it, a painter will actually." Connor yelled from somewhere in the living room that Grayson knew better than go since there were broken glasses everywhere.

He kept on taking pillows, couch parts and putting them aside so his dad can put them to their right place. Then took the pictures and smiled at his parent's wedding picture and kissed it before putting on the table and checking for broken glasses on the floor.

Then the sound of keys on the door made him gasp in horror as he watched his mum walking inside with pizza and groceries.

"MUMMY!" He yelled in shock and fear and as a way to warn his dad who cursed under his breath.

"Hey, kiddo, what the...what happened to the house!?" Felicity started saying full of love but then she met the mess and exploded in anger and shock.

"Did someone break in? Are you okay? Is there any money missing?" Felicity asked in worry as she dropped the stuff she was holding including the pizza on the table at her right and picked her son in a protective manner as she tried to find her husband.

"No, we played paintball, daddy's idea...sorry mummy!" Grayson said with his puppy dog eyes and Felicity's heart calm down for a beat but then she laughed catching the men in her life off guard.

"Why you're laughing?" Connor asked confused and afraid.

"I just realized that for the first time my home is trashed for a fun reason and not a bad one and I'm so thankful for that!" Felicity said between laughing and her son was bounced in her arms from the laughter.

Grayson and Connor exchanged confused looks but said nothing as they smiled.

At Cornelius Household:

Cornelius was at his study working on some work papers when he got a message from his older son with a photo of his trashed living room and the quote;

"I need a painter, know anyone good?"

The older man laughed with light hearted manner after reading the quote and quickly texted the phone of his maternal cousin who was a painter and was looking for a job for a month now.

Starling City:

Foundry:

Oliver was sparing with Sara when Diggs walked in while watching something on his phone and laughing.

"Guys check this out!" Diggs said to Oliver as he handed his phone to the vigilantes.

The video on the phone showed Felicity Smoak and Jay Halstead sparring and it had gone viral!

"WHAT THE HELL?" Sara and Oliver exclaimed in shock at the footage before them.

Diggs smiled proudly. Finally they were getting to know the true Felicity.

He needed time to stomach what Felicity had uncovered about her past but after a lengthily conversation with his wife things have taken a perspective, a good one actually and he was okay with it as long as Felicity had a good, clean life from now on.

He knew everyone had sins that would want not to have but life is cruel.

So? What do you think? Did you like it? Tell me in your comments!