𝓐𝓮𝓰𝓸𝓷 𝓣𝓪𝓻𝓰𝓪𝓻𝔂𝓮𝓷
The wine washes down my throat but the effects don't hit fast enough, I need more.

Throwing the goblet against the wall the contents splatter staining the tapestry and dripping down to the rug below.

Tessa was gone and she was never coming back. I'd never see her smile, hear her laugh, or feel her body ever again.

She was the one good thing that tethered me to my humanity.

What was left of this black heart of guilt and loneliness desired a quick death so I could join her soul wherever it lingered.

None of my life had been my choice.

My wife, and my children, all purely for the sake of duty and honor, give me a fucking break I couldn't care less about any of that. Nothing I did was enough, not marrying Helaena, and surely not having two children with her.

I'd barricaded myself in my chambers and had all of Tessa's things brought to me. I spent my nights covered with our blankets that still smelled of her, pressing the fabrics of the dresses I'd bought her against my skin.

It's only been a week and already I wanted to burn down the world that remained without her. How was I expected to keep living as if nothing was wrong? As if she was just my whore?

What made my brother's bastard wife any different than Tessa? The only thing that separated them was luck, pure luck that Elaena had been born of my whore half-sister and not some commoner.

I'd driven Tessa to madness, going along with my mother's schemes instead of standing up for my only love, my only happiness and it had been taken from me.

None of this was supposed to happen, my grandfather assured me this would get rid of Elaena for good but all it had done was drive them closer together leaving me with the wounds to bear.

Rumors have been spreading for days that the Princess was expecting but nothing has been confirmed and if it had, I'd hardly know. I couldn't stand the sight of my dear little brother.

Every day he'd come to see me but I wasn't having any of it. Aemond had ruined everything, him and his spoiled whore wife.

Tipping the pitcher back I empty what's left gulping the wine like it's the air I need to breathe. Dropping it to the floor I go for the door, swinging it open to reveal the son of a bitch himself.

Aemond leaned against the wall opposite of me with his arms crossed. Sliding his foot down the stone he pushes himself off to approach me slowly like I'm some wounded animal and in a way, I suppose I was.

"What do you want?" I hiss at my younger brother.

Cringing at my tone, Aemond's blank expression falters, "I have to speak with you about something."

"Well? Spit it out before I change my mind."

Nodding his head he motions towards my room in question. I stand aside fighting the urge to strangle him as he passes.

I slam the door behind him, following him to the heart of the chambers where he stared wordlessly at the mounds of emptied goblets and pitchers alongside all of Tessa's things.

Sticking his hands in his pockets he takes a deep breath, taking in the pathetic sight.

"You wanted to speak. Speak."

Staring me down with his sapphire eye I still see my scared little brother standing before me, despite his efforts to become so untouchable.

"We're going home to Dragonstone."

"Home now is it? How far the mighty fall." I smirk at him, pulling out a chair to plop myself in.

Ignoring my comment he hangs his head.

"We were going to take Jaehaeryn back to his mother before we left but..."

"But you killed her."

Cracking his knuckles he takes a deep breath as if he has to count to himself before responding but I do no such thing.

"The second son, free of duty and honor, marrying the only bitch you've managed to cum inside of-"

"If you're goading me to kill you as well as her, I'm afraid it's not going to work, brother, though the thought has crossed my mind."

Reaching him in a couple of strides I take a fistful of his cloak though he stood at least a couple inches taller than I, "Then do me the mercy, brother if that's what you call yourself." I bring my face so close to his, I spit with my vicious words.

"You know I had no choice,"

"Do I? Such a gifted swordsman but you couldn't have disarmed her instead? You had to put your sword through her fucking chest," I trail off, clutching my own chest where my heart was.

Aemond's nostrils flare but he doesn't say a word, only fanning the flames.

Using all my strength I slam into his chest with my palms only pushing him back a couple of steps but I do it again and again until he grabs my wrists, his grip stopping all circulation.

"I can't fathom what it would be like if I lost Elaena and I'm sorry, Aegon... I'm sorry it happened this way." His apology is sincere, but it doesn't change anything, not a goddamned thing.

"Your pathetic apologies won't bring her back, nothing will," I mutter, the anger fizzling out and the heart-wrenching sadness seeping into its place.

Turning to walk out I am about to reach the door when he calls out to me one last time.

"She's not all gone, Aegon."

"And what in the seven hells is that supposed to mean?" I ask, spinning around to look at him.

"Your son," He grunts, annoyed I've forgotten so easily.

Jaehaeryn.

The constant reminder of my failings, of what I'd lost, the entire reason she'd left bed that night, to take back our child that I'd been too pathetic to protect... and if I'd failed his mother I would surely fail him.

"And?" I arch an eyebrow, egging him on.

Aemond steps forward when I don't react how he'd like me to. He cared for the boy, it's why he put him up in his own chambers, and fed and clothed him. He'd treated him more as a son than I ever had. 

 "And... you don't think she'd want you to raise that child she sacrificed her life to protect?"

"NO! You don't get to tell me what she would've wanted!"

"Because it's the truth?"

"Because YOU killed her! It was YOU!"

I pick up the empty pitcher reeling back to throw it at Aemond's head but he dodges it with ease. Grabbing anything else I can find I throw a plate, then a book, aiming but missing every time making an even bigger mess of my chambers.

With my lack of sleep, I quickly run out of steam, leaning on the chair as everything within me breaks down and there's no strength left.

Running his hands through his long blonde hair out of frustration he looks back at me, "Your son deserves a father. You're all he has in this world."

"No. He's better off without me, just as Tessa was. All of this was a mistake, all of it."

"Aegon-"

"Just go. Go home and take him with you if that's what you're after."

Finally, my little brother doesn't argue he just stares at me bewildered. 

Straightening his posture he scoffs to himself before brushing shoulders as he walks by me and out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Dragging my heavy feet to my bed I collapse into the sheets, clutching the bedding to my nose until all of my senses are consumed by her, by Tessa.

"I will make them pay, I swear it. I'll take from him what he's taken from me and more, I promise, my Tessa." 

***

Hey babes! If you made it this far with me, thank you so much! Your support means the world and I read every single comment, every notification and I'm just so thankful to have friends like these. 

On another note!

-How do we feel about Aegon's POV? I don't plan on making it a normal thing, only when necessary.