𝓐𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓭 𝓣𝓪𝓻𝓰𝓪𝓻𝔂𝓮𝓷

She's gone.

My heart, my soul, my life had looked at me with horror in her eyes and ran like I was a monster.

Hell I was but I was never meant to be her monster.

Elaena was alone somewhere in the city, hungry, and broken all because of me and my stupidity.

I searched the city top to bottom, called out her name in the crowds of faceless commoners until my voice was horse but I couldn't find her anywhere.

It was clear Elaena didn't want to be found and I couldn't blame her, I'd betrayed her and our son, our family. How could she trust me now? Our love would never be the same and it was all my fault.

Her tearing violet eyes were burned into my mind for all of eternity, her trembling lips only a figment of my nightmares now turned reality right before me.

She was alone in the city of death and depravity, taking that over being anywhere near me, her sick bastard of a husband.

I'd attempted to have my mother see sense this morning at breakfast but it'd been no use. They were all doing their damndest to tear us apart and they'd succeeded.

Not bothering to knock I throw open the doors of Aegon's chambers where Ser Criston and my mother sit by my older brothers bedside whose eyebrow I'd so graciously busted open for his hand in all of this.

Holding a washcloth to his forehead the maester attending him stills at my entrance.

"Out." I command.

Gathering his things my mother stands to stop him.

"Your brother needed stitches because of your foolishness, what were you thinking-"

"All things considered I should have killed him! My wife is lost and alone with the rats of Kings Landing because of you both!" I roar, the maester ducking away from me as he goes for the door.

"You'll respect your mother, the Queen!" Ser Criston steps forward and I along with him ready to release all of this pent up aggression.

"Stop! The both of you!" My mother calls out but Aegon interjects from the bed, "You're a fool for bringing her with you, little brother. It's your own lies that's pushed her away." He smirks.

Taking long strides across the room to him I grip the hair upon his head causing him to flinch from the grip.

"You know even better than I that this bastard boy is not mine." I seethed, tightening my hold on his hair.

When I'd held the sword to Tessa's neck earlier Aegon flinched not once but twice when I threatened to end her there in the brothel and upon visiting the poor boy in the cells earlier he was a spitting image of Aegon when we were children, there was no denying it.

"He's yours. Say it." I growl, dropping his head harshly back onto the pillow.

The whore and her bastard boy meant nothing to me, I'd kill them both if it was that easy but this boy was my nephew. I was a ambitious man, eager to hold many titles but Kin Slayer wasn't one of them.

"She's your whore and you're too pathetic to claim her and your own son, your flesh and blood!" I continue egging him into a confession but he keeps his mouth shut despite the slight tremble in his bottom lip.

Did he truly love this woman?

"How could a man have so many children but be a father to none?" I growl deathly low, his resolve wavering.

I did things as I saw fit, married and then started a family with the woman I loved but Aegon never had a choice, he was betrothed to our sister as soon as they were of age.

All of this because of the expectations of the throne.

"That's enough! You've done plenty damage to your brothers today!" My grandsire closes the door quietly behind him, always cautious of listening ears.

Doing my best to ignore him, I suppress my anger, remembering the most important part to all of this, the source of my rage in the first place.

Elaena.

She's wasn't only in danger she was heartbroken and I needed to find her for both of our sakes.

Elaena thought this child was mine but it was impossible.

When Aegon and I were just boys he'd taken me to see Tessa on my thirteenth name day. At first I thought this might be normal, losing yourself in a woman, or "getting it wet" so my older brother said, but I knew I was incapable when it was Elaena's bright eyes haunting me not only while I lived and breathed but when I slept too.

There were times I struggled as I'd told her, visiting the brothel for... release but I'd never shared a bed with a woman again because of the very fear that it would haunt me one day, just as it does now.

The truth was Elaena had consumed my every thought from the very moment she parted her heavenly lips and sang for me.

Balling up my fists I bring my hands together and crack my knuckles.

"I want men under my command from the city watch. Any and all available on the streets looking for her. Now." It's not a question it's a demand to Ser Criston Cole who stares at me bewildered.

"This hardly calls for such forces-" Otto raises his voice but I cut him off,

"Elaena is my wife and daughter to the heir of Iron throne. If something happens to her because of these ridiculous schemes, Viserys and Rhaenyra will have the heads of everyone involved. Is that what you want?"

If there was any hope for help I needed to make it within their interests as well. As much as they wanted her out of the picture they couldn't let her die.

My mother looks between all of the men pulling her in every which direction but her gaze lands on Otto, her right hand.

"I don't have time for this," I mumble going for the door but she grabs my arm.

"Alright. You have them." She agrees but not without a scoff from my grandfather behind her.

Looking to Ser Criston I motion my head to the door, "We're losing light, we have to go now."

Following me out he keeps his mouth shut and I quite like the change of pace.

"Bring me your best men. Anyone not on direct duty to the crown will be sent word to patrol the city,"

"Yes, my prince. We'll have eyes across the city within the hour." He agrees halfheartedly, taking a turn down a hallway away from me.

I'm coming for you, Elaena. I'm going to fix this ruin I've brought upon us.

***

The rain couldn't have come at a worse time. It was impossible to trek through the city on foot until long after the sun had set but that didn't stop me from trying.

Approaching the group of knights their chattering ends just as I get within hearing range and I can assume that's for the better, my frustration only festering.

"My Prince. We've received word a Velaryon fleet arrived earlier at the port before the storm, that is Princess Elaena's house is it not?" Ser Erryk turns to me, offering a solid piece of information.

"Do we know who Captained this voyage?" I ask, motioning them to follow me.

"It's said to be Ser Addam Velaryon, my prince-" The corner of my lips twitch at the mention of his name.

Of course.

"Find him."

"We have. There's a small cluster of apartments the crews and traders occupy when the shipments come ashore."

Patting him on the shoulder I let him lead the way, grateful for even the slightest of hope, "Good man, Ser Erryk."

Knocking on every door the men are questioned of Ser Addam's whereabouts until we're led to a hole in the wall apartment, easily missed if you weren't paying careful attention.

Wrapping my fist against the door there's a moment of shuffling behind it and I imagine Elaena on the other side, hiding away from me and my chest tightens with nerves and guilt.

What if she never wanted to see me again?

Finally answering the door Ser Addams familiar face reminds me of yet another instance I was chasing Elaena though that heartbreak hadn't been quite the same.

"My prince," he greets me, seeming not at all shocked of my arrival, all but confirming my suspicions.

"She's here. Isn't she?" I ask hopefully, keeping my voice low.

Ser Addam of all people would understand just how high these stakes were, he was one of the only ones aware of Elaena's fragile state.

Biting at his lip, his eyes alike to mine darts to the men behind me, debating on what to tell me.

Counting the seconds by in my mind as he watched us, I force the door open, taking a look for myself.

Hoping to find Elaena cuddled up by the fireplace all that's revealed is an empty shack one barely large enough for a single person., leaving an unsettling feeling in my gut.

Taking another step in I look around for any sign of her. If she was staying anywhere tonight it would be here but it was still so early in the morning... where was she now?

Eyeing the wet ball of clothes in the corner, the dark red color was exact to what I'd last seen her in and I react without a second thought.

Swinging the door shut behind me I take a fistful of Addam's shirt.

"What the fuck have you done with her? She was here-"

"I fed and clothed her that's what I did! When we fell asleep she was right here, I didn't even hear her leave!" He snaps back but I cling onto the very words that tear me apart.

We fell asleep?

"And what's she wearing now? Your clothes? If you laid a single finger on her-"

"Never. I only sought to protect her. She was alone, she needed someone she could trust." He swears holding up his hands in defense.

"It's her husband she needs." I growl tossing him back.

Straightening his shoulders he adjusts his tunic, his dark eyebrows narrowing in at me.

"Is it? You seem to have done a fair bit of damage to our war hero. I hardly recognized her when I found her."

What he says this time sends me back a step, faltering as each of his words hit me one by one.

Elaena was strong, so very strong but I'd broken her and Ser Addam was right. I didn't want to imagine the sight he'd found after she'd run off earlier.

I had to make this right, I had to tell her everything.

"Than I'll stay. I'll wait for her to come back, we can talk-"

"No. With all due respect, my prince, these wounds you both bare are fresh. I doubt she'll talk to you now." He breathes, going to throw another log on the fire, bringing it back to life.

Gods know what Elaena told him or if they'd even spoken at all. I was running out of options and at this point I would take any help he offered.

Leaning against the wall I hang my head, surrendering. "Than what is it you suggest I do?"

Thinking it over he crouches down, holding his hands to the fire.

"I can keep her safe, give her a few days to come around and you can come back... that is if you both don't crack by then." Glancing over his shoulder at me I can see the smirk illuminated by the fire and I fight the urge to push his face in the embers.

Interrupting my train of thought Ser Erryk knocks on the door before letting himself in.

"My apologies, my prince but someone's been seen scaling the eastern wall of the castle. They've entered through a third story chamber window."

"It's her. Those were Elaena's chambers." I breathe, going for the door but I stop myself, looking back at Addam who watched.

If Elaena had gone home to see me she would've walked through the front gates, not scaled the side of the castle, no, she was looking for something or someone and she wanted to remain undetected.

"Leave her." It pains me to say it I wanted to end this and fix things now but perhaps I didn't deserve that.

I'd known I never deserved her to begin with but as I promised, I would keep working to.

Ser Erryk nods, not questioning me before turning to give his orders to the other men.

"I'll have clothes and provisions sent. I would appreciate you keeping the source of these things a secret-"

"Hmph, more secrets?" He scoffs, rolling his eyes at me.

"If you knew my beautiful wife as I do, Ser Addam you'd know she wouldn't accept any kind of help right now knowing it came from me. I just want you to keep yourselves fed and clothed."

Taking a step closer to him I reach out a hand for him to take but he hesitates.

"I'm leaving the most precious part of my soul in your hands, Ser Addam." I confess, my voice low and sincere.

His gaze softens, understanding washing over his face as he takes my hand in his with a tight grip to give it a shake.

"Take good care of her." I warn.

But not too good, I about growl.

"You have no reason to mistrust me, my prince. You and Elaena both saved our lives that day in the Stepstones. I'll protect her, I swear it."

Watching him for a moment longer I almost trust him and right now, I had no choice.

Nodding my head in thanks, I go for for the door.

If I left now it was possible I'd still get a glimpse of her and right now that was all I had, glimpses.

Leaving a few city watchman to patrol the area I stalk off into the night practically running through the Red Keep for any chance to see her, hear her voice even if she hadn't already been caught by another one of the guards.

Using the same side staircase I'd used earlier I go to unlock the door when her soft voice drifts between its cracks finding me just on the other side.

Sinking to my knees I press my ear against its aging wood, desperate to hear more. I was a broken man, reaching for any reminder of her light.

"Did they take you from your mother?" She asks the small boy tenderly, not at all spiteful like she could be.

If the boy responds I don't hear him. I'd barely thought about the boy's well being. When I saw him earlier it was only to lay eyes on him, verifying what I knew to be true, that he was the spitting image of my brother himself.

"What about your father?"

My smart girl.

I don't blame her for doing some digging of her own, but I'd tell her everything she wanted to know and more if she turned around and opened the door.

Waiting for her to say more I'm surprised she can't hear my own heart beating through the door, calling out to her, begging for another chance to love her broken pieces back together again.

The bastard hadn't said a word to me earlier, properly terrified to keep quiet by my mother? My grandfather? Or even Aegon? Who knew who pulled these strings, but I would cut them soon.

"I'll come back. I promise you, little dragon."

My chest is a hollowed out shell, imagining this would be exactly how she spoke to our children... if there was any hope for more after the damage I've done.

Fuck.

Placing my hand over my chest I grasp at my heart, the emotional pain seeping into reality robbing me of my ability to breathe.

It took all my strength not to go to her and take her in my arms but if she needed time, that was what I'd give her no matter how painful it was. It hadn't compared to what she endured, doubting everything and living in hiding from her very own husband.

And what a pathetic husband I've been.

Reaching out to the door I rest my forehead against the wood, closing my tired eye craving her touch, her voice, her anything.

For a few moments she says nothing until I hear her footsteps fade away down the tunnel and I know she's gone taking the most precious part of my soul with her.

***