Chapter Twenty-Six: I Despise You.

I STARED AT Larine's screen. Then my eyces went to Iman's screen. Between both of their devices, my face of disgust stayed the same. I wished I would never have to see this again in my entire life.

We sat at the kitchen table of Iman's house on Saturday morning. I was finishing a biochemistry assignment but those two were in the middle of coding for a class they shared. Every time they spoke sounded like a completely different language.

What I was reading looked like a completely different language as well.

"What the hell?" I mumbled, pushing Iman's laptop back towards him. "That looks like hell." They were supposed to make a video game as one of their final projects for one of their classes. The project was due on Monday, and I learned both of my friends procrastinated to the max as they started today. The only reason they even started today instead of tomorrow was because I stressed for them to do so.

"Are you going to use Python?" Immanuel asked Larine and I shook my head. What the fuck does he mean Python?

Larine laughed at my dramatics. "Yeah, I am. Jaime, just focus on your DNA and all of that."

"Or focus on whoever you're texting," Immanuel said, trying to glance at my phone but I kept it out of his reach. "Probably Aven."

It was not Aven. It was Clayton.

I had sent him a message last night asking for us to talk when he came back. I wasn't going to deal without speaking to him anymore and I needed to get our friendship back to the way it was. He had responded just this morning, making sense considering he was the one who typically woke up later in the day like me. He was going to return on Monday, and we could talk then.

Relief went through my body. It wasn't like I was expecting him to decline or anything but his fast response (fast for him considering he could take days to reply), made me feel more at ease. 

"Where is Aven?" Larine asked. "He has plans that don't involve you two?"

"He and Dev went to the mechanic for their car before we have to head out to our game," Iman said, sliding a glance over to me. They had an exhibition game later this afternoon. A game after they had played a season game yesterday. Weird. "Did you know that?"

I did know that.

But now I was seriously wanting to know what the hell Python was. I changed message threads.

Me: do you know what python is?

The response came fast but I didn't check as I replied to Immanuel, "No."

"Liar!" Immanuel pointed at me. "You're a motherfucking liar, Jaiyesimi Okusanya. Why are you lying to me? You probably wish you were with them instead of us, huh? Or you're going to see him later? You are, aren't you? You--"

"Can you stop?" I laughed, shaking Immanuel's arm to push him away from me. I was happy to be here with the two of them even with Immanuel's constant need to ask a bunch of questions. "Yeah, I'm seeing him later. He texted saying he has something to show me after the game."

There was a pause in our conversation. A pause that was filled with the glance that Iman and Larine exchanged with each other.

"No!" I exclaimed with a frown. "He's not going to show me that."

"You never know," Larine muttered, her fingers zooming across her laptop as she typed whatever code she was conjuring up like a witch and her own cauldron. While they focused on their assignment, I looked at Aven's response.

Aven: like the snake? lol why are you asking? did you eat?

I narrowed my eyes at my phone screen.

Me: what does me eating have to do with a snake?

Aven: because sometimes you're foggy when you don't eat breakfast.

Me: i ate breakfast. i'm not dumb. and Iman just asked Larine if she's using a snake or whatever for their assignment which makes no sense.

Aven: i didn't call you dumb, dumbass. i said foggy which you've told me you are if you don't eat in the morning. and they probably meant the coding system Python.

Oh.

Aven: me calling you dumbass doesn't mean that you're dumb either.

Me: thank you for the clarification.

Aven: do you need me to send 'you're not dumb' a hundred times just to make sure it's actually clarified?

Me: you know what you can do? send my yagu playlist to Dev so I can get ten likes on it.

Aven: i am not going to do that.

Me: Why not :(

Aven: he doesn't like country.

Me: you don't like country and even you have liked the playlist and listened to it.

Me: Pleaseeeeee

Me: PLEASEEEEE

Quickly, I switched to my music app on my laptop and went to the playlist, grinning at what I saw. Ten likes. Exactly what I wanted.

Me: Thank you :)

Me: You really can't say no to me and I appreciate your existence more for it.

I bit back a laugh when he sent me a middle finger. "By the way," Iman suddenly said, his eyes still fixed on his laptop. "I have an interview on Tuesday."

"For what?" I asked, ping-ponging between the two who didn't let anything, including my question, distract them as they hammered down on their computers. Larine's reading glasses were two seconds from falling off of her face and Iman looked like he was about to jump into his laptop screen. They almost looked as if they were in sync. But no, it was just the sight of two computer science geeks mentally geeking out on the respective codes they were making.

"An internship with this company."

Larine's eyes lit up. "What company?"

When he said the name, I didn't recognize it but Larine did because she gasped, finally looking away from her laptop. "No way! Congrats!"

Iman rubbed the back of his neck, offering a sheepish smile, "It's not like I got it."

"But an interview? That's huge." She said and my heart pumped with joy for our friend.

"You're going to kill it," I told him. With his likable personality, never-ending list of questions, whoever that company was would be a fool not to hire him.

"Thanks." He whispered before clearing his throat. "When you get the position for Dalhousie, we'll go out to celebrate whether I get the position or not."

Immanuel Wilson: forever an optimist. But the mere mention of the research position made my stomach twist for some reason. Some reason that led me to take three deep breaths before I shook my head.

"Iman."

"You'll get it." He promised.

"And you'll get it," I promised back, our smiles similar but not the same. I didn't think his was as strained as my own.

The hours in the day went by quickly as Iman, Larine and I immersed ourselves into our individual work. Larine dropped me off at real work where I had to deal with the diverse set of customers, I was lucky that no one had made me hate where I worked today. When I returned home to a quiet house, I continued doing tasks to get ahead for the upcoming week.

One second, I was at my desk, writing down an equation and deducing each variable and the next I wasn't, succumbed in darkness.

I didn't know I had been asleep until I realized how heavy my mind had been. I faintly became aware that the darkness was because my eyes were closed. But my heart started to ramp up in my chest at the faint sound of someone moving throughout the house.

It was probably just Larine.

The sound was quickly replaced by the faint creak of my room door. That audio only made me groan lowly, knowing someone was about to disrupt my peace. My face dug further into my arms as I shifted my body into a more comfortable position at my desk. Bring my peace back.

Sleep was good. Sleep was great. I liked sleep more than the average human probably did and if it was up to me I'd stay here but someone had other plans.

"Jay," Aven's soft voice rang in my ears.

"Hmm?" There's no way he was here.

I snuggled further into the warmth of my arms. This was a dream. A nice dream encompassed in the darkness behind my eyelids that just happened to have Aven's smooth voice in my ears.

No, but his voice was a turn-on. And I refused to believe that I was having a sex dream right now because if I was having a sex dream--

"Jay."

This time, I stilled.

I opened my eyes slightly to see him looking down at me, concern all over his handsome face. Even in the blurry vision, I was able to decipher that he had snow that was starting to melt all over his hood. He probably took the bus here instead of his car.

He took the bus to get here. 

At that knowledge, I sat up, rubbing my eyes. I probably looked as dishevelled as I felt. "What time is it?" My voice scratched my throat, sounding as groggy as my thoughts when I put my hands down on my desk, taking in the bright lighting of my room and coming from my lamp.

"It's 8."

"Well, hi," I tried pulling on a smile, but I was still way too tired. "What are you doing here?"

"I told you I was going to swing by to show you something, remember?" Aven only hiked up his backpack. He shut off the main lights, leaving just the lamplight on for me to see the soft glow on his face. "Go to bed."

"I can't," I mumbled, tapping at my laptop keys to turn it back on from sleep mode. "I have an assignment due at midnight for biochem that I need to go over with Mari and Iman. Fuck, I didn't think I was going to sleep. I almost missed it."

"Is Mari in?"

Huh? "In what?"

I wasn't that tired to not see the light smile cross his face due to my confusion. "In your house? Larine opened the door for me, so I didn't see her."

"Um, no. She's coming back on Monday morning. I'm supposed--," I groaned out loud. "I was supposed to FaceTime her but she's still not talking to me," I told him as I opened up the assignment document and then opened up my phone.

My blurry vision must've failed me. No, it wasn't failing me.

She texted me a screenshot of her answers. A part of me sighed in relief but another part of me was irritated that there was no other form of dialogue coming from her side.

She might as well have said 'here, I don't want you to fail but I'm still not going to speak to you'. I sighed. Aven must've noticed because he did what I wasn't expecting him to do. He dropped his backpack, taking my laptop off of my desk and snatching my phone out of my hands. Before I could even argue, he was out of my room, closing the door behind him.

On the other side of my door, I could hear him speaking to someone who had a deep voice. Immanuel. Then I could faintly hear Mariam's voice. He must've gotten Iman to call her and add him to the call. I could imagine the face she was most likely making at Aven being the one on my phone, asking about my assignment. I couldn't even process what he was doing. Not even when the short phone call had ended and he entered my room again, closing the door behind him with my closed laptop in his hand.

He put the laptop on my desk just as I yawned for the hundredth time, watching him wearily. "They both said all of your answers were the same and so I submitted it."

I nodded, still not fully processing what he was saying.

"C'mon," He said, pulling me up with my hand. I all but collapsed onto my bed, somehow managing to crawl under the covers.

I turned my head in his direction and I spoke up, my voice muffled against the pillow, "How was your exhibition game?"

"That doesn't matter." He went to go reach for his backpack, ready to go, but I leaned forward, grabbing him by the hand to keep him next to my bed. 

"How was your game?" I asked. 

"We won. Now, c'mon, stop talking and go to sleep."

"How many did you get?" I asked, turning over to look up at him already looking down at me.

Conflict arose in his eyes. "Jay."

"How many hits? How many cleared?" Aven could tell I wasn't going to stop asking him questions. Even in my state, I wanted to know. The bed dipped next to me where he sat down. And I listened as he rattled off the statistics of his game today and of his game yesterday that I hadn't been able to ask about because we were so caught up with his roommates.

After episodes and episodes of a random anime Laurence had found on Netflix, he didn't speak of his parents any further. As for Dev, I wasn't sure what had happened but I didn't think the conversation with his girlfriend had gone well. He showed up in the living room about an hour after his phone call with a frown stitched onto his face but watched the show with us until I had grown tired and Aven had dropped me off at home.

When Aven was done telling me about his game stats, he slid his phone back into his pocket, starting to get up, "Now go to sleep."

"But I want to talk to you," I mumbled, barely keeping my eyes open.

Aven stopped moving. His eyes were searching my face. I didn't know for what and I wasn't sure. If he had found what he was looking for, I wasn't certain. All he did was let out a sigh, "You can talk to me after you sleep. You're burnt-out, Jay."

I was starting to hate that he knew me better than I thought. "I'm okay."

"No, you're not," He said quietly. "At least admit that."

I stayed silent, tucking my hand beneath my head. If I thought about it, it wasn't real. I wasn't going to think about it. I was going to focus on him. "You can lie down, you know. I'm not going to do something weird like bite you." Bite him? What? I didn't want to question where that statement came from.

"I don't think you're a biter." He turned away from me as he took his hoodie off his body. He wore a dark t-shirt underneath with the Chicago Bulls logo that he must've changed into after his game.

"Ezekiel wouldn't like that," I mumbled and he looked at me over his shoulder, brown eyes dancing with amusement as he put his sweater over my desk chair.

"What Zeki doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Do you have a bunch of Raptors merch that he makes you get?"

Aven nodded, not offering to say anything further as he made his way back onto my bed, shuffling down until he was in the same position as me, tucking a hand beneath his head. Aven was in my house. He was in my room. But now he was in my bed.

This was a first.

"Did you come straight here?" I asked. I needed to talk. If I talked, I'd have a reason to look at him. If there was silence between the two of us at any second, then--he nodded. "You didn't have to do that."

"Well, I'm glad I did or else you would've missed that assignment and you would have freaked the fuck out and I wouldn't have heard the end of it."

I frowned. I didn't think I talked that much in front of him. "I don't mean to annoy you with all my stupid complaints."

Aven searched my face for the second time that night, his smile dimming. This time he didn't seem to like what he had found. He shook his head slowly, his eyes filled with sincerity. "They're not stupid," He said softly. Soft enough that I closed my eyes. "I like hearing you complain."

"I could stop."

"Don't ever stop," He whispered. I opened my eyes when he turned onto his back but kept his vision upon me. "But for now, you need to sleep.

"Are you sore?" I couldn't help but ask.

"No."

"Tired?"

"Yeah."

"Me fucking too."

"I'm sorry about that." Opening one eye, I spotted him smirking at me. The recollection of one of the conversations from the early days of our interactions entered my mind. It was a memory from a good night. The first time in his room.

"I despise you," I muttered.

"No, you don't." He said, his voice lower. But lighter. 

No, I didn't. As I had once said, it was impossible to hate Aven Montaque.

"Do you want me to give you a cookie or something?" He continued.

"Shut up," I grunted, closing my eyes once again as he laughed. The sound felt good. The sound entered my veins, coursed my body, and put a smile on my face even if it was meant to antagonize me. "Turn off the lamplight, would you?"

"Making me get up and down here," Aven grumbled but he did as I asked. The warm light that was against my eyelids disappeared. The only stream of light came from my windows that were covered by the curtains.

I opened my eyes once again as Aven joined me on my bed for the third time that night. I could barely make him out, but I was close enough to see the bridge on his nose, to see the outline of tight curls of his hair. "Anything else to make you more comfortable?"

I was good. "Are you tired?" I asked again.

"You already asked me that."

"I mean, like, sleepy tired," I mumbled.

"Yeah, I'm sleepy tired."

"You can nap here. I don't mind." I said, digging my face into my pillow as I got comfortable, pulling the comforter over my shoulders and halfway across my face.

At first, Aven didn't do anything but then I felt movement. He got under the covers. He shuffled lower so that the comforter was over his shoulders as well. His legs may go over my bed just a bit due to his tall height, but he didn't complain. He wasn't a complainer. He adjusted. He bent his knees, and I took a deep breath when his knees brushed against my legs. I felt the simple action all over my body and if I wasn't so tired, I may have found another excuse for him to touch me again.

"It was a good reading week," He suddenly said. "You know, despite barely going anywhere."

I yawned into my pillow; my eyelids heavy. "Toronto counts."

"Barely."

"It was fun, though."

"Yeah, it was."

I yawned once again, folding my arms underneath me and keeping my face in his direction. I didn't want to fall asleep facing away from him. I wanted to fall asleep with him on my mind, whether he was in front of me or not. "We should do it again."

I could see his lips rise in the darkness. "The entire reading week?"

"I was thinking about the concert. Remember? The first time I was in your room, you said that we're going to go to a concert. And we did."

Aven turned onto his back, I could faintly see him put a hand behind his head, his arm bent. A small smile came to his face. "Concerts make you so happy. It was obvious when you said it that night you were in my room for the first time, and Iman said it but to see it? Jay, you should've seen your face when the band came on the stage, you looked like you were going to explode with happiness, I swear."

I bite my lip, imagining myself like a small puppy, jumping up and down without a care in my head. Suddenly, I groaned, hiding my face behind my hands. "Why does that sound so embarrassing?"

"Stop," Aven's hand removed my own from my face. "It's not embarrassing. It's you."

Unfortunately, it was me. Aven seemed to accept that. He seemed to like that. Ms. Green may have been right. I think he did have me all figured out. Whether I wanted him to or not. "Does that mean the future holds more concerts together?"

"Yeah, of course," I let out a little laugh that has him grinning back at me. "But you need to go to sleep, Jay."

Now? When he was smiling at me like this and my mind was soaring, drinking at this moment with him like I had done every single day over the past week? Forget sleep. "You go to sleep first."

Even if I couldn't see him clearly, I sensed the eye roll. "Why do you have to argue with me even when you're like this?"

"I wouldn't be me if I didn't," I said. "Besides, who's going to keep up with your dumb takes?"

"They're not--" Aven cut himself off with a sigh, reaching forward to put a hand over my eyes. The motion had me beaming as I moved his hand down and pressed my cheek on top of my hand so he wouldn't do that again. Aven looked down at our hands before locking eyes with me once again. "Go to bed."

"I'm already in bed."

His lips lifted. Of course, they did. I made him smile like that. "Smartass."

"Dumbass," I bit back.

Sleep was already overcoming me. Exhaustion seeping through my bones as I closed my eyes and mumbled out a goodnight. I was so sure before I really fell asleep that he said goodnight back. That he didn't pull back his hand from under my cheek. That he didn't turn away from me as I succumbed to the darkness. And the last thing I saw in the quiet of the night was Aven Montaque.