Chapter Thirty-Two: "At the Door."

DECEMBER CALLED FOR more snow and freezing nights. Yet I wasn't irritated by the change. Even now as Mariam and I walked out of the lecture hall, bundled in jackets as a strong breeze whipped through the air and the clouds darkened with no rain or snow in sight. And I was content.

Mariam was speaking into her scarf, but my mind was going to places beyond the topic of winter break plans. Beyond the moment. I was convinced I was on some kind of contact high that hasn't left my system for a while. Or from a few days ago. Or from whenever our, as in Aven and I's, schedules had time for each other.

I think we got too carried away. We did the other night after going out to eat and we were in the parking garage of his building, lost in each other before we remembered he shared the car with three other people. Last week when he had come over briefly before practice. Over and over and--

"Hey!" Mariam nudged me. "Are you even listening to me?"

"I'm listening, I'm listening," I assured her as we climbed down the steps of the class and made sure I had sent my notes to Iman who had missed class today because he woke up at 1:30 PM.

At a distance, I heard a laugh, and my heart picked up speed when I recognized it instantly. It's amazing how easy it was to know someone just by their laugh.

Aven was leaning against one of the lampposts along the walkway as students continued by, in a circle with three other people. One of the girls in the group I vaguely recognized. I didn't know her name but she looked so familiar, a million names started to run through my head.

The realization of who she was made me stop in my tracks and Mariam followed suit, glancing at me before observing the group a good distance away. She was the one that Aven had rejected when we had been at the library.

Her pretty face was lit up as she spoke to everyone in the group with such enthusiasm it made me want to know whatever the hell she was saying. Yet I couldn't make out any of the words she spoke. But I was able to make out when her hand fell to his arm.

Her hand was on his arm a moment longer than it should have been.

"Woah, Jaime."

I blinked, diverting my attention to my friend, "What? What?"

"Relax," Mariam said with a light smile. I was even a little stunned, reeling it all back in. Relax. "He's with you."

"I don't know about that," I admitted cautiously, flashes of his words and sensations fleeting across my mind. "We haven't talked about that because every time we see each other we go at it."

"Go at it?"

"Sex. It's..." I shook my head out of the sudden rise of images from a few nights ago that drift through my thoughts without permission. It's been days since I felt his hands link with my own and run down my body and his mouth slip from my own due to bright laughter that made my chest feel so full. A deep exhale escaped my body, leaving as a white cloud as I brought myself back to the present. "Let's just say I was late for a Piano Society meeting the other day. Laurence almost killed me."

"Wow." Mariam mused as my gaze went over to Aven once again. She wasn't touching him anymore, but he was still listening to her, their pair engaged in a conversation as the other two people in their circle spoke to each other. A second later, she started to part ways from the group and I watched as she reached out again and squeezed Aven's arm in goodbye.

I was going to pretend that never happened.

That never happened.

"Jaime." Mariam let out a tiny laugh just as my sudden annoyance passed through me. "Oh, you have it bad."

I shook my head, grabbing onto Mariam's arm. The sight bothered me more than it definitely needed to bother anyone. Maybe. "I don't usually get jealous."

"You don't usually fall for someone this hard either." She said. "Things change, you know?"

They did. They did in the best way possible. Even now, as I stared at him wondering is it that I went from seeing him every single day during reading week and barely anymore now that we were together? Together, in some sense at least. How is it that I was able to feel even more for him than I had weeks ago? How is it, like always, I still managed to be so aware of his presence?

Something similar must have occurred for him because his gaze was fixed on me. He started to walk over when a random guy intercepted him. Aven, as polite as always nodded to what the man was telling him before giving him his index finger and walking over to me and Mariam.

"Hey." He shifted his backpack over his shoulder, gripping the arms. "I haven't seen you two in a while."

He was looking at me. Mariam cleared her throat with a knowing smile. "Well, you know. Exam fever."

Just the mention of school even though we were on campus made me bristle. But the need to complain faded the more I kept my gaze on him. "Haven't seen you either."

It seemed like he was struggling to suppress a smile with the twitching corners of his lips, "Busy."

"Busy." I almost groaned out loud. Same. I meant same.

He didn't point out the mix-up. "Are you busy later?"

This could have been done over a simple phone call. Or text. Thank God, it wasn't. Sure, hearing his voice was one thing but seeing him in the flesh was a whole other experience even without touching. And physical touch, that was coded in him. Based on personal experience I knew that. "I could take a break."

My suggestion sparked an obvious desire in his expression, and I fought every need to make my excitement apparent. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." My voice was starting to sound like I ran a 10 km. Mariam was right there yet I couldn't look away from him. I could literally jump him right here. Right now. But I didn't want to get arrested for public indecency. I couldn't even believe that a part of me was considering it.

His name was called by the guy behind him, tapping his foot impatiently. "I'll call you," Aven promised before nodding at Mariam and disappearing from our view.

Mariam's eyebrow went up when she faced me, and I brushed her off. "Don't."

"Oh, he's so down for you as much as you are for him." She said as we continued our way through campus. "Have you told Iman?"

Immediately I groaned, the sound loud enough to attract a few stares but I ignore them, already growing paranoid at the thought of the most exaggerative friend I know finding out about this. "You just reminded me he texted if we could get food when he gets to campus. I'll tell him then. He's not going to react that horribly, is he?"

"Aven's like his brother. He grew up with him. And you're like his sister. Do you not remember the conversation we had about incest like twenty meters from where we're standing?"

I let out a white clouded gust of air, bracing myself.

About an hour later, Immanuel and I sat at a booth next to a window at Wendy's. I eyed him carefully as he brought his burger to his mouth, ready to eat. He hasn't heard back from the interview he had done for a tech company the other day, but he said it had gone well. This was a mini celebration, he called it but here I was, taking a bite out of my nuggets and wondering how the hell to bring up that two of his close friends having sex.

Just say it.

I let my gaze wander around the store. It was mostly empty, save for the few workers lingering at the counter and a small set of people on the other side of the room. This was good. Not many people. Not that many people to witness his reaction. Okay.

Say it.

"Aven and I hooked up."

Iman coughed at the unexpected statement; the burger he was eating becoming lodged in his throat. His cough grew violently and before I knew it, the mashed-up bolus of a burger within his throat flew out of his mouth and landed on my tray.

Immediately, I gagged, getting up from my seat as fast as possible. "God, ew! Iman!"

My sudden movement caught the attention of a few people by the window who stared at Iman were a saucer gaze as he hacked and cocked more, quickly grabbing his water. He shot me a glare once he calmed down and thankfully the people by the window stopped staring at us and carried on with their day. And thank God no one else in the store seemed to check on us.

I made a face watching as Iman wrapped his disgusting saliva-covered burger in a napkin, tossing it in the garbage before we both took a seat again. "The hell is wrong with you? Why would you tell me that while I'm eating?"

"I didn't know when to tell you!" I exclaimed. "I said I would tell you!"

"What the hell, Jaime!"

"I'm sorry! Stop yelling at me!" He sucked in a deep breath, putting his hands on his head. "Someone's going to look at us from the street and wonder why you look like you're seconds away from throwing a tantrum so please, calm down. They probably already thought you were having a stroke ten seconds ago."

He looked outraged even when he put his arms down, "Why didn't Aven tell me?"

"I told him I would tell you because you told me to tell you if it happened. And it happened."

"You hooked up? As in you fucked?"

"Iman."

He put his hands out in front of him, palms down as he tried to explain himself, "Because hooking up can mean many different things to many different people. Did you know some people just think it means a kiss? Some people just think it's oral activity. Sucking dick? Hand activity? And there's also—"

"It was sex," I clarified, not bothering to tell him any more details as I fixed the dark purple hat on my head. "And it wasn't once."

"It wasn't once." He repeated, blinking rapidly. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to process."

"If you're going to start talking about incestuous activities, do me a favour and don't."

"Well—"

"No."

"Fine," Then he looked at me weirdly. I was surprised to detect a bit of hope in his face when he asked, "Are you guys together now?'

My focus went down to my next task, taking off the pickles I had initially asked to take off my own burger. I picked them off, putting them on a napkin. The distraction was meant to alert Iman to grab the pickles himself, but he didn't move. He was still waiting for me to answer. I fought the urge to frown as my stomach twisted, opting to shrug instead, "I think we're just doing what we're doing."

Immanuel didn't look like he believed what I was saying but he didn't press further on the topic. I didn't even press further on it as the days went on.

The night I was supposed to meet Aven fell apart when he realized he had extra things to do for a presentation and paper he had concerning his thesis project. I didn't mind as I had projects and studying of my own to focus on. Organic chemistry took up more of my time I didn't have time to check my phone in the haste of running to Mariam's room to get clarity of a reaction before running back to my room and the beginning of a few sticky notes that the wall above my desk with a few equations and concepts.

But on a Wednesday night, I was sitting at my desk, none of the words on my laptop sticking in my mind as I flicked through my phone just to see the notification banner with a recent text.

With our busy schedules, the random messages of a song we were listening to at the moment were our way of saying hello. I pushed back from my desk, sliding backwards on my desk chair as I stared at the message. Then looked at the time. I could spare a few hours. I needed to spare a few hours. If I looked at my textbook for a second longer, I was going to explode.

My top teeth dug into my bottom lip at another notification from him. Another song. He could be busy. We're all busy. But he was the only person I wanted to see. We didn't have to have sex. While that was great, it wasn't what mattered. I just needed to see him. I sat there for roughly thirty seconds, wondering if I should bother him or not.

I called Aven.

"Hello?" He asked as I got up, needing to stretch my legs and started to make my way to the other side of my room. The sound of an engine revving filled up the speakers for a second before the sound faded away.

"Did I bother you?"

"No," Aven chuckled. "Hi, baby."

I tripped over a sweater on the ground.

Quickly catching myself before I fell to the floor, my eyes widened at the term of endearment and at the sight of my room. Exam season had turned my room into a war zone of clothes and paper plates. But that didn't matter. He called me baby outside of the bedroom. Outside of being on top, beside or under me while making my head spin and fall apart under his touch.

"Jay?"

"Hi, hi,"  I started picking the three paper plates up to throw away as I regained my composure. "I'm sorry I haven't texted you back or called."

"I figured you're studying. Iman said he hadn't seen you either and Mariam said that she's barely seen you and she lives with you."

"You talked to Mariam?"

"Sociology, remember?" Right.

"Are you free to come over?" I suddenly asked. "I mean, if you want to. It's just, I need to see another face that's not the other three. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but I need one other person and if Iman or Clayton come here I know we'd spend the entire night finding something else to do and work would be forgotten but you kind of know--"

"I'm on my way."

When Aven appeared at the door, he looked around the house. His strong build was exposed as he took off his black jacket, revealing a grey long sleeve and black Adidas pants underneath. "It's quiet."

"Yasmeen has two meetings to close the semester today. Mariam and Larine are at the library and said they don't plan on being back until midnight."

I spun around at the last word, heading towards the kitchen when strong arms wrapped around my waist from behind. Involuntarily, I inhaled him, molding myself into his body as I slowly walked forward. "I missed you." He said against my ear.

His confession knocked the breath out of me as I gripped his arms. If I didn't, I swear I would have fallen over. "I missed you too. Also, I'm sorry, I swear I'm not ignoring you by not texting back as often. I put my phone on the other side of the room."

"I know," He turned me around to look at him. "I get it. Don't worry."

"We're okay?"

"It's not like you're in trouble," Aven mumbled, sitting up on the counter as I dug through the fridge for leftovers and asked him if he wanted anything but he declined. When I took out a plate of rice and stew, I realized Aven's gaze had cut up to me.

"What?"

"You're not in trouble, Jaiyesimi. Don't know what you're into but I'm not going to spank you or something."

"Shut up," I mumbled, grabbing a plate that I planned to wash tonight. But the idea started to settle into my thoughts and I pondered over whether I thought I might enjoy that considering I had never tried it with a past partner.

There was a pause in our conversation, and I took that as the opportunity for me to put the rice dish on a plate and shove it into the microwave. It's when I was pressing the buttons that Aven muttered, "You'd probably enjoy that. Or maybe you wouldn't. We'll find out."

My eyes fell shut at his abrupt behaviour that never failed to cause me whiplash. I didn't hate it. I have never hated it. Give me this Aven. Give me red-eared Aven. I wanted both.

I had both.

I assumed I had both.

Both allowed me to explore and figure out how each other worked in bed with ease, questions and clear boundaries. It, us, was fun. Yet also electric and overwhelming. It was the reason that I had to twist away from his gaze as I kept my focus on my food turning and turning in the microwave, completely aware of him looking at me. Even that knowledge was too much.

By the time we had made our way to the living room, my heartbeat still hadn't evened out but I managed to say that we could watch two episodes of the next show we were giving our attention to. Both episodes were a full hour each. "Then I got to get back to studying."

"Deal." He said, hopping over the couch to sit next to me as I turned on the TV and fiddled with the buttons, trying not to zone in on his arm pressed against my own. On the way he adjusted himself to press his thigh against mine.

I was about to hit play when he stopped me. "Wait."

Aven leaned forward, one hand on the side of my neck to press his lips against my own. Immediately, I dragged myself back, grinning. Finally. "You need chapstick. Your lips are dry."

"I took the bus here. It's cold outside. Just kiss me." He muttered, kissing me once again, his tongue slipping between my lips. His other hand held my neck as I pressed him closer, pushing aside my food to hold onto him properly. He broke away by a fraction to say, "You didn't kiss me at the door."

"You didn't either." I bit back, pressing a kiss to his jaw, along his jaw, behind his ear and down his neck.

Aven's hands fell to my waist, gripping as his breathing grew deeper, ragged. A zing of satisfaction went through my body when his hold on me tightened as I licked and teased the skin on his neck. "I just did."

My hand went over his sweater, right over his heart. The thudding was prevalent against my palm and made my lips rise. "But not at the door." I pointed out and he hitched me up again to kiss me chastely before leaning back.

"Eat." He demanded, slinging an arm around my shoulders. I set my legs up on the couch, leaning the back of my head on his shoulder while balancing my plate in my hands.

Even when I clicked play, he didn't forget what he demanded, his hand coming up to my face to squeeze my cheeks annoyingly. I swatted his hands away as he laughed. "Did you eat yet?"

Aven mumbled that he did while watching me, concern forming lining between his eyebrows. "You've been taking breaks?" I nodded. "Stressed?"

"Not like I thought I would be," I admitted, shoving another forkful of rice in my mouth. "Laurence was trying to get something planned again but I said no and pushed it to next year. He has way too many ideas. That club should be paying him."

"You said no?"

I nodded. "He was a little annoyed, but I told him I had too much on my plate as it was."

Aven's eyes shone with pride. "Good job."

"Thanks." I grinned. "And I've got a study sheet for finals. I talked to Dr. McCormick during office hours, and she gave me some extra practice for questions, so I think I'll be good for that exam." I continued to explain as Aven listened, interjecting with his own comments before we fully paid attention to the show.

We made it through one episode and one argument that lasted eight minutes before I was straddling him, yanking my top off and his warm mouth was on my collarbones. Aven's hands gripped my ass, rocking me onto the lower half of his body.

My face was in the crook between his shoulder and his neck before he heaved me up to brush his lips against my own. His voice was husky when he spoke, "When I said I missed you, I meant it."

My hands came to the sides of his neck, my thumbs caressing the skin there as I struggled to wrap my head around that fact. And although my mind was foggy and drunk by his touch and closeness, I had never been clearer with my words when I whispered, "I meant it too."

I took his hand and put it past my underwear. When I placed my own down his boxers, a string of curses flew from his mouth in soft pants I complemented with my own.

And we were off.

Afterwards, Aven was sitting on my desk chair, and I was placed between his legs on the edge of the chair. I leaned forward as the two of us looked at my laptop screen. "This song is awful."

"It is not." His hands squeezed my waist, making me straighten as I tried to keep my attention on the screen, at one of his playlists he had allowed me to collaborate with him on my screen.

We were not going to do it again, I kept repeating to myself as I looked through the list in front of me. After two times I was drained, rendered in a blissful state surrounded by his arms that hadn't let me go. He had enough stamina to keep going judging by the way his hardening erection pressed against my lower back. Unconsciously I backed up into him and I could hear him take a deep breath, but he made no further movement to do anything about it.

"It's horrible." I dramatized, choosing to ignore our needs. It was a good thing we both had a great ability to restrain ourselves. "The whole album is horrible. I don't know how your ears weren't bleeding when you were listening to it."

"Do not remove it from the playlist." He warned but that didn't stop me from trying. Aven's hand shot out, holding my arms down as he covered my back with his chest, his chin on my shoulder as he stared at the screen with me.

He didn't budge as I tried to wiggle out of his hold, his breath warm against my cheek as he suggested, "Okay, you take out one song and I can take out one."

"Which one are you picking?" I asked, straining my neck to look at his handsome profile.

Aven's lips twitched, "That one."

When I looked at the screen to where he was pointing, I made an inhumane sound of disbelief. "No way! Get off me!"

He burst out laughing, holding me even tighter to him as I exaggeratedly struggled. "You have the worst taste in the history of music taste. I can't believe you would even say that!"

He couldn't stop even as his hand came up to turn my jaw in his direction. Then his eyes that danced with amusement softened and his breath became mine when he pressed a light kiss to my lips. "Do you want to watch a movie at the theatre tomorrow as a break? I want to see you."

"A movie sounds good." I grinned. Although his question reminded me of something another had asked me in the past, almost a year ago, I pushed, almost shoved the memory away when he smiled back, kissing me again.

We kissed deeper but not as fiery as we had when we stumbled into my room half naked with our clothes in our hands before letting them fall to join the other clothes on my messy floor and slamming the door shut. Softer yet not as hard as he had before he yanked my panties down my ankles. Slower and not as fast as he did when he was inside me. But he kept his hand stuck to me as he did the entire time he had been here as if I was meant to be under his hold forever before the sound of his phone rang off on the desk.

We broke apart as he reached for the device and answered the call. He put the phone on speaker, and I could feel his lips move against the back of my shoulder, "Clara, is that you?"

"Hi!" She chirped with rustling in the background.

"Dad's phone?"

"Yup, he's busy doing something," More rustling. "He took the tablet and now I can't play my game."

A finger prodded my back and reflexively I sat straight up and alert. I shot Aven a scowl and he buried his forehead into my back, suppressing his laughter as I spoke up, "Hi, Clara."

"Jay?"

"It's me."

A little gasp came through the line, "Aven told me you got different hair. He said it's pretty."

"He did?" I try to twist to see Aven but he stilled me in his hands, keeping his forehead pressed into my back. When I tried to get a good angle of him, I fail but manage to catch a glimpse of his red ears. I started to rub his arms that were secured around my waist, not helping it when my lips rise.

"Can I see?"

"I'll send you a picture through his phone," I promised, leaning back into Aven's hold as he moved his head up, continuing to speak to his sister over my shoulder. When she has to go eat dinner, I reached forward to end the call before dragging myself away away from him. But he managed to hold onto my arms, sliding his hands down to link ours together.

"No," I said.

He completely knew what he was doing, smiling up at me and innocently asking, "No what?"

"I have to continue studying and I have one final project due before classes end and I've barely started. And you have your presentation and paper to finish."

"Are you kicking me out?"

"I don't want to," I really didn't. "But I have to."

Aven frowned but he didn't mean it. "You're kicking me out."

"I'm kicking you out."

Aven's lips formed a pout that made me grin even as he started to put on his pants.

I pulled on shorts, unable to suppress any giddy and warm feelings as he gets dressed. By the time we moved over to the front door, his shoes on his feet and his jacket on, he strung his backpack over his shoulder, leaning down to kiss me. "I'll see you tomorrow. Call me when you take a break?"

"I will." I fingered his chain, tugging him down to kiss me once again, smiling when he didn't let me go. I patted his chest, pushing him away with every fibre of my being. "Go. Go."

"I'm going. I'm going." He wasn't moving. He stood there staring at me, making butterflies swirl in my stomach the longer he stayed fixed on me.

After a minute of debating, Aven finally left and I let out a sigh, leaning the back of my head against the door. A creak sounded from the staircase and Mariam appeared. She must have come from the library sooner. And heard that entire interaction.

"It's good to see you so happy." She said.

It was good to feel so happy.

Too bad the feeling of happiness doesn't always last long.