dedicated to FlavierRocky for the cover above and below! thank you <3

Chapter Thirteen: "It Didn't Happen."

I DESPISE THE name Ashton.

PCR and centrifugation machines buzzed in the biomethods lab that dull morning but they faded in the background of the chatter coming from the other groups as they discussed their own projects. Around me were the three boys I was forced to work on our report due sometime after the break. 

I didn't know how long it took me to deduce that Ashton was the leader of the other two boys in our group. Somehow, he led the interruptions while the other two mindlessly agreed. I wouldn't have initially cared.

But Ashton had no idea what the hell he was saying.

"We need to write the abstract." His slithering voice made me hold back an eye roll.

"You can't write the abstract when you haven't even finished writing the discussion." I reminded him for the hundredth time.

He pretended that I didn't speak, turning to one of the other guys. A part of me refused to know that person's name too. Maybe because this guy was the one who wanted to bring up hockey 25/8. In my head, his name was Tweedledee One. "Can you do it?"

"Sure." So, I would be looking over and redoing his work. Great.

Ashton turned to the other guy. The same one who has been laughing at a video on his phone for the past twenty minutes. You'd think he'd get over the video in two minutes or come back to it later but the one he kept watching seemed to be on loop.

His name was Tweedledee Two.

Ashton's attention slid to me. "Nice job editing the introduction."

It was said in a masked condescending tone, resulting in me suppressing my anger and faking blankness.

He didn't mess with the introduction, did he? He wouldn't. My fingers were on the mousepad of my laptop before I even think about it, pulling up our shared document and my teeth dug into my bottom lip at the crossed-out lines on my work.

"The TA said what I had written was fine."

"I added in a few extra details." Ashton shrugged, closing his own laptop. He started to take off his lab coat. "The paragraph didn't have anything about the previous studies."

Yes it did. I looked at the screen to see that Ashton crossed out my lines mentioning addressing two previous papers. While he claimed to add a few extra details to the paragraph, all he did was reword what I already had. And add nonsense.

He was already waving bye, heading out of the room along with other people. The Tweedledees were quick to follow suit while I walked over to one of the TAs, asking them if the info dump Ashton included was necessary.

When they told me no, I didn't even feel delighted. Any chance of complacency was shot down by the feeling of hostility and there was no way I was going to release that onto Ashton.

Clutching onto my backpack, I stomped through the freezing wind over to Morris College while texting Yasmeen.

Me:

I hate men. 

yasmeen:

I know. Me too.

A snort left me as I told her I'd talk to her later tonight while grabbing the key Laurence had given me last Monday.

Entering the warm building, I made my way downstairs not even a few seconds later as I walked into the music rooms. Each room was soundproof, and I didn't know if anyone was in there, but I was too irritated to care. Walking into one room near the back, I closed the door behind me and dropped my backpack to the side. Hastily, I went through the sheet music left on the stand, flipping through songs I had played years ago to songs I've never even heard of until I settled on the familiar one titled Nuvole Bianche.

The second I lifted the cover of the piano and I pressed the cool keys, there wasn't a single thought of doubt in my abilities. When I pressed the cool keys there wasn't much thought of anything. 

The song started off soft. Piano. And as my fingers danced, I took a deep breath, the melody filling my ears. As the song progressed, my eyes didn't leave the sheet music, moving along staff after staff as if I was reading a novel. The transition of the song gravitated towards forte territory, my digits pressed hard against the keys as my emotions of annoyance only seemed to rise with the music.

I allowed the melody to rise to a crescendo. My shoulders unintentionally squared as I continued, and I knew my eyebrows had furrowed as I concentrated on the sheet music as the notes only grew louder and louder. The tension only increased as I tried to bring to concentrate it inside this room instead of letting it linger on the stupid project or the fact that I didn't say anything to Ashton. 

Confront and conquer, Yasmeen had told me. Being quiet wasn't going to help me. Being passive wasn't helping either. No matter how petty I could be.

As the song went back into piano, reverting to the familiar notes that I had played in the beginning, my shoulders eased up. My gaze was stuck on paper in front of me as my feet were constant with the motions on the pedals as the song started to pick up again but this time, I stayed relaxed.

Suddenly, a lean body with a mop of sandy blonde hair slid onto my bench. Laurence's fingers reached out as he joined me an octave below. His digits moved along the keys easily as the melody allows the two of us to get equally lost in the song, in the movements we create.

The song crescendos more than it should with the two of us. I didn't mind. In the corner of my eye, his face was also filled with concentration as he matched my energy but there was a slight upward quirk of his lips. He didn't mind either.

By the end of the song, Laurence let me play the last set of notes by myself and in that moment of musical solitude, the tension was completely released from my body once I had removed my feet from the pedals. 

After a beat, Laurence asked, "You okay?"

I let out a breath. "Yeah. I needed that."

"Rough day?"

"A little bit."

"Music helps me out too," He admitted. He didn't elaborate. Laurence got up, shooting me a small smile before stepping out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night after work and receiving a text message that Benny would be over, I made my way to the library, holding onto the strap of my backpack with one hand and my other held my phone up to my ear. My mom's worried tome came through on the other side. "Jay, I really think you should go home."

"Iman is going to be there. We take the bus home together all the time. I'm fine." I assured her but my words were no use. The scent of coffee hit me as I made my way into the library, lingering people chatting in a low murmur. "What about you? How's New Haven?"

The displeased sound she made on the other side had me laugh. She hated my dad's side of the family more than Abi and I did. They were hectic in general, with a lot of drama to come but for my mom, it was my grandma that took the cake.

It's been twenty years and my mom still thinks she hates her.

"They're coming up to Port Yonge for Christmas."

"No," I pushed the button for the elevator harder than I should have. The stares filled with annoyance flickered over to me from a nearby table didn't stop me from groaning internally. "Please tell me you're lying."

Christmas was meant for mom's side of the family and sometimes my adjacent family when they wanted to fly in. Dad's side of the family was a rare visit for a good reason, especially over the last few years.

"Your grandmother is back in Nigeria," She explained, referring to her own mom. "And won't be coming back anytime soon and your loving, amazing, wonderful—"

"Dad didn't keep his mouth shut about it to his mom, so she offered to bring everyone up to Port Yonge." I deciphered.

"Your father is a headache to me at the moment."

"She's mad for no reason," My father's happy voice came in on the other side and instantly, I smiled. "The holidays will go over smoothly."

"Mom, wanna bet?" I asked as the elevator doors opened.

"No."

"Dad, try to calm down her down."

"That's not going to happen." He said.

"Well, how mad is she on a scale of one to ten?"

"About an eight."

He was screwed.

Saying goodbye to my parents, I rushed over to my area once the doors of the elevator opened, to find not only Iman but Aven and Dev at the table. Aven and Iman didn't notice me at first as Iman was trying to distract Aven from the game he was playing on his phone, tapping annoyingly on his screen. Meanwhile, my focus was on Dev who had nodded in my direction.

Dev was in my spot.

My sacred spot. 

Noticing my irritation, Iman chuckled, locking his hands behind his head, elbows outward. "Here we go."

"What?" Dev asked, taking his earphones out of his ears. 

"You're in her place."

Dev looked up at me, innocently. "Does it say your name?"

"Fuck off." I snapped.

"Someone's not in a good mood today," He chuckled, moving his items to the side of the huge table, allowing me to be situated between him and Iman. Dev got up, "I'm getting food."

"Okay, don't ask us what we want or anything. It is not like I'm not hungry either. I'll sit here and starve or whatever." Iman muttered.

"Text me what you want," Dev said as he started walking away.

Iman swatted his arm away. "Bring me whatever you're having and some water!" Iman called after him before he left our view.

Suddenly, under the table, a foot tapped me my own. I jolted, glancing up and meeting Aven's warm gaze as he said, "You didn't say hi."

"You didn't say hi, either." I pointed out, taking my backpack off as I leaned back into my seat.

Aven kept his gaze steady on me, putting his phone down as he gave me his full attention. I froze for a second, not tearing my eyes off of him. He had a different black sweater on today. His silver chain was hung around his neck and lay upon the zipper of the sweater. But I could barely focus on what the man was wearing when he decided to stare at me like that.

I sat up straight, ignoring Iman whose gaze darted between us. I wasn't going to break first. Not when he was looking at me like that. I wasn't going to break eye contact first.

Did he always have that beauty mark near his right eyebrow? And another near his hairline. His eyelashes weren't that long. He didn't really need long eyelashes. Having him stare at someone like this was compelling enough.

But when Aven's expression grew smug and the start of a smile descended upon his lips, the dimple of his left cheek appearing with it was when I couldn't take the intense gaze anymore.

I quickly broke the contact, pretending to cough in my hand as I reached for my laptop inside my backpack. When I glanced back at Aven after opening my laptop and pulling up a physics assignment, he was fighting the show of the win as he said, "Hi, Jaime."

"Hi, Aven," I grumbled, deciding I couldn't even look at my laptop and instead looked around the room.

My attention went to two girls leaning against bookshelves nearby our table. One of them was looking over in our direction. Aven, also noticing, tapped Iman on the arm. "You know them?"

"She's in my geo class and tutorial. We've talked a bit." Iman bit his lip. Whatever idiotic thing he was about to—then our friend did the most dramatic thing ever. He took off his sweater, revealing his well-defined arms and even stretched, cracking his neck which made me cringe.

"Are you preparing for a marathon or going to talk to her? Jesus." I muttered.

Iman stood, straightening his shirt. "I am going to walk up to her and ask her for her Snapchat."

Good. If Mariam was moving on with Kyle, Iman could move on with someone else. He could do this.

Although, judging by the way he was constantly fixing himself like he was about to take pictures with the prime minister, probably not.

He let out a long exhale, shaking his hands like he had gotten water on them before putting them both on the table. "I'm asking for her Snapchat and I'm nervous. Imagine I was asking her out? Imagine I was asking her out on a fucking date? Do you know how long it has been since I've taken someone out on an actual date? A date? Where you go out? Get dressed?"

"I would hope you get dressed when you go on dates." I couldn't help but say.

Iman narrowed his eyes at me. "You're a lil' cranky at 10 pm. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"How nervous are you?" Aven asked.

"Somewhere between 'the duration of my first time' nervous and 'driving a car with my dad for the first time' nervous." Iman muttered, turning to Aven. "And we know how my dad is when it comes to me driving."

Aven snorted, patting Iman on the back but I was confused. "What happened during your first time?" I asked.

"I don't like to talk about it," Iman said, finally stopping his hands from straightening himself out. "Actually no, the thing Aven is thinking of is the day that should have been my first time."

"What happened?" I asked.

"It didn't happen," Aven said.

"Yeah, he said—"

"No, I mean he couldn't let it happen. Like, he couldn't."

I turned to Iman slowly. "You couldn't."

Iman shrugged, attempting to wave this conversation off as he said, "I didn't know what happened."

"I'm pretty sure it's what happens when you constantly beat your meat at 15, dude," Aven muttered and I slapped my hands over my mouth to hold in my laugh. 

Iman's scowl set me off into quiet laughter when he turned his gaze to me. "Don't talk. Tell him your first-time story then we'll see."

"You don't know about that."

"Yes, I do. You told Mari about it last year. I was there. When you're tipsy, you talk more than I do and that's saying a lot."

My roommate had gone home that weekend of last year. Mariam and Iman had come back to my dorm room after we had gone to a pregame but didn't manage to make it to the party. I was tipsy but that was a moment when I had forgotten that Iman had been in the room. And I told the story I didn't really like bringing up.

Iman pushed off the table. "Wish me luck."

My eyes fell to Iman who walked over to the girl. In less than a few seconds, her friend left them to speak and when I saw the girl smile, I couldn't help but smile myself. Way to go, Iman.

Aven—the same guy that has been staring at me while I watched Iman and was the cause of my right leg bouncing up and down—asked, "What's the first-time story?"

"Let's not," Aven only looked more intrigued, the hand that was digging into his cheek now under his chin. I sighed. "You really wanna know?"

He nodded. "When did it happen?"

"I was seventeen and I was very comfortable with the person I was with at the time. Long story short, it was at his house. We were supposed to be alone. Little did I know that his mom would show up."

Aven's jaw dropped. "She walked in on you guys after?"

"She walked in on us during." I corrected, the memory of his mom's scream shattering my ears. Aven burst out laughing as I repressed that memory into my head. It was a good thing that guy's mom didn't know who the hell I was. We never returned to his house to do anything ever again. "And that is not the first time that has happened for me."

"Who else walked in—"

"Iman walked in one time. We both have nightmares about it so don't bring it up." I said. "What about you?"

"First year of uni."

"Really?"

"Yeah, late bloomer, right?"

"No," I said truthfully. "There shouldn't be an age restriction on when you have sex later in life. Who cares? It's your life."

Although discussing sex wasn't on the top of my list for anything related to Aven. I took a deep breath, pulling my gaze back over to Iman and the girl who were still talking. Then I looked back at Aven whose focus was on them too and before I could even think, the stupid part of me asked. "Was it with your ex or something?"

Aven nodded. "You?"

"Someone I was friends with," I admitted. "Although, I'm sure having feelings attached behind that must've been great."

He picked up the stylus of his laptop, fiddling with the item as he said, "Trinity and I dated for a while. But we didn't have sex until after we broke up."

"After you broke up?"

"I think I still loved her back then," He said. Underneath the table, I heard movement and realized he was stretching out his legs. Glancing down, I realized his long legs were crossed right next to my own. "It made sense to have my first time with her of all people."

"That does makes sense," Yasmeen's voice took over in my head. Be more direct. Open the conversation. "Why did you break up in the first place?"

Aven stopped wiggling the stylus. "A lot of factors. She got accepted to go to school in BC and I got accepted here. Besides that, it seemed best not to continue but that was years ago."

You thought it was best for you two to break up or she did? I wanted to ask but fought against it.

"How long did you guys date for?"

"About three years on and off."

"And you didn't have sex in that period?" My question came out unfiltered and I cursed myself for even asking.

"She wanted to wait at first and then she suddenly decided she was done waiting." Damn. "She swings by here every now and then because her best friend goes to school here. She texted me saying she'll be around for Halloween."

Halloween was only a few days away. Despite falling on a Sunday, everyone was going out that Saturday night well into Sunday early hours. My eyes went to my screen as I started to analyze the given values in a physics question in my notebook. But my curiosity was going to bring out my next question.

I shouldn't ask it. No, do it. He's not going to care. Or is he going to read too much into me asking— "Do you still talk to her?"

"Not really," He shrugged. "Kind of like a hello or bye thing. We're civil."

Dev suddenly appeared at our table with a big brown paper bag in his hands. He took out cartons as he stood by his seat, placing two in front of Iman and a carton of fries in front of me. "I wasn't sure what you wanted," When I said thanks, he flashed me a smile before sitting. "What were you talking about?"

"And Aven and his ex." I said as Dev handed Aven a bottle of water.

Dev turned to Aven. "She coming down for Hallo?"

"Yeah."

"Should I grab my earplugs?"

My eyebrows shot up with interest. Aven glanced down at the table, letting out a little laugh. "Fuck off." Hello and bye kinda thing? My expression must have made Aven sigh before he said to me, "Sometimes we hook up when she's here but it's not that big of a deal."

Oh.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Dev mumbled as Iman returned back to the table, the girl walking towards the elevators.

Iman dazzled us with a big smile, wiggling his phone in his hand. "Look who got it. Look who still has it."

"Has what?" Dev asked.

"It," Iman declared, sitting down at his seat and opening the carton of chicken strips Dev had gotten him. "I got game."

"You don't have anything," Dev said, sending him and Aven off into laughter. 

I tapped Iman as he shoved a chicken strip into his mouth. "What are you doing for Halloween weekend?"

"Midterm," Iman grumbled. "What about you guys?"

"The guys wanna hit parties," Dev said.

"Drunk Aven?" Iman grinned. "Send vids. When we were in high school, Aven got so fucked one night at a party. We were walking back and, New Pen's right off the water, right? And we lived pretty close to it. We were walking along the beach and Aven got this buzz, this feeling--"

"Shut. Up." Aven said with closed eyes and a steady posture. Iman didn't take the hint, continuing his story.

"That feeling told him to tell us, 'we're going swimming'. Everyone was fucking confused until he runs to the sand, strips buck naked. I repeat buck naked, and he jumps right into the water only end up screaming at how cold the water was. But he didn't even get out—Ow!"

Aven retracted his hand from where he slapped Iman upside the head. "So, you're not getting sloshed on Hallo weekend?" Iman asked, rubbing his head.

"I can't," Aven said, his index finger trailing along his chain as he leaned back. "I'm gonna be DD for Hallo and I know I'm gonna end up driving around town."

"You think you were any fun last year when I was DD for Hallo?" Dev rhetorically asked Aven.

Iman glanced over at me. "What about you? Are you and Clay hitting all the parties again?"

"That's the plan," I said, feeling a lot more weighed at the thought of hitting every party on Parkdale and all the others happening in Jasper Bay. My finances ran through my head at how many Ubers we're going to have to go through. Last year, we had no idea where the hell we were going, running around town tipsy into every party we could find that we didn't have to pay for.

"Text Jaime," Iman said to Aven. "She'll know where all the parties are and have a good time."

Aven's eyes slid over to me and I shrugged. Iman wasn't wrong. Halloween was always a good time for me. Came with my love for Fall.

"Tipsy Jaime on the weekend?" Aven asked.

I nodded slowly, looking over the physics question on my screen and ignoring his intense gaze for what felt like the hundredth time that night.  "Tipsy Jaime on the weekend."

As I said, Halloween was always a good time for me.

Usually.