dedicated to ericatheariesgirl for the covers above! thank you <3

Chapter Ten: "Celibacy Vow."

THE CHAIR I WAS sitting in wasn't comfortable. My elbows were digging into the arms of it on Friday morning as I watched my physics professor, Professor McCormick, flick through my answers in my green notebook. The set of practice questions was on the display of one of the two monitors in her office. She was probably in her early or mid 40s but she didn't look it at all. Her brown hair was always high in a bun and she typically wore jumpsuits or dressed fashionably enough for Mariam to always point her out whenever we see her from a distance on campus.

Her face relaxed when she looked at me amused. "You didn't have to it this way, you know that?"

"I know," I admitted, moving my thumbnail from my mouth. "I needed to test things out."

The physics midterm was coming up this Saturday and one of the reasons why it was my favourite course of the semester was because she taught it. I genuinely liked coming to her office hours. She was kind, a complete contrast to my old physics professors last year with their stoic attitudes.

"The way you did it was fine. Oh, you found a typo in the textbook," She said, handing me back my papers. "I'll have to call them."

"Do you think that would have been the only mistake?"

"Humans aren't perfect Ms..."

"Jaiyesimi Okusanya. But you can call me Jaime."

"Ms. Okusanya," She said it right without any hesitation. "Humans aren't perfect. If you find another typo, let me know. Any more questions?"

"What's question 1 on the midterm?"

She shot me a look, amusement in her eyes, "Not telling you."

"I had to try." We exchanged our goodbyes as I headed off for a short afternoon shift. 

While I loved Fridays, I figured it would be as it always was: a regular Friday. Yet Yasmeen was busy with her extracurriculars, Mariam was meeting a few people for a group project and I had my midterm which resulted in me spending that Friday night residing in my usual spot at Lambton. But whatever the hell Iman said he was going to do the other night he did. My phone buzzed with a message from Instagram as I twiddled with the stylus pen of my laptop.

aven montaque: are you on campus?

Me: yeah.

aven montaque: where you at?

Me: library.

aven montaque: which one and where in?

Me: why? you coming?

aven montaque: I repeat my further questions.

I grinned.

Me: Lambton. Fifth Floor. Near the end of the room behind the bookshelves. Right corner.

Fifteen minutes later, Aven appeared, looking ridiculously hot as usual. Tonight, he was wearing his dark Nike black sweater and was currently pulling the hood off his head, exposing his slightly red ears from the cold.

Aven's interest was on the big window next to the table, hands on the windowsill as he looked upon the campus lit up by the streetlamps down below. "Iman said you'd be here," Of course he did. "Do you mind having company?"

"No, you're good. Sit."

He took a seat next to me, putting his backpack on the table and his duffel bag by his side. "How long have you been here?"

"After my lab ended."

"How long ago was that?"

"A few hours ago."

"A few hours? It's 9 pm. Did you eat?" He brought out his laptop and the charger, plugging it into the outlet attached to the top of the large table.

"You sound like Yasmeen."

"Who's that?"

"She's my roommate. Now that I have her voice and now your voice in my head. I'll get food after I finish this question," He rubbed at his eyes, slouching as opened his laptop. "Busy day?"

"Always," He grumbled, "I wanna sleep but Dev's girlfriend came down to visit him. His room is next to mine and his bed is against the wall connected to my room so--"

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Aven said, "So the library is the only place I could think of to do something productive."

"I get the roommate issue. I'd talk to her about it but,' Yasmeen's voice entered my head yet again. "Apparently, I don't like confrontation."

"I mean, with Dev and his girlfriend, it's long-distance and she's only staying here one night. What about your roommate?"

"Her boyfriend goes here so he's over a lot."

"Are you going to wait for them to break up or something before you tell her?"

"I like Lambton," I said. "I like my little table. I think I'll be fine."

"Until it's 4 am and you wake up to the sound of them, then you're going to have an issue." Aven leaned back in his chair, twiddling with his own stylus pen.

"Then it's a good thing Lambton is open 24/7." I pointed out.

Aven must have noticed that I wasn't going to budge on the topic, choosing to change our conversation. "What'cha studying?"

"I'm working on my biomethods project but then I have to study for my physics midterm. The Jaime stress scale is at a 6 right now."

"What happens when you hit 10?"

"You don't want to see what happens when I hit 10," I said. Breakdown. Crying. I've only hit a 10 a handful of times in my life and they will never ever be a point I like revisiting in my life.

As we work on our own things for the next few minutes, I couldn't focus on the words on the document in front of me. The irritation I was holding down is fighting to break the surface and it did when I asked, "Is Laurence a dick?"

"What?"

"Is a Laurence a dick?"

Aven shook his head. "Nah, Laurence is as a good a guy as any. Why? Did he do something to you?"

"No, I only brought him up because he's in STEM," I took a deep breath. "I'm dealing with the worst group of people I've ever had to deal with in my entire life."

For the next three minutes, Aven stared at me, listening to every single word I said about how much I despised all the boys in my group without interjecting.

Biomethods was a full-year course. Our biggest assignment was a scientific research paper due at the end of this semester and a huge presentation the next semester. The presentation was the most important. A few faculty members were allowed to appear to watch us present thesis levelled papers even though we're only in second year. Presenting with these wannabe keeners? I was in hell.

"And. I'm frustrated. That's all."

He was silent for a moment. "I'm sure Laurence is proof that not all of those guys can be assholes. The guys in your groups are complete and utter dicks for ignoring you like that."

"The good thing about all of this is that I'm one of the two presenting only because they barely know what the project is about," I said. And I absolutely hated presenting. I got clammy and flustered and shaky. It was usually terrible.

At the end of my sentence, I slouched in my chair. Grabbing my hat from my head, I put it over my face as if that was going to calm me down. 

When he spoke, there was no humour in his voice, "You better give them hell on the day of the presentation."

I didn't have to make eye contact to tell that he was serious. But the sincerity in his voice definitely caught me off guard as I looked at him. I was still trying to figure him out. He was nice. He was attractive. He was an athlete. He had the look of someone who could play with your emotions yet everything I've heard of him and everything I've seen so far didn't send me any red flags. 

"I plan to," I muttered, trying and probably failing to hide that I was analyzing him. He didn't acknowledge that. "But it's annoying. Is it so hard to listen to a girl? I mean, the noble prize winners for chemistry last year were two women! Not men. And it was on genome editing which is revolutionary."

"Editing genomes? You mean your DNA?" Aven's eyes narrow in not only confusion but slight horror. "To create, like, superhumans?"

"Yes," Not really. But the look on Aven's face made me laugh until I assured him it wasn't like that.

His phone buzzed and he quickly typed out a message to the person before saying, "You know, I keep finding it hard to believe that you're in science. You don't seem like someone who would want to be in science."

He levelled his heavy gaze on me. Roaming my braids and outfit in a swoop. "I can picture you in music for some reason. I think it's 'cause of your hands."

"What about my hands?"

His eyes went down to my fingers wrapped around the stylus pen. They were long as hell. I lnew that if we measured our hands, my fingers would be the same size if not longer than Aven's. Years of piano playing didn't have anything to do with what I considered my abnormal finger length. That was a myth. But I always blamed the piano as the reason why my fingers were so long.

Aven's focus on them wasn't helping. I was about to shove my fingers into my pockets and when I went to do so, my stylus tumbled out of my right hand and fell onto the ground. Hastily, I picked it up when Aven responded. "They're graceful, I guess? I can't find the right words."

"I played piano for a while. Maybe that's why they're graceful looking."

"How long is a while?"

"Since I was seven," I said.

"You've never brought it up."

I shrugged. Piano was a bigger part of my life back in Port Yonge. At Sheppard Valley, where I volunteered, it's how Ms. Green and I became friends. She had spotted me staring at the piano her "lover" constantly plays every time I go to the care home and encouraged me to play it. When she heard me—rather, she forced me—to play it once, she basically took me under her wing. "No reason to," I told him.

"You know they have a piano club here at HU, right?"

That was news. "Wait, what?"

"Laurence is part of it. He's VP of Events. They go to different places when someone's performing. He was in Stratford the other weekend for a concert. There were like 30 people that went with him. He has committee applications opened up. You should apply. I can tell Laurie about it and he'll let you know more. Do you mind if I give him your number?"

"No."

A beat passed. Then he said, "Okay, I'm stupid. I don't even have your number."

"Glad you caught on." Aven handed me his phone and I texted myself. "Thanks."

"Anytime. But you know you're going to have to play for me one of these days."

"We'll see," I mumbled as he went through his bag taking out and pushing a package of almonds towards me. "No Twizzlers today?"

"Ran out. A neon headed girl ate my last batch."

"Sounds like you have to restock."

"Sounds like I do." He chuckled as I opened the package. About thirty minutes of studying pass when I'm holding an almond in my hand and Aven is situated on his chair a little farther from the table. His hands are stretched outward, fingers curling as he gestures for me to throw the next almond in his direction as we've been doing for the past few minutes.

"C'mon."

"You're going to miss it."

"Where's the Jaime encouragement?"

"It flies out the window when we compete."

"Well, jump out the window and bring it back."

"You're such a--" I flicked my wrist, tossing the almond at him from across the table and he moved his head quick, mouth open as it entered. A cocky expression overtook his face as he leaned back in his chair.

"You were saying?" He asked when a few girls bypassed our table, bundled in coats and ready to leave the library on this late night. One girl, the same girl that had wrapped her arms around him at the BSA meeting on Tuesday night, came up to him, a gleam in her eyes. I took that as an invitation to put my earphones in my ears as I ate the last of the almonds. No music was playing.

Aven had to have noticed that she was interested. Especially when she suggested that they hang out. However, Aven started making excuses and each excuse made my eyebrows raise higher and higher as I discreetly watched the interaction, drawing random shapes on my laptop screen with my stylus pen.

The excuses could have been valid. Aven was a volleyball player and he was busy. That I understood. So when he said he couldn't hang out on Wednesday because he had an intense practice? I got it. When he said he couldn't hang out on Thursday because he was likely going to be sore? I glanced up. When he said the week after he was going to be busy finishing up projects with a skeptical tone in his voice? I stared at him because he was definitely pushing it.

Was he rejecting her? He was rejecting her. She knew it too, but she didn't seem to mind. Determination flashed in her eyes as she bid him goodbye, going back to her friends.

I waited a beat, taking the earphones out of my ears and erasing my doodles. "She was asking you out," I said lowly.

Aven sighed. "I know."

"And nothing?" This wasn't the issue where I was unknowingly pushing a guy I was attracted to towards another girl. Been there. Done that. This was the case where I genuinely curious.

He shrugged. "And nothing."

"But she's pretty."

"She is."

"And she seems nice."

"She is nice."

"And nothing. What? Why?"

Behind him, I spot a mop of blonde hair making its way past the bookshelves in our direction. Laurence approached us, nursing an iced coffee in his cold red hands as he dabbed up Aven. "Hey, Jaime. What are we talking about?"

Aven lifted his chin in the direction of the woman who was currently walking away. Laurence's eyes went comically wide and he reached forward, shaking Aven's bicep so hard his glasses were slipping down the bridge of his nose. "No fucking way. Did she do it?"

"Yeah, she asked me out." He muttered. This was premeditated?

"And what did you say?"

"I said no."

Laurence groaned, leaning back in his chair as if this was an expected answer. "Bro, you don't have to go out with her. You know it's the twenty-first century, right? You're allowed to have a nice time with a girl. You're allowed to have sex with a girl who would like to have sex with you."

"Yeah, but I'm busy," Aven mumbled, distracted as he typed on his laptop.

"Busy doing what?" Laurence exclaimed.

"I'm busy, man. Why are you so worked up? If you want to go out with her, go out with her."

Laurence looked flabbergasted. "Have you taken a celibacy vow?"

Aven snorted. "God, no. I have my thesis that's taking up my attention and we have a game coming up, I have two midterms and a 40% paper due next week. I'm not available for a while, so drop it, okay?" When Laurence doesn't press the subject matter any further, Aven took that moment to redirect the conversation to me. "Jaime plays the piano."

Laurence turned to me. "Wait, for real?"

"She's good."

"You haven't heard me play," I told Aven.

"She's good," Aven repeated, ignoring my glare.

Like he did with Kings 704, Laurence took the next few minutes giving me the rundown on his piano club. He gave me the information on all the events they do over the year and positions for me to sign up for when he added, "We have empty rooms with instruments in case you ever want to let out steam. I'm in there often when I get stressed. Swing by sometime. Oh, and we have a meeting on Monday if you aren't busy."

I wrack my brain for my plans on Monday. Busy day. Busy fucking life. "I'll be there."

He wagged a finger at me. "Forget being Aven's friend, we're friends now."

"She can't be friends with both of you?" Iman's voice carried as he walked towards our table and someone shushed him from a distance. He rolled his eyes, taking a seat on the other side of me. "Why am I being shushed? I heard Laurie when I got off the elevator. And why are you drinking an iced coffee? It's, like, -3 outside. And it's 10 pm, dude."

"I have shit to do tonight, I'm not sleeping and since when does weather dictate what you drink?" Laurence said. Iman opened his mouth, ready to argue but Laurence put a hand up. "Someone asked out our boy."

Iman's eyes narrowed at Aven. "What did you say?"

"He said no because he's stressed," Laurence answered.

"Then let the guy be. Aven's Aven. If he wants to get laid, he'll get laid," Iman ran a hand over his face while glancing at me. "People love an athlete."

He's not wrong. The second Aven and Iman respectively walked into the library and sat down, lingering eyes gravitated towards their figures anytime someone passed by our table, despite their muscular bodies being hidden underneath their jackets and sweaters, it was obvious that they played a sport.

Aven didn't comment on that, nudging Iman. "Ready for game day?"

The look Iman gives Aven tells me he doesn't have to prepare. "It's Easton University."

"What about them?" Laurence asked.

"It means we'll win," Iman assured him. "I have friends that play on the team."

"Isn't Easton in Toronto? How do you know people there?"

"I get around," Iman said. "They're the worst in the league. It should be an easy one."

"But you can't get cocky," Aven's voice levelled. "You get cocky? You fuck up."

"Aye, aye, captain," Iman saluted him before turning to me. "You should come to a game. We have another one next week that's a home game. Bring Yas and Mari. Make signs. I need cheerleaders."

"You might as well come. I think I'd feel better knowing that one of your neon hats is somewhere in the stands." Aven teased, wiggling his pencil between his index and middle finger, the motion giving the illusion that it was turning in a circle.

"Aw, am I your good luck charm, Aves?" I took one of the last few almonds from the package, tossing it towards him. The projection wasn't strong enough to reach his face but Aven caught it easily in his hand.

Of course I'm not his good luck charm. Between the first game I had gone to where I saw him for the first time to now, he's had numerous games that they won. But to know that he wanted me there had me giddy. Giddier when he spins the stylus in his hand around and I decided I hate when he does that because he looks damn good doing it. "Obviously."

Laurence and Iman continue their argument over the iced coffee once again when a foot nudges me under the table. My eyes dart up as I scribbled down a derivative to Aven who is already staring at me. "What?"

"When do we get to hear you play the piano?"

"We're studying."

Iman zoned in on our conversation, "Jaime let you guys know she plays piano? She's amazing. Show-stopping. A prodigy. Standing ovations and everything."

"Okay, relax," I told Iman, but this only enticed Aven further as he repeats his previous question.

"The rooms are available," Laurence interjected. "I have the keys."

It takes five minutes of grovelling and Iman stating that he'll watch out stuff when I'm being flanked by two giants as we make our way out of Lambton Library, into the dark cold of campus lit up by the lights. "Can't believe you're making me do this," I mumbled, adjusting my hat.

"I want to see the talent. Iman did call you a prodigy."

"Iman saw a video of me playing at a competition once. I'm not a prodigy." I assured him but he wasn't believing that for a second. Meanwhile, Laurence wasn't paying attention, earphone in his ears as Travis Scott blasted through his ears as he drank his iced coffee, a complete contrast as to what I assumed he would listen to.

I voiced it to Aven who nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Laurence has a diverse set of music."

"If I recommended him 'yeehaw and giddy up' do you think he'd listen?"

Aven shot me a look that has me laughing as we're heading down the hill. My entire body is wracked with giggles that somehow make me slip on nonexistent air. Instantly, Aven's reflexes work, the man latching onto my arm to prevent me from tumbling. He laughed this time. "Jheeze, Jaime."

Laurence doesn't even notice, the guy mumbling under his breath as he vibes to the music playing in his ears as he walks ahead of us. "I'm good. A little less graceful than you think I am."

"You're clumsy."

"I am not!" He was totally right. Literally, a few weeks ago I almost tumbled down this exact hill when I was running to the rec center.

When we reach Morris College, a building off the side of Edgar Hill, we walk into the warmth, making our way to a set of rooms in the known music hall with a huge auditorium. Laurence led us to the underground floor, pulling out keys and leading us to a room surrounded by another set of doors.

Aven asked Laurence where we were but the blonde-haired man only waved him off, turning to one door and unlocking it with a key from the set. The room behind that door was tiny. Having me, Aven, and Laurence didn't help but I wasn't paying attention to them. I was looking down at the Yakima brand piano pushed against the wall.

Laurence's words bypass my brain as he continues explaining something. Aven's gaze is burning into the side of my head as I take in the piano and take a seat at the stool. I lift up the covering, exposing the white and black keys.

It's been a few months. Yet to me, the magic of playing the instrument never really left especially when I was back in Port Yonge. But being here in Jasper Bay with a piano in front of me, made me feel at ease.

"Do you want me to grab you a song?" Laurence said, spinning the keys in his pocket. "Are you into the classics?"

"Nope," I said. "I have a few memorized but I don't want to play any of those. I usually start with an easy Disney song if I haven't played it in a while."

"Then play a Disney song," Aven suggested, leaning against the wall.

"Play Bare Necessities," Laurence suggested.

"From the Jungle Book? No, no, wait play that one song from Mulan."

"Mulan? Out of all Disney movies? Seriously?"

"It's a good movie," Aven retorted. "That Make A Man Out of You song."

"You're giving her the easiest music to play."

"You both gave me songs with easy versions," I pointed out. The two kept throwing songs my way. I decided to stick to the easy theme. I'd get more into harder music stored in my mind later.

The first song that I always warmed up with was I had played at a competition when I was 10. Tale As Old As Time from Beauty and the Beast. I had grown obsessed with the melody and annoyed the hell out of my parents and sister when I would play it in the living room where our piano resided.

My fingers glided along the keys. Moving past the middle C in either direction of the white keys, my left and right hands took the proper positions. There was no need for sheet music. I'd performed this a million times.

My physics midterm, biomethods, volunteering, work, and everything that could contribute to my Jaime stress scale left my thoughts. Not for a long time. Only a few minutes.

When my fingers push against the keys, the men behind me put a halt to their argument. And for the first time in a while, I played.