Chapter Forty: "You'd Be A Very Good Vampire."

"YOU ARE GOING to visit me before you leave for home, right?" Ms. Green asked me this question one Wednesday afternoon. Today, we were sitting outside on a bench. She had managed to sneak away from the group and pulled me outside to look at the light snowfall.

Like me, she was bundled up in her jacket. Unlike me, she had her head tilted up towards the sky, a relaxed expression on her face as if she was suntanning. In zero-degree weather.

"I will," I promised her, still eyeing her posture as a pleased smile crossed her face. Exams didn't start for a little over a month. Since we were heading into March, that meant I only had a few more weeks with her. I was going to miss her.

No matter how much she tried to rile me up, terribly play me in chess, or distract me from doing the volunteer work I was supposed to be doing, she somehow brought me back each time. I mentally pledged to come back in September if she was still here.

"And bring our handsome man with you."

Our. Her words made me laugh. She asked of him every time she saw me. "I'll try to see if he can come. He's been really busy lately."

We both were but he had a lot more on his plate with playoffs and the upcoming interview next week which took place days before our Spring reading week. Every time I saw him recently, he either had his head in the books or was watching old tapes.

"Oh, he'll find some way to come with you." Ms. Green shot me a wink.

A knock sounded from behind us, and we both turned to where Joe was standing by a window on the third floor of the building. He gave the two of us, moreso Ms. Green, a two-fingered wave with a smile. When he disappeared, I asked her, "You're still entertaining him?"

"He's a good time."

Immediately, I cringed. She let out a full-hearted laugh at the exact reaction she wanted. If she was my age and she heard that she would have had the same response. Ew. We were quiet for a few more moments before she spoke up again.

"You've been worried about me, haven't you?"

Turning to face her, I gazed over the etched lines on her face.  Seeing her more often than I thought only increased the simmering anxiety. I had walked into Sheppard Valley to add something to an application. I didn't think I'd get attached to another person when I got here and stayed partly because she made it worthwhile.

I cleared my throat, my thumbnail pressing against my mouth. "What makes you say that?"

"Don't," She scoffed. "Last week you almost had a heart attack because I forgot a step in that one activity."

"It wasn't a heart attack."

"How would you know?"

"Because I'm 19!" I exclaimed. "What am I doing that would induce a heart attack?"

"I don't know what you kids are up to these days."

"Yes, you do. You have me to tell you. I'm not doing anything that would cause me a heart attack."

"You are taking this way too far," She patted my knee. "I didn't say you had a heart attack. I said almost."

"Close enough," I muttered, crossing my arms.

"Are you like this with your friends or just me?"

"Just you."

"Because you have your own way of showing that you care about me?" I didn't have the chance to respond. I didn't need to when she already knew the answer. She reached over, taking one of my hands with both of her own. "I won't be here one day. The same way your grandfather was here one day and gone the next. You see him in me sometimes and that's okay, my Jaime."

"You're similar," I confessed. They didn't look anything alike. They didn't act anything alike either. Before my grandfather's Alzheimer's had progressed I'd have considered him to be a calm, smart, tall man whereas Ms. Green was small, witty and fiery. It was their presence. There was something about the both of them that made me want to speak to them every time, to hear what they had to say even if it was something I didn't want to hear.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No," I shook my head for good measure. "Never."

"Okay," She squeezed my hand, "I want you to do something for me. When I'm not here one day--"

No. "Don't say things like that."

She didn't falter from my negative tone, squeezing my hands once again, "Well, what? Do you want me to lie to you and say that I'll live forever like a vampire?"

"You'd be a very good vampire." I tried to joke but she was serious.

"Darling, have I ever lied to you?"

"No," I admitted. She was too honest for her own good. For my good.

"Have I ever tried to sugarcoat things to you like you were a child?"

"No." She always treated me as an adult. We were generations away from each other, sure, but she had never talked down to me.

"Then when I'm gone," I fought a wince. "I would like you to tell your kids or cousins, that adjacent family of yours, your friends or whoever you connect with you of me. Cleopatra Green."

"Your first name is not Cleopatra." It was Josephine. Josephine Green.

The first day I arrived to volunteer here, everyone's names were on a sheet. They were also on their name tags. However, she had the words "Ms. Green" on her name tag and her first name was never spoken of outside of the name sheet on the first day.

She shrugged. "My name is whatever I want it to be."

"What was it yesterday?"

"Mariah."

She looked prideful about that. Boastful, even. Ms. Green had years of living a life where although she didn't marry and had no kids, she had many loves, many travels and stories for ages that made her life live the life she wanted to live. And she was going to likely finish it here at Sheppard Valley as eccentric and blunt as she was on her own journeys.

"So when you describe me, Cleopatra Green as of today and who knows what else tomorrow, I want you to tell people I was--"

"Someone who didn't know how to play chess?" I suggested.

"I know how to play chess. I like playing it my way better. That's all."

We both chuckled. I would miss her chess games over the summer. Ms. Green had a good time here. She had a good time in her life. That fact made me say, "I think I would tell people that you were someone who was like my name. I think you encompass my name perfectly."

For a moment she didn't say anything. Her gaze was on the ground this time, her fingers holding her jacket together as if the buttons weren't doing a good job. Bracing herself as if she didn't want to explode with emotion. She didn't speak for a whole minute as she processed my words.

"And what does your beautiful name mean?" I think I heard her voice crack.

"Jaiyesimi kind of means someone who believes in enjoying life," I explained. "You do that. In the past, based on the stories you've told me. You didn't have to do traditional things to feel fulfilled. And even here. You enjoy your life no matter where you were, and you did what made you happy."

There were many things I admired about Ms. Green. But that was definitely one concept I wanted to learn for myself. Another motto to add to confront and conquer.

"That's what I would tell people about you when you're gone," I confessed. "That Josephine or Mariah or Cleopatra, whoever Green, was someone enjoyed life the way she wanted to and that I want to be like that. Like her in that same way."

She looked up at me. The old bat had no clue how much I adored her. "Oh."

"Yeah," We both looked up at the light snow falling from the sky. "Oh."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was never going to do something similar to bio methods ever again. This hasn't been a solidified thought of mine, then again I never really liked it. Not only because of Ashton but remember how boring it was to research for our big assignment as well.

I further confirmed it one Thursday afternoon when I was typing my latest assignment on my laptop with a movie in front of me in slight misery.

Yasmeen was sitting next to me and Larine on the solo sofa as we were half an hour into an action movie Larine had picked out. Mari was upstairs in her room trying to finish things up important things while we did light work here, but Yas and Larine's laptops were abandoned as they focused on the television.

I couldn't pay attention to the TV or the assignment in front of me. Instead, I pulled up requisites for honours physics on another tab. I'd been thinking more about my future since that day Mari and I found Yas crying but even more after the short conversation with Ms. Green.

Switching majors would be fine, I told myself, staring at the course codes and descriptions. Physics was my path. It always has been regardless of how many weird stares I got from others when I would explain a concept, a theory or how much I liked it. I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do in future but if it involved my favourite subject, I think I would happy.

By the time I had concluded that I would speak to Abisola about it tonight, my sight caught onto another tab I already had open. Dalhousie. I was almost done with my application and had planned to finish it tonight. Did I even want this knowing the chances of being in the physics department were slim?

I hate overthinking.

Gunshots sounded from the television and my attention bounced from course code to course code when suddenly my phone rang out with Aven's ringtone. A remix of Dust by Frank Ocean.

I answered the call without hesitation but that didn't stop me from looking at the time on my laptop. His interview was starting soon, wasn't it? He had arrived in BC last night and was going to stay there for most of the Spring reading week that would start next week.

When we spoke this morning, he was getting dressed for the day, ready to go. His sister's screams were in the background as she attempted to annoy her brother but he didn't mind. He was laughing for most of it. But when he spoke on the phone at this moment, it was a complete 180 from the energy he had this morning.

"Jay?"

I didn't like the way he said my name.

It wasn't hard to picture him in front of me. Aven wasn't one who was shaken easily. Even on the court, where he dominated, he never showed any sign of anxiousness, but all of his hard work had led to today. To the one interview with the school he wanted to get into. He had the grades, he had the LSAT score, and he had the extra-curriculars. But this was it.

No wonder he was so nervous. My heart sunk at the sound of my name alone leaving his lips. It dived and it squeezed ten times over before hitting the floor with a solid smack.

"Aven," I swiftly left the area, heading up to my room whilst ignoring my friends' stares. "Is everything okay?"

"Um," The laugh that leaves his lips was one filled with uncertainty. "No, not really."

"Did you talk to your mom?" I closed my door behind me. I climbed onto my bed and rolled onto my back. "Your dad?" 

"I talked to both. They tried to calm me down but um, I don't know. I'm still," He trailed off, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I really want to get in. I don't think I've ever been this nervous about anything in my entire life. And I went to nationals. Twice."

"On the Aven scale of nervousness, how nervous?" I asked.

"A 12."

Shit. "Baby."

"I know, I know," He took a deep breath. "I just—fuck, can I FaceTime you?"

Immediately, I hung up the call, switching to video chat to see him. Aven's golden brown skin seemed a little ashen. He was chewing on his bottom lip and his sight was up above the screen.

"Where are you?" I asked him, wishing I could take all the nerves he had within him and give it myself.

"Hallway. I think I have ten or so minutes. I feel like a ticking bomb every time I look at the clock," His focus went up again. I was assuming he was looking at the clock. "I feel like I'm about to fuck up everything."

"What do you usually think about when stuff like this happens?"

"This doesn't usually happen."

True. "Okay, um, want to try what I did when I was really nervous before a piano competition?"

Aven's eyes met my own. "What did you do?"

"I'd think of a night with my sister when I was a kid," I said, not helping the small smile that came to my face at the memory. "There was a time she was really busy during her undergrad and I was upset because I hadn't seen her for a while. She realized and dedicated a night to only me and her. She ordered things I liked and we watched danced to pop radio songs and watched movies together. It was one of my favourite nights ever."

Aven had stopped biting his lip, "What kind of things did she get for you?"

"Sushi. Tons of sushi. And Twizzlers." I laughed, knowing my love for the candy had been there for a long time. "We talked a lot that night too. I probably told her about all the drama in fourth grade. It was a great night. I thought about that before most concerts."

"And it worked?"

"It calmed me down. You should try it," I suggested. "It doesn't have to be the best memory. It can be a good one. Like, I don't know, tell me about your first volleyball game." 

"The first? Elementary school volleyball?"

"Mmhmm."

"The first game I ever played was during the first practice. We played a game after I got the gist of the rules. The whole team sucked."

"Even Ezekiel?"

Aven shook his head, a smile crossing his lips. "Nah, Zeki was good at every sport he played. The team sucked and he knew it. He knew I sucked too but..."

"But?" He had to fully remember it like it was yesterday.

"But after that game and after coach spoke to me, Ezekiel and I spent hours in his backyard," The corners of his lips started to rise. "The two of us hit the ball around until we had to go in for dinner. By the time I went in my forearms were red as hell."

"How'd you feel?"

"Good," His eyes went a little distant. "That was a really good day. If his mom didn't yell at us to go inside, we might have stayed out there for who knows how long. That was the moment I knew I was going to fall in love with it. Volleyball. I asked my mom to sign me up for house league when I got home."  

I loved the way he spoke about volleyball. It reminded me of how I felt with the piano. He took a deep assured breath, looking at his surroundings. The colour was back on his face. I grinned. "How do you feel now?"

"Better," He shot me a grateful smile. "Thank you." When a voice in the distance said something I couldn't decipher. "It's time."

"If there's anyone who can prove themselves in a room, it's definitely you," I told him and he flashed me a heart-stopping smile. "Good luck."

After we said our goodbyes, I made my way downstairs to find Mariam sitting where Yasmeen had once been. Larine perked up as Mariam lowered the volume of the movie. "Where's Yasmeen?" I asked.

"She went upstairs to pray," Larine mentioned. "Is Aven okay?"

"I think so," I said sitting down next to Mariam. "He's in there right now."

"He's going to blow them away," Mariam said.  "Like you're going to blow that application to that research thingy away."

Larine let out a small whoop in agreement. I grinned at them when Mari asked, "Are you almost done with the application?"

"Almost," I said, "I'm going to send it to Josiah to look it over later."

I shivered at the idea of working in a chemistry lab. Or a microbiology lab. Working with Ashton and the two Tweeledees reminded me that biology itself wasn't something that intrigued me as much as I thought it did at the beginning of the year. If I had to work in biology-focused research I wasn't going to be happy. I wasn't going to enjoy that.

So my attention didn't go to the application. Instead, I continued looking at course codes as the movie went on.

Five minutes later, I could hear the sounds of people fighting on my screen. Six minutes later, I glanced at the clock, knowing that Aven was likely going to be in that interview room for a long time. Seven minutes later, Mariam's head was slumped against my shoulder but she was as intrigued by the movie as Larine was from where she sitting. And eight minutes later, I sent an email out to a HU science counsellor.