I couldn't understand why Grandpa brought me an option to live even further away from here since everything he had done since I came to Italy was to make me go back to the States or at least, back to Raffa.

And since I told him that I was carrying Raffa's child, he kept advocating for Raffa almost every day.

Then why did he come with Lucia Capozzi here? And most importantly, does he know about her proposition?

I have to admit it is tempting. I would be back in the States, have my baby, and then I could start practicing what've studied, for real this time.

And most importantly, my child and I would live far from Sicily, from the rivalry and backstabbing and killing and the forever looking over our shoulders.

Now, don't think I'm stupid, Papa would never accept that I live anywhere on earth without guards, but at least it is not Sicily, an open-air golden cage from us, the women of the Mafia.

If you think these questions in my mind have taken the entire night away from me, well, you are wrong.

It felt like seconds before my brain simply shut down and any thoughts, good or bad, were completely isolated from the comfort of my sleep.

Lately, I'm capable of sleeping even standing, if you can imagine. My sweet bun of joy growing in my womb needs rest and good food. And that's what I'm doing.

Especially tonight since tomorrow we have that silly reception to attend. Papa says it is important, mainly for me. His eyes sparkled when he said that, and I had no doubts it was about Raffa.

He is going to be there, I'm sure of it.

I miss him...

I miss him like there is no tomorrow and my heart jolts with gratitude and excitement just at the thought of being with him in the same room.

Grandpa Lucas will surely not like my departure to the States and I guess Papa will also disagree.

How do I manage to always do the very exact most unpopular thing? It's like a new world against me gets birth each time I have important decisions to make for myself.

And yet, I always take those decisions and this time it won't be any different. This time it's not only for myself, but for my child, and I would do anything for my child.

"Good morning, sweetheart. How did you sleep?" Aunt Feli cheerfully asks when I show up in the kitchen, rather closer to noon than the morning.

"Very good. I'm going to miss mornings with you," I say and hug her dearly.

When I was a child Aunt Feli looked like a tall, chubby woman, with a round face, always red cheeks, and strong arms grabbing me and lifting me to her chest. Now, I can hardly feel her in my arms curled around her neck in a long hug.

"I will miss you too, tesoro," she replies with a voice just about to soak in tears.

"I really love this morning," I hear Mama Eve saying when suddenly she shows up in the kitchen and invades our touching moment, pilling up on top of us with her own hug, and when you think this it, Papa stretches his manly, bulky arms around all three of us, squeezing us dearly.

"Yey, group hug!" he says and I feel so much joy in his tone that it makes me wonder if he finally starts to be proud me of or if it's just the heat of the moment.

"Oh, no. I need to make more breakfast. Why didn't you say you're coming?" Aunt Feli says worried that her omelet and fresh veggies and fruits will not be enough for all of us.

"Don't worry, sis. We won't stay long. We just wanted to see how was our princess this morning. And tell you that tonight you need to be ready for the reception. We'll pick you up..." Papa says while stealing food from the plates that Aunty is trying so much to save for breakfast, with not much success. Papa is double-height and twice faster.

"I also have something else to prepare for..." I mumble, building up the moment when I'll tell them about leaving tonight with Raffa's mother.

Two pairs of eyes land on me, gauging as if they expect a grenade to drop.

Well, I'm pretty sure it will be one.

"Prepare for what?" Papa asks with his mouth still filled with the food he has stolen and which remains unchewed.

"What?" Papa repeats becoming unsettled and somewhat nervous.

"Well, I'm moving back to the States."

"Excuse me? Back to the States?! The very States you have been struggling so much to leave behind?" Papa says.

"I don't get it. Why? How? Where is this coming from?" Mama Eve interferes and I, leisurely take a seat at the table and pretend that I haven't just dropped a bomb.

"I believe you should both take a seat and a bite and... will you stop taking everything as a tragedy?" Aunt Feli jumps in my defense.

"You better believe it's a fucking tragedy. We can't travel the world every time Mia feels to travel or move from one place to another," Papa continues being upset but taking a seat at the table anyway and accepting the bites his elder sister shoved into his mouth.

"Mia is moving back to the States and will live in California together with Lucia," Aunt Feli decides to rip off the bandage and make my job easier. "And I believe it's a very good decision, considering her childish stubbornness of constantly running away from the man she loves," she drops her own bomb, leaving us all mouth gapping and no words.

Well, she isn't wrong.

"Lucia! Lucia Capozzi?!" Papa shouts. "How? What the fuck happened here?!" he keeps yelling while fishing the phone out of his pocket and dialing a number.

"Tate, what the fuck did you do?!" he roars in the phone.

Mama Eve stands up from her seat and approaches me, curling her arms around my neck and sweetly kissing my temple.

"Lucia is a wonderful woman," she whispers, ignoring the commotion my father creates while yelling at Grandpa.

"It's the last place Raffa would think I am," I reply and pin my stare into her warm eyes, smiling back at me.

"Or anybody else, for that matter. Sweetie, I know this life isn't easy for you," she says, softly caressing the wild curls of my hair. "Sometimes I wonder if taking you from your mother was a good decision."

"I could never have a better mother," I cancel her worries and return her hug.

"I know," Papa still speaks on the phone, apparently calmer but still tense. "This is getting out of hand. You know Capozzi doesn't like his mother much. When he finds out, because he will find out, it won't be pretty."

"I know... and I know," I hear Grandpa saying while walking in and closing the call.

"You better have a fucking good explanation for this," Papa jumps from his seat, menacing walking toward Grandpa.

"Hold your fucking horses, Benito. I did nothing more but allow Lucia to meet Mia since she knows everything about her son and she can't get closer to him. Benito, I have known Lucia for a lifetime and you know she's a good woman!"

"I don't give a fuck on how good she is or she isn't, Tate! She's taking my daughter! She takes advantage of my daughter..."

"Enough! Enough everybody! I'm here! I'm not invisible, I'm not a dump and I'm not a child!" I shout in a highly-pitched voice making everybody freeze and snap their eyes on me.

"Spot on, sweetheart!" Aunty mumbles.

"But...Mia..."

"Papa, I'll go and that's it. I'm not doing it against you or anybody else. I'm doing it to myself. And Grandpa, don't worry. I will let Raffa know about his child in due time so he won't miss any day of his life... if this is what he's wishing for. Okay? Ha? Are we on the same page now?" I asked looking at each of their faces.

Well, the so many different emotions I could read in their eyes were at least amusing. Aunt Feli was smiling at me and wiggling her eyebrows, Mama Eve was a little bit more reserved with her smile but the approval was there, no doubt it.

Grandpa Lucas was not looking at me anymore but somewhere out on the window as if pulling himself out of the matter. He doesn't like it but can't oppose it.

Papa on another hand, had the saddest look I had ever seen on him. His perfect, black eyes were staring at me and hard battles were fought in his mind.

And he was the one I cared for the most.

I know Papa's history with the Capozzi family. Aunt Feli told me everything about it and right now, staring at each other, I wonder if Papa thinks that leaving with Lucia really is not a good decision or if he just can't reconnect with her due to the painful loss he suffered years back.

I walk up to Papa who follows my steps without blinking till I reach under his stare, smiling at him and having no bad feelings.

"Papa, I am so so sorry for the baby you lost when you were young. And I'm truly sorry for Vivi... and little Samantha," I tell him cupping his sharp jaws in my palms while the tears in his eyes break my heart.

"This is not the same thing. I'm not that young, reckless boy anymore. I can protect you."

"It is exactly the same thing, Papa. There's a Michelle Parma at every step of our lives. You do understand, right?"

"I don't. But I promised you my support. I'll be there, principessa. Always," he replies and wraps his arms around me in a heartwarming hug.

"That's so touching," Grandpa says insensitive to our moment, and walks closer to us. "We have a lot of preparations to do. I'll call Lucia and you, young lady, you need to get ready for the reception tonight," he continues then speaks to Papa. "We need to make the plan of taking Mia outhe t of there without Raffa knowing."

Three hours before we left for the event, stylists started to show up with the sole mission of making me look grandiose. I'm the daughter of Don Enzo, I'm supposed to look ravishing and us much I hated any fuss around me, I accepted that from Papa, as gratitude for standing by me in my decision. 

The location of the event was truly grandiose and when we showed up, everybody stopped what they were doing in expectation to greet us.

I didn't see Raffa anywhere although I was fervently searching for him in the sea of people inside. Honestly, I wished I was invisible and had the chance to freely watch him coming in, wearing his always sharp and rich attires, looking devastatingly handsome, like always.

But that is not possible and I guess I'll have to be happy with seeing him from far away, as Mama Eve is doing her best to keep in hidden in corners or outside, in the garden.

"Mia, let me introduce you to Giovanni," she says while we are in the said garden, surrounded by her lady friends.

A young man walks closer elegantly grabs the hand I've offered and plants a soft kiss on the back.

"A true honor, Miss Benito," he greets.

"Hello," I mumble with a shy smile.

My mind doesn't let go of Raffa, whom I'm praying to magically show up and save me from these introductions I have to do all night.

"Mrs. Benito, my mother was searching for you," the young man says and Mama Eve raises her eyebrows in a pleasant surprise looking over the shoulder of the young man and spotting his mother.

"Oh, there she is. I'll bring her here," she says and walks in, accompanied by her other friend and leaving me and Giovanni standing alone.

"The sight of you is so much greater than I've been told," young Giovanni tries a compliment and I shift my glare to the ground, internally yelling to be saved.

And saved I was when Raffa's large hands grabbed the sides of my thighs and his bitter cologne invaded my nostrils, making me whimper with longing and delight.

"Don't move!" he orders me roughly in my right ear and sharp breath escapes my lips.

I finally feel my entire world coming to a complete circle, having just me and him as a pole.

"Don Cap..." Giovanni mumbles.

"You! Fuck off!" Raffa hisses between clenched jaws and I can only imagine the deadly look in his eyes, as I'm too busy soaking my heart in the joy of having Raffa close, so close that I feel the heavy breath in his boosted chest touching my back.

Giovanni leaves in a blink and the hands of Raffa hold tighter on my waist.

"Raffa..." I try uselessly to protest against something that I'm so stupid to deny, his touch, his hold, the scent of his skin, the heat of his breath against my neck.

I can feel the tip of his nose touching the back of my head, ravishingly teasing my senses while I bend the head on the back to meet his closeness.

"Please Raffa..." I whisper, grabbing his hands with mine, trying to release myself from his hold but actually pressing them stronger in the flesh.

"No way, Mia. No fucking way. Not anymore. It has been too fucking long," he refuses my attempt at rejection and swiftly twists me to face him, my entire self crumbling when our eyes meet.

"Mia... tesoro, I'm not going to hurt you..." he speaks confused, staring into the depth of my eyes, reaching the most hidden corners of my brain, intoxicating my thoughts.

"Let my daughter go!" I hear Papa bellowing and he instantly pushes me behind his back holding me tight with his left arm while his right hand pulls his gun out gluing it to Papa's forehead.

"I'm not joking, Benito," Raffa warns.

"Raffa, please... put the gun down," I beg.

"Me either, Capozzi," Papa replies and shifts his eyes up where Raffa and I raise our glare and see a few snipers with guns ready to shoot, pointing their aim at Raffa's chest.

"I told you, only if Mia agrees, I have nothing against it," Papa gives the verdict once again, and with every word he speaks, Raffa's hold around me gets tighter, pressing me stronger to his back where I instantly take the freedom of laying my cheek on and sniff deeply his scent, preparing to leave him behind yet again but this time with doubts making my heart heavy.

"Mia?" Papa calls my name reaching a hand to me.

"Don't leave again..." Raffa begs in a metallic voice.

"I'm sorry, Raffa..." I reply and quickly push his arm away while lifting on my toes and planting a kiss on his neck, just below the earlobe where I know he'll remember it.

I jump quickly toward Papa who grabs my hand and pulls me after him, throwing one final look behind, one that I wished I didn't because it instantly made my heart hurt when I saw Raffa getting hit to the back of his head and crashing to on the garden's pavement.

I sharply yell his name and try to release myself from Papa's hold so I can run back to him. The memories of a year back with the man that I love laying on the ground, shot and lifeless freeze my brain to the only instinct it can recognize, run, and hold him. 

"Mia... Mia, he is fine. He is going to be fine, that strike to his head is nothing major. But if he is not unconscious, I can't help you anymore, sweetheart. He'll kill all of us. And if we don't leave now, you'll never be able to get out of Italy," Papa tries to reason when we are already in the car but I keep silent while tears fall down my cheeks and my heart bleeds harder than my will to disappear again.

And I completely understand Papa. He is right. Conscious, Raffa can be deadly, without thinking twice. And maybe the resolution to this entire situation is more adequate when there is less bad blood between... everybody.

Then why does everything feel wrong?

~~~~~
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