Chapter 15

I punch a locker so hard that I leave a dent in it. I felt backstabbed. I felt betrayed. Adonis doesn't even react at first. He's so shocked that I'm in the room. It makes me wonder just how many times he and Thorn had been going behind my back having these conversations without me knowing.

And this whole time I'd been in the dark. Completely clueless.

"Shit..." is all Adonis can say.

"Shit?" I ask, "Shit?"

I'm so angry at that moment. Adonis attempts to step towards me. He grabs me, "Baby I can try to explain."

"Get your hands off me!" I bark.

I'm so pissed that I push him. I don't push him to hurt him. He barely budges but Adonis stands there looking hurt by what I've done none-the-less.

"Maybe you should give him some time," Thorn interrupts.

I'm a little irritated by both of them, "You allowed me to fall for a guy knowing damn well he was setting me up the whole time."

"This was all his fault," Thorn responds.

Adonis glares over at Thorn. He is shocked, "Really? You going to put this all on me."

"After I was embarrassed it was Adonis who approached me. He helped me fake my death. He helped recreate me because he felt so bad. It was all his money. All his influence. "
Thorn is wasting no time to throw Adonis under the bus and I think we are both aware of how weird it is. It's almost as though he's been waiting to do it.

"This is how you talk to my boyfriend about me?" Adonis asks Thorn, "I MADE you."

"Made. Funny term. That's what they all do, Yogi," Thorn states, "It's the reason I didn't stop Candice from going rogue. None of them are better than the other. Tell me you don't realize that by now?"

Thorn looks at me. He had a point. They were all bad. All of them...including Adonis.

He was nothing more than a puppeteer.

I'm quiet. I don't know how to respond.

"It started out as a plot for revenge, but my feelings for you are real," Adonis tells me.

"They create these dolls and then they pull the strings," Thorn explains to me, "You can't trust any of them. They are willing to pour thousands into the art of being perfect. More than thousands. And now you know, Yogi. Now you really see that for yourself."

Thorn has an anger to his tone but I don't see anything that he is saying as being wrong. He's completely right and I'm not angry at him. He was a victim of all of this. He was a victim in the same way that I was a victim. Adonis had always been handsome. He had always been rich. He had always been a doll even before the Book Of Efficacy. He was the benefactor. He was the dollmaker.

Adonis gives me a look, "Ignore him. You know us. You know me and you. It was real. All of it."

The balance between what was real and what was plastic all seemed so blurred right about now.

"He always had a crush on you, always," Thorn states, "He admitted it himself. So why not ever approach you? You know why? Because you weren't good enough for him. Society didn't accept you so he didn't as well. He had to turn you into a doll just so you can even be worth his time in the eyes of others. The plan was always for the two of you to be Lionsdale's premier gay couple that stole all the spotlight and you've succeeded."

Fuck. It hurts.

I look over at Adonis, "Is it true?"

Adonis is quiet. His silence speaks volumes.

"IS IT TRUE?" I repeat.

More silence. More nothing.

I can't do it anymore. I turn. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I had to turn. I had to turn away from him once and for all. I just had to.

~

We are still stuck in the school and what's worse is the fact that I'm not talking to Adonis. I sit on the other side of the floor at that moment. My mind is going a thousand miles per minute. I turn at that moment and I see Adonis. He's staring from where we were sleeping earlier. He's not saying a word. He's giving me my space, but that doesn't save him from staring at my face like I have a bullseye on it.

I can see in his eyes that he's hurting. I can see in his eyes that he has regret. But that doesn't make any of the lies and the fraud shit better.

"You guys had a fight?"

It's the last person I want to see at that moment. Micah. He's standing there and approaches me on the bleachers. He tries to offer me one of the cold sandwiches the teachers are handing out to try to keep us calm. I refuse it. I definitely lost all my appetite at this point.

"It's none of your business, brah..."

"I'm not your brah, I'm your cousin," he corrects me before adding, "And it is my business. Adonis and I are best friends."

"You used to be best friends," I respond quickly.

I don't understand why Micah is here. I don't understand why he's around me. I'm not in the mood. I'm in the shittiest mood ever and he was here without really knowing what the hell was going on between us. All of a sudden Micah is trying to be involved in something that he had no business being involved in.

"I know you hate me, but I'm just trying to help right now," Micah explains, "I hate seeing my friend in a situation like this."

"All this about him, because he's like family. I'm actually your real family. Where was there ever a concern for me? You are the biggest piece of shit I've ever met in my life, Micah. And I mean that. I hate you worse than Serena. You've always treated me like shit."

"You don't get the kind of pressure my mother puts me through."

"You allowed your mother to dictate our relationship from the beginning."

"My mother didn't just dictate my relationships," he attempts to correct me again, "What about your mother?"

I sigh. It hurts him even bringing her up.

"Is that supposed to be some excuse?"

"It should just be an explanation. If your own mother can't control my mother's influence then what makes you think I can. I wish I was a better person. I wish I didn't disappoint you. I wish I wasn't a follower. Everyday. I didn't make myself like this though. It was something that I was raised with every day in my life."

I want to feel bad for Micah. I really do. He was a product of his environment. I wanted to feel bad for him because of it. I wanted to relate.

At the end of the day though, I just couldn't.

"What is it that you want Micah?" I ask.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly.

My cousin sighs a little bit. He looks over at me and just shrugs, "Serena sent me. She wants me to make friends with you. She wants dirt on Candice to use against her."

I'm not as shocked that Serena was doing this as I was that Micah was actually letting me know the real reason that he was standing in my face right now.

"Why did you tell me that?" he asks me.

"Because my sister is dead wrong. Candice doesn't need to be exposed. Everyone does..."

What was he getting at? Micah was looking at me like he had something deep on his mind.

"What are you saying?"

"I don't know much about you but I do remember you telling me you had a journal. Maybe it's about time that everyone is exposed. All the lies. All the drama. Who else knows everything we all went through more than you?"

Micah crosses his arms. He's covering himself in his blanket.

"I do have dirt," I admit, "But what happens if I expose it. Both dollhouses will be left exposed. Everyone will know how we became who we became. They'd know about the Book of Efficacy."

The thought that he was presenting sent shivers down his own spine. I can literally see Micah shake. A lot of secrets had been exposed in this takeover of Candice and the new Dollhouse. One thing that had not been exposed were our secrets. Neither party had come close to being desperate enough to release something like this.

Micah sighs, "Candice and my sister are both one in the same person. I see no difference. They both think they are Patience Crane. They are both trying to embody something they aren't. Maybe it's time someone really told the truth. No more hiding."

I look at Micah.

He had a point. It was scary. It was desperate as hell, but it was still a point.

"I have an idea..."

~
It's pretty dark when I corner Marisol. She's off to the side at that moment. In the distance, I can see not only Adonis looking my way but surprisingly Thorn. It just feels like everyone is watching me for some reason. Maybe people knew I was up to something. I wasn't sure.

"I need to talk to you," I tell Marisol.

"I've been doing pretty good. How have you been?" she asks.

"Is there tension in the air?" Marisol asks, "The energy around here is all wrong."

I know what she's talking about. From Adonis not speaking to Micah, to me not speaking to Adonis, to Thorn not speaking to anyone it seemed like the energy was definitely off. The only person I intimately knew who wasn't skipping a beat in any of this was Candice. She was laughing with Kordell over something or another. I'm not even sure at this point what they were going for.

"I'm going to have a sit down with Candice and Serena."

Marisol looks at me like I have two heads.

"You're joking."

"No. I need your support. I can't do it alone and you're the only one I feel like truly understands how far this thing is really going. It needs to stop."

Marisol pauses. We didn't have a good start but she had to remember how bad things were when she was getting tortured by Serena and her people. Now Candice was doing the torturing. Something had to change in this school.

"Even if I agreed with you, which I'm not saying I do...I can't go against Candice. She'd...destroy me..." Marisol states.

She wasn't joking. I can see it in her eyes. She really believed it.

"I want to expose her. I'm going to plan on releasing my journal. It details everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything..."

Marisol looks scared. She looks beyond scared. Her face goes white, "I don't want no parts of this. You leak that and people will HATE us."

All that mattered to everyone was how they were perceived.

"Marisol, we need to make a stand. Please."

"I can't..."

"Marisol..."

"How are you guys doing?" someone interrupts.

I turn at that moment and notice that Thorn has joined Marisol and I. It's clear what he's doing. He's interrupting us. He wants to stop us from having this conversation and it's clear as hell why he's doing it.

"Sorry..." Marisol states clearly freaking out, "I can't help you."

With that Marisol turns and walks away. As soon as she walks away, Thorn is looking at me with this suspicious look on his face.

"What can't she help you with?" he asks as though any of this is his business.

I'm tired of lying.

"I'm going to call for a truce. Put Candice and Serena in the same room."

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"To resolve things."

I think this would click to Thorn but it just seems to make him angry. His breathing gets deeper out of nowhere. It gets real deep and he just exhales deeply.

"Yogi, don't be an idiot. Let them tear each other apart."

"And tear everyone else apart while they're at it," I correct him, "What happens when Serena is done. Candice will set her eyes on someone else. That's what she does now. Which one of these kids is going to be the next Fat Matt?"

I would think this would make sense to him. I would think that Thorn would look at the bigger picture. Looking in his eyes I can tell almost immediately that I'm wrong with that assumption.

"As long as Serena is gone once and for all."

He damn near spits the words. He sounds so goddam bitter.

"This was always about your anger with Serena. This was always about getting back at her specifically, wasn't it? That's why you agreed to help. Deep in your mind, you want her out of the picture even if you can't admit it to yourself."

"We're not on different teams, Yogi," Thorn states, "We can worry about Candice after Serena is gone."

"We are on different pages. I want to make peace and you want revenge."

"You can't make peace with these girls."

"Watch me."

"YOGI!"

Thorn is desperate to stop me but there was no way that I was going to let this happen. No way in hell. I walk up to both Candice and Serena. The weird thing is they aren't even laying far away from each other.

"I need to talk to the both of you. Now."

~

I'm in a room. On one side of the room is Serena. The larger than life persona she once had is now a persona of complete bitterness. She's angry and I can see it all on her face. Right now she is a viper ready to strike especially when she's sat across from Candice who has a big smile on her face. She's so pompous that she's even getting underneath my skin at this point. Kordell has literally walked into the room with her as though he's some sort of bodyguard.

"Can we have some privacy?" I ask Kordell.

Kordell ignores me and looks at Candice, "You really want to do this?"

"If you are threatened I can completely understand," I add out of nowhere for extra measure.

Candice laughs at the thought, "Kordell stand outside to make sure we aren't disturbed."

Kordell, like the loyal lapdog he is for Candice, does just that. He walks outside the room to stand guard. The tension gets even higher when he leaves. The intimacy is making all of this so fucking harsh.

"What's this about?" Serena asks, "The last thing I want to do is be in a room with trash."

"If I'm trash sweetie, I'm trash that's still in the house," she responds, "You and your rapist friend are trash who has been thrown out on the street and ravaged by stray dogs."

"Stray dog like your boyfriend?"

"At least I have a man," Candice snaps back.

"A man that clearly has his eyes out for other men."

They are going back and forth and before I know it hands are waving around. It's clear they've been holding back a lot for each other. They hadn't even been in the room for five minutes and they were already going at each other. At this point, I kept thinking in my mind that something had to fold.

Something.

"If you guys don't stop I'm going to reveal everything," I state.

I lay it all out almost immediately and when I do both girls get quiet.

"Come again?" Serena asks me.

"I'm going to reveal everything that I've written about my experience turning into a Doll," I explain.

Candice crosses her legs. Looking at her reaction was interesting to say the least. The last thing she expected me to do was pull her in a room and basically threaten her. Shit had changed though. Now, more than ever things had to change. Now more than ever I had to make a stand. I can see her eyes looking at me. If we ever had a friendship that was gone completely at this moment. I had drawn my line in the sand.

"I thought you were boy crazy," Candice explains to me, "I figured sooner or later you'd come to your senses and realize that it's out with the old and in with the new.

"It has nothing to do with a boy. I don't want to do this. That's why I'm here warning all of you. Back down. Make peace and let's all coexist."

I was tired of the shadiness. I was tired of them interfering in my life. I was ready to make a new start.

"Reveal it," Serena laughs, "It has nothing to do with me. You don't know any of my story. Whatever transformation you went to is going to affect them, not me."

"Oh, I don't know your secrets?" I ask, "Are you sure about that? Sis..."

Serena shuts up. Almost immediately. What would people think if they knew about her so-called pedigree and the drama that had went on in our family before this?

"No one will believe you," Candice states out of nowhere.

"Actually someone will," someone interrupts us.

The door opens which lets me know that people were listening to our conversation from outside the door. I'm surprised when the room fills with people. I turn to the door and notice Richard and Marisol come in first. I'm surprised when they are followed by Ivy, Micah and Adonis. They were all together for some reason. All of them were in this room and all of them seemed to be knowing exactly what I was talking about in this meeting.

"I tried to stop them," Kordell states.

He stands next to his girlfriend with an angry look on his face. It's clear he didn't try hard enough because the others were here as well.

"What's going on here?" Candice asks.

She's confused but then again so am I.

It's Marisol who puts her hands on my shoulder to explain, "Yogi is right. Candice, you are way out of control."

"And so are you, Serena," Micah adds in.

Candice looks at her friends. I can tell she's trying to put on a tough exterior but she's hurt. Her friends were taking my side. They had seen her for who she really is and it was glorious to have her put in her place finally. I was relishing the moment, disregarding the fact that Adonis was in this room. This wasn't about me and Adonis. This wasn't just about Candice and Serena. This was about all of us.

We were all out of control and we all needed to be stopped.

We all needed to be humbled.

"I run this school," Candice states.

"Not anymore," Marisol states, "If you don't do exactly what Yogi says, I'm going to publish his entire journal as a special edition of the yearbook. And if you think no one will believe him, we can add in extra excerpts from the rest of us..."

"I have photo evidence of the surgeries," Adonis adds in, "I wonder what people will think when they see you all cut up on an operating table."

"You wouldn't..." Candice states.

Candice isn't letting it go. I can see it in her eyes. She still feels like she is leading a group of people who no longer wanted to follow her. Even Kordell has taken a few steps away from Candice. At this point she's alone. And looking at her I know that only one person could really understand Candice's fall from grace.

That person was her counterpart: Serena.

"They would, idiot," Serena adds out of nowhere shaking her head, "It's clear you aren't in control anymore. Neither am I. He's in charge now."

Serena looks at me. She's not the only one. They all look at me. The old dollhouse and the new dollhouse. Some look defeated. Some look hopeful. Some look worried. Some look mad. But regardless of the emotions that everyone had in this room right now it was clear they were listening to reason and that was more than I can ask out of any of this.

Richard looks over at me, "So what do we do? How do we fix all of this Yogi?"

I pause. It's so much pressure. It's a ridiculous amount of pressure. How do I control a room full of beautiful people with egos out of this world in hope of living in peace?

"We compromise," I state, "We write our own rules of efficacy. Rules of behavior that we all can agree on moving forward. Rules of respect that we should all agree on. We don't leave this room until we come up with those rules."

There is quiet. It's really quiet.

"Does everyone agree to that?" Marisol asks.

Micah is the first to nod. Soon after Ivy nods. After Ivy nods, Richard and Adonis agree to it. Then Kordell. Then Serena. Reluctantly Candice stares at me with all this anger in her eyes but after a few seconds that anger. I stare back. It's a stare that lets her know that if she doesn't follow these rules and agree to this, I was going to destroy her. And it was clear this time I had the backup. People were sick of her shit and this was their time to show it.

"Agreed," Candice states.

I pull out a piece of paper. We go one at a time coming up with rules. No plotting. No backstabbing. No spreading false rumors. No bullying...

It goes on and on. Rules that we can live by. Rules that can change all of our high school experience and make us all better in the future.

It was a peace treaty.

"I'll be the first to sign it," I state.

It's Adonis who walks over and he hands me a pen. I look down at the paper. Right when I'm about to sign it though I hear the door open. I look over and see that Thorn is standing there.

"Thorn?" Candice asks.

She is confused as we are because Thorn looks out of it. It looks like he's on something when he walks into the room. He clearly is disgruntled. He seems to know that we are in this room making up by the look on his face. Knowing Thorn I knew he wasn't going to have it. He wasn't going to have any of this.

"This is not going down," he states, "I refuse to sit around and let none of these people be punished for their actions. Have you all forgotten what you've done before? Let me remind you. I'm Fat Matt, remember? Oh look at you all. Some of you barely even remember that part."

Serena's eyes get wide when she realizes who Thorn was. She looks afraid. Thorn was aggressively moving through the room, but there seemed to be more emotion in this than anything. I feel bad for him. Out of nowhere, tears are falling from his eyes. The room gets quiet.
"Matt?" Micah asks.

"How many people have the dollhouse tortured? New dollhouse and old. You beautiful people who parade around the world feeling like anyone who doesn't look like you is below you. You feel like your facial features give you the right to treat everyone else like shit. And the world allows it. The world praises you for brains that you don't have, the talent that you don't have and personalities that you don't have because you are beautiful. How many times did I have to hold my tongue when one beautiful person gets praises because everyone wants to fuck them?"

He's drunk. Or high. Maybe both. Maybe he had a stash somewhere hidden in the school. Or maybe he's just emotional to the point that he is slurring his words and not thinking straight. I feel so bad for him. Tears are rolling down my eyes because I can feel his pain. I can imagine his pain.

He comes over to me. He is pointing his finger in my chest.

"I'm trying to fix this," I tell him, "I am trying to fix it for the future."

"You can't fix it. The fix is already in...FOR THEM. I thought you were different Yogi, but I was wrong. You're just a doll, just like the rest of them. And now you put them together to mend things so you can all be one, beautiful group with a superiority complex. FUCK THAT!"

He tries to grab for the rules. I pull them away. Thorn grabs me by my shoulder. It's Adonis who pushes him away from me offering a threatening, "Fall back!"

As soon as Adonis does that Thorn pulls something out of his jacket.

My world stops.

This isn't happening.

"None of you are leaving this room," Thorn tells us.

It's at that moment I see the real effects of bullying. Thorn is looking at the rest of us and he isn't Thorn. He isn't this beautiful doll who Adonis made. No. He is Fat Matt all over again. The same boy that was teased so bad people weren't surprised by the idea he killed himself.

And Fat Matt had a gun.

No one expects it to happen so fast. No one expects him to shoot. All we hear is a bang and before we can wrestle the gun out of Thorn's hands...someone dies.