What are those arses doing to Severus now? Oh lord, he needs me in there.

"Oi, bugger off!" I yell at James and Sirius. "Stop!"

I run up to James and attempt to pull him away while slinging cusses at him. People may think me to be mild mannered, and they couldn't be farther from the truth.

"I don't need your help, filthy mudblood!" Severus screams at the top of his lungs.

I stumble back. Did he really just say that? Did he really just call me a mudblood? Did he really just use such an offensive slur to describe me, his best friend? Former best friend, I should say. This is the last straw, of many. If he thinks he can get away with this, he's insanely wrong. He already hangs around with those bloody arseholes that obviously hate me and think less of me because of me blood, and has showed, without much discretion might I add, his interest in learning the dark arts and following Voldemort.

As I snap back into reality, I notice that James has let Severus down and lowered his wand. Of course, right when I'd actually be fine with Severus getting a good cursing they let him go. Never mind, they're fighting him, muggle style. I realize that I'm nearly in tears. Before anyone can even attempt to comfort me I sprint back to the castle as fast as humanly possible, embarrassed and feeling more alone than ever.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As I sit alone in my room sobbing when I hear a knock on the door.

"Go away." I mumble through the tears.

"Lily, I know you're having a bit of a personal crisis, but I need my books." Oh, it's just Marlene.

She barges in and plops herself down on the bed next to me. I should've known that she was lying about needing to get her books. Classes are over for the day. I suppose that my despair has clouded my ability to think clearly.

"Come on Lils, you have to pick yourself up from this. That Severus Snape was no good, and it was only a matter of time before he finally showed his true colors. Even if you stayed friends all through your entire Hogwarts career, he would most definitely join the Death Eaters almost immediately after he got out of this place. I know you know that. You have been living in denial of that fact for as long as I've known you, and it stops here and now." Marlene only speaks the harsh truth, and on certain occasions it can be less than helpful. However, while those words are a bit brutal, they are what I need to hear.

I suddenly stop sobbing and stare at Marlene as she hurriedly dashes out the door. After a moment she returns.

"Hey, dinner is about to start. You could come down with me, show every single person in that goddamn room, especially Severus and his bastard death eater buddies, that you are strong and that Snivilus didn't really mean all that much to you either way. Or you could stay here and cry your eyes out and have everyone secretly think that you are weak and can't handle your emotions. Your choice." Marlene, once again, doesn't sugarcoat the truth. If I don't go down there and act completely normal, as if nothing has happened in the course of the afternoon, my reputation amongst certain groups of being strong willed and unafraid to speak my mind will vanish. This single, albeit devastating event, could determine the rest of my experience at Hogwarts. It's now or never, and as I do most every time, I choose now. No use in waiting around, after all, I can't stay in here forever.

I hoist myself up and away from the comforting arms of my warm bed and head down to the Great Hall for supper. I honestly can't believe how many couples I see snogging in the halls. Well, at least they can distract me from the pain of losing an old friend. Or so I thought. When I see the couples it reminds me of Sev, not because we were ever romantically involved, but because I could tell over the last few years that he was interested. Not just interested. Yes, I realize that saying someone is nearly obsessed with me could be interpreted as praising ones self, but it isn't like that. He didn't go bonkers every time he saw me, but whenever I would announce it him that I had a date or that I was complimented he would be very standoffish for a few days, maybe a week if he was extremely jealous. Oh, and every time James would jokingly hit on me with one of his awful cheesy pick up lines, Sev would get defensive. Really defensive. I was baffled. It isn't as if James is actually interested, he's just being James. Your bullies aren't picking on you even though you're standing right there, an easy target, but you decide to pick a fight. Unbelievable. It's as if he thinks I can't take care of myself. That's obviously changed, and maybe in the long run it'll be for the better.

"Lily! Thank god I found you, I've been looking everywhere!" James pops up from seemingly out of nowhere. He and his little buddies do that quite often, come to think of it.

"Everywhere but my room?" I ask in a snarky manner.

"Well, I thought about it, but I figured that if you were there you would snap at me if I so much as dared to knock." James loves to kid around like that. I think it's his way of trying to cheer me up, and it's sort of working.

"You predicted correctly." I say, smirking.

"Good to see your feeling alright. Would you maybe-" James begins an offer, but is cut off by Severus grabbing my arm.

"Lils, can I talk to you?" Sev pleads with me. I can see the panic in his eyes.

"You have five minutes." I state clearly. I swear, if this conversation goes a single second over five minutes, I'm just going to leave. I honestly don't think I could stand being with him for that long, I might end up bursting into tears for the second time today.

Sev leads me into an empty room. "Look Lils, I'm so so sorry about what I said. You know I didn't mean it." He tries to patch things up, as if an apology will make everything just peachy.

"It doesn't matter whether you meant what you said or not, it was unacceptable." I avert my eyes as I speak, for fear of tears.

"Look, can't we just try to forget this? It was just a word!" Sev pleads.

"A highly offensive slur that you used against me in front of multiple people! Do you truly think that this is solely about that? I know exactly why you called me a mudblood. To show your fellow soon to be Death Eater friends that you don't care for some mudblood girl that you were friends with when you were little." I gather up the courage to look him straight in the eyes, hoping to intimidate him.

"Don't call yourself that!" Sev yells, surprised by my use of the word mudblood.

"Why not? You seemed perfectly fine with it earlier." I retort.

"Because it's one thing if someone calls you that, but if you say yourself that you are-" I cut him off as he tries to explain.

"Trust me, it hurts much more when a close friend calls you a mudblood. At least from where I'm standing." I saunter away, hoping that I didn't sound as heartbroken as I feel.