(Trigger warning: substance abuse)

BEAU

I hate hospitals.

The sickly white walls glare at me as the hazardous smell of cleaning products stings my nostrils. And then there's the noise - the incessant beeping and whirring of the machines, the cries of loved ones lining the hallways, the mundane chatter of the nurses at their station.

I hate being here.

I scowl at Rey, her eyes still closed, as she lays in the hospital bed in front of me. Angry as I am for being here, I'm even more furious that Rey could be so stupid in the first place. I've done a lot of stupid shit, but never have I mixed drugs with my alcohol.

No, my subconscious reminds me, You just drank yourself into a stupor every other night, how much nicer.

I feel my face tighten in a deeper scowl.

Rey twitches but doesn't open her eyes. Where did she get the molly to begin with?

It would be easy enough to find some, and much harder to track down the guy who sold it to her. Still, I have the sinking suspicion that the drugs were leftover from her little rendezvous with Jace.

My fists clench against the denim of my jeans as all the ways I could beat Jace senseless run through my mind. He had no problem encouraging my bad habits before, so I guess I can't be surprised that he'd take something like Rey and her chance to make something of herself and destroy it.

The ER nurse returns, pulling the curtain from around Rey's bed.

"She should be up soon," She murmurs quietly, checking the machines at Rey's bedside. "This can happen when you mix the two together - the side effects are worsened."

I squint my eyes at her warning, wondering if she thinks I don't know that already. I look to Rey and then back to my feet, and I'm sure that if she doesn't already know who we are, she probably assumes we're just a couple of young kids on our way to a rave.

I don't respond, letting her leave quietly with her stupid clipboard and know-it-all tone.

The minutes tick by as I text Rocco to let him know that she should be okay. I send a second message to set a time to discuss what's happened. Stuff like this, it can't happen again.

Finally, when Rey wakes, her eyes are wide and disoriented. Pulling at the IV in her arm, her worried eyes find me and she calms instantly. Weird.

"Beau," Her voice cracks, raspier than normal.

I stare at her in frustration, wondering what I can say to make this all clear to her. So clear that she can't possibly make a mistake like this again.

Before I can find the words, she croaks again. "I'm sorry," Her head hangs in shame.

Part of me wants to tell her that she should be, but the other part is, admittedly, worried that Rey might have a problem, if left unchecked.

Struggling again to find the right words, I offer a half smile. "You're gonna be okay,"

I remember the night when it was me in the hospital bed, Emma by my side. How many times had I pushed her away? And yet, she always came back.

That's when it hits me: Emma. My eyes flash to the huge clock on the ER wall and my heart sinks.

No, no, no. I press my palms into my eyes. Fuck.

"Beau," Rey's voice is stronger this time as she places a clammy hand on my forearm.

I remove my hands from my eyes to see what she wants.

"You okay?"

I sigh, feeling an odd sense of finality within me. There's no way Emma will want to hear me out now, not after I stood her up.

"I was supposed to call Em, is all." Immediately, I see shame clouding Rey's eyes. The feeling I know all too well: knowing you ruined someone else's time with your shit. Quickly, I shake my head to calm her worries. "It's okay, Rey." I tell her, even though I'm absolutely sure that it's not. "I'll call her later, she'll understand."

Will she?

"I'm still sorry," She groans, moisture collecting in her eyes.

I ignore her tears for the time being, unsure how to deal with them. Instead, I focus on the frayed denim of my jeans as I formulate my thoughts. I never wanted any help so she probably won't, either.

"Rey, that was really stupid." I can't help myself, even though I know I never listened when I was in her shoes. "You scared me," I admit.

Scott had called - the panic in his voice enough for me to run back to the hotel to see what was wrong. Rey was on the bathroom floor, leaning her head against the side of the tub. Her breathing was shallow, head rolling from side to side. Scott, Cap and Rickie only watched in horror as I shifted Rey's weight to her side and placed a cool cloth on her forehead. I still can't believe that I had to tell them to call for an ambulance.

I demanded that I stay by her side in the hospital, not only because I wanted to rip her a new one when she finally came to. Her usually tan skin was pale and sticky with sweat, and looking down at her, I just didn't want her to be alone.

Scott returns from the cafeteria then, Rickie and Cap in tow. Immediately, Rey plasters a false smile on her face and reassures her guys that she's okay. I give her hand a squeeze before I depart, letting her know that we'll continue our conversation later.

I stalk the halls, searching for a quiet place to call Emma. Realizing the task is impossible, I reluctantly make my way outside, taking a seat at one of the wooden tables despite the drizzle coming from the darkening sky.

I wait for the video call to connect, expecting that it won't, and keep my phone propped under my denim jacket, safe from the rain.

When I actually hear the soft ping of the call being connected, I can't help the stupid smile on my face. Stupid, I realize, because Emma has never looked so unhappy as she does on my screen right now. Immediately, my face falls.

"I can explain,"

"I'm sure." She wears no expression on her face, but her eyes are sad. I wince knowing that I'm the reason why.

Placing my phone on the table, I pull my hair into a rubber band. "There was a situation with Rey and-"

She interrupts me then, which irritates me a little. "A situation with Rey? Ah yes, I hope it was very important, since it kept you from our conversation about whether or not our relationship is working."

My brows furrow. "It was important, actually." I snap, knowing she doesn't deserve it. I had every intention of explaining every detail to her, but her attitude made me frustrated. "But since I'm here now, tell me, Emma. What about our relationship is not working?" I know instantly that I should've just started with an apology - there are so many things that I'm failing at right now.

"Really?" Emma's voice is cold, eyes hard. "Well, for starters, now the entire world knows that it all started as a lie." Her long lashes flutter as she tips her chin up defiantly. "Everyone knows I lied."

I grind my teeth together. Right, that.

"Who'd you tell, Beau?" I notice something beneath her anger, then. Hurt, betrayal. Embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, Em. It slipped when I was arguing with Rey,"

Emma scoffs loudly.

I almost roll my eyes. "But she didn't tell anyone. I trust her." Emma's eyes glare at the word and I try not to rejoice in her jealousy.

"I guess it doesn't matter who leaked it." She sighs. For a second, I think she might not be so mad anymore. "What matters more to me is why you were talking about that with her?"

I begin to apologize but stop myself to make sure I say exactly what I mean to. "Look, I'm sorry I let it slip. It was an accident." I scrape at the black polish on my thumb nail, "But I'm not going to apologize for being friends with Rey. I know I should've told you that I couldn't call when I said I would, but I'm not sorry that I was there for her."

Emma's eyes widen but she nods, eerily calm despite the dirty look on her face.

"I'm sure she needed you and I'm proud that you were a good friend to Rey." The sincerity in her voice kills me. "That still doesn't mean I don't wish you'd been good to me."

I cringe and lean my head back so the tiny droplets land on my face. The hospital security guard at the front door is watching me intently, as is my own head of security a few yards off. All I want is for everyone to stop watching me mess up.

"I don't know what to say," I admit finally.

Emma gives me a half smirk but the humor doesn't reach those big, brown eyes. She forgot to wash her face before bed, I notice, missing the freckles under her makeup.

"Neither do I."

"I want to make it better," Please just tell me how.

"I don't know, Beau. The stuff online, whatever is going on between you and Rey." She shakes her head, blonde strands falling into her face.

"There isn't anything going on between Rey and me," I argue. "It was an emergency,"

Emma chuckles. "Oh, Beau. You might not notice it, but she certainly sees you as more than a friend."

"So?" I sound like a child. Dex wouldn't approve.

Emma shrugs, seeming defeated. "It's just hard."

What is she saying? That she's done with this, with me? 

"It's hard to know you're with Adam all day, too." It's not a productive comment and I know it's immature to even say, but fuck. This hasn't been easy on me, either.

She doesn't argue, even though I sort of wish she would. She just stares at me through the screen, full lips in a deep pout.

God, why do we have to be in different states?

"Do you think you can hang on a little longer? Boston isn't that far off." I hate that I sound like I'm begging. Fuck it, maybe I am - I didn't wait all those years to finally have her again, just to lose her over something stupid. "When we're together, we'll work this out. Things always make sense when we're together."

I notice her bottom lip quiver before a tear runs down her cheek. She stares off screen as I watch her, anxious for her reply.

After what feels like forever, she nods. "Okay, let's hold out until then."

Instantly, a weight is released from my chest. But I can't be fully confident - for the first time, it seems Emma might be losing faith in me. I can't let that happen.

I open my mouth to tell her I love her, but the crease between her brows and the guarded look in her eyes holds me back.

Coward, my subconscious mocks me.

Still, as we hang up, I realize what I have to do. Boston needs to be perfect, needs to show Emma that we can make this work.

And to do that, I can't have any distractions, can't leave anything to chance.

Scrolling through my call history, I click on the number Beck has been using to reach me.

It only rings once before Beck picks up.

"Beau? I didn't expect you to call."

My mood sinking lower and lower by the second, I speak quickly. "You wanted to talk, now talk."

There's a sigh on the other end. "Always so stubborn. I told you, I think it's best we meet in person."

Keeping the ugliness away from Emma is all that matters, I remind myself.

Meeting the intense stare of the hospital security once more, I let out a reluctant grunt. "Fine."

Thanks for reading!
Kind of a slower chapter. Is Rey headed down the same dark path as Beau?
Will Bemma make it to Boston?
Lastly... how do we feel about FINALLY meeting beck face to face?