Control freak. She thought I was a control freak. I glanced over at her. She had her seatbelt on and she was squirming with her fingers, observing the rain splatter onto the windshield. I wasn't discreet about staring at her - I was never discreet about anything.

Eden knew I was gazing at her, I could tell by the way her cheeks coloured that pretty rosy hue. Yet she refused to meet my gaze and it had me stumped. In the kitchen, she openly taunted me now she couldn't look me in the eye. And I had no idea what the fuck was up with her sudden eagerness to be professional.

When I first knocked on her door, I expected her to slam it in my face. But she didn't. She slid on a pair of purple rain boots and a coat before following me. At this point, I might as well just give up on trying to foretell her next move.

"Why did you join me?" I inquired. Conversations were never my thing, but Eden made it slightly less unpleasant. And I couldn't help but want to know what was going through her head.

Her response was smooth, dainty, like the voice of a child. I almost lost it amongst the sound of the rain. "You asked me to."

I didn't like that answer. She was clearly uncomfortable, yet she agreed to accompany me. If we took her back to California for the program, the other girls would use that to their advantage and step all over her. I definitely didn't like the thought of that.

We were in the parking lot of a diner, waiting for the bustle inside to die down. Twin Town Diner, to be correct. The same one Eden recommended when she decided to be Eden the tour guide. When I asked her to accompany me, I didn't where I was going. All I knew was that I needed to get her out of the B and B. I saw how flustered she was, and I wanted to know if she regretted kissing me.

I wasn't apprehensive, just didn't like the thought of her being uncomfortable around me. Taciturnity came again and my fingers yearned to reach for the box of cigarettes that were on the dashboard. Eden must've noticed my internal conflict because she stated, "I thought I warned you about the dangers of smoking."

Her voice took me back to the night of my arrival when we first met. Suppressing an eye-roll, I grumbled, "get in line, angel. You're not the first person to lecture me on it."

She really wasn't. It's why I wanted to yell at her the first time we met, before I actually looked at her. When it was just her voice I detected, all it reminded me was the people regularly pestering me to quit smoking, and I was sick of it.

Eden stared at the little box and inquired, "why do you smoke?"

It was such a simplistic inquisition. But the explanation was way too complicated. If she was really going to leave with us to California, then maybe I should just reveal it to her. It meant one less person baiting me constantly.

"What scares the shit out of you, Eden?" I challenged, tending back in my seat and groaning.

"The dark," she stammered in an abashed tone and I smirked to myself. The night light next to her bed suddenly made much more sense. I tried not to think of it because I still had so many questions about last night, why she was adamant that Evie be with her - and most importantly, why she didn't even remember begging me to stay.

"Now imagine being trapped in a small space in the dark." She quivered, scratching restlessly at her arm. Pure terror was in her eyes and I frowned. "But suddenly you have a flashlight that keeps the dark away. Would you give up that light if it means that you're going to be trapped in the dark again?" Her answer was clear in the anxious glimpse she tossed me.

I watched as she tucked her legs underneath her. How she did that in a seatbelt, I had no idea. Perhaps it was her small build. Her peaceful aura trickled into the frigid air between us, tranquillizing my urge to smoke slightly. "Is that why your emotions are trapped behind a stone wall?"

My brows lifted. "What?"

"Because I'm afraid of the dark, I don't go into dark places. Whatever you're afraid of, it's keeping you from feeling things," she described to me, fidgeting with the buttons on her coat.

"You're perceptive," I acknowledged, and she grinned adorably. "But not perceptive enough. As much as you may find it hard to believe, angel, I do feel things. After I experience them, I go back to being neutral. Haven't you noticed that you've made me smile a handful of times?"

Eden shifted slightly, losing the anxiety in her voice and posture. She was comfortable now, and I grinned internally. Undoubtedly, curiosity trumped anything else she was feeling. I needed to give Mary credit. She really knew that all her little sister needed was a tiny push in the right direction. "Well, yeah. But that's just smiling."

She gazed at me with those angelic eyes of hers, and I knew the universe would never even begin to grapple with what was buried in her greenish-brown eyes. The tenderness, the emotion was so fathomless in them - even though she barely knew me. She was so concerned about my dangerous smoking habit, even though she had her own problems, ones she wouldn't dare mention.

"If you knew what was constantly running through my mind, it wouldn't be just smiling anymore," I riposted, watching her brows wrinkle in concern. The only thing that could bring me absolute peace was hidden in that tiny box on the dashboard.

Her nose wriggled, and she reminded me of a kitten who was about to sneeze. But she didn't. She eyed me with a sagacious gaze. "Smoking won't bring you that nirvana you seek."

My jaw clenched. "You've never tried it," I grumbled in return, not approving that we were back on the subject of smoking. The mention of it made me crave the burn in my lungs even more. I reached for the box and was about to open it when Eden laid her hand on mine.

She opened my hand and lifted the cigarette box. I was about to snap at her when she swiftly ransacked in the pocket of her coat and set a box of peppermint gum in my hands. "It helps," she murmured, and I had to abstain from kissing her right at that moment. But I didn't, because it didn't take a genius to figure out that Eden was confused enough.

I had to remember that she wasn't like the girls I usually went for. If I hadn't dared her to kiss me, she wouldn't have. There was no way I could just make out with her and expect her to sleep with me. I was way out of my league here. Usually, I'd have fucked the girl by now and sent her on her way.

Yet, here was Eden handing me some of her favourite peppermint gum.

I popped three into my mouth and passed it back to her. The peppermint smell invaded my senses and pacified me in a way that smoking usually would. Eden tucked the cigarette box into her pocket and I knew she would dispose of it later. I couldn't find it in me to argue, not when she clenched her eyes and grinned at me.

Just as I was about to suggest that we go inside to get food, Eden blurted, "I have a crush on you."

My chewing ceased, and I nearly swallowed the glob of gum. For a second I remembered when I was nine and Dad used to tell us that gum was made from elephant snot. During that time, Charlie and I stayed away from it. Caleb still ate it. Clearly, Eden didn't believe me when I told her that.

I looked at Eden from the corner of my eye, doubtful of what to say. There was no way that I could've expected her to say that. She reminded me of a saying Caleb once used. Something about, say how you feel and risk fucking it all up - or say nothing and let everything fuck you up.

Everything was backwards. The guy was supposed to take the girl on a date first before kissing her, which was what made her like him. Nothing about what I did was rational, and she definitely shouldn't like me. I couldn't give her what she was looking for.

Girls have liked me before, but they were never this open about it. They were usually coy and swirled around their attraction to me. Flirting transpired, lots of it, and then we eventually fucked.

But she just launched it out there. Her words dangled in the air and I didn't know how to respond to them. I always knew how to respond to something, but I had to learn to get used to being surprised by Eden. She looked like she wanted to jump in the gutter.

Eden frowned, and her gaze drifted to the steering wheel. It was only when she bit her lip in apprehension that I realised she was nervous. I didn't like the frightened look in her eyes. "Say something. Anything. It'd be better than watching you have a stroke over there."

"A crush," I spoke around the wad of gum. "That's cute."

It really was. Eden made me feel like I was in middle school again. It was like we were just two kids on the playground - a time before I became fucked up. She let out the breath she was holding and said, "that was a suitable response." This sounded more like a business transaction than what it was supposed to be.

"Why me though?" It was the only thing running through my mind.

Eden shrugged subtly and beamed at me. "I can't exactly control it. The limbic brain invariably craves dopamine. It's also the part of the brain that get's addicted to drugs because of the high they bring. A crush is like a drug. It generates dopamine."

I chewed slowly, watching her ramble, and repressed the urge to chuckle. "So you're saying this is all science?" Trust her to turn a normal experience into an experiment.

"Exactly," she acknowledged. "Our limbic brains go after someone we find attractive. I like you because you're hot and my limbic brain thinks you have good sperm."

"Fuck," I swore. There was no way that we were actually having this conversation. When the fuck did sperm get involved? But I couldn't find it in me to stop her. Not when her eyes glowed with enthusiasm and her words came out hastened. I found myself hoping that she wouldn't take out gum, knowing that she'd stop.

Eden resumed, casting me another smile, "eventually my cortex will override my limbic brain and everything will go back to normal. But you don't have to worry, though. Research shows that a crush usually lasts for about four months and by then you'll be gone already."

"You researched it?" I questioned, and she nodded her head. Having a crush was normal, and she went to research it. "Why would you need to research it?" I tucked the car keys into my pocket and Eden kept quiet, eying me with a weird look in her hazel eyes. "You've never had a crush before?" I teased, not liking the apprehensive look gracing her features.

Eden bit her lip and stayed silent, turning her head away from me and looking at the diner, "it doesn't look so full anymore. We can go inside now." Thunder reverberated, and she jumped in her seat. The gum felt heavy in my mouth.

I narrowed my eyes at her, watching as she fidgeted nervously with her dainty fingers once she had finished unclipping her seatbelt, unable to meet my gaze. I was utterly confused. Surely she must have had some experience with someone - I mean, she definitely kissed like she had the experience. The thought of her learning how to kiss from someone else made my chest constrict. "Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

It was clear as day that Eden was inexperienced when it came to anything related to being social. She only hung around her family and stayed holed up inside if she wasn't with them. It was evident in the way she spoke, how she behaved. My question was intrusive, but when did I ever care about the way I came across to people?

She straightened her back and tucked a strand of hair behind her red ear. She was blushing. "Of course I have," Eden brushed off my question far too quickly to be considered normal and continued speaking. "I think I'll have some chicken nuggets. And you?"

Pulling my lip into my mouth as I concentrated on the red-faced girl, I stared at her so intensely that she visibly shuddered. "You're an innocent little angel." At my statement, her hazel eyes widened and her cheeks took on an even rosier hue, the heat slithering up her neck. She really was as pure as she looked. That should've deterred me, because what good would I bring to her?

If anything, I'd taint her.

"I'm starving," she giggled nervously and scratched at her forearm, still unable to look me in the eye.

"I don't understand though," I continued speaking as I climbed out of the car, feeling the rain hit me. She followed and frowned as she forgot to bring an umbrella. Her hair was getting drenched. "You're absolutely gorgeous." My words made her blush, and she looked away from me. No, I wasn't flirting. It was honesty. If Eden had attended my school, she would've had people wagging their tongues at her.

Stepping closer to her, I took off my beanie and placed it on her head, making sure that her hair was tucked into the coat too. "Thank you."

I smirked slightly at her nervousness and stepped closer, caging her small body between mine and the car. "You've never dated before." It wasn't a question, but rather a statement. She shivered when a cold gust of wind brushed past us.

Eden sighed sadly and gave in. She obviously wasn't fooling me. "Of course, I've never dated anyone. I didn't even have my first kiss until earlier today. I've always been a social outcast and then I was homeschooled, which made it worse so I have no experience in literally anything." She was rambling now. I had cornered her, wanted information, and I was getting it—although slightly more than I asked for.

Her lips were almost comically straight, but then it tilted upwards into a perfect curve. Pink infused itself into her cheeks and she let out an embarrassed laugh. With that, she waited for me to respond, to interpret what she had just said.

And then something weird as fuck happened.

For that split second, it was like everything stopped. The rain halted on its way down; the trees stopped swaying, the chatter of people and cars died down until there was only silence. It was normal for me, I'd lost count of how many times my mind would just shut down and demand there to be absolute nothingness.

But there wasn't nothingness. There was Eden.

For years I'd felt trapped in a dark abyss and then suddenly there was that glimmer of hope, a promise that I would get out. Eden, I'd yet to give her a reason to like me. I'd been nothing but cold, emotionless and demanding.

This girl met my asshole side first, and she wasn't even in the slightest bit dissuaded. In fact, she tried to help - no matter how small the act of giving me her peppermint gum was; it helped. She liked me. Painful memories from years ago resurfaced, but I slammed the door on it.

Those memories were the reason I was like this, the reason I was emotionally fucked up. And there was no way that I was going to let that swirl of intense darkness try to put out the flicker of light that was given to me - whether I deserved it or not. It'd been years since there'd been light inside of me and I wasn't going to give that up.

Eden was coming with us to California.

The muscles in my face felt unnatural as it forced themselves into a smile. I was grinning now and stopped her sudden nervous rambling at my muteness with a finger to her plump lips. She stopped speaking and looked up at me through long lashes. "You didn't have your first kiss until earlier today?"

Damn, I couldn't remember the last time I smiled so hard. Eden seemed to be surprised too because her mouth dropped open, no longer embarrassed but rather in awe. "Yeah," she replied softly.

I leaned down slightly, brushing my nose against her button one, feeling the rain trickle between us. Once again, I was grinning like an absolute idiot. It was one of those moments when I left my neutral zone and opted for a high. The feeling overwhelmed me. She flushed red again; causing my grin to widen to the extent that I thought my face was going to split in half. "So I was your first kiss, huh, angel?"

"Stop," she whined at my teasing and yelped as I tugged her arm, prompting her to follow me. I was headed towards the diner and Eden held on tight to my hand. Her hand felt minuscule in mine. "Where are you going?" The rain completely soaked us by now and I inwardly admonished myself. She was going to catch a cold because she was already out in the downpour earlier.

"To get my tour guide some chicken nuggets." I glimpsed at her. "Or does the little angel baby prefer milk and cookies?" My voice stayed flat, but I was teasing her, and luckily she caught that.

"Haha hilarious," she mumbled as we continued walking, the chilly breeze hitting me as the puddles splashed under my shoes. "I'm not a baby."

She might not have been a baby, but she was definitely an angel. And as we stepped into the diner, I forgot all about the box of cigarettes.