I felt the panic fabricating in the deep pits of my stomach as I watched Eden flounder out of the common room doors, Nolan hot on her heels. It was times like this that I was grateful that Nolan was as kind as he was. Without even knowing Eden fully, he worried about her well-being. I saw Ashley shake off the situation and went back to handing out cupcakes, grimacing when some people refused.

Caleb sauntered off after our argument, and I couldn't find it in me to care. Being back at this place, in this environment, brought on a surge of indignation. I didn't wanna fucking be a coach in the first place. Dad agreed to pay for my trip to London if I considered being a coach. He didn't even give me a chance to decide before he introduced me as one. And I hated when people made my decisions for me.

Charlie placed a hand on my arm and murmured, "you're allowed to smile, ya know."

Shrugging, I responded with, "I don't wanna be part of this and you fucking know it. That you guys are already making plans for me to stay permanently pisses me the fuck-"

"Calm down, Mr Personality," she buzzed and patted the arm she was holding. "Don't make me the villain here. If you don't wanna stay, then I'm not going to force you. You know that I only want what's best for you and if that best isn't with the LaCroix Fury - well, boohoo. Who gives a fuck?"

"Dad gives a fuck," I informed her and grimaced when watching the man in question converse with the new team. "He gives two fucks, actually." This wasn't a discussion I wanted to have again. All I wanted to do was check on Eden. The idea of her in any discomfort made me want to punch through a fucking wall. I was the reason she was here, so any discomfort she suffered would be my fault. "I need to find Eden."

I excused myself and shouldered past people, needing to get out of the room because it felt smothering. But then I felt another hand on my arm. Twisting around, I was met with the tender grin of Dad. There was concern etched into his features, but his smile cloaked it. He thought I was going to leave.

Before I could even blink, he hauled me into a hug and clapped me on my back. I returned the embrace stiffly, in a way that a robot would when you put it into an affectionate situation. "It's good to have you back, my boy."

Not wanting to get his hopes up, I merely answered, "it's good to be back, Dad." Some concern left his eyes. Gazing at him only reminded me of how he reacted to what happened two years ago. He must've been hoping I was here to fix things.

But I wasn't, not really. The thought of coaching a sport that caused me so much grief made me nauseated. As much as I loved soccer, I could never fully enjoy it - not when I was here and I could still see some disappointment in Dad's facial features. But I wasn't coming back, not for good, anyway. I was here to provide comfort for Eden. She was here because of me. When she left this place - so did I. I was headed back to school and I'd be able to play soccer without feeling like shit.

Seeing that I was in a predicament, Charlie beckoned Dad over and he left, flinging me another smile. I reminded myself to thank my sister, she always knew when I needed help and she always gave it without saying anything or me having to ask. She just knew.

I fled the room and didn't have to go far. At the end of the hallway stood Nolan and Eden. They were tending against the wall and staring forward in silence. The sight was nearly comical because of the height difference. Eden's head barely made it past his shoulder.

But nothing was amusing about that moment as I discerned the sadness in Eden's eyes, even from afar. It didn't take a mastermind to figure out what she was feeling. Or maybe I just knew her better than anyone else in that room. Ashley had planted that seed of doubt within her, and it was waiting for the right conditions to grow.

There was no way in fucking hell that I was going to permit anyone to water that seed. I stalked forward, my footsteps garnering their attention. Eden opened her mouth to say something, but I bent down and slammed my lips to hers, pressing my tongue to the seam of her lips. I warned myself to not get lost, but the proximity of Eden captivated my senses.

Her fragrance was drowning my thoughts, and I gripped her tighter, relishing how her small body folded into mine. Warmth spread through me and I became addicted to the peppermint flavour that lingered on her lips. I pulled away, pressing a last kiss to her nose, and she stared up at me with wide eyes.

A roseate pigment infused itself into her cheeks, glossing over the button nose I just kissed and to her neck. I elevated a hand to hold her nape, feeling the heated skin and chuckling because I knew why she was blushing - Nolan was still standing there.

He laughed inelegantly as Eden burrowed her face into my jacket and I sheathed my arms around her, shielding her completely from his view. Nolan coughed, "I feel like I just watched something I wasn't supposed to watch."

I glared at him over Eden's head, and he gagged on his laughter. "Fuck off, Bean."

"Nice bracelet," he ridiculed, pointing at the silver piece of jewellery on my wrist. It amazed me it even fit, considering how dainty Eden's wrist was. She turned her head imperceptibly to peep at him. That made his features melt. "I'll see you later, Eden."

Looking down at her, I asked in amusement, "did you just glare at him?" That could've been the only reason he just left like that.

She shook her head, still looking a little dazed. "No. I pleaded with my eyes for him to leave," there was a teasing lilt to her voice. "He was taunting you, and you're already in a foul mood. I didn't want him to worsen anything."

My heart sank. Being back here was monotonous. The spirit that came alive during my visit to London descended into utter oblivion. Happiness was a luxury I rarely awarded myself. I'd learnt from past mistakes that if I let myself be happy for too long, someone ended up being hurt. So how did I explain to her that I wasn't in a foul mood? How did I explain to this angel that this was just how I was?

And I wasn't even the one who needed comfort. It was her. I knew what she was thinking. She felt like she didn't belong - like she wasn't part of the team. Not wanting to continue the melancholic conversation, I questioned, "have you ever been ice-skating?"

~

Eden fastened the bow in the laces of her skates as I waited with a brutish smirk. I made my way over to the entrance of the rink before effortlessly drifting onto it. The entire rink was empty. Dad had a lot of friends in the sports business, and one of them was the manager of a hockey team that owned a rink. I snagged it for the evening. Eden watched me with a pout on her rosy lips and I chuckled.

"You make it look so easy!" she complained, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at me as the blades of my skates scratched on the ice. It was cold, but I barely felt it through my thick jacket and I hoped Eden wasn't feeling the effects of the ice. I doubted she did. She looked like she was ready to go snowboarding.

"Because it is," I countered. "Come on, angel! Just get on the ice," I called out to her as I slid backwards whilst she shouted something along the lines of me being a show-off. Without even having to try, a grin slipped onto my lips. It was like my brain knew who prompted the smile and just let it happen.

Eden gradually stood up with a wavering look on her face and waddled over to the entrance. She looked like a little penguin and I snorted at her, causing her to glare at me. "I am not getting on the ice if you're going to be an arse and laugh at me."

Grappling not to chuckle at her attempts at a sober appearance, I straightened up and answered, "alright. I'm sorry, I won't laugh at you. I promise." Frozen in place, she looked up at me, her hazel eyes sparkling in the light of the ice rink. I saw paradise in those eyes, eyes that tantalised impressions of forests and rain-kissed soil.

"Here goes nothing," she responded. Eden had barely skated towards me before she went sprawling backwards. She landed with her back on the ice, a loud screech coming from her lips as she toppled over.

"Eden!" I panicked and skidded towards her, angling slightly to look at the unmoving girl. Dread propelled me, operating like an unobtrusive hurricane. My stomach knotted continuously as I glimpsed down at her. She lay there with her greenish-brown eyes staring up at the ceiling, rosy lips parted in surprise at her fall. "You okay?"

"I'm going to cry," she whispered after a moment of silence, her eyes becoming watery. Her lashes were heavy with tears and winded me like a punch to the gut. I hated that sad look.

My eyes widened, "shit, baby, don't cry."

Eden pouted, still lying on the ice, "My clothes are wet. My feet hurt. My back hurts. We've been here for two hours, Christian. I'm never going to learn how to skate. I give up."

Seeing that she was fine enough to complain, the panic sank until it vanished completely. Another deep chuckle left me as I propped her up in my arms. "You said that the last twelve times you gave up, angel."

She staggered slightly and clasped onto my arm with wide eyes when she felt as if she was going to topple over again. "You've seen me fall on my face at least thirty times. I'm beyond embarrassed now. I'm mortified."

"It's okay," I smiled lightly and held her close to me before gently moving, Eden teetering next to me. "Just hold on tight to me and I promise I won't let you fall."

She grinned in gratitude, "thanks, Christian."

"Unless I fall first, then you're screwed," I responded with a straight face.

She giggled at that and clutched my arm even tighter, "oh as if! You're a natural. How are you so good at it?"

I let go of her and skated a distance from her, laughing as she thrashed around, trying to stay on her feet. "Dad has friends who own all kinds of teams. One of them is a hockey coach, and he taught us when we were younger. Learnt how to skate when I was four."

Arms flailing around, she finally stabilised herself and stood up straight, frowning at the icy ground as if it hurt her—well, it did hurt her at least thirty times. I sent her a proud smile. "Well, now I'm even more embarrassed. A four-year-old is better at ice skating than me. I suck!" Just as she said that, she wavered and then fell onto her knees, yelping as she did so.

"If you stay like that, then maybe you can suck," I said with a loud, unrestrained laugh, making Eden glower at me. It was troublesome to revive a time where I enjoyed myself this much. Happiness was the absenteeism of all negative emotions, and I usually struggled to conjure up even one.

"Shut up!" she squealed in frustration as she pushed herself onto her feet again. Interestingly enough, I discovered Eden didn't like to fail, she enjoyed winning. And when she didn't succeed at something, she was comical - like a petulant child. She dared to skate towards the exit of the rink to get away from me and the ice.

Unfortunately for her, I sensed this and slid to her, wrapping my arms around her slight frame and carrying her back to the centre of the rink to restrain her from wobbling away from me. She shrieked as I lifted her body in my arms before pouting at her failed attempt at fleeing the icy hell. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Shut up. I can't do this," she lamented and leaned her forehead against my chest. "Every time you move away, I end up falling over like an egg!'

I chuckled aloud at her analogy, "I think it's adorable that you cling to me like this." Holding her tight, I tried moving again and smiled as her feet slid on the ice. She was trying, I'd give her that. After a while, she could skate whilst only having to hold my hand. And damn, did she have a grip when she was frightened.

Even though she felt better about the ordeal earlier, I could see there was a lingering essence of self-doubt in her eyes. I hauled her closer, and she squeaked but was cut off when I placed my lips against her rosy cheek. Pulling away, I said, "tell me something random that you enjoy doing."

She tried to steady herself and then encircled her arms around my waist, planting her chin against my chest so she could stare up at me. I noticed she did that a lot, and it made me thankful for her lack in the height department. "Well, I really like making flower crowns with Evie during Spring. There's a garden behind the house and there are so many flowers."

"Now think of it like this," I hummed, and she giggled, the vibration of my chest tickling her chin. "When you make these flower crowns, you use only the prettiest flowers, don't you?" She nodded. "Then only take your happy moments and string them together to make something pretty. Don't wallow about something as stupid as what happened earlier."

Eden's lips cracked into a silly grin and her eyes shimmered as she hoisted a hand to flick my nose. "You know, you should take your own advice too."

I thought about it for a second, imagining stringing my happy moments together. Happiness was something I barely understood. For some people to be happy, they needed to have enough money to purchase an entire planet. Others needed only the closeness of their family and friends. Eden seemed like she didn't need to find happiness in anything else. She just had it deep inside her.

And I had to admit to myself - I wanted that too.