The curtains added a cerulean radiance to the morning sunlight that was trickling through the window. The sun gushing in made the room heated, and I yanked off my jacket, leaving on a t-shirt. I flung the jacket onto a heap of clothes I was yet to shove into my luggage bag. We were leaving tomorrow.

And Eden was coming with us.

Just the thought of her accepting delivered a smile to my face. Her voice when she whispered the words deal was like an invigorating medicine better than any remedy ever created by man. It was as if her grin jabbed microscopic holes all over my body and every bit of tension slipped out.

As I'd stated before, every emotion to me was fleeting. But this one seemed endless, attached to me as a fragrance that's redolence would never wash away. The dilemma was, I couldn't pinpoint this precise emotion. Call me a robot if you will. CJAA model 1 - Christian James the Android Asshole.

"You look happy."

So that was the sensation currently tackling everything inside me. Evie stood at the threshold of my room, a purplish quilt wrapped around her shoulders like a shawl. She was still clothed in fleecy pyjamas and her hair was a mess. I observed as she wandered over to the window and pulled the curtains back further, ascending onto a stool and placing her elbows on the ledge.

The interwoven strands of sunlight irradiated her cherub face, cheeks becoming roseate with the warmth. I discerned that her accent sounded similar to her dad's, and I remembered Eden telling me that Petya and Evie frequently conversed in Russian with one another. Evie inclined her head to the side to gaze at me. "You don't look happy about being happy."

Of course, happiness would be so simple for her. She was a child. They found delight in everything. Life was a blur of adventures for her - something I didn't have growing up. There was such a simple sagacity to her, and I envied it. I wanted to see life through her eyes, the life of a simplistic child.

I was envious of a child, fucking wow. Shaking my head, I said, "thanks for your help the other day. With the festival information." She beamed at me and transmitted the same harmony her middle sister did. As promised, I stood up and extracted a bag of candy from my closet. Evie squealed as I delivered it to her.

"Spasibo," she squealed again, the sound nearly fragmenting my eardrums.

I blinked. "What?"

"Spasibo," Evie restated as if she was talking to a baby, the lilt to her words appearing smooth. "It means thank you in Russian." I tried to echo the word but only prompted her to rupture into a torrent of giggles. My smile threatened to become larger. Since when did I take delight in children's laughter? "Say it again, Dum Dum."

Humouring her, I repeated the words, "Spasibo." She praised my efforts, and this time I let a smile slip. Motioning to the bag of candy, I informed her, "that's a lot of candy. You better hide it or else your parents will take it away."

"Bah," she beckoned a hand, just like her father did when he brushed off a comment. "Papachka and Mamochka are with Dyadya Olezka. They're helping with the stupid food festival." I assumed dyadya meant uncle, and I was correct because Evie applauded me when I asked her.

"Mary!"

The scream sounded absolutely horrified, and I swear my heart nosedived out of my ass. Evie shrugged but barely got a sound out before I hastened out of the room and towards where the outcry originated from. There was another terrified shriek, and it guided me to Eden's room.

Without knocking, I launched through the door and frowned at what I saw. The room appeared normal, sunlight streaming through the windows, but that wasn't what I was concentrated on. Fear was a four-letter word. I'd never encountered it before because I never put myself in a situation to be fearful. But at that moment, fear wasn't just chemicals - it was an actual sensation I was undergoing. Dread submerged my system.

Eden seemed to be confined to her own psychosis. Her watery hazel eyes were swelled and there was perspiration glistening on her forehead. It appeared as if her brain collapsed and she was withdrawn, regarding me in a way that she'd watch TV. I walked closer but then stopped, watching her glance at me with frightened eyes.

Her tears were spilling down her face as if a dam just exploded. She wailed, the sound coming from deep within her throat, showcasing how much she was panicking. Seeing her tears made an unfamiliar feeling strike me, asphyxiating me and hindering me from breathing. She tugged the blanket further around her and glanced around, prompting her to tremble and let out another terrified sob, the noise stabbing at my erratically thrumming heart.

Mary hastened into the room, embellished in her sleepwear, not in the slightest bit startled her sister was wailing her eyes out. Eden gagged on her cries and I hurried closer again, but she reared her left arm to keep me away. "No," she stuttered, lips trembling.

"Eden," I murmured, jaw clenching as she wept. Her cries were noisy, her chin staggered, and she was trembling. It perplexed me. I had no idea what was happening.

Mary's gaze was sympathetic, and she massaged the sleep from her eyes, moving closer to the bed. "Denara," she conversed warmly, each movement careful as if she was accosting a frightened animal. Eden glimpsed to her, lips shuddering. "I'm here, sweetheart. It's okay."

Eden shook her head, eyes skittering across the room. It looked like she was expecting something to plunge out of thin air. "It was so dark, Mary - I-"

"Don't stress yourself out," the older Orlov sister articulated tenderly, sitting down at the edge of the bed as I followed in utter bewilderment. Neither of them acknowledged my presence. "You're completely safe. No one's going to hurt you." The idea of her in agony made me scowl. "It was just a bad dream."

"He wanted-" she hiccupped and my jaw clenched. I ached to stretch out and hold her. "It was so dark, Mary. I couldn't see anything and-" Mary deadened her next words hauling her into her arms, smoothing her back as she cried. I wondered if this was the reason she was terrified of the dark and why she didn't sleep alone -because she had nightmares.

I went silent. Mary nodded thoughtfully, still composed whereas I was on edge. "You're safe here, Eden. There's nothing to worry about."

"He tried to hurt-" Eden choked out against her sister's chest and I felt my anger boil, wondering who the fuck wanted to hurt her. She mumbled the familiar Russian sentence, and I was correct when Mary replied, "I won't leave you, Eden."

Eden was grieving silently. There were so many people in the world that were hurting inside and she was one of them. Yet, I never would have speculated it. It was like she was standing under a new light. I tore my way out of my customary dismal thoughts and glimpsed over the fort built around me - and there was Eden. I stared at her in reverence, every neuron in my brain going ballistic.

"Can you get her something to eat, please?" Mary sought over the sound of her sister's sniffles. It took a second for me to apprehend that she was speaking to me. Her green eyes were moist, showcasing that she wasn't as unaffected by this situation as I formerly assumed. I nodded, watching Mary slowly guide Eden out of the bed and to the bathroom.

My thoughts were operating wildly. I could barely even concentrate on making the chicken sandwich. My hands were trembling the entire time, and I nearly jumped out of my skin when Evie leapt onto the counter. Her gaze was withdrawn as she observed me move around the kitchen.

When I finally found my voice, I inquired, "does that always happen?"

Evie stared at me like I was a complete stranger, which in a way, I was. She narrowed her copper eyes at me, looking like she was sizing me up. Eventually, she muttered, "not always."

"But it happens a lot," I persevered, breath hitching when she nodded. "Is that why she doesn't sleep alone?" She nodded again, and I swallowed coarsely. "How often does she get nightmares?"

The little girl looked dejected, hopping off from the counter. "I don't want to speak about this." I discerned Evie must've dealt with this the worst, considering that she shared a bed with Eden and had to wake up to a frightened sister. I wouldn't have been able to cope, listening to Eden's cries.

I nodded, placing the sandwich on a plate and getting a glass of orange juice, my favourite. "Okay."

Putting the breakfast on a tray, I was about to head back to Eden when Evie abruptly called my name. When I twisted back, she murmured, "you should know that they aren't just nightmares." I clenched my jaw. "They're memories."

Her words rang through my head like an earworm, repeatedly. If they were memories, someone had actually hurt or tried to hurt Eden. There was a more profound significance behind her fear of the dark, of being alone. But I wouldn't interrogate her about it, I decided. If I really needed to know, then she'd tell me.

When I got back to the room, Eden was sitting in the centre of her made bed. She wore a sundress and her hair was brushed, looking fresh and wide awake. I didn't know what to say after witnessing that. Opportunely, she spoke first. "I'm sorry you had to see that," Eden whispered, rubbing at her red eyes with a hand. "Now you know why I'm never invited to sleepovers."

Looking up from the tray I carried, I marked she wore a tiny smile. It was a bashful one, but there nonetheless. "Did you just make a joke?" I teased, content that she was endeavouring to ease the mood.

"Did you find it funny?" she quirked a brow, and I nodded with a smile. "Then yes, I made a joke." I chuckled heartily at her and was about to offer her the breakfast when Mary wandered in. "Please tell me you didn't call Papa."

Mary's face went rigid, and she crossed her arms. "I was going to." Eden pouted. "But you calmed down much faster this time, so I decided against it." Eden groaned in relief. Mary peeped at me and then back to her sister. "Jeremy and Astrid aren't here so luckily we only have one person to explain things to-"

"You don't have to explain anything," I cut her off, depositing the tray onto the dresser. Eden's brows furrowed, and I sent her a small smile. "She'll speak about it when she's ready, but for now I'm fine. As long as I got to help." I gesticulated to the sandwich.

I caught Mary's approval, judging by the grin she sent me. There was obvious gratitude in her green eyes. She nodded before leaving to get her baby sister ready for the day. Eden suddenly became restless and stood up, crossing her arms awkwardly. "I know, I'm a total freak. Who still has nightmares, right?"

Her tone was jesting, but her words held an underlying hint of truth. I moved forward, grabbed her hand and brought it to my face. Dropping a kiss on her palm, then her fingers and her arm all the way up to her shoulder, I smiled at her before stopping at her face. Her touch branded my skin with a simplistic impression. "May I?"

Our first kiss resulted from a dare, and she leaned in first, catching me by surprise. This time, I'd be the one to kiss her. "Okay." That would've been a tremendous blow to my ego if I didn't know that Eden was naturally like that. I was thankful enough that she was allowing me close to her.

Glancing down at how soft her lips looked, I bumped my nose against hers before pressing a sweet kiss to her mouth. I bit her bottom lip lightly, and she gasped, missing the feel of my lips against hers as I pulled away. She tipped her head imperceptibly, causing the light to hit her hazel eyes at the perfect angle. It was more green than brown today. "You're amazing."

"But still a freak," Eden whispered in return and I shushed her. We stood in silence. Those transparent holes she poked in my body were now open to accept the tendrils of calmness she radiated with one comforting smile. "Did I scare you enough that you'd leave me here in London?" she queried.

She spoke as if she concluded there was something wrong with her. And it hit a little too close to home, reminding me of my struggle. My mood threatened to darken, brows furrowing and a frown replacing my smile. I was sure there was an indignant look in my eyes, but it wasn't levelled towards Eden. No, it was directed towards someone else.

"Eden," I said her name so firmly that she actually stiffened. "I'm not going to suddenly hate you just because you have nightmares."

Once upon a time, I felt emotions just like anybody else. But I had to put an end to it at some point because I needed to get a grip on my mind. Just like she needed a nightlight, I needed those fucking cancer sticks. Cigarettes enabled me to reach a balance. Whenever I felt like wandering back in time to those Godawful memories - just one puff would take it all away.

Before any negative emotion could even form, I concealed it - the same going with positive ones. I kept everything inside, no matter how much my chest pained. But Eden made me apprehend something. That space where I was compressing all of those emotions was becoming crowded.

Eden came with her own set of emotions and it tackled me down, forcing everything else out before taking a place in my chest. It felt permanent, as if it would only ever disappear when I ceased breathing one day and my soul left this world. Even then, I hoped this feeling would stick with me because it was one of such peace.

"I'm really sorry that you had to witness -"

"No, don't apologise. There's no need to." I stopped her from speaking, turning to look at her. The soft look was back in my eyes. I'd unknowingly travelled back to a dark time, a time when I felt helpless. Luckily, her voice had lured me away from those thoughts. "There's something I need to tell you."

"I swear to God, Christian, if you tell me you're gay. I'd support you and all, but that would literally be the worst thing to ever happen to me. Of course, it would be me who'd turn a straight guy gay –"

I shut her up with a kiss, a smile on my face as I did so. That she was rambling made me feel slightly better. "I'm not gay, angel." Wrapping an arm around her, I pulled her closer, and she rested her head on my chest. "I think I have a crush on you."

It was such a middle-school thing to say. But wasn't that what I wanted, to experience the simplicity of a carefree childhood?

She lifted her head, placing her chin against me so she could stare into my eyes. "Does this mean we get married?" I blinked. "I'm joking. But it's good to know that you reciprocate my feelings. I mean, I just exposed me deepest, darkest -"

I chuckled as she continued rambling, eyes becoming glazed each time a new topic popped into that big brain of hers. Even though she was coming with us to California, there was still exhaustion in me. Probably because I knew her stay wasn't permanent.

And without a doubt, I knew that after the training programme ended - it was going to be impossible to let Denara Orlov go.