The rain dropped from an aggressive sky, creating a violent melody as it hit the roof. I sheathed my blanket tighter around myself, sagging down into the warmth of the large couch. This was my favourite spot in the house and I loved it even more when there weren't as many tenants staying at the Bed and Breakfast - it meant that I had this little spot all to myself. It had huge fluffy couches in front of floor-to-ceiling windows through which you could view the garden. The sight was especially wonderful when it was raining. Soil turned a deeper hue when the divine droplets kissed it. I always thought of the rain as a new beginning, cleansing away the difficulties of the previous day.

Yet, it was the first time I didn't spend my day doing something that others considered tasteless. Yesterday Christian had taken me to Winter Wonderland, and it was the most enjoyment I'd had in ages. So this time, I didn't want the rain to wash out the memories of yesterday. Instead, I wanted it to water them. I glimpsed back outside when I heard a tremendous splash, spotting Evie messing around in the puddles whilst decked in warm clothes, a raincoat and rain boots. Next to her was Graham, a cute little boy who lived a few roads away. Their relationship was complicated for me to understand. They had a playdate listed for today, and I had the absolute pleasure of watching them.

My parents were out with my uncle, trying to plan every detail regarding the festival he wanted to have. It was something he'd wanted to do for years. He wanted to throw a huge food festival, inviting many local restaurants and stores in order to bring the community together. Mary interned at Monarch University, the same place where she'd studied Psychology and the same place where I was scheduled to start my first year. She was probably there at that moment.

The place was quiet, save for the children, so I assumed our three temporary tenants had gone out. Evie plunged into another puddle and it brought a tiny smile to my face. When I was younger, I used to think of the backyard as a battle that only the fearless fought. I climbed trees, bypassed puddles because they were lava, the branches were my swords and the grass was my battlefield.

And just like Evie, I'd had a friend to accompany me on those adventures.

But all friendships ended. The only perfect ones existed in movies. In reality, it usually left you feeling more alienated than ever. I knew the solution would be to go out and make new friends, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, not ready for more heartbreak. Nobody could hold a candle to Ruben. Or perhaps that was just my naivete speaking.

"Hello, pretty lady!" Astrid leapt into my view, her dark hair in wild curls. Her entrance alarmed me because I presumed she went out. She sent me a huge grin before thumping onto the seat next to me.

I sent her a smile in return, trying to restart my heart from her unexpected appearance. "Hi."

Astrid motioned to the blanket around me and I stared back in confusion. "Mind if we share?" My expression must've said it all because she laughed cordially. "Back home, there's no such thing as personal space so this is normal for me."

That attracted a laugh from me, and I unwrapped the blanket slightly and gesticulated for her to come closer. She nestled not only into the blanket but into my shoulder as well. "Are we cuddling right now?" I inquired with a snort.

"You bet your ass we are," she countered in a cheerful tone. "Cuddles are literally the best. Back when I was in high school, we'd have sleepovers on the weekends, but it was just an excuse to cuddle and watch sappy movies."

There was a trace of yearning in her voice, emphasising how much she missed her friends, and it made me feel lonelier than ever. "That must've been pleasant."

"It definitely was."

I peeked outside again to make sure Evie wasn't asphyxiating Graham, and when I saw they were just making mud cakes; I twisted back to Astrid. "Are you still friends with all of them?"

A scoff left her lips. "I'd sooner cut off my left leg than give up one of my friends. Some of us go to different colleges, but we still hang out all the time." There was a resounding splash, and she looked to the side, grinning at my baby sister before stating, "I still remember being her age and playing house with Bella—who's one of my friends, by the way."

"I've read about places like those," I spoke up and Astrid raised a perplexed brow. "I mean, small towns like that. The ones where everyone knows everyone. It's kind of difficult to not make lifelong friends in towns like that."

She nodded in understanding, following what I was saying. I was astonished that I hadn't yet blurted random facts. It might have been because Astrid was very pleasant to be around. There was taciturnity for a while, but it wasn't uncomfortable. We watched the two children play in the rain together.

After ten minutes, I spoke up again. "If your friends are anything like Christian, they must be rather fun to be around."

It took her a second to recognise my words, but when she did, she released a raucous cackle of merriment. She keeled over, dragging the blanket with her and startling me. Her howls poured from her lips, getting louder and louder. I observed with wide eyes.

Her cheeks were flushed with fat tears trailing down them. She could barely even breathe as she struck her knee. I pursed my lips, wondering what was so hilarious. Eventually, she composed although she was still giggling. When she saw the self-conscious smile I was sporting, her laughter ceased, and she grimaced. "Wait. You were serious?"

"As a heart attack," I whispered in dismay.

I watched as she stuttered, stumbling over her words and grappling to get them out. "But, I—wait—are we talking about the same Christian?" I nodded, and she slapped a hand over her mouth, concealing what I believed was a smile. Just as I was about to investigate what was going on, she bellowed, "Jeremy, get your flat ass down here!"

Not even a few seconds later, Jeremy practically zoomed down the stairs. His clothes were dishevelled, and he looked as if he'd just woken up from a nap. "I'm here!" He hurled himself onto the opposite couch. "What happened?"

Astrid relayed what I previously said, and I had the utter displeasure of watching Jeremy rupture into uproarious laughter. Not long after that, his girlfriend joined in again because it was just too tantalising to laugh at what I said. Me, on the other hand, I had no idea what was going on.

"Excuse me," I cleared my throat, tugging the blanket back up. "But do you mind telling me what's so funny? All I implied was that Christian's a very fun person. Which is true, by the way?" I thought back to the snowball fight we had. I'd been mistaken about him, stupidly basing his character off our first encounter—which was wrong on my behalf.

Jeremy wiped his teary eyes. "Cupcake, Christian James has held the title of Resident Asshole for years. Trust me, fun wouldn't be the word you used to describe him." He pulled a face. "Now, scary. That makes more sense. Have you seen him?"

I was about to object when Astrid planted a hand on my knee and declared, "Eden, the dude doesn't even smile. Not around many people, that is. And even when he does, it's such a rare occurrence."

"I've seen him smile," I told them, momentarily wondering if I'd imagined our day yesterday. "He even laughed when we had a snowball fight at Winter Wonderland. And when we had hot chocolate." The couple gawked at me, dumbfounded.

Astrid was the first to come to her senses. "When was this?"

"Yesterday," I said. "And why do you look so baffled? Christian said he and Jeremy found the place on a website of tourist attractions."

Jeremy swayed his head, a lazy smirk settling on his face. "No, we didn't." He shared a conspiratory glimpse with his equally evil girlfriend. "Damn, he's smooth." Astrid nodded in agreement, looking back at me.

"What?" I queried, wondering if they could read each other's minds because no words were being transferred. They just keep raising brows, winking and moving their shoulders. It was ominous to watch. "What's happening?"

After a shared nod with her boyfriend, Astrid turned to me and giggled. "I think Christian used that as an excuse to take you on a date."

Rapidly, I began shaking my head. "No, you've got this all wrong. There was no date. He only hung out with me because you two were busy. Those were basically his words!"

"Chris enjoys his solitude, trust me," Jeremy grumbled over the sound of the rain. "He went to you because he wanted to hang out with you."

"That changes nothing," I endeavoured to steer the discussion towards them. "He's not the only one, though. You two have been trying to get me to go out with you guys for the entire week you've been here."

Astrid actually gasped, and I furrowed my brows. "But that's because I want to be your friend. When you kept dodging me, I enlisted Jeremy's help, but we had no idea Chris was doing the same thing."

"We thought he stayed holed up in his room whenever we went out," Jeremy announced before sending me a smirk. "Clearly that's not the case."

I felt like I was having a brain freeze, but ten times worse. These thoughts were running through my head. It was like riding a bicycle around the same park repeatedly. I knew what they were saying couldn't be accurate. I've never interested anybody. And Christian was way out of my league. Our social circles were spheres that weren't even close to touching.

Astrid must've sensed that I was panicking, and I was grateful when she said, "Or perhaps he decided it was time to stop being an asshole and make more friends." Jeremy snorted at her words but quickly composed himself when she scowled at him. "That makes sense too."

I nodded. "I have to check on my sister. Excuse me." I left the blanket with her and seized my raincoat from the rack before entering the backyard. The two children were resting in a pool of mud, still making mud cakes. When they saw me, Graham inquired if we could play a quick game of football. He was persistent, even though it was raining.

Habitually, I abstained from playing the sport as it brought up too many memories from my childhood. But with my family, I couldn't help but play along because they loved the sport dearly too. My cousin, Matvei, was a football coach for children. Graham was part of his club.

My comfy boots would no doubt get soaked, but I didn't care, not when Evie and Graham beamed eagerly at me. The hood of my raincoat blew off and my hair became drenched. The rain was serene. It calmed me down and stopped my thoughts from running wild. It wasn't a full game considering we were only three people, but it was fun, nonetheless. Nearly an hour passed, but I was enjoying myself too much to go back inside. I knew I'd end up getting ill because I'd been out in the rain way too many times. I giggled when Evie slipped, splattering mud everywhere. Graham stood in front of the makeshift goalpost. When I tried to score a goal, he obstructed it efficiently.

My brows furrowed in shock, he'd gotten better since the last time he played. I got the ball past him only three times, whereas it would usually have been a handful of times. It was when I glimpsed into the window that I realised why. Christian stood there with crossed arms, muscles bulging. Heat seeped down my spine, a feeling I'd never encountered before. He watched Graham with a gratified smirk, the closest to a smile at that moment. Graham noticed him and gestured frantically. Christian looked to me next, a meaningful look in his eyes as I controlled the ball easily.

I turned away, scoring another goal before launching Evie into the mud. Graham soon tackled us both, and we lay there, camouflaged in mud as the rain caressed our faces. The two children on either side of me made me feel like a child again. They had little to despair about and were still blind to the horrors of the world.

Me, I gained that sight long ago.

And I still had nightmares about it.