SEPHTIS

"WOW! Aryl is really good at playing the instrument," namamanghang sabi ni Violet habang pababa silang dalawa ni Lis.

"Yeah," he answered when they landed.

Pagbaba nila, may lumapit na Desert Fae sa kanila at inalok si Violet na sumayaw. Kaagad naman nitong tinanggap ang kamay at nagtungo sa ibang mga fae na sumasayaw rin kasama ang kanilang partner.

Napangiti na lang siya. Parang kanina na lang galit na galit ito sa mga fae pero ngayon, nakikisali na sa kanila.

Pinaligiran ng mga Desert Fae ang lumiliyab na apoy habang sumasabay ang tunog ng nasusunog ng mga patay na sanga sa musikang nililikha ng instrumento ni Aryl. Ang mga lumilipad na abong papel ang nagsilbing niyebe sa gitna ng disyerto.

Lis glanced at Aryl who was sitting on the wooden chair opposite from his direction while playing a harp. The melody was soft and calming. Like a storm who just passed from a headache—slow and peaceful—lifting his mood to the clouds.

Napunta ang tingin niya sa kaliwa at saktong nahuli niya ang kaniyang butler na nakangiting nakatingin kay Aryl.

Ngumisi siya at dahan-dahang lumapit. Hindi pa rin siya nagawang mapansin nito kahit na nakaupo na siya sa tabi nito. Magsasalita na sana siya ngunit nagulat siya nang bigla na lamang mawala ang mga ngiti nito, bumagsak ang mga balikat at napayuko. Malalim ang bawat binibitiwan nitong hininga.

"Here you go again," simula niya dahilan para mapaigtad ito sa gulat.

"Master, since when did you sit here? I didn't know you woke up already."

Hindi niya pinansin ang sinabi at pinatong ang kamay sa ulo nito. "You're free to smile, Aster."

Napakurap naman ito at hindi nakagalaw. Ilang sandali pa ay umiwas ito ng tingin.

"Do I really deserve it?" he whispered.

Napangiti naman siya bago ginulo ang buhok nito. "Of course, you do."

However, Aster frowned. It did not comfort him. Mabilis nitong winaksi ang kaniyang kamay at nilingon siya na salubong ang mga kilay. "How could you say that? I killed my own family. My mom, my dad, my twin, and even my relatives. I killed them all!" Tumaas ang boses nito. Nanginginig ang mga kamay habang nagsasalita. "Everything that I cared about died just because I was happy. And now you're telling me to feel that again? What if I lose someone important again? What if I will repeat the same mistake I did? What if—"

"What if this time you will lose nothing?" He cut his words and gave him a reassuring smile.

The frustrating look from his butler allowed Lis to realize that the man he was staring at was still a child trapped by the past. He always acted strong, calm, and reserved when in fact he was just suppressing himself from the things that might lead him into attachment. Ito palagi ang nag-aalaga sa kaniya kaya minsan nakakalimutan niyang mas matanda pala siya. That the man was the younger one. That Aster was his and Cross' younger brother.

"You don't understand, master. I don't deserve to be happy. I . . . I don't deserve her." Nasapo nito ang noo at napatingin sa kalangitan. "I am a murderer. A murderer like me should be suffering, not the other way around."

He sighed. "Ikaw talagang bata ka. Ang liit-liit mo pa naman dati. Ganito oh." He gestured his hand in front while remembering how small Aster was when they first met. "Palagi ka ring umiiyak kaya hindi namin alam ni Cross kung paano ka patatahinin. You were ten that time when Mama took you in, naaalala mo pa? And for your information, Mama didn't take you because she wanted you to suffer." He gently touched his forehead with his finger. "She wanted you to live, Aster."

Nanatili itong tahimik kaya nagpatuloy siya. "You never wanted to kill them, but you are the birth of the Sun Dragon, the power that you have is strong and it is meant to be uncontrollable. You were a kid, Aster. What can a kid do when he got the power of the wildest dragon of the lineage?"

"But still! That's not enough to justify my murder!"

"I'm not justifying you. I want you to let go of that burden that you shouldn't be carrying. It's not entirely your fault," he said, smile still on his lips. "You did mess up. You unleash your power, and it devoured your whole lineage but you should also take in mind that you never wanted that to happen. Don't you think you already suffered enough?"

Tiningnan siya ng kaibigan at bakas ang sakit sa mga mata nito.

"No one ask you to punish yourself, but you did. You deprive yourself on the things that you love and enjoy when you were still a kid. And until now, you're still doing it. Don't you think it's enough?"

Umiwas naman ito ng tingin at tinutok sa kalangitan kaya tinapik niya ito sa balikat. "Be happy. You don't have to carry the name of your twin anymore, Sephtis."

Aster froze.

He burdened himself by carrying the name of his twin, which a name befitting for a Sun Dragon, a mistake done by his parents. Sephtis was a name for darkness, however, he loved it not until that incident. Now, he hadn't heard his name for ages.

"I have missed calling you Sephtis. Don't you miss it too?" He stared at the crumbling face of his butler. Dahan-dahan itong tumango habang namumuo na sa gilid ng mga mata ang mga luha. Bago pa tumulo, mabilis nitong tinakpan ang sariling braso kaya hindi niya makita ang pagtulo nito. Sinubukan niyang sumilip ngunit tanging panginginig lang ng labi ang kaniyang nakita. Sayang. Matagal-tagal na rin bago niya huli itong nakitang ngumuwa.

Hinagod niya na lamang ang likuran nito. Wala siyang marinig na boses pero kahit papaano, alam niyang nais na nitong palayain ang sarili sa nakaraan. At sana, ang usapang ito ang magsilbing dahilan upang bitiwan na nito ang dala-dalang mabigat na bagahe.

"I'm really sorry about what happened to Cross," he uttered as he remembered the face of his dearest friend.

"Shut your mouth."

Napatawa naman siya sa sinagot nito. "I said be happy. I didn't tell you to shut me up."

Hinayaan niya muna itong maglabas ng mga luhang may mga bigat ng nakaraan at tinuon ang tingin sa mga nagsasayawang mga fae. Nasakop ng kaniyang mga mata si Violet. Iba na ang kasayaw nito. It was Lucas.

Pinagmasdan niya ito habang 'di napapansin ang umaangat niyang mga labi. Huminga siya nang malalim dahil hindi niya mawari ang kaniyang nararamdaman. Ano ba ang nais nitong sabihin? Nalilito siya.

Pansin niya naman si Aryl sa kabila na patuloy pa rin sa pagtugtog ngunit nakatingin na pala ito sa direksyon nila. May guhit ng kuryosidad at pag-aalala ang mga mata nito kay Aster kaya napangisi siya.

Siniko niya ang kaibigan sa tabi. "Your dream is looking at you."

Pinahid ni Aster ang mga luha bago tiningnan ang gawi ni Aryl. Mabilis na napaiwas ang dalawa nang magtama ang kanilang tingin.

"Pfft." Pagpipigil niya sa sariling matawa ngunit hindi siya nagtagumpay dahil nauna nang humalakhak ang kaniyang bunganga bago pa mag-utos ang kaniyang isipan.

"Master."

"Yeah?" natatawa pa rin niyang sabi.

"She . . . doesn't hate me, does she?"

"Hindi ba nagkaaminan na kayo no'ng nakaraan? Why are you even questioning that kind of thing?"

Kumuyom ang mga kamao nito at huminga nang malalim. Nagtaka naman siya sa biglaan nitong pagtayo at pagpunta sa kaniyang harapan.

"All right. I made up my mind. I'm going to fight for her."

Ilang segundo pa siyang natigilan. Hindi siya makapaniwala na lalabas ito mismo sa bibig ng lalaki. His mouth hung open as his palm clapped in slowmo. He had never been this proud. Gusto niyang maiyak dahil binata na nga ang butler niya.

Handa na siyang makipagkamay rito ngunit napatigil siya sa sunod nitong sinabi.

"So, may the best man win."

"Huh?" Napakunot siya sa noo at takang tiningnan ang kamay na nakalahad sa kaniyang harapan. "Come again?"

"I said I'm going to fight for her. This may be hindering your dreams, but I want to be with her, and I wanted her to be with me, so I'm sorry, master. I might stop you from getting your Dragon Stone back."

Doon niya lang naunawaan ang nais nitong sabihan dahilan para mapatawa siya ulit. Did he think he was going to compete with him? He didn't even like the woman. Not to mention, he had been rooting for them from the beginning, so who is he to hinder them?

"If you're talking about the deal, don't mind it. I'm not planning on marrying her nor do I want to compete with you."

"What? But what about your stone? Are you planning to kill her instead?"

"No."

"Then, what is it? Are you going to give up on your ambition?"

Umiling siya. "After all the things that had happened to us here, there are more things that I like to find out first, many things that needed fixing. I can't reach my ambition if I can't fix this messed up place."

He was not blind. Sa dami nang nalaman niya, alam niyang madami pang sikreto ang nakatago sa bansa nila at kailangan niya munang malaman iyon. At kapag nalaman niya ang lahat, doon niya lang masasabi kung dapat pa bang tuparin ang mga pangarap niya.

He needed to be careful, and he needed to think what was best for everyone.

"I'll think about what to do with my Dragon Stone later, so yeah, be happy with her."

If he couldn't find any solution, then he might just gonna give it up to Aryl forever.

Bago siya tumayo, may binulong muna siya kay Aster. "I don't mind if you choose not to follow me anymore either and be with her. Do what you want."

"But your mother appointed me to be your butler. I can't—"

"Sephtis." Pinutol niya ang mga salita nito. "My mother wishes for your happiness as well."

Natahimik naman si Aster. Tinapik niya ang balikat nito bago tuluyang maglakad. Medyo may kalayuan na ang nalakad niya nang magsalita ang kaibigan.

"About Sol, I am not blaming you. What you have just said to me a while ago . . . try to apply it to yourself as well. It's not entirely your fault."

He flinched. Nakatalikod na siya kay Aster.

Tipid siyang ngumiti kahit hindi nito makita. "I see. Then, I guess we have our own burdens to carry."

Hindi na niya nilingon pa ang kaibigan at bagsak ang mga balikat na naglakad palayo.

'Apply it to myself?'

Napatawa siya nang mapait.

'No. You and I are different. You were a kid, and I wasn't. I did not lose control when I lost Cross. It was because I was weak. It was entirely my fault that we lost him.'

Naglakad na siya palayo at nagtungo sa direksyon kung saan naroroon si Hon. Nakaupo ito sa isang wooden chair na kagaya ng kay Aryl habang nakabusangot.

"Hi!" Hinila niya ang bakanteng upuan at tumabi kay Hon.

Inismiran naman siya nito. "Get lost."

Imbes na makinig ay hinawakan niya ang braso nitong nangingitim at hindi maigalaw. He used his Reverse Spell to bring it back to its original color. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Kaagad nitong binawi ang braso nang maigalaw na nito. Tumalikod ito sa kaniya at ilang sandali bago mapagpasyahang magsalita. "I should be the one apologizing."

"Then say sorry to me."

Mabilis itong napalingon sa kaniya. Isang ngiti naman ang binalandara niya. Isang matamis na ngiti upang takpan ang pagkaasar niya sa lalaki. Siyempre kahit sinabi niya sa ama nito na okay na sila, nabubuwisit pa rin talaga siya. Kung puwede niya lang pingutin ang tainga at itapon ito sa nagliliyab na apoy, ginawa na niya.

"I'm waiting."

Napakamot ito sa ulo at mabilis na inalis ang tingin. "S-sorry."

"Okay. You're forgiven," sagot niya dahilan para mas malukot ang mukha ni Hon.

Hindi na niya pinansin ito at tinungo ang direksyon nina Lucas at Violet. It had been a while since he last danced. He night as well dance with the woman he finds so comfortable.

Tumikhim siya pagkalapit niya kaya napatigil ang dalawa.

"May I?"

Naunawaan ito ni Lucas. Binitiwan niya ang babae, yumukod at umalis. Si Violet naman ay pinagkrus ang mga braso.

"Kaka-reject mo lang sa akin tapos yayayain mo 'kong sumayaw?" Kunyaring nagtatampo sa kaniya ngunit tinanggap naman nito ang kaniyang kamay.

"Hindi ba puwede?"

Hinawakan niya ang baywang nito at iginaya sa isang sayaw. Napahawak ang isang kamay nito sa kaniyang dibdib habang sinusundan ang kaniyang mga galaw. "Puwede naman basta ikaw."

Hinayaan nilang dalawa na malunod ang tingin sa isa't isa habang nagpapaalipin sa tunog ng arpa. Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin talaga niya magawang maunawaan ang nararamdaman sa tuwing mapapatingin sa rito. Kahit na ang mga halamang buhay na buhay no'ng nakaraan na ngayon ay nalanta na dulot ng paglabas ni Witheria, pakiramdam niya'y punong-puno pa rin ng buhay ang paligid niya dahil sa kasayaw niya.

Dahil kay Violet.

"What did you do to me last time?"

"Alin?"

"The bandage."

"Ah! It's my attribute." Bumitaw ito sa kaniya. Umihip ito sa hangin at pagkatapos may lumabas kaagad sa mga daliri nito na kulay ube na mga bendahe. "These detects emotion and mends them. When I used it on you, I felt how you were struggling, so I took that emotion instead and made it mine."

"What? Are you saying that—"

Umiling ito bago pa niya matapos ang sasabihin. "The moment I received it, that also will only be the time for me to feel the emotion. It will leave my system and will be gone forever after I felt them."

Huminga naman siya nang malalim. He didn't want Violet to feel miserable about his messed-up emotions.

"Lis."

"Yeah?"

Violet coped his cheek as she stared deep into his orbs. "You are such a soft person. You were never terrible."

Napakurap siya. Hindi niya kayang alisin ang kaniyang mga tingin. Gusto niyang dito lang siya. Sa mga mapayapa nitong mga mata.

"Violet, have we met before?" he asked once again for his unexplainable feelings were saying something.

"Bakit, Lis? Napanaginipan mo na naman ba ako?"

"No. It's just that—uh—nothing."

'It feels like you've always been here. With me.'

Hindi niya tinuloy ang sasabihin at ibinaon na lang muna sa sarili ang mga tanong sa isipan.