Smile! It's Sunnah!

Narrated by Ibn Jaz:

"I have not seen anyone who smiled more than the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)."

Tirmidhi  Vol.1, Book 46, Hadith 3641

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The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"Whoever revives my Sunnah then he has loved me. And whoever has loved me, he shall be with me in Paradise."
(Tirmidhi)

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I closed the door behind me with shivering hands. I slowly made my way to the bed and sat on the edge of it. I tried to register what just happened in my mind and held the bedsheet in both of my fists as my mind kept chanting the same words again and again.

I did it. I did it.

I stood up after what felt like hours and made my way to the washroom. I walked to the sink and held it for a second before turning the tap on and splashing water on my face, twice.

I raised my head and looked at the mirror. I looked normal except for the empty eyes. The scene replayed in my mind again after I closed my eyes.

I entered the guest room where Naeema Phuphi and Nawal were staying. I kept the plate of paneer nuggets on the nightstand and called for Phuphi.

"Wait a minute, Inaya! I'm changing!" I heard her voice coming from an empty locker room.

I was walking to the bed to sit on it when I heard Phuphi's cell ringing.

"Inaya, would you be a dear and pick the call? It might be Ammi (mother) calling. I'm almost done!" I heard her saying.

"Sure," I said and picked the mobile from the nightstand.

My eyes widened for a second before it dawned on me.

Aapi.

It was displayed on the flashing screen. My hands shivered as I touched the green symbol and took it near my ear.

"Assalamualaikum! Naeema, what were you doing? You didn't even call yesterday. Forget that! I just called to inform you that Amira is sick and she won't be able to make it. So I guess I would have to come with the kids. Naeema? You-"

"Walaikum assalam," I said, cutting her words.

Her silence indicated that she knows it is me. Even if she can't recognize my voice since it's been 12 years, she can guess it. However, I choose to inform her.

"Phuphi, It's me, Inaya!"

Although she didn't reply, I knew she was listening.

"Please don't hang up!" I don't know why I said that.

"Phuphi! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for not making peace between us all these years. Phuphi, I can't live like this. I'm very happy here but the thought that someone hates me from my own family... It just.. it suffocates me. Phuphi, don't hate me!" A sob escaped my lips.

"Please! Phuphi, don't hate me!" I begged. All I could hear from the other end was silence. I took deep breaths to calm myself.

"Phuphi, we all know it was Allah's will. There is no such thing as luck. It was all Qadr(destiny). I understand you were sad and broken but I was broken too. He was my Dad," I paused, allowing myself to breath and continued after a moment, "Phuphi, all we can do is pray for him and pray that Allah reunites us in Jannah. Phuphi, say something! Phuphi, please!" I heard a beep indicating the call was disconnected. I kept the mobile in it's place.

I saw Naeema Phuphi standing few feets away from me. I looked at her for a second. She heard everything. I silently made my way to the door and walked to my room.

A sigh escaped my lips. I performed ablution after I splashed water on my face, twice, again. I saw Naeema Phuphi after I came out of the washroom. She was standing near the door. Her eyes held so many things but I was not able to read anything. Silence consumed us.

"I'm fine," I assured, breaking the silence. She nodded and went out. She understands that I really need some space.

But am I really fine?

I am not so sure about that, but I feel released. I took my prayer mat and laid it on the floor. I stood for the prayer facing the direction of Qiblah.

By the time I completed praying nafl prayer, I felt peace within me. I raised my hands and poured my heart out to The Al-Jabbar. Some of my sentences didn't make sense but I knew He understands it all as He is Al-'Aleem, The All-knowing.

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"It doesn't make any sense!"

"It does! You are just overreacting!"

"It does! It does! Why don't you just agree, buffoon?"

"Bu-buffoon?"

"Yes! You are buffoon!"

"Stop with this buffoon, you buffoons! And Maryam, you have to say yes!"

"Hafsa, not you too!"

And the voices continued to boom until I took the cell away from my ears.

I was on the conference call with my girl gang when all of the sudden Hafsa brought up the topic of Maryam's wedding. No one among us was married or engaged and we really wanted one of us to get married. So that one of us is always Maryam whenever this topic is brought up because she is just marriage material. We were pairing her up with her cousin and like always she was resisting.

"Girls!!! Will you please shut your unstoppable mouths?" I asked them with a loud voice. I just hope Nawal or Phuphi don't think I'm crazy for yelling in the mobile at such loud voice.

Izma and Humaira stopped talking, probably to take breath. It's not like they will listen to me.

"Shut up, you buffoon! We are discussing a very important matter here," Izma said.

"Stop with this buffoon thing, Izma and Maryam, let's forget your cousin. But there must be someone else whom you can marry. We really want to attend your engagement," Hafsa pleaded.

"C'mon! You guys are seriously out of your minds today," Maryam said. I can imagine her rolling her eyes.

"No, we are not!" I and Humaira said at the same time.

"Fine then. I will come to your house now and I will marry the first guy I see on my way," Maryam said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"That's cool! But what if you meet an old man or married man?" Humaira asked in mock seriousness.

"We can just skip the man in those two categories," Izma suggested.

"Great! So Maryam, get ready and-" Hafsa was interrupted by Maryam's loud groan.

We all burst out laughing at the same time excluding Maryam.

"Stop it, guys!" Maryam said, annoyed.

Just like any other time, we laughed more when she told us to stop.

"But we are really serious, Maryam!" Izma said.

I was still laughing when I heard the door of my room open. Nawal entered the room in a rush with a weird expression on her face.

"Are you... alright?" She asked, confused.

I laughed more at her expression while all of my friends had stopped laughing.

"C'mon, Inaya! That should be enough." Maryam huffed.

"Sorry, it wasn't for the same reason though. Okay guys, I guess I will have to hang up. Assalamualaikum!"

"Walaikum assalam!" I heard all of them say and hung up.

Nawal walked up to the bed where I was sitting and sat beside me.

"You do realize that you were laughing like a maniac, right?" She asked.

Of course, I do and It really helped me take things off my mind. I wanted to forget that conversation for a while before I tell Mamma. I really needed to share this with Mamma because I really needed her advice and to Adyaan too because I just want to.

"Yes," I said giving her a cheeky smile.

"It's very common though! Friends and conference call are meant to erupt laughter!" I stated.

"Uh... I don't know cause I haven't experienced it," She said, her face falling.

I didn't know what to say to that, but I remember her saying she had a bunch of friends. Before I could think further she said,

"Because we all live in the same neighborhood and we meet up almost everyday."

I looked at her with a blank expression to which she smiled cheekily, showing her teeth.

A picture of young Nawal smiling came to my head, making me smile. Alhamdulillah, sisters are truly a blessing. I really missed those days in India with my cousins. Nayab and I would play all day whenever Phuphi came to our house and little Nawal would run to Grandma saying she wants to play too. Only if Nayab was here too.

I saw fingers snapping in front of me, bringing me back from my reverie.

"Where were you lost?"

I shrugged and smiled.

She gave me a weird look before saying,"Let's cook something!"

She held my wrist and pulled me along with her to the kitchen.

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I was on my way to my room. Lost in my thoughts, I found myself standing in front of Adyaan's room. Since I am here, I may as well go inside.

His room as usual was a mess. For Allah's sake, it is vacations. How can he make a mess of his room in this way?!

I guess that's what he does all day. He is, unlike other boys I know, a decent boy. He has good habits of waking up early, praying without anyone telling him(which is good at his age), helping with chores in the house and many more. But the only thing in which he is like other boys is untidiness. Maybe worse.

I shrugged my thoughts away and plopped down on his bed. My earlier thoughts came back to my mind and her words rang in my ear.

"Tawakkul... Allah is the best of Planners."

I told Mamma about my conversation with Rihana Phuphi. She just said that one sentence, gave me her warm smile and a tender kiss on forehead. It was, maybe, her way of telling me that I did well by taking the first step and I should just wait for now.

"This is my room?" Adyaan said, but it came out more like a question, as he entered the room.

"Yes. Come in!" I signalled him to sit on the couch adjacent to me.

He did it without questioning me. He studied me carefully for a minute and maybe he understood that something isn't right. It's not like something is wrong but still...

"You can tell me anything. You know that, right?" He asked. I could sense concern in his voice and the slight crease on his forehead didn't go unnoticed by me. I smiled to myself.

Sometimes, well most of the times, I feel like I'm the younger one. Allah, I feel so immature in front of him. He handles this kind of situations well, Alhamdulillah. But if it is anything related to Rihana Phuphi, he hides away. Anyway, it was great of him to be this mature at the age of seventeen. After all, he is my brother.

"That's the reason I'm here."

But I wasn't sure if I should really tell him since it was related to Rihana Phuphi but it was high time for him too. Both of us should make peace with her. So I told him everything, the phone conversation and the thing Mamma said.

He stayed silent without any expression on his face.

"So what do you think?" I asked, unsure of what he would to say.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"Things that came to your mind after listening to it?"

"Well, its good that you were the one who took the first step. But I think it won't be resolved until you meet and talk it out. But she's there in India and you are here. I don't think we can do anything about it." His face seemed like he was thinking about it deeply.

"I have one more thing to say, but I'm not sure about it."

"What is it?"

"When I picked the call, she told something about Aunt Amirah being sick and she couldn't come here."

"What about it?"

"Aunt Amirah is supposed to come here with kids but now that she is sick maybe someone else will come. Rihana Phuphi said something but I was really shocked and didn't really hear anything," I told him and I really don't know whom they refer as kids, whether it's my cousins or someone else.

"So there's a possibility that she may come," He said to which I nodded.

"It will good for you, I guess," He shrugged.

"But what about you?"

My eyes met his and I could see he was surprised. He surely didn't see it coming. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

"She was like a mother to me, but I can't forget the way she hurt you. You were always strong and composed ever since I remember but that day you cried in front of me." He took a deep breath. It was like he was finding it difficult to say it but continued.

"You think I don't know how you were blaming yourself for Dad-Dad's death. Even after we shifted here, you didn't stop blaming yourself and I hated it when you woke up from sleeps due to nightmares."

"Inaya, I don't think I can't ever see her the way I used to," He said.

"Adyaan, I know you care for her and she loves you too. You were, I think you still are, a son to her. I don't want to be the reason she loses her son. She was very hurt and maybe she regrets it now," I said with hope even though I don't have any idea if she does or not.

I really can't think of anything to say so that I could convince him. I wasn't very good at giving advices and condolences unlike him. He is good even in these things. My brother is just perfect, isn't he?

"I feel like an oldie since I'm talking about serious matters," I joked after a few moments of silence.

"You are," He grinned.

"Then you should address me more respectively. Try saying Inaya Aapi or Inaya Ukht-" I was stopped as he stood up and said,

"Please, don't start again!" He covered both his ears with his hands and walked out.

"C'mon! Just once!" I said and followed him out of the door.

Our usual selves were back and the serious matters were forgotten, temporarily.

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Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu..!!

How are you, my dear readers?

I know I'm updating after what feels like decades but I'm really sorry. I know I have lost the handful of readers  I had but if there's anyone that's reading this, I'm more than thankful to you.

And Insha Allah, this time I will seriously do my best to update sooner but don't expect anything.

And also, this chapter is dedicated to Mimi_sanee, for being a great advisor, motivator and most importantly, herself. I don't think this chapter would have been updated if not for her kind words. JazakAllahu khairan kaseera for everything you did for me. I'm really grateful, dea.

So until next time,
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu..!!

Gazal