Chapter 7: maybe I was wrong

Dear diary,

I need a moment to process what Ash did to me today. I'm probably going to have a really big goofy smile on my face when I write about it- oh wait, it's already plastered on my face. are you ready diary? if only you were like a overly excited best friend whom I was about to tell a really exciting story to, but sadly you're just a book. but hey, I'm still writing it! I feel really awkward now because I'm having a "conversation" or some sort with my diary.

okay so, Ash kissed me! it was on the cheek, but he kissed me! it was amazing, like a million butterfly's wings were brushing the inside of my stomach, making it feel all tingly and weird. and my heart was exploding like the 4th of July fireworks! it was a nice feeling of course, but it was new it me. definitely.

and I realised I do have a crush on Ash. a really, really big crush. he's just so... ugh, I don't know. I don't have words to describe him. but be sure that it's everything positive in the dictionary.

-Cassie

I smiled in satisfaction at what I wrote and put my diary and pen on the bed side table. Shifting under my blanket, I switched the lamp off and let sleep take over me.

---

"good morning momzies!" I greeted.

"momzies? really Cas?" mom raised her eyebrows.

"whatever," I yawned, then stretched.

"waffles?"

"you bet," I grinned.

She handed me a plate with two prices of waffles and some maple syrup with some berries on top. Well, this was nice. I have no idea where mom had been to the last few days, I never saw her at home, or maybe when she was home I was out, but I felt like I haven't seen her much. I watched as she stirred up some waffles for herself. She looked tired. Her eye bags could be seen clearly, and her eyes were wrinkled. I didn't know why she was so tired, but if she want to tell me, she would've told me. So maybe I should give her the time, and space, to prepare herself to tell me whenever. If she has nothing to tell me, and is just tired, then sure, it's fine, but she would definitely have curfews and bed times from me.

After finishing my breakfast, I grabbed my bags and books, then left the house. I swung the keys in my in few finger until I reached my Ford.

Turning the stereo on, Dead Walker Texas Ranger by Sleeping With Sirens blasted through the car, making me jump. It scared me for a second. I chuckled at my silliness and started the car, driving to school.

I made sure to lower down the volume when I was nearing school. I groaned as the song If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn played and sighed. I love that song, but since I was reaching school, I had to stop it. I switched to my earphones and continued listening to If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn. I nodded my head lightly to the best and continued walking to my locker.

Someone slammed on the locker beside me but I didn't hear it, mostly because my music played too loud, but I felt the movement vibrate through the lockers, and of course I felt it on mine.

I furrowed my eyebrows and turned to look. I was pretty sure by this time, my eyes were bigger than you could ever imagine. This guy, whose name was Nathan something, and who was also a jock, had a bloody nose and a cut on his lip. I looked at the culprit and when I thought my eyes couldn't go any bigger, it did. I stared at Ash in horror. He had a bruised cheek, and a cut on his lip. He must have noticed that I was looking at him as his facial expression softened. I didn't like fights, I never liked them. When I was younger, mom and dad had this really big fight, he actually slapped her. They never had fights, even if they did, they would never resolve to violence. A few days after that, they were fine. Probably just a misunderstanding. Mom never told me, and it's not like I can ask dad what had happened, because to ask him that, he actually had to be on earth.

I felt tears threatening to flow out of my eyes. I didn't know why, I knew it wasn't about my parents' fight. But what was it? Was it because I thought Ash was different? But this has proven that he was mean on the inside? I don't know. The students had eyes on them, but no one noticed me in the picture, typical.

Ash and I continued to have our eyes starring deep into each others'. I felt a hot liquid trickle down my cheek and I knew I had let my tears fall. I shook my head slowly at him and pushed through the crowd, running out of the school. If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn continued to ring through my ears, because it was on repeat. I don't know why I was crying, which frustrated me. I had hoped Ash was different, but maybe he wasn't. Is that why I was crying? I honestly didn't know the answer myself.

The lyrics rang through my ears, and normally, it would've relaxed me, but I was far from relaxed.

the way that we are

it's the reason I stay

as long as you're here with me

I know I'll be okay

As soon as I was out of the school, I felt a warm grasp on my upper arm. I knew who it was, but I didn't want to turn around. And him being smart, he obviously stood in front of my, using his other hand to pull out my earphones.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know your locker was nearby," he said softly.

"so if my locker wasn't near, you would've continued beating him up?" I asked, anger boiling inside of me.

"hear me out, please," he begged.

"hear you out? hear you out?" I let out a dry laugh, "I thought you were different!"

My tears were still trickling down, but maybe it was frustrated tears.

He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"I am different! and you were the only one that has seen that!"

"well, maybe I was wrong," I said, wriggling out of his hold and walked to my car, more tears falling.

He looked hurt. The look displayed in his eyes. I felt bad, that I had hurt him, but I didn't know what else to feel. He proved that he was violent for god's sake.

"no! I won't let you go until you hear me out!" he exclaimed, grabbing my hands again.

"let me go!" I yelled, trying to wriggle out of his grasp once again. And note the 'trying'

His hold wasn't that hard, not to right that'd it bruise me or hurt me, but it was good enough to stop me from escaping his hold.

"please Cas, please," he said softly, pleading me to stay and hear him out.

I melted at the sight of his facial expression. But I realised I was suppose to be mad at him. But shouldn't I hear him out first? I mean before judging and all...

"fine," I huffed and let him continue.

"I was walking, behind Nathan, and I heard him talk to his friend about how he wanted a new 'catch' of the week cause he was getting sick of his girl, so I was about to zone out on him, but before I could, I heard your name. Something, anger probably, boiled up inside me, and that's when the fight happened. Just so happens it was near your locker." he explained.

I didn't know how to feel about this. A little part of me thought it was a little disappointing, another little part thought it was plain stupid, and a big part of me thought it was sweet. I felt more tears fall, maybe I was crying even harder. He used his thumb to wipe them away and engulfed me into his warm arms. I didn't push him away. I let him hold me, and I let myself melt into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his torso and we just stood there.

It was nice, and I thought maybe I should forgive him. But I hated how he had me wrapped around a finger. The butterflies were back, along with the fireworks. God knows how long we stood there, until I realised that Ash was hurt from the fight. I probably looked disgusting, but it's not like it had ever bothered me.

I pulled away from the hug reluctantly and said, "c'mon"

"to?"

"my car, I have a little first aid pouch in case of emergencies," I said shyly.

"woah," he smiled, then winced as he remembered the bruised on his cheek.

His hand was still on mine as I led him to my car, and it felt so warm. His hand made me tingle at the touch, and it looked like it was fit for my hand.

Yeah, as if.

He sat on the hood while I took out the first aid pouch.

"nice car," he said, impressed.

"thanks," I blushed.

I added some anti-infection spray on a cotton ball and pressed it to his lip as gently as I could. He winced then covered it up immediately. I didn't know what else to do since I couldn't put a band aid on his lip and I didn't have any ice or frozen peas for his bruised cheek so I let it be.

"sorry, that's all I can do to help," I said sheepishly.

"that's alright, normally I just leave it as it is, so thanks," he said genuinely, trying to smile but obviously didn't work.

"any ti-, no, not any time, because this should be the last time you get into a fight, okay?"

"does this mean you forgive me?"

"only if you promise you won't get into another fight," I warned.

"deal," he gave me a thumbs up and I shook my head at his lameness.

But you still like him.

True that.

>><<

A/N: hi:)) If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn link to the side or top!! I chose the acoustic one cause I though it'd fit better heh. I love that song so much<3 thanks for reading guys:)