Chapter 4: the park

Today was Saturday. Also, it means I'm going to the park. With Ash and Vanessa. The thought of Ash being there made my stomach tingle. Whatever it was, it felt weird. It was new to me, all these sudden feelings, that run through my body. It wasn't usual that's for sure. I was sort of happy he didn't mind Vanessa inviting me, she was an angel! Or at least I hope he didn't mind, he could've let it slide because it's his little sister. I liked how he was comfortable and himself when with his sister, like he was carefree. While at school, he was sort of emo and cool, again, it could just be a bad boy act.

My cold was gone, because my nose didn't feel all icky and gross. Also, my temperature must have went down as my forehead didn't feel that warm. Thank god I recovered. I really didn't want to miss this day. I never had friends, and now I'm hanging out with Ash and his little sister. Are we friends now? I was a little afraid, that maybe when we go back to school, I'd just become invisible again, like I had some super power.

I struggled to decide what to wear. I never had this problem before, I just wear whatever I like to wear. This was sort of another disadvantage of not having friends, girl friends especially. I wouldn't have the help of knowing what to wear and stuff like that. But it's not like I ever thought I'd hang around people, I do, but I don't talk to them. I needed to think this through fast though, because I'm not sure what time they're coming, so I had to get dressed fast.

I decided on something comfy. It's the park anyways, and the weather was just right. I pulled on a tee shirt, which was black and had a aztec pocket print design. Then, I decided on some denim jeans and red vans. I seemed to be just in time, because as soon as I got downstairs and grabbed a pack of skittles, the door bell rang.

"hi," I grinned as I opened the door.

"hi Cassie!" Vanessa chirped.

"hey," Ash said, smiling a little.

It's a rare thing, you know, to see Ash smile. Was he smiling at me, or was he smiling as the fact that Vanessa was so happy. Probably the second thing.

"are you feeling better?" Ash asked, maybe with a little bit of concern.

Yeah right, like he'd be concerned about me. Then again, he did ask. Or maybe it was a common thing to ask when a person is sick. A little part of me did want him to care for me. The thought of him caring for me made me a little dizzy, and made my heart go 2...4...6... skipping beats. Then again, it's Ash. And it's me. Ash Anderson wouldn't care for me, Cassie Flizz, a nobody as he calls it.

"so?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"oh... oh em yeah, I think I've recovered," I said, nodding.

"yes!" Vanessa exclaimed, clapping her hands up and down, "let's go!". She grabbed my hand and jerked me out of the house, with my phone in my back pocket, keys in the front pocket and my skittles in the other hand.

I was feeling a little bit hungry, so why not. Skittles are skittles, there's no need for an explanation on why I chose it.

"really?" Ash asked, raising his eyebrows, looking from me to the skittles as I opened the pack.

"what? they're good okay!" I said defensively.

"yeah, okay, I know they're good. They're my favourite," he said, letting out a light laugh.

"want some?" I asked, offering him some then Vanessa.

Both of them took up my offer -duh- and I poured a little onto each of their hands.

"thank you Cassie!" Vanessa grinned, her little teeth showing.

"you're welcome, angel." I smiled.

The park soon came to view, as well as the laughter and screams of the little kids in the park. I liked the park, at night though, because it was peaceful and quiet. I remember the time when I couldn't take it, after the incident, I just couldn't take it, so I came to the park. It was pretty late at night, but no one was there, or at least I didn't see anyone. I needed to cry my eyes out then. The house was too much, it held too many memories. I remember reliving the time I had fallen and scraped my knee at the exact same park.

*flashback*

"daddy come on!" I screamed.

"okay, okay, sweetie" he chuckled.

The squirrel was running away! I wanted to hold it, and feel it's soft fur. I gained speed but in less than five seconds, I was flat on the ground. I got up and looked at my knee, seeing that it was scraped and bleeding a little. It wasn't that painful, but it stung and throbbed.

"you okay, sweetheart?" he asked, but he saw my knee and said, "it's okay, we'll get that cleaned up!"

"okay..." I nodded.

"it'll hurt though, but you have to promise daddy not to cry" he smiled.

"okay! I'm a brave girl!"

"don't I know that," he chuckled.

*end of flashback*

I was indeed a brave kid then. I didn't cry when I fell, because it wasn't enough pain to make me cry. I didn't cry much. I didn't like how weak it made me feel. I know crying doesn't mean you've given up or that you're weak, but to me it is. That's why I built a wall. I didn't want to go through that kind of heartache again, that heartbreak that I had to survive with till now. That kind of pain was enough to make me cry.

"hey, you okay?" Ash asked, this time, he didn't bother hiding his concern.

I blinked. We were at the park sitting down, with Vanessa on the swing. Unknowingly, we had reached the park. Maybe I was too deep in my thoughts. Why did Ash ask if I was okay? I tried to notice what was different, then I realised, I was crying.

I was crying. So much for not crying. The memories must have made me miss dad so much more. It sucks though, knowing that you'll never have anyone walk you down the isle on my wedding day, or have a dad that warned any boyfriend of my to not hurt me -that's if I had a boyfriend- or have a dad comfort me. Never. I was a teenager when he went, which was the hardest part of my life. I had high school to go through, and just like that, he left. All because of an underaged driver.

"y-yeah, I'm fine" I lied, even though I was clearly crying.

"mmhmm, says the girl with tears streaming down her face. you don't need to talk about it, but are you okay?" he asked once more.

"not really," I muttered.

"okay," then the conversation stopped.

I was thankful that he didn't ask anymore questions, because I really, really didn't want to talk about it.

I watched Vanessa who was happily going forward and backward on the swing. Her smile was so bright, so big. I remember myself being like that; being that cheerful, carefree little girl. Of course I was carefree though, at that age, all I cared about was what time Pokemon and Stitch were airing. I miss that age. I missed having no problems in the world.

"y'know, bad things happen to everyone. it's like a blessing in disguise, it helps you realise the importance of things and people sometimes, it helps you realise how short life is sometimes, it helps you realise how much you love someone sometimes. it helps you realise the mistake you've done, in which has caused someone's else's suffering sometimes. Many things in life teaches us an important value. so whatever you've been through, I'm sorry for it but you have to think about it as a blessing in disguise and move on." Ash suddenly said.

I listened to every single word carefully. He was right.

"that," I paused, "was really deep"

I was trying to lighten up the mood here. It was too depressing.

Ash chuckled and sighed, "yeah, it was. but hey, if you ever want to talk about it," he paused, almost looking nervous, "you can um, talk to me"

"thanks Ash" I genuinely smiled at him.

He gave me a small smile and we just sat there, in a peaceful silence, well if you block out the kids' laughter and screams then yeah, it was silent. It wasn't awkward though, it was calming and peaceful. It was sweet of him to say those things. Obviously, he knew that I didn't want to talk about it but I was affected by it. He didn't know what, but that little inspirational speech really touched my heart.

He cared.

That thought made my heart flutter. It was like my heart forgot how to beat regularly. My stomach felt weird, like flowers just blossomed in them. That thought made me want to smile, because it somehow comforted me. But I couldn't pinpoint the feeling I was having.

It's something called a crush.

That's impossible mind, simply impossible.

>><<

A/N: slightly deep chapter:> hope you guys still enjoyed it and give it a vote if you did maybe?:) that'd be amazing, thank you guys!!<3